Tip request: When she starts turning up the heat on commitment.

[BedSwerver]

Fellow men,

I want to keep spinning this new girl. Without boring you with her details, she is a solid 7 with a fine body (I typically keep a load of 5-6's around which I'm getting sort of annoyed with and would love to bump up my averages). I'd like to keep the 7 as one of my plates. The problem is she is starting to turn up the heat on me committing to her (and because she currently is my hottest prospect I fear I'll start doing lame things like giving into her, etc).

She took to second date which was set up by texting "Do you want to come cuddle with me?" then followed up with "I don't typically do this" [I'm sure she never said that before and I must be the one right? lol] Anyways, what do you guys typically do when a girl starts saying, "What is this anyways?" "Where are going with all this?" "I am looking for a long term thing" etc. Keep in mind for me she is the hottest piece I am looking at right now! And I KNOW this is where my anxiety is/will build on losing her. Don't get me wrong, I'll shut her down with no problem, but man, that @ss is something I'd like to keep looking at ....hopefully you guys see the dilemma......

Any advice would be most appreciated.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I recall having an 'after-cigarette' with a gal ... and she asked "what is this between us" and I responded "an ashtray." And then I quickly changed the subject. True story. She was between a 6 and a 7 and I really wasn't invested in her at all.

When you start getting into higher hanging fruit, this can be a bit more tricky. Because you can develop some investment toward her, the tables can turn against you.

I'm not really an advocate of psychological games, but since you asked here's my suggestion:
When she least expects it, do something out of the blue nice for her. Do not do this if she thinks she's starting to gain any power. You do this only on the moment that you hold the power. And when she least expects it, you shift gears and demonstrate your independence. My advice isn't anything new. It's commonly known as "push/pull."

By doing this, you've created an interest and also the illusion of "wanting what you can't have." There's a reason that soap operas appeal to women. It's because they enjoy the 'roller coaster' feeling of their emotions. The moment she becomes more smug, the more pressure and ultimatums you will experience.

Providing her a feeling of uneasiness will likely reduce your troubles, but you have to calibrate properly. Going too extreme either way will backfire. Be moderate.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Fellow men,

I want to keep spinning this new girl. Without boring you with her details, she is a solid 7 with a fine body (I typically keep a load of 5-6's around which I'm getting sort of annoyed with and would love to bump up my averages). I'd like to keep the 7 as one of my plates. The problem is she is starting to turn up the heat on me committing to her (and because she currently is my hottest prospect I fear I'll start doing lame things like giving into her, etc).

She took to second date which was set up by texting "Do you want to come cuddle with me?" then followed up with "I don't typically do this" [I'm sure she never said that before and I must be the one right? lol] Anyways, what do you guys typically do when a girl starts saying, "What is this anyways?" "Where are going with all this?" "I am looking for a long term thing" etc. Keep in mind for me she is the hottest piece I am looking at right now! And I KNOW this is where my anxiety is/will build on losing her. Don't get me wrong, I'll shut her down with no problem, but man, that @ss is something I'd like to keep looking at ....hopefully you guys see the dilemma......

Any advice would be most appreciated.

Be honest and direct with her.

Her: What are we? I'm looking for something serious.

You: I'm not.


don't say another word. let the silence remain until she says something else.

Ain't nothin wrong with being direct with the ladies.

OP, I'm going to bump a thread by Desdinova, titled She Walked Out. Check it out.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Fellow men,

I want to keep spinning this new girl. Without boring you with her details, she is a solid 7 with a fine body (I typically keep a load of 5-6's around which I'm getting sort of annoyed with and would love to bump up my averages). I'd like to keep the 7 as one of my plates. The problem is she is starting to turn up the heat on me committing to her (and because she currently is my hottest prospect I fear I'll start doing lame things like giving into her, etc).

She took to second date which was set up by texting "Do you want to come cuddle with me?" then followed up with "I don't typically do this" [I'm sure she never said that before and I must be the one right? lol] Anyways, what do you guys typically do when a girl starts saying, "What is this anyways?" "Where are going with all this?" "I am looking for a long term thing" etc. Keep in mind for me she is the hottest piece I am looking at right now! And I KNOW this is where my anxiety is/will build on losing her. Don't get me wrong, I'll shut her down with no problem, but man, that @ss is something I'd like to keep looking at ....hopefully you guys see the dilemma......

Any advice would be most appreciated.

Don't commit unless that is something you truly want and understand. With that, keep your answers vague or like the CDC and Fauci, you don't understand the question (I'm-old-and-forgot-where-you-live type of deal) being asked aka play dumb.

