Thinking you'll probably get rejected vs thinking you'll definitely get rejected

[SW15]

Lastly, on the general topic of my desirability to the opposite sex, I remember posting an outfit picture on a thread this past winter where I was told I dressed like a 70 year old grandpa. My outfit today isn't as much of a grandpa outfit. Here it is (I blacked out the belt buckle to avoid potentially identifying myself):

View attachment 14472

This is not an outfit that is desirable to the opposite sex.

1. Tucking in your shirt doesn't scream sexuality. It screams boring office guy. Offices are not a sexual environment because HR Departments have tried to make office workplaces non-sexual zones.
2. Collared/polo type shirts also are not sexual. Young women are not interested in a boring collared shirt wearing guy who tucks his collared shirt into his pants.

she's also said there are things that can be done about the pregnancy risk with a younger woman.

Most neurotypical men in their early 20s to mid 40s are doing those things. They are wearing condoms and often having sex with woman who use birth control too. When a man uses a condom and a woman uses a birth control method reliably, pregnancy is not going to happen. Most younger women are using a form of birth control.

Neurotypical men solve problems this way. Many forum participants are neurotypical men who don't want to get women pregnant and are having sex with women of a fertile age (20s and early 30s).

 

[CornbreadFed]

Lastly, on the general topic of my desirability to the opposite sex, I remember posting an outfit picture on a thread this past winter where I was told I dressed like a 70 year old grandpa. My outfit today isn't as much of a grandpa outfit. Here it is (I blacked out the belt buckle to avoid potentially identifying myself):

Hell no, you are basically skippy. I’m not sugar coating anything because it sounds like you need constructive criticism.

 

[GoodMan32]

@Mike32ct I'm aware a young woman who's on the pill and I use a condom with has an extremely low chance of getting pregnant.

The problem is the pill part. I don't want to simply take her word for it that she's on the pill.

If it turns out she's lying about the pill (or simply forgets to take her pill at the right time one day), that becomes an extremely risky scenario.

On the other hand, a 45-49 year old woman has an extremely low chance across the board, whether she's on the pill or not. Using a condom with a 45-49 year old woman adds yet another layer of protection (and unlike with a 30 year old woman, it's not a crisis if a condom breaks with a 45-49 year old woman)

In a nutshell, while fvcking a young woman can be low risk (potentially even lower risk than barebacking a 45-49 year old woman) under just the right circumstances, focusing on the older crowd is less stressful (because with the older crowd, you don't have to worry about whether the circumstances are just right in terms of the pill)

Regarding skin care, I use a moisturizing cream nightly (imagine how much worse my wrinkles would be without the cream)

I'm glad you complimented my outfit.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is not an outfit that is desirable to the opposite sex.

1. Tucking in your shirt doesn't scream sexuality. It screams boring office guy. Offices are not a sexual environment because HR Departments have tried to make office workplaces non-sexual zones.
2. Collared/polo type shirts also are not sexual. Young women are not interested in a boring collared shirt wearing guy who tucks his collared shirt into his pants.



Most neurotypical men in their early 20s to mid 40s are doing those things. They are wearing condoms and often having sex with woman who use birth control too. When a man uses a condom and a woman uses a birth control method reliably, pregnancy is not going to happen. Most younger women are using a form of birth control.

Neurotypical men solve problems this way. Many forum participants are neurotypical men who don't want to get women pregnant and are having sex with women of a fertile age (20s and early 30s).

I tuck my shirt in to show off my belt buckles. My belt buckles have gotten me attention from the opposite sex. Belt buckles are who I am (in other words, I basically have no choice but to tuck). The belt buckle (which, again, purposely isn't visible in the picture) adds a badass factor.

I was wearing a polo tucked into jeans when I got an unexpected date from being some other dude's wingman. I was also wearing a polo tucked into jeans when (back in 2021) a hot 23 year old I met at a bar invited me to some sort of after-party (and gave me her number). I declined the after-party. This forum has told me to share field reports. There you go, 2 field reports of the "polo tucked into jeans" combination getting me somewhere in an interaction with the opposite sex.

