"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Troubled

Joe's Head

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So this girl and I have some history. We had a very short stint in 8th grade and it wasn't much, but the feelings have lingered on both sides, although she has had other boyfriends since then. We're now sophmores. She broke up with her boyfriend in the past few weeks and she's over him, and she's been showing signs of interest in me. Things like "do me" and "make me happy". And I want her so I've been responding by saying "any time you want it" and other things. We've hung out in the past two weekends and I could definitely feel something between us and I've applied all the C+F (although I haven't done much kino) that should be used.

In the last two days, something's been up though. What was there seems semi-gone. I'm not gonna lie, we have been talking quite a lot on AIM some nights. Maybe 1 and a half to 2 hours, but on and off of course. The conversation is friendly, but it's not friend-to-friend talk. I've inserted sexual stuff and so has she, and a bunch of those conversations have ended with stuff like her saying, "Goodnight darling/baby" and me obliging with "Later babe" and the like. And I asked her to go to the movies and hang out today and she said yeah, but she ended up blowing it off to go over some other guy's house with her friend and for family game night with her family (OK, I guess that's excusable), and she didn't even tell me, a friend of hers did. She's also called me dude a few times recently (which I know is a no-no from guys to girls, don't know about the other way around). She's also hanging out with some guy she describes as "this boy I love" and her other friends tomorrow. She only uses that phrase "this boy" when she's talking about someone she's attracted to most of the time.

Am I just reading too much into this? Or is it over? It's hard to explain the conditions to other people but it seems wavery at this point. I'm not one to accept defeat but should I give up on this? Can attraction be lost literally in around 2 days, even if it was so strong before that?
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LikRetsam

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Attraction doesn't disappear. Interest does. Make a move and see how she responds; work your way from there. Don't act bothered by her comments about other guys too. You have way too many chicks in your agenda to even begin to think about wether she has a guy or not.
 

Joe's Head

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Attraction doesn't disappear. Interest does.
That's a good point, and you're absolutely right. What move should I make though to get her interest back? If it's been lost. And should I confront her about the movie thing too, or leave that be?
 

The Real Ice Man

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Nothing that happens in 8th grade counts. Sorry.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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