The key is to keep her chasing you if she wants you to commit. You, of course, won't commit but will give her enough attention to keep her addicted to your presence. Do not let her get comfortable or thinking she has you in the bag. Make sure she realizes you can and will walk away at your will, not hers.

Last but not least, enjoy while it lasts. It will not last forever, but you already know this.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Robert28]

I wouldn’t know, lately I usually get dumped or ghosted before it gets to the “what are we” stage.

 

[BedSwerver]

Do not let her get comfortable or thinking she has you in the bag. Make sure she realizes you can and will walk away at your will, not hers.

Last but not least, enjoy while it lasts. It will not last forever, but you already know this.


Modern Man Advice

Awesome, Thank you!

 

[BedSwerver]

I wouldn’t know, lately I usually get dumped or ghosted before it gets to the “what are we” stage.

haha, that doesn't have to be a bad thing; more hunting opportunities.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Bedswerver,Never say No on a question like this....No it is far better to equivocate..."Yes I feel the same way too but (Here Insert a reason)...I want to finish a degree.I am saving out for a house,flat that matches my aspirations for a new Bride...Think of something,but a flat refusal is an ultimatum!

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

i'd just say " yeah we're moving in that direction but im not at that point yet.

 

[Epimanes]

When you dump them.... they cry and say shyt like ... "but I thought we had something!?"..... the obvious reply is.... "yeah.. we did.... we had sex"

 

[BedSwerver]

i'd just say " yeah we're moving in that direction but im not at that point yet.

That’s a good one. I’m logging it for later use

 

[bat soup]

Pretend you don't have any money.

 

[SetinStone22]

If a chick asks where things are going or what is this, Ask her why she got her running shoes on --then tell shorty she movin too fast and to just vibe, enjoy the moment.

you could also reverse psychology ... tell her you aint good for her, tht ull end up hurting her feeligns and all that-- but at the end of the day that sht only works if u have somethin u can control her with/have her hooked onto so she keeps coming back-- for me its sex, my #1 area of confidence and i use it wisely

the reverse psychology sht is funny because no woman wants to be told that she cant have u, itll only make her want u more. women do this same sht a lot. "i dont want to be in a relationship, i just want to be friends" but then they'll try to treat u like you're their man, suck ur **** all the time, please u in variety of ways, buy you gifts.. they play the game jus like we do... want their cake and eat it too

 

[Zimbabwe]

Be honest and direct with her.

Her: What are we? I'm looking for something serious.

You: I'm not.


don't say another word. let the silence remain until she says something else.

Ain't nothin wrong with being direct with the ladies.

OP, I'm going to bump a thread by Desdinova, titled She Walked Out. Check it out.

How about this

"I'm looking for something serious with the right woman"

It covers all bases and it isn't a lie at all.

 

[Snag87]

I wouldn’t know, lately I usually get dumped or ghosted before it gets to the “what are we” stage.

Ha same. The one girl who wanted something long term I just kept making excuse after excuse until she gave up and found a relationship with some other guy.

 

[Robert28]

Ha same. The one girl who wanted something long term I just kept making excuse after excuse until she gave up and found a relationship with some other guy.

Don’t feel bad. It won’t last more than a couple months at most. I’m noticing that the women they have been dumping me are still single. So that tells me they ain’t happy and they sure didn’t upgrade to anyone better than me.

 

[BadBoy89]

what do you guys typically do when a girl starts saying, "What is this anyways?" "Where are going with all this?" "I am looking for a long term thing" etc.

Come on bro, you are 40+ years old asking this question?

I had a woman ask me that question a quite a while ago, I (tried) to rip her to shreds.

 

[BedSwerver]

Come on bro, you are 40+ years old asking this question?

I had a woman ask me that question a quite a while ago, I (tried) to rip her to shreds.

I think the take away is perspective. Different guys would handle it differently is the assumption from me. I’m sure you’re elite and get anything you desire that’s why you logged into the so suave forum. What I suggest to you is offer something constructive. I’m not sure crafting an incoherent sentence saying rip her to shreds is giving any advice.

 

[BadBoy89]

I think the take away is perspective. Different guys would handle it differently is the assumption from me. I’m sure you’re elite and get anything you desire that’s why you logged into the so suave forum. What I suggest to you is offer something constructive. I’m not sure crafting an incoherent sentence saying rip her to shreds is giving any advice.

It’s not about being elite or getting anything you desire. It’s about if a woman can make a man’s head spin at 40, real life would chew him up and spit him out.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If she isn't financially committed to you, she's not serious, if she has no finances to commit with, she has no ability to be loyal.