The 23 year old could have been an outlier. The other woman I mentioned was 37 (I mention this because of your comment about a young woman generally not being into that type of outfit. By 37, perhaps that type of outfit isn't as much of a turnoff). I don't want a young woman anyway.

 

[Mike32ct]

I know I’m older than GM, but I’ve also gone back and forth on the untucked vs tucked for polos. After looking at both in the mirror many times, I also ended up settling on tucked to show off the belt (and highlight the belt and shoes match). That’s my go to way to wear them.

I agree that polos are conservative and not sexual. A more sexy equivalent (while maintaining three buttons) might be the Henley shirt, but that’s more of a cold weather fashion, especially for the thermal pattern ones.

A button-down shirt can look good untucked if the length is right. Or can go tucked for a more formal look.

 

[SW15]

I agree that polos are conservative and not sexual.

That's the biggest issue with that style of shirt. It's a better choice for guys who already have an existing girlfriend/wife as compared to those looking to attract new women.

When I think of a guy wearing polos, I think of a middle aged or older married guy or a clueless, recently divorced middle aged beta.

A more sexy equivalent (while maintaining three buttons) might be the Henley shirt, but that’s more of a cold weather fashion, especially for the thermal pattern ones.

That's better.

I think t-shirts are the best. I also have lived in warmer climates.

untucked vs tucked

A tucked in polo or tucked in dress shirt aren't that sexy. It's office wear.

[I'm aware a young woman who's on the pill and I use a condom with has an extremely low chance of getting pregnant.

The problem is the pill part. I don't want to simply take her word for it that she's on the pill.

If it turns out she's lying about the pill (or simply forgets to take her pill at the right time one day), that becomes an extremely risky scenario.

Caleb Jones (aka Alpha Male 2.0, Blackdragon) wrote an article about women on birth control pills in 2013.

5 Reasons You Should Never Trust Birth Control Pills - Alpha Male 2.0

I have been saying for years that if you trust birth control pills, you’re an idiot. If you’re barebacking a woman who is on birth control pills, or should I say, saying she’s on birth control pills, you’re rolling the dice with your life, your...

alphamale20.com

The bottom line is that it is more risky, but using a condom properly eliminates most of the risk.

There are plenty of men having sex with women under 40 and taking precautions. Plenty of men desire sex with attractive women who are still capable of getting pregnant.

It is a good idea for men who are not desiring children to use condoms while having sex. Neurotypical men don't seem to struggle with this concept.

 

[corrector]

I take it the guy in your profile picture is supposed to be you. If so, your looks are much better than your written descriptions have made it sound.

According to AI analysis, the reason I don't have a gf is not primiarliy on looks, but on timing, life circumstances (ie imagine if your parents were poor - with your current job -- that's my situation, plus imagine if your parents are also old and handicapped and relied on you to take care of them, also my situation), factors that are not associated with looks. The description of my looks are similar to yours (ie 4/10 Wheat Waffles). Like yourself, AI seems to be given a more favorable impression than Wheat Waffles.

If fair to say that looks aren't the primary cause I don't have a gf, but it doesn't help either. I don't have any "shooting in the barrel' experience as far as women are concerned.

 

[GoodMan32]

I know I’m older than GM, but I’ve also gone back and forth on the untucked vs tucked for polos. After looking at both in the mirror many times, I also ended up settling on tucked to show off the belt (and highlight the belt and shoes match). That’s my go to way to wear them.

I agree that polos are conservative and not sexual. A more sexy equivalent (while maintaining three buttons) might be the Henley shirt, but that’s more of a cold weather fashion, especially for the thermal pattern ones.

A button-down shirt can look good untucked if the length is right. Or can go tucked for a more formal look.

Since I know we're not supposed to be a political forum, I won't get into specific beliefs (nor will I mention specific politicians). All I will say is I'm conservative. So (in a way) a conservative appearance could be a good way to weed out politically incompatible partners (in other words, if a woman takes issue with my polo tucked into jeans, chances are she'd end up taking issue with my political beliefs anyway, even if I dressed differently).

