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Sgthaytham

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Is there such a thing as being too spoilt?

We had a lovely time at the city zoo yesterday. Really great fun. She made me dinner last night, then breakfast in bed this morning.

I kind of feel like I'm not giving enough in return... idk...
 

BackInTheGame78

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Is there such a thing as being too spoilt?

We had a lovely time at the city zoo yesterday. Really great fun. She made me dinner last night, then breakfast in bed this morning.

I kind of feel like I'm not giving enough in return... idk...
Starting to feel like you are being set up for something. What I am not sure...
 

Sgthaytham

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tell me about her relationship with her father?
It's not good, and that's why my eyes are still open - as someone here mentioned I should.

He's a cheat (10 years before her mum found out).

I've heard lots of stories of how women who have no father figure or who don't have a present one behave, and I'm looking out for red flags, but there haven't been any yet

These flags could come later, of course, but she seems grounded. Really smart, witty, down to earth, and she's clearly a giver.
 

Scars

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Sounds like you're doing everything right. But we all know women will literally play "wifey" and seem like your perfect companion in the beginning until you're hooked, then they flip the switch. It sounds like you're already self aware of this though.
 

Sgthaytham

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Sounds like you're doing everything right. But we all know women will literally play "wifey" and seem like your perfect companion in the beginning until you're hooked, then they flip the switch. It sounds like you're already self aware of this though.
Yeah, I've heard about that too.

Idk if I'm doing everything right, I'm not perfect, but I'm definitely more aware of things than when I was younger.

Let's see how the next few weeks go
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Yup, beware the high-level initial love-bombing. It either means you hit pay dirt, or you’ve got a BPD on your hands. Ain’t no middle ground here.
Just proceed with some caution, and have fun. I’m hoping you’ve got a good one here.
Love bombing can also be from rebounds. They want to take all the pain away from their breakup and make it up with you. It's not always bad.
 

Sgthaytham

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Love bombing can also be from rebounds. They want to take all the pain away from their breakup and make it up with you. It's not always bad.
Her last relationship ended 8 months ago and lasted 5 (I think). I know how long rebounding can last, but it seems to be genuine so far. It's not like she's telling me sweet nothings every hour or whatever.
 

Sgthaytham

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So she's been testing me, or at least I think she has.

She sent me a random "you know, I love you" last night. Then about an hour later (I was well asleep by then) "I'm a bit drunk right now so I'll tell you. It bothers me that we don't speak for several days (2-3days)".

Now, my old self and indeed most people would say "You've got to text her daily now". But that's wrong.

She just wants me to show her I care. She wants to feel loved, that's all.

So once a week or once every week I'll call her randomly, or leave a note or a card, or something thoughtful.

I've been doing this once a month, but that's probably not enough.

I won't be texting her daily, as she initiates texting pretty often anyway.

This is just the fine line of overpursuing and being a cold fish.
 

Sgthaytham

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Things are still going great.

I've noticed she's doing a lot of the asking out lately: We were meant to go for a group outing tomorrow night (not something I'm 100% for because I would much prefer to spend quality time just with her), but that's been canceled because two people are ill. She's asked if we can go to this arcade together.

The sex is great... really up there. I can tell she's really comfortable being herself and being with me.

No red flags of note, tbh... even though many, including myself, would be weary about her dad's issues... she does come across as pretty level-headed and independent.

She's invited me over to meet her mum and siblings in late October, too.
 
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