"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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loonyjuice

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When I talk to my subject, sometimes, I'll ask her how she's feeling, and she'll often reply, "Oh, i've got a headache." I'm not sure what this means or why she's saying it. Most of the time she comes to me to tell me this, it's not like I'm annoying her.

She also comes out with "I'm bored, I want to do something fun", so I reply such as what would you like to do. She'll then usually reply, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe sit on the beach watching all the hunky men, in the carribean." Or "Sit drinking coffee, in a cafe, in Sorento". i.e. usually some exotic holiday destination.

Can anyone help me sort out what she's expecting me to say to these?

Thanks in anticipation.

L.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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She wants sympathy, attention, and someone to entertain her! Give her neither sympathy or attention and tell her the best you can do is take her to 'Dunkin Donuts' instead of Sorento.

Tell this ho that there are mostly skinny men in the carribean!
 

Tails

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her: i'm bored!
you: read a book.
 

DJmonster

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"headache" is your que to give her a neck massage. Don't ask her, just do it. Or, you can bust on her first - Tell her she sure does whine a lot! (with a smile - then give her a massage to make sure she knows you're messing with her) She'll love it.
 

Cremasta

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Originally posted by loonyjuice
She also comes out with "I'm bored, I want to do something fun
You only get bored if you are BORING!

If she tells you she wants to do something fun, then go do something fun. But don't sit there and talk about what you might want to do. Go do something you will both enjoy. Two bonuses here: 1 - You will be doing something fun, 2 - she will see you as a 'take charge' guy, this is a good thing to encourage.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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