Crazy.... I still have dreams... and flashbacks... memories pop up... etc cuz I still live in the same area... ex left ... but I stayed very local (couple blocks away) to be close to my kids... then 1yr after we separated my kids were asking to move in with me and that home just wasn't same without me there. .... and they didn't like how soon new guy came into picture (2 months and he stayed for an entire month on his first visit) ... my kids were 15 and 21 at the time... once the kids moved in with me... she moved to other side of Canada to live with new guy where he lived.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
To reach out.... or not.
- Thread starter Epimanes
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She's trash already. Take up boxing. No need to compete or spar if you don't want to get hit, and there is ALWAYS something you can be doing to improve your strength/conditioning, skills or technique. The mountain ranges in the Pac NW are unbelievable and BC should be the same so you can bag some peaks like I did in my four years there. After the descent, go grab a craft beer or two with your buds. These, I've deemed to be worthy endeavors and beats holding on to too much mental poisons within. Set a focus on attaining new goals small, medium, large and short-term, mid-term and long-term. Keep moving forward, no side-stepping.
Oh ... for sure. I don't get to choose not to have the flashbacks etc... they just happen. But I'm far happier in my life than when I was with her.... I remember the good days but I also remember how terrible the bad days were too. I'm a hunter and so I get out there with my kids more often now that I don't have a wife that says no... or whatever. The new GF likes hunting too so that's a bonus..... I have also been takin up downhill mountain biking with my son.. he kicks my azz but it's still fun and great exercise.... life goes on! I'm not stopping here.
DEEZEDBRAH
Master Don Juan
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Mystery once suggested when ever you contemplate should I or shouldn't I you always should. it's for the reference. in this predicament the best option is getting over her b6 getting under a hotter younger girl.
Oh I am not going back.... and it does take two to tango... at times I was a fkn prick..... unpredictable... I definitely contributed to our downfall.. but I was not the final nail in the coffin.... that's on her...
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
CAPSLOCK BANDIT
Master Don Juan
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I think this one is gonna be out of most of our wheel houses here, therapy would probably be a good start