trying to get ex back , help

[SunnyD]

Give NO REACTION. Repeat that in your head a zillion times, because that's what she's after. If you do reply, say "well who said I wanted you back??? I'm having too much fun being single, so should you." That will throw her dumb little game for a loop.

 

[MacAvoy]

Give NO REACTION. Repeat that in your head a zillion times, because that's what she's after. If you do reply, say "well who said I wanted you back??? I'm having too much fun being single, so should you." That will throw her dumb little game for a loop.

This is so true. Its classic women behaviour after a break up. Cut contact completely, don't answer her calls, don't reply to her txts. She's going to call you immature for ignoring her but its all a ploy to get you to respond.

Whatever you do, don't do it.

Thread in Mature Man Forum about No contact

 

[jacob]

I already reacted this morn when we talked she said " I bet you already f**ked her" and I said " no, I bet I could but I was waiting for you." then we talked for another hour, I started to get horny and AFC then told her to come over and that I still loved her. I asked if she still loved me she didn't respond then "I said should I even try and salvage us?" she said "after seeing the pic "no" then I asked one more time "am I your man?" She said "no" so I said "ok" then hung up on her. I tried pretending to be alpha and strong, but now I don't know what to do from here. I think the begging and her knowing the older lady isn't as good looking as her did give her relief like SunnyD said and she posted message saying after seeing that she feels stronger and ready to move on. Help. what's my next option.

 

[sav]

I already reacted this morn when we talked she said " I bet you already f**ked her" and I said " no, I bet I could but I was waiting for you." then we talked for another hour, I started to get horny and AFC then told her to come over and that I still loved her. I asked if she still loved me she didn't respond then "I said should I even try and salvage us?" she said "after seeing the pic "no" then I asked one more time "am I your man?" She said "no" so I said "ok" then hung up on her. I tried pretending to be alpha and strong, but now I don't know what to do from here. I think the begging and her knowing the older lady isn't as good looking as her did give her relief like SunnyD said and she posted message saying after seeing that she feels stronger and ready to move on. Help. what's my next option.

no point in helping you.. your next option is to go **** yourself... you seem like a troll... either take the great advice given in this thread or stop asking for it and not taking it...

 

[jacob]

sav this was before I got the responses so I just did what came naturally at the moment. then after work while thinking about the situation I got home and read the great ideas from SunnyD and MacAvoy but it was to late to do that I already did what I wasn't suppose to do. So I'm asking now what? I went to the link about no contact it gives me inspiration. but what other option at this point?

 

[Z Man]

Your next move?

Well, I am in a similar situation, except my "ex" is an inexperienced young woman I like who seems to have gotten scared after I tried to kiss her.

Haven't talked to her in 2 months. Meanwhile, I have been out a few times with this other girl, though I don't like her as much as the first girl( which I don't understand because they are both cute ).

Anyway, I am in the process of setting up a group of friends to go do "laser tag" and want to invite both girls to come along.

1st girl would be a "friend", 2nd girl would be my "date", plus another girl and a few guys in the group.

But anyway, I'm not sure if I can pull this off successfully. It reminds me of that scene in the jazz club in SpiderMan3 when Peter Parker flaunts the other girl in front of MJ, LOL!

My main misgiving is that I don't want to unintentionally hurt the 2nd girl's feelings and ruin a good thing by trying to make the 1st girl jealous( if she likes me in the first place ).

With your old lady: it is not fair to string her along if you are not really into her, just to get back at the ex.

Now, I should probably take my own advice...:trouble:

 

[jacob]

the older lady is really into me I don't want to hurt her but she gives me emotional comfort to move forward and I'm hoping she takes the ex out of my heart. although I still want her back, I just want to know what I can do now to get the upper hand in this situation I feel I lost her chasing me because she's not as jealous anymore because she seen the pic of this lady I'm dating. So how can I make her jealous again and chase me?

 

[MacAvoy]

Now that you've messed up, you have to accept that there is a 90% chance that she is gone. However your only hope is to go back to my original advice.

If you really love her, you need to start banging other women and forget about her. When she does call, don't get into small talk, ask her the point of the call. If she says just to talk or whatever, say your busy and don't have time.

Force her to ask you out. If she doesn't then keep brushing her off until she does. Just get out there and actually start dating so that she's actually jealous and your not just pretending.

Be a man, be the prize, the only way you can be the prize is if you can be out there.

However, don't date ugly women. Why lower your standards. You've screwed things up and there is a good chance that you'll never get her back. You need to accept that. The only chance in hell you have is making yourself the prize. The only way your going to do that is if you actually move on and start dating other women. You can't pretend to do so. You actually have to do it. Its your only hope, there is no working your magic back into her heart, trust us, thousands of us have tried and failed, thats why we've come here and thats why all the experienced guys are telling you this.

