"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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too soon to be official??

falconslax89

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so i have been talking to this girl for about 3 weeks. it is clear she wants to be in a relationship already and even though i do as well, i have avoided letting her label us to not show desire and let her gain the upper hand. do you guys think im doing the right thing or should i just go for it since she is the one that always brings it up even though its early?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tesl

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If you both want it to be official then just become official - I don't see any point in "getting the upper hand" by delaying it - whatever that is even supposed to mean.
 

sandman6991

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I agree with Tesl. If she has made it clear that she wants a relationship, and that's also what you want...then there's no use in putting it off. I've lost girls in the past by screwing around too long and not "striking while the iron is hot."
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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amoka

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Did you just say you've been "talking" to her for three weeks? You need to change that to "fvcking" her for three weeks.

That being said, let her be doing the thinking of being "exclusive" with you. It is not your job.
 

bukowski_merit

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It is too soon. Your feelings of wanting to be exclusive to her are pretty normal, but give yourself some time to learn more about this woman.

What you should be doing right now is not worrying about being a couple. You should be:

1) Fvcking her and making sure you enjoy her in a compatibility kind of way.
2) Setting some boundaries for what you accept from women and then BEING CONGRUENT.
3) Enjoying your time with her and embracing the chemical rush that comes with that.
4) Letting her push for exclusivity and you DECIDING if you want it or not (the only harm that could come from turning her down is she would probably start some jealousy plots.)
 

falconslax89

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bukowski_merit said:
It is too soon. Your feelings of wanting to be exclusive to her are pretty normal, but give yourself some time to learn more about this woman.

What you should be doing right now is not worrying about being a couple. You should be:

1) Fvcking her and making sure you enjoy her in a compatibility kind of way.
2) Setting some boundaries for what you accept from women and then BEING CONGRUENT.
3) Enjoying your time with her and embracing the chemical rush that comes with that.
4) Letting her push for exclusivity and you DECIDING if you want it or not (the only harm that could come from turning her down is she would probably start some jealousy plots.)
thanks man good advice! i have been ****ing her quite a bit. this is pretty much what ive been doing and will continue to do until i know for sure what i want.
 
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