You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This is interesting. I should really do more day game.tihash said:Stats since i started the re-numbering in 9/2009:
Cold Approaches: 118
Phone Numbers: 35
Email Addresses: 3
Dates: 12 (only count once even if multiple dates same girl)
BJs: 1 (do not count if got BJ and lay, only count as lay)
Lays: 7 (only count once, even if she is a repeat customer)
Whatever happened to this girl??tihash said:At Home Goods I see a very cute girl looking intently at throw rugs. I meander through the close-by artwork area, and we lock eyes once for a moment. I am trying to think of how to open a girl looking at throw rugs, and of course draw a blank in the heat of the moment. Plus a herd of non-English speaking people flow into her aisle and it just looks nearly impossible.
Lucky for me she had a nice prop.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
awesome!tihash said:First, #117 never emailed. Big surprise.
Second, after 3 dates and a combined 10 hours and $50 spent, with the last date involving a parking lot make out and my hand up her skirt on her ass, #101 flaked. No returned calls, no returned texts, totally flaked. Biotch.
Third, banged #104 tonight. Yay. It took 4 dates! Grrrr...
So....
Stats since i started the re-numbering in 9/2009:
Cold Approaches: 118
Phone Numbers: 35
Email Addresses: 3
Dates: 12 (only count once even if multiple dates same girl)
BJs: 1 (do not count if got BJ and lay, only count as lay)
Lays: 7 (only count once, even if she is a repeat customer)
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.