You have to have trust in us, if you don't then you will learn the hard way with a broken heart, being AFC. You know you were AFC with her and look where it got you. Do you want more of the same?

 

[jacob]

I love you guys, I don't know what I would do without the support of this online community, thank you brothers. I think she's still jealous though just got comment and text on myspace from her, some kind of friend poem with a picture rose, I'm not sure if I should respond to it or post it, thinking maybe I shouldn't to be more of a challenge now, I think she's testing to see if I respond. is it a good Idea to respond to the message and post it or don't do anything, no contact, until she actually comes banging on my door crying?

 

[MacAvoy]

With regards to the Myspace comment and txt, I repeat my comments and SunnyD's from above, that you chose to ignore and now your debating what to do again????

Give NO REACTION. Repeat that in your head a zillion times, because that's what she's after. If you do reply, say "well who said I wanted you back??? I'm having too much fun being single, so should you." That will throw her dumb little game for a loop.

This is so true. Its classic women behaviour after a break up. Cut contact completely, don't answer her calls, don't reply to her txts. She's going to call you immature for ignoring her but its all a ploy to get you to respond.

Whatever you do, don't do it.

She sucked you in last time, are you going to let her do it again?

I'll also repeat my advice from the first page becuase it still applies:

.... When she does call, don't get into small talk, ask her the point of the call. If she says just to talk or whatever, say your busy and don't have time.

Force her to ask you out. If she doesn't then keep brushing her off until she does.

 

[KontrollerX]

Please for the love of god listen to Macavoy Jacob.

If you feel you can't trust the advice of one poster on here just know you can usually trust the consensus and I and SunnyD have Mac's back on this.

This chick clearly still needs to get over you since she is trying hard to box you in as her friend a place no guy that is sexually attracted to a woman wants to be.

Do not react to anything that she does from this point on unless she's saying what you want to hear such as lets meet up and fvck Jacob, I want to get back together with you Jacob, I'm sorry Jacob lets meet up and fvck, Jacob will you meet me at so and so secluded area?

See unless she is saying something worthwhile and interesting like that don't take the bait.

And you are right that she is still jealous because your gut instinct feeling has told you this and that gut instinct feeling never lies. Always listen to it.

This jealousy of hers is continued need to get over you.

Listen to Macavoy and she won't be able to do that or at least to do that very easily.

 

[SunnyD]

I love you guys, I don't know what I would do without the support of this online community, thank you brothers. I think she's still jealous though just got comment and text on myspace from her, some kind of friend poem with a picture rose, I'm not sure if I should respond to it or post it, thinking maybe I shouldn't to be more of a challenge now, I think she's testing to see if I respond. is it a good Idea to respond to the message and post it or don't do anything, no contact, until she actually comes banging on my door crying?

Are you seriously STILL asking if you should respond????

Ok jacob, think of it this way ok:

When she answered your questions about you being her man or whatever and she said no, either:

a) She meant it...so move on! Go out and meet other girls and forget this girl. Don't waste your time because nothing will change her mind. IF she does change her mind, it will be when you have moved on. SO MOVE ON. Don't pretend to, actually do it.

b) She didn't mean it. She still cares, she is jealous, she is trying to get a reaction. She will tell you about other guys for the sole purpose of getting to you...because she still cares. Great right??? Good to know she still wants you? Yes. BUT, the second you give over your power (too late, you already have)...she will be bored and think that was too easy. She'll be gone. Make her work for it. You don't have to be an ass, but be BUSY. Be INDIFFERENT. She will wonder what the hell happened. Where is all this attention you were giving her??? Oh no, he gave up on playing my game and moved on, he really doesn't care anymore...oh noooo....What is he doing? Did he meet someone else??? Is it too late?? I better get him back.

In either case, the answer is simple.

 

[jacob]

SunnyD or anyone else ok so I tried to ignore her the moment I got on myspace she was already online I guess probably waiting for me to get on after work. She noticed I was online so she instant messaged me (unusual) she put a . then said she got it for a day, I did what yall suggested and ignored her she put k bye then I logged of without responding. I logged back in about an hour later and then she started instant messaging me again. it was some cool emoticon like serenading, I love you, wanna be my sex slave kind of emoticons so I engaged her in conversation it went good for about an hour but toward the end she put emoticons of sex and I told her to come over and be my sex slave, well with the new emoticons, we were conversing back and forth with it, then she said she had to go. Was this a bad move on my part or was it alright. SunnyD you said I should make her work for my attention but I couldn't resist it seemed like a good communication but I'm wondering if like you said she finds it to easy and finds me no challenge at all. what now coaches I'm a student right now and I don't wanna blow this I need guidance.

 

[KontrollerX]

Ugh.

She's playing games with you now trying to see if you still desire her.

She may be satisfied at this point that you still want her so she'll never contact you again or she may still be feeling insecure and want to play with you a bit more.

None of that.

No more hour long talks with her over a goddamned messenger system.

