"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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"this" or "that"

S

Saine

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HUH!

Dude... dude this question made me cry, seriously. :mad: :(

If I **** my best friend, will I still be able to keep my girl I have my oneitis for?
If so, **** my best friend! I want the girl! And yes, my best friend is the one to give me all the *******!

:) or :(

Lol.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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MVPlaya

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Originally posted by Saine
HUH!

Dude... dude this question made me cry, seriously. :mad: :(

If I **** my best friend, will I still be able to keep my girl I have my oneitis for?
If so, **** my best friend! I want the girl! And yes, my best friend is the one to give me all the *******!

:) or :(

Lol.
Click to expand...
F__ your best-friend and you still have a shot
Let him F___ her and you have heartbreak...

So, once again:

Have your male best-friend ƒuck a girl you have major oneitis for (and then have her fall for him)
- or -
ƒuck your bestfriend (and have a window of opportunity?
 
S

Saine

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Already answered that, I said **** my best friend. Read what I said.

Now answer mine, the smiley or the sadey.
 
M

MVPlaya

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Originally posted by Saine
Already answered that, I said **** my best friend. Read what I said.

Now answer mine, the smiley or the sadey.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry, I don't follow, please explain...
 
H

hardwork

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Don't worry about it: it wasn't a very good one.

Originally posted by MVPlaya
I'm sorry, I don't follow, please explain...
Click to expand...
:) or :(



:) for me.


Papercut on your eyeball? or have your nipples smashed on a brick by a hammer?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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seloifter

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Re: Don't worry about it: it wasn't a very good one.

Originally posted by Von Neuen
:) or :(



:) for me.


Papercut on your eyeball? or have your nipples smashed on a brick by a hammer?
Click to expand...
OWWWWWW! I'd go with the nipples smashed.... omg makes my singe to think about papercut on eyeball....

ok...

Girl with super super fine body (10), but ugly face (like 3-4) - or girl with really gorgeous face (10 if you can imagine it) but real unshapely body (4-5)?
 
S

Saine

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Superfine body and not so good face.

Extremely tight pants that you could barely move around in or
baggy as hell pants that you might even trip if you dare run.
 
B

B9

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baggy pants. Haven't read this threa dso will assume the following haven't been asked:

Sex with sister or French kissing your mother.

EDIT: but of course it has! I underestimate you people. Right, try this one instead.

getting a bl0wjob by your mother

or

Sucking c0ck on your dad.
 
S

Saine

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Get my **** sucked by my mother, I hated her.

Randomly choosing any official losers of this forum and have you suck his **** or drill a hole in a tree and have you **** that hole.
 
M

MVPlaya

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ƒuck that tree in front of 50 people

Undergo sex-change surgery (genitals and facial restructuring through hormones)
. - OR -
Lose sight and hearing
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PiHiPlaya

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lose sight and hearing, no more annoying chicks to listen to or ugs to look at... besides, you can always feel hottie's bodies!


Eat Dog crap

or

drink cat pee
 
M

MVPlaya

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drink cat pee

Eat a girl's ass (full on rimjob)
- OR -
Suck a guy's c0ck

(Neither has good hygiene)
 
I

Intense

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lmao :D

Give a girl a rim job!

Would you rather have a penis that is 1.5 inches at full erection or a huge 14 inch **** that is thicker than a cucumber?
 
A

Aztec

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Inch and a half d ick. I'm all ready having trouble with my zuchini-thick dong.


Eat someone else's shi t or shallow someone else's phlegm?
 
M

MVPlaya

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Yum yum! :) I'd eat both! If you would force me to stick to just one though... I guess I'd have to settle for just the fecal matter.

Be Bill Gates or Be Don Juan DeMarco?

(DJD being alive today of course)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Intense

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Is that a rhetorical question?! DJD!

Would you rather be the ugliest guy in the world but be the ULTIMATE Don Juan or be the hottest guy in the world and be the worlds biggest AFC???
 
M

MVPlaya

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hottest, i wnt to do politics and ugly people just don't cut it... no matter their social tact. DJism could be learned. Although "ultimate" has a very appealing ring to it.

OK, would you rather:

DIE BETRAYING YOUR COUNTRY
. . . . . - OR -
AFTER WEEKS OF SPECULATION THAT YOU'RE INTO BESTIALITY, BE FOUND DEAD IN A STABLE IMPALED BY A HORSE'S C0CK.
 
H

hardwork

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Surprisingly...

AFTER WEEKS OF SPECULATION THAT YOU'RE INTO BESTIALITY, BE FOUND DEAD IN A STABLE IMPALED BY A HORSE'S C0CK.
Click to expand...


Deep papercut on your gums (like, the gums under your front bottom teeth)? or papercut down your pee hole (like, a vertical papercut down your peehole)?

Diagram:

   |
  (|)
   |
 
N

NINJA PIMP

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Re: Re: Surprisingly...

Originally posted by GigaloDJ
haha nice diagram Von Neuen!!
i'll take the papercut in the gums.

would you rather have no balls or four balls? :D
Click to expand...
FOUR BALLS!

I would be droppin the only motherload of a money shot!

(did somebody say *******?)

Screw a 90 year old woman or a young goat?
 
M

MVPlaya

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90 year old.

Screw HB6
- OR -
Threesome with HB10 and other guy
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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