Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

too much abundance right now

firstbornunicorn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
810
Reaction score
723
Age
31
Just officially got into a relationship with the bf/gf labels thing. But there are so many chicks hitting me up all the ****in time, and any time I go out I get at least 2 or 3 that wanna jump on me, and they're not bad, hb7+

How do I focus on this one chick? She's amazing in many ways, beautiful, smart, and we align politically very well which is super duper rare for an early twenties girl in college. We start having future plans together like holidays and stuff. I've been single for 3 years now so this wasn't something I had to think about.

Shall I just use this time to wingman and hook my friends up?
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,122
Reaction score
1,299
Just officially got into a relationship with the bf/gf labels thing. But there are so many chicks hitting me up all the ****in time, and any time I go out I get at least 2 or 3 that wanna jump on me, and they're not bad, hb7+

How do I focus on this one chick? She's amazing in many ways, beautiful, smart, and we align politically very well which is super duper rare for an early twenties girl in college. We start having future plans together like holidays and stuff. I've been single for 3 years now so this wasn't something I had to think about.

Shall I just use this time to wingman and hook my friends up?
Continue to see other women for now and maybe you will see the flaws of this women. Don't rush into a relationship with her
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,210
Age
37
OP,

Reading between the lines it sounds like you have one foot in the door and the other out. Why are you even bothering entering what you expect to be an LTR if you feel this way? If you want to smash multiple women, entering into a relationship is just going to frustrate you and in turn sabotage said relationship. Making the entire exercise pointless since neither one of you will be happy.

My advice - tell your LTR that you aren't ready for commitment if you truly feel this way. You can still be in a relationship and have an "abundance" mindset (and you, in fact, should). But this is different than being in a relationship and feeling the pull to fvck around.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,663
Reaction score
8,554
Age
46
Get numbers and line them up in case the new gf doesnt work out. That way you can monkey branch from her to a rotation in no time.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,647
Reaction score
4,023
Do you honestly see yourself marrying this girl? If yes, do your best not to cheat. If you are not gonna marry her, you shouldnt be missing out on hot pu$$y
 

firstbornunicorn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
810
Reaction score
723
Age
31
OP,

Reading between the lines it sounds like you have one foot in the door and the other out. Why are you even bothering entering what you expect to be an LTR if you feel this way? If you want to smash multiple women, entering into a relationship is just going to frustrate you and in turn sabotage said relationship. Making the entire exercise pointless since neither one of you will be happy.

My advice - tell your LTR that you aren't ready for commitment if you truly feel this way. You can still be in a relationship and have an "abundance" mindset (and you, in fact, should). But this is different than being in a relationship and feeling the pull to fvck around.
I'm honestly in love and she ticks every box, how many attractive 23 year olds cook these days?

Don't feel the urge to **** around per se, but I got used to relationships being transient and wrapping my head around how to care knowing it will end eventually. She's going on exchange in August for 4 months. I have my doubts it will last past that, but curious to see how it goes. She didn't want a relationship, but turns out we're a much better match than any of us could anticipate.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,210
Age
37
I'm honestly in love and she ticks every box, how many attractive 23 year olds cook these days?

Don't feel the urge to **** around per se, but I got used to relationships being transient and wrapping my head around how to care knowing it will end eventually. She's going on exchange in August for 4 months. I have my doubts it will last past that, but curious to see how it goes. She didn't want a relationship, but turns out we're a much better match than any of us could anticipate.
Your pair bonding may have become somewhat affected if you have been banging a lot of different women. It's inevitable. We focus a lot on women getting their pair bonding burned out on this forum, but it cuts both ways for either gender that sleeps with a lot of different people. You may be in that position at this point. If you truly love this woman then perhaps you can overcome it anyway.
 

firstbornunicorn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
810
Reaction score
723
Age
31
Your pair bonding may have become somewhat affected if you have been banging a lot of different women. It's inevitable. We focus a lot on women getting their pair bonding burned out on this forum, but it cuts both ways for either gender that sleeps with a lot of different people. You may be in that position at this point. If you truly love this woman then perhaps you can overcome it anyway.
It was a fear of mine and I reached the point where I started losing count and forgetting names/people all together. Not great but willing to give it a go.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,144
Reaction score
3,475
It depends, is it a white girl or a black girl?
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,210
Age
37
There's a huge different between "pair-bonding" if you're a man or a woman.

A woman requires her man to be experienced. Unsaid directly, but this means that she wants her man to be sexually experienced.

A man (unless he's deranged) does not preference experienced women over virgins.

Saying things like "it cuts both ways for either gender" is extremely wrong and leads guys to try and seek familiarity and same-ness with women. Men and Women experience life completely differently.

For a woman, her first sexual experience has earth-shattering significance for her. All proceeding experiences diminish. This is because she's become r-selected (maximum semen from maximum partners), rather than k-selected (life long pair bonding) - women are capable of both, depending on the type of society men build for them.
Most women that are virgins suck a$$ in bed. I could care less whether a woman is a virgin. So I guess that makes me “deranged” to use your term lol. Now I certainly don’t want her to have had a mile of d1ck through her - but the whole virginity thing is overrated.

Yeah I never said it was the exact same for both genders. What I did say was that it cuts both ways and it does. You making a bald assertion that it’s wrong doesn’t make it so. If you live your life pounding anything you can your ability to pair bond diminishes. The fact that you don’t care for LTR’s is very significant here and is why you’re saying what you are.

Lastly, a woman losing her virginity is an “earth shattering experience” for her in that moment. But if you think that impacts her sexuality for the rest of her life I’m surprised. Most women aren’t going to dwell on Jonny taking their virginity after the high school dance 10 years after. Or some guy from SoSuave for that matter.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,647
Reaction score
4,023
A) I could care less whether a woman is a virgin. B)the whole virginity thing is overrated.
A) I respect that, to each his own.

