This is what makes me feel incredibly hopeless in dating

[bigdave17]

Lots of people suck in high school. It means nothing when it comes to adult life. It doesn't carry over unless you let it mindfvck you.

Look at all those ugly duckling girls who got into their 20s and all of a sudden they were smoking hot. Leave the past in the past.

I agree, hell the people who tormented me in high school encountered me again when I was 22-23 and had nothing but praise to tell me

I'm running away from ghosts that don't exist

 

[Atom Smasher]

Natural opportunity to approach - meeting women through friends or some kind of mutual social gathering, work, etc...


cold approaching at a bar when she is there with 9 friends is very difficult

You know yourself that there is absolutely nothing you can do but to overcome your fear and self-doubt. Yes, it's hard, but all things worthwhile are hard.

I used to be a fearful, hopeless wretch. If I could do it, then so can you. You need to start small.

Have you read the Book "Tiny Habits" or perhaps books about the concept of "Kaizen"? The only way a person can defeat fear systematically in chunks that are easily handled is a little tiny bit at a time.

You've conquered other fears in your life. What makes this one any different?

 

[bigdave17]

I’ve be



I’ve been there. Despite all of of my calibration, I started off as an ugly duckling. But then I became a beautiful swan. But 10000 women checking me out couldn’t solve me. They couldn’t erase my past. That’s why I empathize with you. It is not as easy as “hey man wake hell up. You are cool now.”

The only silver lining I have for you is that there is another type of guy. Like me and you. Someone who started off as ugly. And then we beCame beautiful but minus the ego. This is an ahrodiasiac for women. Most women cannot believe that I don’t act like a Chad. Confidence + humility. Don’t deny your past. Make it part of your unique personality. It is refreshing to women. Trust me, I know. A Chad who acts humble. Maybe that’s your niche.

I'm not a chad, not when graded on white European standards. In my homeland of Armenia, I would easily be considered a Chad but my ethnic facial features drop me down to maybe a 6.5 to 7.5/10

I have a weird dichotomy with women. I hate approaching and think that process is miserable but when I'm on a date and/or around a woman who is obviously attracted to me, I am very comfortable and likable and generally dominate. It's like a switch goes on in my head and I'm good to go.

just so you guys know what I'm talking about when I say I would be considered a chad back home - this is a famous Armenian movie star. This is top 0.1% of Armenian men

I'm every bit as good looking as that and maybe even more handsome






It's so sad that I'm torturing myself like this in the US. Back home, I would have been guaranteed a wife who looks like this, has no tattoos, no kids, is a good housewife, has good family values, doesn't believe in feminism, etc.... but I would be doing mediocre financially and I can't go back to living like a peasant.

 

[bigdave17]

I think


You’ve hit on something important. A Chad is not universal. I am not a Chad either. Except sometimes i am. It is a dichotomy. I am good enough. That’s the frame that will carry you through.

look at the pictures I posted. I'm easily top 0.1% or 0.01% of Armenian men but that doesn't mean much when I get graded on white European standards in the US. I become a mere 6 or 7/10 due to the natural ethnic features of my face and that means nothing on dating sites


in real life, I have to approach more with a good attitude. Nothing more I can do about it.

 

[ChillDude6767]

Women are value sensing machines.

I wouldn't give them so much credit. In theory, that's what they're supposed to do, but I have little faith in their ability to do this accurately.

Plus, even if what you're saying is true, then it wouldn't matter what he thought of himself, it would only matter what they thought of him.

 

[ChillDude6767]

look at the pictures I posted. I'm easily top 0.1% or 0.01% of Armenian men

You should just stop with all this nonsense. It means nothing. You're not top 1% of anything except being annoying.

 

[bigdave17]

I wouldn't give them so much credit. In theory, that's what they're supposed to do, but I have little faith in their ability to do this accurately.

Plus, even if what you're saying is true, then it wouldn't matter what he thought of himself, it would only matter what they thought of him.

how you think of yourself gets projected to the world on your body language and tone of voice

 

[bigdave17]

You should just stop with all this nonsense. It means nothing. You're not top 1% of anything except being annoying.

look up every Armenian male actor in the world, I'm better looking than all of them or at least comparable. Actors are generally the very very elite of society


I'm just telling you...if I never moved to US, I would have the wife I should be with who looks like this and is a fantastic housewife and mom

 

[bigdave17]

I

in boxing we call it having a punchers chance. The most masculine guys can work with this probability. It’s not ideal. But is life ever ideal?

what do you mean bro?

