"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top tier guys

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
Status people have access to other status people. You can be hotter than Callum Turner, he could be a 7 and you could a 9, still, you're a nobody, Dua Lipa might compliment you and move on. For her Callum Turner is a real good catch and vice versa, Dua Lipa is a great catch for Callum Turner.

High level celebs.

It's beyond looks there, it's status, and obviously money, which don't automatically equate to status.
dude - dreaming.
Dua Lipa like has more money and status than Callum Turner . He’s not a 7/10 :rolleyes:LMAO
he’s Top Tier guy in Looks bro. LOOKS.
He’s a 9-10/10.
For all purposes he’s a 10/10 for the mass consensus of women.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

sevbucmash

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
1,065
Reaction score
545
Age
42
She might have a stash of his under wear photos from the days he was modelling, she might have infatuated him as a girl, you never know,.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,652
Reaction score
6,600
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
@Atom Smasher

Oh I see it now.

"do you mean connecting and investing in her mind first? Before expecting her to invest in your c0ck?"

Apologies I meant no offense...i was actually reiterating a quote another well-respected member made awhile back. Which I and several others agreed with and I have never forgotten.



It was a general statement, not related to you personally.
Yes, I know it wasn’t related to me personally. No worries. You might remember from my years as a mod here that I always used to say that this place is toxic for women because it makes women become too much like us. They start using our cruder phrases and develop our way of thinking and expression, and this is not a healthy thing. Call me old-fashioned but I bristle at crude language coming from women. I think this is true of most men, although the societal sample represented here may have a higher concentration of men who don’t mind.
 

Sega Genesis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2024
Messages
1,032
Reaction score
796
@Atom Smasher I don't disagree and don't use such language IRL (except with my boyfriend during private moments when warranted ;)) I am actually quite reserved, well mannered and soft-spoken if you knew me..

I also don't disagree that in some ways this forum is a bit toxic for me while at the same time I have learned a lot from the men here too (and other female member).

I am pretty solid internally with who I am (I wasn't always but am now) and thankfully it doesn't negatively impact my way of thinking and/or living my life including relationships.

It's all good, appreciate your thoughts!
 
Last edited:

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
Unfortunately, I don't disagree with this. But it is certainly not the advice I gravitated towards as a blue pill guy fresh out of a nasty divorce and it most definitely is not what I have preached to other guys either going through that same struggle I was or who just wanted to know the best way to get laid here over the years. I think we can all agree that getting a good physique helps and that is why you go to the gym. Also, having $$ of course helps. No one has ever denied those things and "getting into the gym and getting your career going/improving it" is good, not bad, advice. We have had posters, many in fact, over the years who are hyper-fixated on looks and money and even some who go as far to say it is "all" that matters. Wrong.

To think that is "all" it comes down to when it comes to attracting women is missing half (maybe more) of the picture. If you think swag is completely irrelevant when it comes to picking up women you are dead wrong. And it isn't some cheap PUA tactic. It comes from confidence and knowing how to handle human beings with your charisma (not only women). That is what forges connections -- romantic and otherwise.

CJ, like other black pill posters before him, is seemingly missing this point.
not a chance it is 50% of the pie buddy .
Not a snowballs chance in hell.
Way off mate.
 

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
Dude come on now... really? I wouldn't go for him but hey if YOU would more power to ya man.. lol :rofl: :p

View attachment 15960
It’s hard to gauge his height and physical frame there. It’s not a great picture.
And he didn’t pull her w his status and money elements as she has more than him.
He is still Top Tier.
I mean. He HAS to be ? He moved up and into her Top Tier circle. I guess theyd have bonded over showbiz etc but his looks would have been paramount. She’s super high value and would have been picky AF.

btw he has a Richard Gere type face / eyes.
And you know Richard Gere is up there 10/10
in terms of sex appeal. Gimme a break :rolleyes:

In fact I’d argue that type of face is the most sought after tbh. 100%
My Natural friend , slayer/pvssy magnet guy had the same face. Richard Gere / Harrison Ford ratios and eyes also.

IMG_2078.jpeg
IMG_2077.jpeg IMG_2079.jpeg
yknow . Basically “Chad-faced” aka Top Tier .
It’s inarguable guys , you’re coping so hard here.
 