That's the biggest issue with that style of shirt. It's a better choice for guys who already have an existing girlfriend/wife as compared to those looking to attract new women.

When I think of a guy wearing polos, I think of a middle aged or older married guy or a clueless, recently divorced middle aged beta.



That's better.

I think t-shirts are the best. I also have lived in warmer climates.



A tucked in polo or tucked in dress shirt aren't that sexy. It's office wear.



Caleb Jones (aka Alpha Male 2.0, Blackdragon) wrote an article about women on birth control pills in 2013.

5 Reasons You Should Never Trust Birth Control Pills - Alpha Male 2.0

I have been saying for years that if you trust birth control pills, you’re an idiot. If you’re barebacking a woman who is on birth control pills, or should I say, saying she’s on birth control pills, you’re rolling the dice with your life, your...

alphamale20.com

The bottom line is that it is more risky, but using a condom properly eliminates most of the risk.

There are plenty of men having sex with women under 40 and taking precautions. Plenty of men desire sex with attractive women who are still capable of getting pregnant.

It is a good idea for men who are not desiring children to use condoms while having sex. Neurotypical men don't seem to struggle with this concept.

Interesting analysis (the idea that the way I dress is a way newly divorced men might dress). At the last organized singles event I attended, one woman asked if I was a divorcee. While I don't remember what exactly I was wearing, there's a high chance I was wearing a polo tucked into jeans (that's a common weekend uniform for me in the summer). In fact, come to think of it, I believe I might have been wearing the same exact polo I have on right now (plain yellow with a small icon for the brand symbol).

Polos are extremely comfortable for me. T-shirts just aren't comfortable for me unless they have a deep v-neck (that's one reason I'm getting my chest hair permanently removed). Once the removal is 100% finished (I'm maybe 3/4 of the way through right now), perhaps I can invest in some deep v-neck tees.

As for the pregnancy/condom/birth control thing, I know you've mentioned on the forum before that you like to periodically check whether the condom is intact/still on during sex. If you don't mind doing that, have at it. For me, having to check the condom would ruin the enjoyment of sex.

Ever since my scare in 2022 where a condom slipped off with a woman around my age, I've only had sex with a woman below the age of 45 twice (in both cases, they were around my age). I used the "checking to make sure the condom is all good" strategy...and hated it. I speak from experience when I say constantly checking the condom ruins the enjoyment.

I'm willing to get with menopausal/peri-menopausal/post-menopausal partners if the tradeoff is not having to check the condom throughout sex. You're willing to check the condom throughout sex if the tradefoff is getting to fvck a fertile-age woman. Neither one of us has a "wrong" approach; just different.

According to AI analysis, the reason I don't have a gf is not primiarliy on looks, but on timing, life circumstances (ie imagine if your parents were poor - with your current job -- that's my situation, plus imagine if your parents are also old and handicapped and relied on you to take care of them, also my situation), factors that are not associated with looks. The description of my looks are similar to yours (ie 4/10 Wheat Waffles). Like yourself, AI seems to be given a more favorable impression than Wheat Waffles.

If fair to say that looks aren't the primary cause I don't have a gf, but it doesn't help either. I don't have any "shooting in the barrel' experience as far as women are concerned.

I haven't talked to AI about why exactly I don't have a girlfriend. I mainly just use AI to generate images.

But yeah, in both of our cases, even though we fail to meet the top 15% threshold, looks are not the primary reason we don't have a girlfriend.

Despite the fact I don't have some of the factors you're dealing with (parents who are elderly, low income, and need you as a caretaker), I have other factors that are holding me back.

I know Wheat Waffles is worshiped as the absolute truth by many on this forum. Yet his assessment doesn't match up with the ratings I get through AI or through internet rating platforms.

The fact I average out at a 6 or so on a website where you can alter your settings to only allow ratings from female raters is pretty telling (of the fact I'm closer to a 6 than a 4).

For that matter, even with certain members of the opposite sex I know in real life who aren't necessarily interested in dating me (whether because of my age, because they're already taken, etc), they've indicated that they don't think my looks are bad (and they're perplexed at why I have such a hard time getting a woman).

