"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Troubled

Joe's Head

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So this girl and I have some history. We had a very short stint in 8th grade and it wasn't much, but the feelings have lingered on both sides, although she has had other boyfriends since then. We're now sophmores. She broke up with her boyfriend in the past few weeks and she's over him, and she's been showing signs of interest in me. Things like "do me" and "make me happy". And I want her so I've been responding by saying "any time you want it" and other things. We've hung out in the past two weekends and I could definitely feel something between us and I've applied all the C+F (although I haven't done much kino) that should be used.

In the last two days, something's been up though. What was there seems semi-gone. I'm not gonna lie, we have been talking quite a lot on AIM some nights. Maybe 1 and a half to 2 hours, but on and off of course. The conversation is friendly, but it's not friend-to-friend talk. I've inserted sexual stuff and so has she, and a bunch of those conversations have ended with stuff like her saying, "Goodnight darling/baby" and me obliging with "Later babe" and the like. And I asked her to go to the movies and hang out today and she said yeah, but she ended up blowing it off to go over some other guy's house with her friend and for family game night with her family (OK, I guess that's excusable), and she didn't even tell me, a friend of hers did. She's also called me dude a few times recently (which I know is a no-no from guys to girls, don't know about the other way around). She's also hanging out with some guy she describes as "this boy I love" and her other friends tomorrow. She only uses that phrase "this boy" when she's talking about someone she's attracted to most of the time.

Am I just reading too much into this? Or is it over? It's hard to explain the conditions to other people but it seems wavery at this point. I'm not one to accept defeat but should I give up on this? Can attraction be lost literally in around 2 days, even if it was so strong before that?
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LikRetsam

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Attraction doesn't disappear. Interest does. Make a move and see how she responds; work your way from there. Don't act bothered by her comments about other guys too. You have way too many chicks in your agenda to even begin to think about wether she has a guy or not.
 

Joe's Head

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Attraction doesn't disappear. Interest does.
That's a good point, and you're absolutely right. What move should I make though to get her interest back? If it's been lost. And should I confront her about the movie thing too, or leave that be?
 

The Real Ice Man

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Nothing that happens in 8th grade counts. Sorry.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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