"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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This **** is ****ing up my mindset. There is something weird about my face.

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Soprano

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lol it's not your face, it's your brain

same thing used to happen to me too, but the only person who saw it was me, nobody else....

same way with you, im sure of it.

its your mood that day effecting your self image... it's hard to knock it off but it's very possible

i used to think "its how you carry yourself" was a bs answer and it's a problem i cant change. but it's the truth....

everybody has bad days so dont worry about it

if anything in your face changes, it's probably your facial expression from how u feel
 

TheStudent

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yeah.. happened to me all the time... One day im ****ing cute.. dessing up nice ..felling good... the next i m why do i look so ugly.. and unattractive...
 

NeedToImprove

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i notice that when i dress well, go to the tanning beds and the bags under my eyes are not noticeable girls seem to give me more atention, so i dont think its 100% the mindset, the way your portray yourself counts, looking good, well dressed, a good cologne helps a lot
 

Soprano

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haha.....tanning beds.... you're kidding right
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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everywomanshero

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EWW

Tanning beds? Are you *trying* to age faster? I agree with dressing nice and getting hair styled. I strongly advise sunscreen when *forced* to endure the age-appearance excelerating process of exposure to sun.
 

Soprano

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Re: EWW

Originally posted by everywomanshero
Tanning beds? Are you *trying* to age faster? I agree with dressing nice and getting hair styled. I strongly advise sunscreen when *forced* to endure the age-appearance excelerating process of exposure to sun.
not to mention the homo factor
 

ethnomethodologist

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Well the knew guy, I really think you should go into your mommas pantie drawer and play dress up, seeing yourself in her full length mirror wearing your moms clothes can only show you how stupid your really thinking. Of course your just going to think me teasing you is stupid, and you could learn a few lessons about stupid, I can tell from all the questions you keep asking.

This thread would have been perfect if you came online and said thanks to thederreckeffect1 right away. Would have been PERFECT, you'd have DrBeard come on here, make a NICE joke, Pook would sign in, and tell you how to be a real man, fingz would come back, for the umpeenth time, and tell you to stop turning your weapons of mass seduction upon yourself. You might have been the 149th messiah of Sosuave. Dude, grow up, we're all waiting for you.
 

MetalFortress

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Originally posted by The Knew Guy
i know you guys are gonna laugh, but this **** is serious.

sometimes im good looking, sometimes im average, and sometimes im just butt ugly. and im always taking care of myself. seriously, something in my face changes and i look different.

sometimes ill go out and get hit on (girls would cold approach me in clubs), and at other times i wont so much as get a look from one girl (unless shes ugly as **** and 6 inches taller than me).

so at the time period when im ugly, how do i stop that from ****ing up my mindset?
its hard, it hurts to be so freakin ugly.

and now im sarging this girl i met online but talk to on the phone, and when we meet shes gonna expect a hot guy (cause i took them on my hot phases), and shes gonna see some ugly guy and be like WTF.

im sure most people dont have this problem. i could use some advice.
There is no period of ugliness. You get hit on on some days more than others for two reasons: you changed what you wear or how you do your hair or something, or if not, then it's luck of the draw. The pickup arena is not a videogame; it's gambling. All we can do is increase our odds of winning.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ethnomethodologist

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Originally posted by The Knew Guy
that wasnt helpful. i understand the concept of "tough love," and i completely support it, but some of us are trying to work on our inner game. something as simplistic as "ah get over it and be a man" is just not gonna help (im assuming that might be what you were trying to do). you cant just tell someone to "just go talk to random girls already" and expect him to be able to do it. some of us have ****ed up inner game. but thats why im here on this forum.................. im working on it.
Respond to me in the appropriate thread, I am all over the place, just check out my profile... The "Just go talk to random girls already" is true, but it's NOTHING what I was talking about. My face was the reason I never got girls when I was young, and I took countless medications to fight it. Nothing worked, no matter how closeley I followed the directions, I went through hell through high school, I was a miserable child, who smiled just because I was TRYING to be as nice as possible. You have no idea how many fights I have run away from, and the number of girls I have approached, and been shot down by, they all gave me the same response... *shudder and turn* they couldn't look at my face, nor my body, I was a 5' 2" pimply faced nerd. I've now changed, I've worn girls underwear, I've beared my nasty scars all over my boidy to the world, I've run down the street naked all that jazz. Sorry if I couldn't convince you I was in the same boat as you, I know what I look like when I get **** faced, it's one of the scariest things in the world, I get beet red, and it looks like my face is made of ****ing playdough, I am a horrible disgrace for man when I am drunk. I've got huge scars on my back, it's pickled with acne, all over, I am one of those grown men, with scars, and active acne.

Guess what, it doesn't stop me, so I'm serious, go to your mom's ****ing pantie drawer, or your sisters, or steal one from some girl, and put it on... than you'll know what you look like at your worst, and ever after, you shouldn't have this problem anymore.

Tough love? I don't think so, i call it the truth.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Originally posted by The Knew Guy
there are no females in this household, and even if there were, that is one of the most absurd ideas i ever heard. i still think youre being sarcastic, but you say that youre serious. i fail to see how wearing panties would solve my inner game problems.
Because you keep lying to yourself, you keep going off saying inside of your head, that you have these problems. You are also telling the world, that you have these problems by not being able to laugh about them, and that you think your problems are worse than theirs. That's inner game to me, it's all about lying to myself.

Wearing panties, it is absurd as long as you keep caring about the way you look and freaking out about it. Girls freak out about it, your supposed to be a guy, and know that it's not a problem. If you want you can go put some make up on and all that, but that is a waste of time too.

I'm not sarcastic about my problem, well, my old problem, I wash my face, and it's as under control as it needs to be, everybody just laughs at me thinking I'm not serious when I say I care anyways. "Oh me, my name used to be pizza face, they call me Jay now" " if my friends are around I point at them and say "those ****ers call me boner" I still got problems with wanting too much social proof, and than falling back onto it when the going gets tough.

Inner game really is nothing, it's just stop telling yourself you don't already know what to do. You will know about something you don't, ask somebody who looks like they don't care, and than accuse them of not knowing about it, they'll get pissed off at you. Voila, you just got your inner game problem answered.

More ranting, somebody has really got to make me stop doing this.
 
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