"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Too late to approach?

bennymd

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Since there is a 3 second rule, is it too late to approach if you go way past that? What if you were getting IOI's?

Problem is, I'm talking weeks past. I guess I'm still recovering from a break-up (long term relationship), but I want to get back into dating now. I've noticed I've been getting a lot of IOI's from a few cute girls at the gym. I sometimes catch their glances and I notice they'll frequently come near me. One girl always manages to subtly hop on the elliptical next to mine when I start my workout.

It's weird though, I definitely feel this tension but it seems strange to try to bust out with some opener after all this time. It's like if I wanted to approach them, why didn't I do it a month ago and wait all this time? I'm guessing I should just chalk it up to lesson learned, and to try to approach faster in these situations next time. Besides, I feel like there's been so much expectation built up my anxiety would be through the roof.

But I'm interested in hearing if anyone else has been in this situation before and successfully opened anyway? Or if anyone else has some advice? Thx.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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rocky_mtn

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No, the 3 second rule is a technique not to chicken out. I think the 3s rule is misunderstood. Its from the moment you actually decide to make your approach, you have 3 seconds to follow through so that you don't chicken out. It may take minutes or hours to scope out a joint, make your rounds, make eye contact, see who is single and who isn't.

When the moment is ripe to approach then use the 3 second rule, but it can take some time to get setup for the right target.
 

bennymd

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Thanks, I get that point. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned the whole 3 second thing I was just referring to it. Any advice on the specific situation?
 

Bay area pimp

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You might want to make sure your balls are still attached. It's never too late. Just dont put it off any longer :up:
 

Krang!

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Blah - the rules are guidelines to get you into the right mindset, the right attitude - not absolute truths. Way more worth than reading the bible over and over again is to go out and gain some experience with your newfound knowledge. A well analyzed C&B is worth gold!

Now on your specific situation, I can't see the problem. Sounds like a great oppurtunity to say "Hi" next time... seeing that you guys have seen each other around alot it would be a natural thing to do eh? Take it from there and remember to have fun! :up:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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