Wheat Waffles' livelihood depends on upselling customers into paying for his more advanced analysis. It makes total sense (from a business standpoint) he'd purposely underrate men to try to fleece us into paying to hear a more detailed analysis of what we should change about our appearance. I don't get why this idea is so hard for some posters to understand.

 

[corrector]

For that matter, even with certain members of the opposite sex I know in real life who aren't necessarily interested in dating me (whether because of my age, because they're already taken, etc), they've indicated that they don't think my looks are bad (and they're perplexed at why I have such a hard time getting a woman).

That's just the thing, our looks probably don't harm, if we have something else at play on top of it, or "redeeming qualities, or in my case, redeeming circumstances", but they don't help either.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's just the thing, our looks probably don't harm, if we have something else at play on top of it, or "redeeming qualities, or in my case, redeeming circumstances", but they don't help either.

Without knowing what you really look like (all I have to go by is your AI character), I'm unable to comment much on whether your looks help.

I'd say my looks help me though. If I was a 9 or 10 (or even 8.5), would my looks help more? Of course. All I'm saying is...simply being a 6-7 puts me in a better position than if I really were a 4 (as Wheat Waffles falsely claims I am).

Even though I haven't had a whole lot of luck with the opposite sex compared to many on this forum, I attribute my above-average looks as an explanation for the relatively little luck I have had.

The mini-date after an organized singles event, the date I got from being some other dude's wingman in 2023, my last instance of free sex in 2021, as well as further back instances where I had some degree of luck with the opposite sex likely never would have happened if it weren't for my above-average looks.

The only reason (or at least a main reason) I don't have more stories of luck with the opposite sex is because (again) I'm not a 9-10.

In other words, even though there's a limit to how far I can coast on 6-7 looks, being a 6-7 opens up opportunities that wouldn't be possible for a below-average man.

I just thought of another reason that might have contributed to some of my lucky instances with the opposite sex: My confidence. Even though I say I have low self-esteem, perhaps my self-esteem is higher than I give myself credit for. After all, I remain adamant I'm a 6-7, no matter how many naysayers tell me I'm really a 4.

 

[GoodMan32]

I did some body weight exercises when I got home from work yesterday. That ought to make some posters (especially @BPH) satisfied.

Not sure if you’re upset that your psychologist "put" words in your mouth or that the two of you are not on the same page. To be truthful, it’s just semantics; “probably” carries a 70% to 90% chance of happening, while “always” means 100%. Either way, both percentages are against your favor.

No, it is illogical because, as stated before, the gambler’s fallacy is a misconception in probability where individuals mistakenly believe that past random events can influence the probability of future independent events. This means your past experiences have no effect on each new interaction with a woman. What actually changes your odds are your looks, money, status, and personality.

We have also said many times that in order to reduce your rejection rate or increase the number of women who show high interest, you need to work on your looks, money, status, and personality. These variables are indirectly proportional to your rejection rate.

Ok, I hear what you're saying about gambler's fallacy. You're right, I'm dealing with a different woman every time.

I thought of a better way to explain my circumstances: It isn't the rejection itself that gets to me (it's the embarrassment of turning out to be wrong about her interest level). Since my autism is why I've been wrong about a girl/woman's interest level nearly every time, and since there's no cure for autism, I have every reason to believe I'm going to continue being wrong about interest level nearly every time.

@BeExcellent is married to an autistic man who lacks some of my baggage (for example, he makes 6 figures, is a musician, and is athletic). He has so much going for him he gets hit on when @BeExcellent is right next to him in public. Yet (per @BeExcellent's own admission on the forum) there are a lot of times when he has no idea he's getting hit on (and he only finds out because @BeExcellent tells him "that other woman was totally hitting on you")

My point? Even an autist who works a lot on self-improvement still runs into the autism-induced inability to read a woman's interest level.

 

[BPH]

I did some body weight exercises when I got home from work yesterday. That ought to make some posters (especially @BPH) satisfied.

