"There were a number of measures the West took to have most men able to get a home, wife, and kids if they wanted to do so. Not all, but most"
The Industrial Revolution definitely made it possible for millions of men to achieve a level prosperity which had previously been accessible to all except the aristocracy and landed gentry. This wasn't the result of a benevolent cabal in Washington, London, or/and Berlin deciding "We need to make the lives of men easier, out of the goodness of their hearts"
Actually, most humans have more female ancestors than male
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dna-human-gene-pool In other words, a large segment of the male population WAS NOT able to mate in earlier centuries
"But sure, not every man got those and some died incel"
As the evidence demonstrates, it was more than just a few
"There were also actual communities, institutions, and social scenes that made it easy for men to get women"
Unless a fella is living in the wilds of Alaska, or deep in the hurt of. The Amazon Jungle, here in The 21st Century he's living in a community replete with more food, clothes, books, entertainment, and yes women than at anytime in history. Yeah, there are currently some policies which obstruct many citizens(especially men)from gaining the proficiencies necessary for them to climb the socioeconomic ladder, and it's wise to pursue the amendment or abolishing of these policies, but this is a separate conversation from the one we're having now
"None of my uncles or grandfathers struggled or had to become some dumb bullsh-t to find mates"
Yeah, our ancestors either married the gal they went to prom with or acquiesced to marriages which had been arranged by someone other than themselves. Can't help but suspect that a world where we're free to pursue the women we desire, or choose not to pursue at all, is much more desirable, for all it's occasional hassles