Advice from the old lady:
Firstly, its wonderful to see
@Atom Smasher contributing his wisdom again...
Secondly CJ, Atom is utterly correct about several things, some he has said expressly, others he has implied.
He has expressly said "Its about how a woman FEELS about you". That is true. How do we elicit emotions in others? We connect with them as individuals.
Now. How does one build that connection?
That is the million dollar question.
Looks is not the answer. Looks is an ingredient in a more complex recipe, speaking metaphorically.
The second answer which Atom gave expressly is masculine energy.
Masculine energy drives/creates the vibe which drives attraction. It literally creates attraction. It creates a polarity that charges the interaction between people. It builds rapport. Some men have that masculine energy more innately than others. Think of Bill Clinton. I never have seen him as a physically attractive specimen of a man, but women are drawn to him. Women were also drawn to Henry Kissinger who was not a handsome man whatsoever. Obviously both Clinton and Kissinger were powerful men, but they both exuded charm and were charismatic.
It is not looks based. Looks are just the packaging. The masculine essence itself does not exist as visibly observable....but it is felt by others.
And, men who embrace that masculine essence or energy are attractive to women.
Women who embrace their feminine essence are similarly magnetic to men. Ever seen a woman you found alluring but couldn't pick out exactly why? There are many pretty women around, but not all pretty women are sexy. Why is that?
Here is what is implied in Atom's responses:
Internal (self) validation.
Without this people are constantly seeking external validation, which is the constant comparison of self to others, and the constant sense of not measuring up, and people try to fill that need for validation with myriad things: vices, pleasure, possessions, money, trophies, etc., etc., etc. It is, in short, the devil's work.
Internal validation is a sense of being fine with who you are, inside and outside. It is calming/soothing to self, and it changes the energetic footprint you leave in the world.
So how does one go from external to internal validation?
You must be willing to drop beliefs that hold you back, such as "Only looksmaxximg matters!" Not true. Not even a little bit. But if you imprison yourself in that belief, well then you are bound by that belief and your life will be subject to that reality you created; that limit you shackeled yourself to.
Step one is complete self acceptance for either a man or a woman. Self acceptance is an acknowledgement of objective reality with a big dose of calmness. It is letting go of envy, letting go of comparing yourself to others altogether, just sitting with who you are and dropping all the chatter about others.
Step two is then taking an inventory of yourself in as objective way as you can. What about you could be different or better? For your benefit irrespective of others....Would losing 40 pounds create better health? Would a new haircut or some new clothes feel good to obtain for yourself? Would pursuing a creative endeavor enrich your life?
The focus moves from impressing others and/or suppressing yourself to not caring what others think and expressing yourself. To embracing and loving yourself. When you love yourself you exude a lovable energy everywhere you go. THAT is very attractive.
And has nothing to do with looks or appearance.
Ever wonder how/why I have been able to remain here despite various personal insults/attacks/mischaracterizations and so forth that I get subjected to around here from time to time?
I am internally validated.
Food for thought gentlemen, food for thought.