Join.

A.

Gym.

Be around other people (including women), and use equipment that will actually get you in shape. Don't do a couple of push-ups and call it a day...

 

[Gamisch]

Without knowing what you really look like (all I have to go by is your AI character), I'm unable to comment much on whether your looks help.

I'd say my looks help me though. If I was a 9 or 10 (or even 8.5), would my looks help more? Of course. All I'm saying is...simply being a 6-7 puts me in a better position than if I really were a 4 (as Wheat Waffles falsely claims I am).

Even though I haven't had a whole lot of luck with the opposite sex compared to many on this forum, I attribute my above-average looks as an explanation for the relatively little luck I have had.

The mini-date after an organized singles event, the date I got from being some other dude's wingman in 2023, my last instance of free sex in 2021, as well as further back instances where I had some degree of luck with the opposite sex likely never would have happened if it weren't for my above-average looks.

The only reason (or at least a main reason) I don't have more stories of luck with the opposite sex is because (again) I'm not a 9-10.

In other words, even though there's a limit to how far I can coast on 6-7 looks, being a 6-7 opens up opportunities that wouldn't be possible for a below-average man.

I just thought of another reason that might have contributed to some of my lucky instances with the opposite sex: My confidence. Even though I say I have low self-esteem, perhaps my self-esteem is higher than I give myself credit for. After all, I remain adamant I'm a 6-7, no matter how many naysayers tell me I'm really a 4.

You #£@£!££!%@+×

The lack of confidence is the ONLY reason you're struggling. Get the wax out of your ears and LISTEN

 

[plumber]

@BeExcellent is married to an autistic man who lacks some of my baggage (for example, he makes 6 figures, is a musician, and is athletic). He has so much going for him he gets hit on when @BeExcellent is right next to him in public. Yet (per @BeExcellent's own admission on the forum) there are a lot of times when he has no idea he's getting hit on (and he only finds out because @BeExcellent tells him "that other woman was totally hitting on you")

My point? Even an autist who works a lot on self-improvement still runs into the autism-induced inability to read a woman's interest level.

okay. you just told that it worked out for this other guy. because he did ALL the things the users on this forum tell men to do. because of that @BeExcellent decided and figured out a way to get him. If you do all the things your being guided to do, the same will happen to you.

if you do only some of the things you will likely get a lower tier woman to catch you. if you do none of the things probably will get what your getting now.

if you do all of the things, you will get hunted and caught by a top tier woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

okay. you just told that it worked out for this other guy. because he did ALL the things the users on this forum tell men to do. because of that @BeExcellent decided and figured out a way to get him. If you do all the things your being guided to do, the same will happen to you.

if you do only some of the things you will likely get a lower tier woman to catch you. if you do none of the things probably will get what your getting now.

if you do all of the things, you will get hunted and caught by a top tier woman.

She didn't hunt him. Per her admission on past posts, he hunted her...pretty persistently (and she was reluctant to get with him)

Mind you he was around 40 years old when they got married. And she can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression (based on snippets she's shared through her posts) he only had a series of short-term casual sex arrangements before getting with her. Which would suggest even though he had an easier time getting a woman than me, keeping a woman was a challenge for him.

Let that sink in: He did pretty much everything posters have told me to do, gets lots of attention from the opposite sex, yet even so, the only way he was able to get a long-term relationship was by wearing her down until she caved (and it didn't happen until he was 40 or so)

 

[SW15]

getting a woman, keeping a woman

Getting women and keeping women are related skill sets, but not the same skill set.

There are 4 main boxes when we think about this. Not everyone fits neatly into one of these boxes, but it is good enough for the purposes of a discussion.

1. Good at getting women, good at keeping women
2. Bad at getting women, bad at keeping women
3. Bad at getting women, good at keeping women
4. Good at getting women, bad at keeping women

1. "Good at getting women, good at keeping women" are the more commitment oriented alpha and sigma males and some betas with money and/or socially well connected betas. These are the men who tend to have extended long term relationships. If their LTRs or marriages break up, these are men who will find another woman fast (at least for short term sex since they are good at getting women) and it won't that long for them to get a new long term girlfriend.

