Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Zimmerman is hispanic. If he was black, I don't think the media would be pushing this story as much as they have been. This isn't a white vs. black issue to me, but clearly there is still a long way to go in regard to racial harmony between everybody.Espi said:I feel angry that Zimmerman was never even arrested.
It's clear to me that a lot of white people still fear black men. It wasn't enough for us to move away from the cities. We have our drab cookie cutter suburban existence, and it's clear to me that too many whites still want to exclude blacks.
If Trevon were white, I don't think Zimmerman would have ever bothered confronting the young man.
if he's never put on trial for murder, there will likely be riots, and I don't blame blacks for doing so. They're angry as hell that racism is still being upheld within the legal aspects of American society.
Sad.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I don't fear black mean. I fear thugs. If I pull up to a gas station with my family, and there are some thugs loitering, either I drive away or my hand is on my pistol. Sorry, I've been in that situation a time or two.Espi said:It's clear to me that a lot of white people still fear black men.
In my opinion, I'd rather live in a somewhat safe neighborhood and deal with HOA or PTA drama than have to routinely go to the gas stations I mentioned above.Espi said:It wasn't enough for us to move away from the cities. We have our drab cookie cutter suburban existence
Maybe some, but the problem is that good people want to exclude CRIME. If you look like a criminal/thug/etc., you will get treated like one. It's very simple. I don't know who made the dress code, but I do know the dress code. If you embody the stereotype, reality says it'll be reflected on you.Espi said:it's clear to me that too many whites still want to exclude blacks.
I would say that almost half (if not more) of hispanics in Florida are white. Gloria Estefan is white (pure Spanish). Her husband is pure Lebanese. Both are Cubans. Ricky Martin is white. Charlie Sheen is Hispanic. Andy Garcia is a white hispanic. There are even white Mexicans! Hispanic in Florida looks a lot different than Hispanic in Texas or California. Most of the Cubans who left when Castro took over were white (Spanish, Lebanese, Jews). What you see in Texas and California are Aztecs mixed with some Spanish blood. However, go into Mexico and you see lots of whites, Jews, Lebanese. Mitt Romney is very Mexican!Upside said:Zimmerman is hispanic. If he was black, I don't think the media would be pushing this story as much as they have been. This isn't a white vs. black issue to me, but clearly there is still a long way to go in regard to racial harmony between everybody.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You're letting your feelings get in the way. There isn't some racist conspiracy going on here; there is a "stand your ground" law. In my city, there was a gang shooting and the killer got off because the dead guys pulled first. You see, he was in fear for his life so the shooting was justified. I don't believe there is a law against neighborhood watch following a suspicious teenager. There is, however, a law against physically attacking someone - I believe it's a felony. The kid should have used words instead of fists, but no, he wanted to play the gangster. I'm not saying that Zimmerman is completely innocent, just that the kid was partially to blame.Espi said:Those black kids were immediately arrested and later imprisoned. Same thing SHOULD have happened to Zimmerman. He's literally gotten away with murder. He should have been arrested and then placed in a cell to await a trial by jury.
And it's NOT a citizen's responsibility to "know what they're dealing with." The 911 dispatcher instructed Zimmerman to back off, but Zimmerman chose to play cop and pursue.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Since when is a 17 yr old kid walking home wearing shorts and a hoodie a thug? A hoodie he was wearing in the rain. A hoodie which is a garment worn by all types of people.Who Dares Win said:The guy exagerated but lets not hide the fact that a man doesnt like disturbing elements or thug look a like running around our property of family.
It's not a matter of skin color as speeddawg said, its simply that if you show yourself as a certain way people will accept what you are showing and act accordingly.
I bet a white blond guy covered in tatoos with iron hanging from his ears and nose wouldnt be treated so differently just like the darkest guy dressed in shorts and t-shirt jogging with an mp3 reader wouldnt be disturbed at all.
Of course media force the racism frame, racism never fail to create the indignation right-thinkers crave or mobilize intellectuals bored in their living rooms.
Zimmerman is half white and half hispanic. Get your facts straight.Upside said:Zimmerman is hispanic. If he was black, I don't think the media would be pushing this story as much as they have been. This isn't a white vs. black issue to me, but clearly there is still a long way to go in regard to racial harmony between everybody.
This.BigJimbo said:I would say that almost half (if not more) of hispanics in Florida are white. Gloria Estefan is white (pure Spanish). Her husband is pure Lebanese. Both are Cubans. Ricky Martin is white. Charlie Sheen is Hispanic. Andy Garcia is a white hispanic. There are even white Mexicans! Hispanic in Florida looks a lot different than Hispanic in Texas or California. Most of the Cubans who left when Castro took over were white (Spanish, Lebanese, Jews). What you see in Texas and California are Aztecs mixed with some Spanish blood. However, go into Mexico and you see lots of whites, Jews, Lebanese. Mitt Romney is very Mexican!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RzEgTr1RMko#t=24s
Mexican Romneys. White as they come. As Mexican as they come. Mexican people in Mexico understand this. If you were born in Mexico and raised in Mexico and live in Mexico you are Mexican. Regardless of what you look like.
Problem is that NONE of you have the money or the ability to travel. Wake up!
And isnt Trayvon Martin allowed to stand his ground when someone is stalking him and later accosts him?TyTe`EyEz said:You're letting your feelings get in the way. There isn't some racist conspiracy going on here; there is a "stand your ground" law. In my city, there was a gang shooting and the killer got off because the dead guys pulled first. You see, he was in fear for his life so the shooting was justified. I don't believe there is a law against neighborhood watch following a suspicious teenager. There is, however, a law against physically attacking someone - I believe it's a felony. The kid should have used words instead of fists, but no, he wanted to play the gangster. I'm not saying that Zimmerman is completely innocent, just that the kid was partially to blame.
Thank you mr jaylan and now the jury be prepared to listen at the defence.Jaylan said:Since when is a 17 yr old kid walking home wearing shorts and a hoodie a thug? A hoodie he was wearing in the rain. A hoodie which is a garment worn by all types of people.
Zimmerman profiled Martin. Plain and simple. The kid wasnt dressed like a thug the night he was killed.
uhmm, are people from Spain not white? What race do you say Pau Gasol is?Upside said:Zimmerman is hispanic. If he was black, I don't think the media would be pushing this story as much as they have been. This isn't a white vs. black issue to me, but clearly there is still a long way to go in regard to racial harmony between everybody.
Of course he could defend himself. The problem is that the kid allegedly escaped the guy only to later attack him from behind. Judging from the huge gash on the back of the guy's head, I'm inclined to believe him. Once that happened, the kid became the aggressor. Zimmerman should have used better judgement, but the shooting seems to have been in self-defense, which means he's not a murderer. And I was under the impression that the guy was arrested and later released.jaylan said:And isnt Trayvon Martin allowed to stand his ground when someone is stalking him and later accosts him?
Look up the developing story on the killing of Kenneth Chamberlain if you do think racist conspiracies can happen with cases such as this one.
"I'm not a racist, but...."speed dawg said:- Martin shouldn't have been in a nicer neighborhood looking suspicious. Sorry, but that's not a racial issue. If you look like a thug, you'll get treated like a thug. Had he been dressed in a suit, I highly doubt anyone would have said a word to him.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.