Last edited:

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
She might have a stash of his under wear photos from the days he was modelling, she might have infatuated him as a girl, you never know,.
hahaha. Not sure if I detect sarcasm.
As you’re proving my point he’s a 10/10.
So you’re on team . Thanks for the props brother :)
 

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
I am not trying to argue, and if this is your opinion, that’s fine. But if you acknowledge that money and status can compensate for looks, why are you so fixated on looksmaxxing while overlooking other ways men can become socially desirable?

Like the saying goes, all roads lead to Rome.


Would you then say that OP is wrong about the forum, when most of the advice here already agrees with what he is saying? lol
because .. going the road of money and status is the much ,much HARDER road. To change those buckets of value with enough significance to move the needle.
It only compensates when there is a LOT of it.
And that’s the Long Term strategy anyway.

And then if I were to attract a woman that way - the relationship is more of a trade ?
Her looks for my money and status value.
It’s a glorified prostitution arrangement basically.

And in that light it’s less effort and less expenditure to use an actual good looking prostitute.
There is minimal attraction her side either way there. But I wouldn’t lose 50% of my hard earned money in the divorce .

so you see all roads do NOT lead to Rome.

so this EverythingMaxxing approach is a stupid strategy.

when it’s mostly 80-90% a guys Looks that gets attraction and gets him laid. OBVIOUSLY.
So just apply most of the effort to LM strategies.
 
Last edited:

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
You've made several posts about looks, personality, and rating people - most of which were within the last week.

Is there a point you're trying to achieve?
I’ve already explained it in the thread. In various replies. Such as this one to Atom Smasher

its a debate mate.

There’s a lot of bullsh1t thrown around about how much ‘game’ is a factor in getting women and how much improvement a guy needs to do - in ALL areas to get women.

Atom smasher -it’s about how a guy makes a woman FEEL, not so much his looks. (He states he discovered this in his 50s btw :rolleyes:)

Barrister says behavioural game and ‘charisma is half the causation of getting women ,the 50% alongside Looks.

and others will say it’s every dimension of a guy goes into the causation. He must EverythingMaxx and keep improving until ‘Excellence’ is achieved (?)

I’m saying it’s for the majority % it’s Looks - about 80-90% and a guys behavioural game or his approach ,conversation, rapport skills. personality and Charisma is the most minimal remaining factor.
It may as well be rounded up to 100% of Looks. only.

And you BPH would be a perfect example of that.
You just leverage your Looks, and have low key ‘normal’ conversations ( aka ‘fluff talk’), have drinks , both parties get tipsy and then escalate , bounce and close.

Your game is Looksmaxxing.
Not money maxxing.
Not working on 25 dimensions of personality.
Not mad rapport building.
Not making a woman FEEL xyz.
And not 50% of something else of mad charisma and mad social connecting skills doing the lifting alongside looks.


Cos that’s just reality and the way it is.

So you’re in my camp now.
Hi five buddy! :D:cool:

and the other point is Callum Turner is a Top Tier Looking guy. Not a 7/10 as a few members here believe.

Dudes underrate other dudes Looks.
And overrate their own.
So the gap looks narrower and they can cope that it’s personality and charisma that is the swing factor, and they can perhaps pull a similar calibre of women someday. Which aint true.

so those 2 points tie together obvs.
 
Last edited:

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,919
Reaction score
3,030
Location
Wilmington, DE
I’ve already explained it in the thread. In various replies. Such as this one to Atom Smasher

its a debate mate.

There’s a lot of bullsh1t thrown around about how much ‘game’ is a factor in getting women and how much improvement a guy needs to do - in ALL areas to get women.

Atom smasher -it’s about how a guy makes a woman FEEL, not so much his looks.

Barrister says game is half the causation of getting women 50%

and others will say it’s every dimension of a guy. He must EverythingMaxx.

I’m saying it’s for the majority % , Looks - about 80-90% and a guys behavioural game or his approach ,conversation, rapport skills and personality is the most minimal remaining factor.
It may as well be rounded up to 100% of Looks. only.

And you BPH would be a perfect example of that.
You just leverage your Looks, and have low key ‘normal’ conversations ( aka ‘fluff talk’), have drinks , both parties get tipsy and then close.

Your game is Looksmaxxing.
Not money maxxing.
Not working on 25 dimensions of personality.
Not mad rapport building.
Not making a woman FEEL xyz.
And not 50% of something else doing the lifting.