This has a few different looks in reality, but it's the best place to be.

2. "Bad at getting women, bad at keeping women" are the men who are incels, near incels, and MGTOW.

There are usually significant issues with multiple things in the looks, money, status, and personality aspects of their lives.

3. "Bad at getting women, good at keeping women" are often Average Frustrated Chumps, run-of-the-mill beta male types. They struggled before getting into some LTR/marriage that they are in right now. If their current LTR/marriage were to end, they would struggle up re-entry to the mating market.

The majority of the men I know in real life fall into this category. These are guys who have been in their current relationships for 5-15 years at this point. Society tends to look at these men favorably since they have a current, "stable" LTR to their names, often in the form of a marriage.

4. "Good at getting women, bad at keeping women" are the less commitment oriented alpha and sigma males or alphas-sigmas with a significant issue in their lives. The less commitment oriented men aren't even trying to have longer term relationships, though these men might try in the future. Some are these men who are open to the idea of a longer term relationship have a significant issue in their lives that prevents a long term relationship from forming OR they dumpster dive to get an imperfect LTR. These imperfect LTRs can last longer than some might think, giving off an appearance of good skill in keeping women.

These issues might look like....

• Addiction/substance abuse
• Economic issues like unemployment, underemployment, living with parents between ages 24-36, etc.
• Having a messy apartment/owned home
• Some other significant issue

 

[GoodMan32]

Getting women and keeping women are related skill sets, but not the same skill set.

There are 4 main boxes when we think about this. Not everyone fits neatly into one of these boxes, but it is good enough for the purposes of a discussion.

1. Good at getting women, good at keeping women
2. Bad at getting women, bad at keeping women
3. Bad at getting women, good at keeping women
4. Good at getting women, bad at keeping women

1. "Good at getting women, good at keeping women" are the more commitment oriented alpha and sigma males and some betas with money and/or socially well connected betas. These are the men who tend to have extended long term relationships. If their LTRs or marriages break up, these are men who will find another woman fast (at least for short term sex since they are good at getting women) and it won't that long for them to get a new long term girlfriend.

This has a few different looks in reality, but it's the best place to be.

2. "Bad at getting women, bad at keeping women" are the men who are incels, near incels, and MGTOW.

There are usually significant issues with multiple things in the looks, money, status, and personality aspects of their lives.

3. "Bad at getting women, good at keeping women" are often Average Frustrated Chumps, run-of-the-mill beta male types. They struggled before getting into some LTR/marriage that they are in right now. If their current LTR/marriage were to end, they would struggle up re-entry to the mating market.

The majority of the men I know in real life fall into this category. These are guys who have been in their current relationships for 5-15 years at this point. Society tends to look at these men favorably since they have a current, "stable" LTR to their names, often in the form of a marriage.

4. "Good at getting women, bad at keeping women" are the less commitment oriented alpha and sigma males or alphas-sigmas with a significant issue in their lives. The less commitment oriented men aren't even trying to have longer term relationships, though these men might try in the future. Some are these men who are open to the idea of a longer term relationship have a significant issue in their lives that prevents a long term relationship from forming OR they dumpster dive to get an imperfect LTR. These imperfect LTRs can last longer than some might think, giving off an appearance of good skill in keeping women.

These issues might look like....

• Addiction/substance abuse
• Economic issues like unemployment, underemployment, living with parents between ages 24-36, etc.
• Having a messy apartment/owned home
• Some other significant issue

A lot of men fall into the "bad at getting, good at keeping" category, you're right.

Off the top of my head, the first example that comes to mind is an ugly 26 year old coworker who's married to his high school sweetheart. If the marriage were to end, I imagine he'd struggle big time to get another woman.

 

[SW15]

3. "Bad at getting women, good at keeping women" are often Average Frustrated Chumps, run-of-the-mill beta male types. They struggled before getting into some LTR/marriage that they are in right now. If their current LTR/marriage were to end, they would struggle up re-entry to the mating market.