 

[ChillDude6767]

look up every Armenian male actor in the world, I'm better looking than all of them or at least comparable. Actors are generally the very very elite of society


I'm just telling you...if I never moved to US, I would have the wife I should be with who looks like this and is a fantastic housewife and mom

I can see there is no point in responding to your threads so I will just stop here.

 

[zekko]

I met her at a bar I always go to. I saw her for maybe 8 months - usually 1-3 times a week. We had sex all the time, it was great. She 47 - very attractive for her age and was great in the bedroom.

You were banging a 47 year old woman (and enjoyed it apparently). But now you'll reject a woman if she's 34 because she's "too old".
From the perspective of someone my age, those five years are just a blink of any eye.

Considering that you are getting absolutely nothing right now, I think you should expand your standards a little bit. If you reject a girl who is, say 31, but is otherwise what you're looking for, then Atom Smasher was right, you are way too shallow.

It's not like you're trying to be a player extraordinaire or anything, you're just trying to find a decent girlfriend, or potential mate. Although to me, that's a much harder task than just banging through a bunch of one night stands. It's one thing for a girl to bang you, it's another for her to want to keep you around.

 

[lamath]

You were banging a 47 year old woman (and enjoyed it apparently). But now you'll reject a woman if she's 34 because she's "too old".
From the perspective of someone my age, those five years are just a blink of any eye.

Considering that you are getting absolutely nothing right now, I think you should expand your standards a little bit. If you reject a girl who is, say 31, but is otherwise what you're looking for, then Atom Smasher was right, you are way too shallow.

It's not like you're trying to be a player extraordinaire or anything, you're just trying to find a decent girlfriend, or potential mate. Although to me, that's a much harder task than just banging through a bunch of one night stands. It's one thing for a girl to bang you, it's another for her to want to keep you around.

Standars is the excuse he use to rationalize not going for any women

 

[bigdave17]

You were banging a 47 year old woman (and enjoyed it apparently). But now you'll reject a woman if she's 34 because she's "too old".
From the perspective of someone my age, those five years are just a blink of any eye.

Considering that you are getting absolutely nothing right now, I think you should expand your standards a little bit. If you reject a girl who is, say 31, but is otherwise what you're looking for, then Atom Smasher was right, you are way too shallow.

It's not like you're trying to be a player extraordinaire or anything, you're just trying to find a decent girlfriend, or potential mate. Although to me, that's a much harder task than just banging through a bunch of one night stands. It's one thing for a girl to bang you, it's another for her to want to keep you around.

I would probably be okay with 31, but I don't know much beyond that. Women just don't age that well

If I'm dating a white girl, I would really prefer to stick around 24-25. If I was to date black or Indian or dark middle eastern, I might be okay with 30-32

 

[zekko]

I would probably be okay with 31, but I don't know much beyond that. Women just don't age that well

If I'm dating a white girl, I would really prefer to stick around 24-25. If I was to date black or Indian or dark middle eastern, I might be okay with 30-32

Comment #1: Shallow. Are you going to disown the mother of your children because she gets a wrinkle? If so, you deserve what you get.
Comment #2: Have you ever heard the expression beggars can't be choosers?

 

[bigdave17]

Comment #1: Shallow. Are you going to disown the mother of your children because she gets a wrinkle? If so, you deserve what you get.
Comment #2: Have you ever heard the expression beggars can't be choosers?

my taste is pretty wide dude. Lots of American guys won't even be open to a black or indian or middle eastern girl, Most American white guys are barely open to white girls and light skin Spanish girls

 

[ChillDude6767]

I want to clarify for everyone right now that Armenia has a population of 2.9 million. This is less than the population of Mississippi.

 

[zekko]

my taste is pretty wide dude. Lots of American guys won't even be open to a black or indian or middle eastern girl, Most American white guys are barely open to white girls and light skin Spanish girls

Your taste can't be very wide if you never meet any of these women you are attracted to.

 

[ChillDude6767]

I want to clarify for everyone right now that Armenia has a population of 2.9 million. This is less than the population of Mississippi.

It also has a GDP of $11.5 billion.

The State of Vermont is the U.S. State with the smallest economic output... At $32 billion.

 

[ChillDude6767]

Your taste can't be very wide if you never meet any of these women you are attracted to.

Idk...

A lot of girls out there suck pretty bad.

 

[17 shots]

You'd think someone who's balding would be more sympathetic towards a woman aging