Cos that’s just reality.
So you’re in my camp . Hi five buddy! :D
I don't agree with you on this one, but I'm going to see the girl from my LR, so I'll have to write out a detailed response later.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,429
Reaction score
7,962
Age
57
Advice from the old lady:

Firstly, its wonderful to see @Atom Smasher contributing his wisdom again...

Secondly CJ, Atom is utterly correct about several things, some he has said expressly, others he has implied.

He has expressly said "Its about how a woman FEELS about you". That is true. How do we elicit emotions in others? We connect with them as individuals.

Now. How does one build that connection?

That is the million dollar question.

Looks is not the answer. Looks is an ingredient in a more complex recipe, speaking metaphorically.

The second answer which Atom gave expressly is masculine energy.

Masculine energy drives/creates the vibe which drives attraction. It literally creates attraction. It creates a polarity that charges the interaction between people. It builds rapport. Some men have that masculine energy more innately than others. Think of Bill Clinton. I never have seen him as a physically attractive specimen of a man, but women are drawn to him. Women were also drawn to Henry Kissinger who was not a handsome man whatsoever. Obviously both Clinton and Kissinger were powerful men, but they both exuded charm and were charismatic.

It is not looks based. Looks are just the packaging. The masculine essence itself does not exist as visibly observable....but it is felt by others.

And, men who embrace that masculine essence or energy are attractive to women.

Women who embrace their feminine essence are similarly magnetic to men. Ever seen a woman you found alluring but couldn't pick out exactly why? There are many pretty women around, but not all pretty women are sexy. Why is that?

Here is what is implied in Atom's responses:

Internal (self) validation.

Without this people are constantly seeking external validation, which is the constant comparison of self to others, and the constant sense of not measuring up, and people try to fill that need for validation with myriad things: vices, pleasure, possessions, money, trophies, etc., etc., etc. It is, in short, the devil's work.

Internal validation is a sense of being fine with who you are, inside and outside. It is calming/soothing to self, and it changes the energetic footprint you leave in the world.

So how does one go from external to internal validation?

You must be willing to drop beliefs that hold you back, such as "Only looksmaxximg matters!" Not true. Not even a little bit. But if you imprison yourself in that belief, well then you are bound by that belief and your life will be subject to that reality you created; that limit you shackeled yourself to.

Step one is complete self acceptance for either a man or a woman. Self acceptance is an acknowledgement of objective reality with a big dose of calmness. It is letting go of envy, letting go of comparing yourself to others altogether, just sitting with who you are and dropping all the chatter about others.

Step two is then taking an inventory of yourself in as objective way as you can. What about you could be different or better? For your benefit irrespective of others....Would losing 40 pounds create better health? Would a new haircut or some new clothes feel good to obtain for yourself? Would pursuing a creative endeavor enrich your life?

The focus moves from impressing others and/or suppressing yourself to not caring what others think and expressing yourself. To embracing and loving yourself. When you love yourself you exude a lovable energy everywhere you go. THAT is very attractive.

And has nothing to do with looks or appearance.

Ever wonder how/why I have been able to remain here despite various personal insults/attacks/mischaracterizations and so forth that I get subjected to around here from time to time?

I am internally validated.

Food for thought gentlemen, food for thought.
 
Last edited:

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
931
Reaction score
426
Age
42
He has expressly said "Its about how a woman FEELS about you". That is true. How do we elicit emotions in others? We connect with them as individuals.
.
This is all nonsense.
It’s firstly how she FEELS when she sees a man who is her Looks type. A man that has SEX APPEAL to her . the FEELINGS of the sparks of attraction and excitement to this guy in her body.
After this , a new FILTER will drop down across her brain. And like a PRISM will morph everything he says and does as being ATTRACTIVE to her (of course) his conversation becomes ‘charming’ his behaviour ‘so suave’ his remarks ‘ so funny’ his body language ‘so sexy’ etc etc .

This is Mother Nature in action.
Because this is all a perfect evolutionary mechanism to ensure the survival and propagation of the species .

And it cannot be tricked with “rapport skills’ or whatever elements of ‘game’. Unfortunately.
If a guy doesn’t pass the first screen and get physical attraction with his sex appeal , hes dead. Toast. Do not proceed , do not pass Go.

note the key words- SEX APPEAL.
This all happens before he utters his first words , so it’s not his personality . At all.
 
Last edited:
Top