The majority of the men I know in real life fall into this category. These are guys who have been in their current relationships for 5-15 years at this point. Society tends to look at these men favorably since they have a current, "stable" LTR to their names, often in the form of a marriage.

A lot of men fall into the "bad at getting, good at keeping" category, you're right.

I think "bad at getting, good at keeping" is the most common category.

Additionally, a lot of these "good at keeping" guys are in mediocre to subpar relationships. The relationships continue on due to societal pressure and at least one partner thinking that it is easier to stay than leave.

The first guy in the thread below is the classic "bad at getting, good at keeping" guy. My friend has a 10+ year relationship (formed through social circle, not cold approach or app swiping) based on a common interest in playing golf. The entirety of their relationship is the commonality of golf and her big, natural breasts on a mid-sized frame. She has zero charisma, she has a mediocre face, she is highly introverted, and borderline socially awkward. She doesn't seem to be able to discuss much in depth other than her white collar job and golf. She has almost zero female friends. She is on ok terms with the wives of her husband's friends, but none of them really like her that much.

I think she stays with him because of golf, he has an above average income, and her parents like him. He does have a good enough personality.

How Much More Attractive are Women with Cool, Male-Friendly Hobbies?

I've wondered how much more attractive women are when they possess some cool, male friendly hobbies. I have examples to share in this thread. The bottom line is that I think it makes an impact and sometimes a very significant one. Let's go through women possessing interest in some cool...

www.sosuave.net

Another one of my friends has been with the same woman since college and he's now in his late 30s. He met her through social circle in college, not a cold approach on campus. His history before her was very mediocre. I know he thought about dumping her before they got married but he wasn't that confident he'd replace her quickly or do better than her. She would have been in more demand had they broken up before the marriage.

If they broke up today, it's unknown how things would go. Both would be single parents now.

 

[BeExcellent]

Let me clarify a few things since I've been paged to this thread....@plumber

1. I randomly met my husband while technically on a date with someone else who I had been seeing for 9 months. My date spun out, got blisteringly drunk, broke up with me and started wildly flirting with other women at the venue. I do not tolerate disrespect like that, and so I shrugged it off, was with a larger group of close friends, and thought, Ok. I must be single. No worries.

My husband (who will tell you it was love at first sight) saw me arrive at the venue with someone else. My husband assumed I was married because of the big ring (not a wedding ring) on that finger. He actively orchestrated proximity (told his friends to move & make room) when he saw my girlfriend and I heading toward the bar. I ended up standing right next to him....and he was smiling and staring....so I said hello because otherwise it was a bit awkward. He struck up a conversation & asked for my social media. While this was going on my drunk date brings over some girl to introduce, which was kinda funny. So I went back to my group of friends & my husband stayed with his. At the end of the night he found me, said goodnight, gave me a little kiss & then we left with our respective friend groups. My date (I was his ride) refused to leave with us, so we left him.

I was single for a sum total of 2 hours before meeting my husband.......

2. The very next morning, before I was awake, my husband texted me & asked me to bruch at a spot near me. I accepted and went. He then asked me to go out to the wine country that afternoon. I went. He then asked me to dnner for that night. I went. So he wasted no time making his interest known. I liked that.

Understand this. My husband is a very handsome man and has been all his life. So since adolesence he's had females hitting on him & female attention. So he has a lot of experience with how girls behave, and he's had women proposition him, approach him, pick him up etc. He's also had a number of multiyear LTRs since high school & through adulthood. But he didn't want children, so that cost him a couple of good girls in his youth, and he didn't find the other LTRs marriage worthy.

He was 45 when I met him; I was 52. However I do not look my age at all. I did not look like I had children either.

My husband is good at getting women. Very adept at that actually. But he is also a sigma male. Not concerned with opinions of others. Classic lone wolf. So an insecure or needy woman will blow herself up with that kind of man. I am naturally aloof & like some space. So we mesh well there. His LTRs previously would fail because needs did not line up & he knows he can easily get another woman.