B) For you! I loved taking v-cards but at my age, those days are probably gone.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,183
Reaction score
3,850
Naturally, there could be other variables, but two major ones come to mind.
1. You are in a relationship and you are putting out a certain vibe (also known as 'non-thirst') which women find attractive.
2. If any of these women know that you're in a relationship, it's wanting what they can't have, the challenge and/or female competitiveness.

Be careful.

In my 20's, I prematurely jumped ship in a relationship or two; thinking that I had an oasis of women waiting for me to be single. I found out the hard way that this wasn't the case (see above of examples 1 & 2 that I wasn't aware of at that time) .
 

TitusRamsies

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2013
Messages
23
Reaction score
43
Location
Outer space
I'm honestly in love and she ticks every box, how many attractive 23 year olds cook these days?

Don't feel the urge to **** around per se, but I got used to relationships being transient and wrapping my head around how to care knowing it will end eventually. She's going on exchange in August for 4 months. I have my doubts it will last past that, but curious to see how it goes. She didn't want a relationship, but turns out we're a much better match than any of us could anticipate.
She's going to get a bunch of foreign cawk bro. Just tell her you to want to see how things go, remain non-committal. Play the bf role without the exclusivity and see how it goes.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,210
Age
37
That's fine, but your views are very woke and unorthodox.

Men of history know that you can train your virgin to be your own personal slvt, if you desire that.
Women aren't born "got in bed" - they are trained.
Lol - Brother, there is very little “woke” about me. But whatever you say.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,838
Age
50
Just officially got into a relationship with the bf/gf labels thing. But there are so many chicks hitting me up all the ****in time, and any time I go out I get at least 2 or 3 that wanna jump on me, and they're not bad, hb7+

How do I focus on this one chick? She's amazing in many ways, beautiful, smart, and we align politically very well which is super duper rare for an early twenties girl in college. We start having future plans together like holidays and stuff. I've been single for 3 years now so this wasn't something I had to think about.

Shall I just use this time to wingman and hook my friends up?
FOMO is one of those things you have to endure when you move out of the passing lane. I like the Highway metaphor. When you are driving through and always on the road you admire places along the road. but as soon as you stop you admire the freedom of the folks driving by. Are you at your Destination? Or just a stop along the highway?
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,773
Reaction score
8,755
Age
34
Keep the girlfriend until she leaves. You have to imprint on her.

Leave the other girls alone for now. You can re-engage with them when your girl leaves. Just tell them you have a girlfriend and will honor your commitment to her.

As for messing around on your girlfriend, I am a advocate for the 100 mile rule. Don’t cheat unless you are out of town on a work trip or something. A bang isn’t worth losing your girls trust and her reputation. (Your cheating is mostly just a huge embarrassment for your girl among her friends. Girls are deranged like that)
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,664
Reaction score
6,531
Age
55
Advice from the old lady:

Wanted to comment on several things in this thread.

1. Promiscuous behavior absolutely screws up bonding ability in men. It also creates a FOMO illusion. Sure for awhile a playboy can get laid ad nauseum but by whom? Demanding insecure crazy chicks that become clingy and psycho? Yeah after awhile any playboy with a shred of humanity will get tired of that. It becomes meaningless. Pursuing that path further a man becomes Nihilistic. Exhibit A: @Pan87 (no offense intended my dear)…as it strips him of virtually all his bonding ability and leaves him empty. He can slay all the pvssy in the world and come up with a gnawing emptiness that conquest does not satisfy. His humanity and human needs are bereft and left wanting.

Not a good place to end up.

As to the points made by @oldmanofthesea and @Barrister….

1. Men who are very sexually experienced themselves are not going to be compatible in many instances with a virgin or inexperienced woman. It takes tremendous patience, kindness and reassurance to teach an inexperienced woman how to be great in bed. It can be a frustrating process. How much simpler to choose a woman who is already up to speed who you can enjoy from the start. A woman with sexual confidence and knowledge. Many very promiscuous men also strip out emotional depth. A virgin requires the emotional depth to give her the reassurance that she is loved, that the sexual union is emotionally fulfilling (and reassuring). For a seriously promiscuous man this requires the patience of Job and a reconnection to his own emotion as well as the recusing himself from other available pvssy. That boys is a tall order. Not impossible but difficult.

2. Truly committed men do give out the not thirsty vibe and women do want what is forbidden. So. If OP continues to place himself in tempting environments then chances are high he will succumb to some vixen he cares nothing about and lose his quality girlfriend. It takes extraordinary character not to partake of pvssy offered up on a platter.

Obviously OP is flattered and validated externally by the attention. Who doesn’t enjoy being desirable? I know I do.

But.

The greater reward is in saying no and staying loyal to your relationship (exhibiting solid character in the face of temptation) and knowing you are doing right by your partner. This is very difficult to do in the modern dating landscape without character. I assure you that a quality 23 year old woman who is smart and beautiful gets hit on All. The. Time. I do to this day. In my 50s.

Guess what the first thing is that I say to men who hit on me? I tell them I am taken. Very taken. Then I chat about my BF. I am loyal. I have strong character. Guess what then happens? My BF hears from others about my loyalty, how he is the first thing I mention when I get approached. As a result he trusts me.

Can your girlfriend trust you to be loyal no matter how sexy the chick hitting you up? Even if you could get away with deceiving her? Does it give you a sense of pride to be loyal?

Character my friend is what you are made of when nobody is looking. Same goes for her.

Give that a think.

Cheers
 
Top