Next time she tries that bullsh!t if she does respond back...

"Actions not words, you know where I live."

Then ignore her the rest of the night. The rest of all time in fact. Anything short of her coming to your house and fvcking your brains out is absolutely unacceptable at this point.

 

[jacob]

KontrollerX you sound correct but I feel she wants me to make a move and visit her and chase her or shall I say be persistent then she'll give in but at the same time I know your right on the money, I can't bring myself to just ignore her from here on out or I'll risk being totally forgotten. So I'm thinking I'll ignore her for 3 days even if we both notice each other online I just won't engage her for the next 3 days even if she tries to initiate something but like I said it seemed like a good horny conversation we had. I don't know maybe just a "hello, yeah gotta go bye" kinda thing like real quick then brush her off if she decides to text me again I really feel like keeping a connection with her sh*t I'm confused and turning AFC, it's hard to ignore her if she's finally reaching out, what am I suppose to say " enough, if you wanna chat come over and talk to me in person." then just cease contact again? I remember the last time I gave her an ultimatum it back fired miserably. dude I hate these games, but since yall play well I'm all ears.

 

[WesCottII]

KontrollerX you sound correct but I feel she wants me to make a move and visit her and chase her or shall I say be persistent then she'll give in but at the same time I know your right on the money, I can't bring myself to just ignore her from here on out or I'll risk being totally forgotten. So I'm thinking I'll ignore her for 3 days even if we both notice each other online I just won't engage her for the next 3 days even if she tries to initiate something but like I said it seemed like a good horny conversation we had. I don't know maybe just a "hello, yeah gotta go bye" kinda thing like real quick then brush her off if she decides to text me again I really feel like keeping a connection with her sh*t I'm confused and turning AFC, it's hard to ignore her if she's finally reaching out, what am I suppose to say " enough, if you wanna chat come over and talk to me in person." then just cease contact again? I remember the last time I gave her an ultimatum it back fired miserably. dude I hate these games, but since yall play well I'm all ears.

You know what we're saying is on the money, you just don't want to do it because you want instant gratification.

This would stop if you had OPTIONS. I think you honestly need to step back from this sh*t storm and think what YOU want. The only reason I think you want this bird back is because she's a "habit", break the habit. Men don't depend on them.

You wouldn't need to/have any desire to play her games, if you had lots of other women to call upon.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I remember the last time I gave her an ultimatum it back fired miserably."

How so?

Knowing how the previous ultimatum failed will help us help you figure out a way to beat this chick ie what you may of did wrong.

I sense that maybe you tried something like I suggested with her before but she pretended to ignore you or forget about you for a long period of time and you then thought to yourself oh gee I fvcked up but really she was just playing her game feeling that she would draw you back in to show your desire for her by contacting her and she probably turned out to be right.

To win a game with a chick you stop playing her bullsh!t games.

Thats why plate spinning ie other options are the strongest weapons in a man's arsenal.

A man with options is so busy with the other women in his life he's not thinking about the week or two that the games player is sitting around her house pretending to ignore him.

A man with options isn't waiting by the phone or computer screen stressing with the question of will she contact me again or oh there she is online I wonder if she'll say something no instead a man with options is thinking hmmm I wonder if the hottie that I'm fvcking tonight will be wearing the edible cherry red panties? lmao.

 

[jacob]

just got up, read responses, she's not online as she usually is, I think she did get her satisfaction of me giving her some attention last night now she's bored again. The older lady I'm with right now is my only hope at the moment to win this but everytime I imagine kissing her I want to vomit really alot of my friends seen her pic and they don't think she's as ugly as I make her out to be, but I'm suffering from oneitis even watching porn don't turn me on like the ex does. I need to go out and meet other hot chics but last night when I went to Borders I couldn't bring myself to approach any babe although I could when I was with the ex, my confidence level flew out the window, I keep thinking I should just go over to the ex's working place and bring her lunch then get on my knees cry and beg her to suck my ****. :moon: please fellows if you know of any girls give them my number, yo SunnyD wanna have a drink with me let me practice my game on you, woman I need to build my confidence but right now this biatch and the old hag is just making wanna commit suicide.

 

[MacAvoy]

I keep thinking I should just go over to the ex's working place and bring her lunch then get on my knees cry and beg her to suck my ****

You might as well do this because you failed to take our advice. Didn't I say above not to engage in any converstion with her unless she asks you out. Don't ever repsond to any online/messenger comments. freak, why bother wasting my breathe.

Just go and do what you said above. At least that way, you'll ruin any chance of having a future with her. Right now she's playing you perfectly, she's got you on the side, feeding her emotionally and she doesn't even have to see you.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah jacob I guess you have to do what you want to do and not listen to any of us.

Sometimes experience is the best teacher.

When your way fails (and it will) remember it well.

Then the next time around with a new chick remember our advice and put it into practice to avoid this happening again.