But he cannot easily get another woman like me. Great women are rare. A great woman who "gets him" is more rare. Therefore he sees my value, locked me down, and now we are married.

He is the handsome 6/6/6 man many many women desire, but few women embody what he desires & needs. So it works. He is over sex for the sake of sex. He's been with hot/crazies and needy insecure (suffocating) women.

So yes he has a lot of experience despite his neurodiversity. And he works out, is successful etc.

@GoodMan32 does not have the same facial asthetics or physique or women would be approaching him constantly as they do with my husband. BUT he can hit the gym, get into great shape, develop great style (my husband has the LA rocker look going in spades...) and improve his social acumen....all of which will improve his results.

But he must stop making excuses and take action & build positive habits (positive mindset, working out etc.)

 

[Divorced w 3]

Let me clarify a few things since I've been paged to this thread....

1. I randomly met my husband while technically on a date with someone else who I had been seeing for 9 months. My date spun out, got blisteringly drunk, broke up with me and started wildly flirting with other women at the venue. I do not tolerate disrespect like that, and so I shrugged it off, was with a larger group of close friends, and thought, Ok. I must be single. No worries.

My husband (who will tell you it was love at first sight) saw me arrive at the venue with someone else. My husband assumed I was married because of the big ring (not a wedding ring) on that finger. He actively orchestrated proximity (told his friends to move & make room) when he saw my girlfriend and I heading toward the bar. I ended up standing right next to him....and he was smiling and staring....so I said hello because otherwise it was a bit awkward. He struck up a conversation & asked for my social media. While this was going on my drunk date brings over some girl to introduce, which was kinda funny. So I went back to my group of friends & my husband stayed with his. At the end of the night he found me, said goodnight, gave me a little kiss & then we left with our respective friend groups. My date (I was his ride) refused to leave with us, so we left him.

I was single for a sum total of 2 hours before meeting my husband.......

2. The very next morning, before I was awake, my husband texted me & asked me to bruch at a spot near me. I accepted and went. He then asked me to go out to the wine country that afternoon. I went. He then asked me to dnner for that night. I went. So he wasted no time making his interest known. I liked that.

Understand this. My husband is a very handsome man and has been all his life. So since adolesence he's had females hitting on him & female attention. So he has a lot of experience with how girls behave, and he's had women proposition him, approach him, pick him up etc. He's also had a number of multiyear LTRs since high school & through adulthood. But he didn't want children, so that cost him a couple of good girls in his youth, and he didn't find the other LTRs marriage worthy.

He was 45 when I met him; I was 52. However I do not look my age at all. I did not look like I had children either.

My husband is good at getting women. Very adept at that actually. But he is also a sigma male. Not concerned with opinions of others. Classic lone wolf. So an insecure or needy woman will blow herself up with that kind of man. I am naturally aloof & like some space. So we mesh well there. His LTRs previously would fail because needs did not line up & he knows he can easily get another woman.

But he cannot easily get another woman like me. Great women are rare. A great woman who "gets him" is more rare. Therefore he sees my value, locked me down, and now we are married.

He is the handsome 6/6/6 man many many women desire, but few women embody what he desires & needs. So it works. He is over sex for the sake of sex. He's been with hot/crazies and needy insecure (suffocating) women.

So yes he has a lot of experience despite his neurodiversity. And he works out, is successful etc.

@GoodMan32 does not have the same facial asthetics or physique or women would be approaching him constantly as they do with my husband. BUT he can hit the gym, get into great shape, develop great style (my husband has the LA rocker look going in spades...) and improve his social acumen....all of which will improve his results.

But he must stop making excuses and take action & build positive habits (positive mindset, working out etc.)

He is not autistic. An autistic kid pissed all over the floor of my house last summer and laughed about it and cannot think nearly as quickly and respond anywhere near as insightfully and with the amount of composure that OP can. Your husband in previous posts has missed social cues. OP catches the social cues and laments not acting on them. He is not an autistic person he is a troll. See my post on the other trolls thread on AI girlfriends for further proof.

Your husband btw, sounds like a stand up guy. I’m glad you’re happy.