Thinking you'll probably get rejected vs thinking you'll definitely get rejected

[SW15]

you'll notice there'll be two kinds of attacted women to you: the first one are obvious, the second one are so shy they will try to not look at you, or do things to avoid you on purpose but they re so attracted to you.

If a mid-tier looks man tries to approach women in real life and generate interest through real life activities, he will not see much interest in him. Mid-tier men get few IOIs in general.

Most men who approach end up approaching women who have not given any IOIs. They are trying to create something from nothing and that's a very difficult task.

This is why most men would rather sit at home and swipe on the apps.

It's not a good feeling to be ignored or rejected in real life.

 

[GoodMan32]

If a mid-tier looks man tries to approach women in real life and generate interest through real life activities, he will not see much interest in him. Mid-tier men get few IOIs in general.

Most men who approach end up approaching women who have not given any IOIs. They are trying to create something from nothing and that's a very difficult task.

This is why most men would rather sit at home and swipe on the apps.

It's not a good feeling to be ignored or rejected in real life.

Even though I'm not afraid of the rejection itself from a stranger I'm unlikely to ever cross paths with again, the fact rejection will probably happen can kill the incentive. Also killing the incentive are the fact I run the risk of getting brutalized by white knights as well as the fact I run the risk of getting legal charges.

Swipe apps (and organized singles events) are ideal because you won't get brutalized or get charges pressed simply for swiping on an app or expressing interest in a woman at an organized singles event.

As for real life approaches with those who already know me on some level, the fact I've been rejected close to 100% of the time using that method can kill the incentive.

 

[SW15]

Swipe apps (and organized singles events) are ideal because you won't get brutalized or get charges pressed simply for swiping on an app or expressing interest in a woman at an organized singles event.

You could still get mocked online in a Facebook "Are We Dating the Same Guy" group or on the Tea app. This forum had a thread about the Tea app earlier this month.

2025 - The Rise Of Femcels (Tea App, etc.).

I guess I am pulling off my best @CornbreadFed here when I post this as he has a habit of making these sorts of posts but I have to call it, 2025 is the year where we witnessed the rise of Femcels. In some ways, it was already brewing with a subreddit, which I forgot about, having a large number...

www.sosuave.net

Generally speaking, it takes more than a bad approach to get mentioned on the Tea App or those Facebook groups.

A bad first date from a swipe app has a low probability in resulting in getting mocked on those groups, but it can happen.

 

[GoodMan32]

You could still get mocked online in a Facebook "Are We Dating the Same Guy" group or on the Tea app. This forum had a thread about the Tea app earlier this month.

2025 - The Rise Of Femcels (Tea App, etc.).

I guess I am pulling off my best @CornbreadFed here when I post this as he has a habit of making these sorts of posts but I have to call it, 2025 is the year where we witnessed the rise of Femcels. In some ways, it was already brewing with a subreddit, which I forgot about, having a large number...

www.sosuave.net

Generally speaking, it takes more than a bad approach to get mentioned on the Tea App or those Facebook groups.

A bad first date from a swipe app has a low probability in resulting in getting mocked on those groups, but it can happen.

Compared to the alternatives (getting legal charges or getting swarmed/brutalized by white knights), getting mocked on Facebook or the Tea app isn't really a big deal to me.

 

[SW15]

I'm not afraid of the rejection itself from a stranger I'm unlikely to ever cross paths with again, the fact rejection will probably happen can kill the incentive. Also killing the incentive are the fact I run the risk of getting brutalized by white knights as well as the fact I run the risk of getting legal charges.

The most common scenario for you if you were to actually approach women in real life is common venues is a rejection. You shouldn't even be thinking about white knights or legal charges.

You have little experience approaching women in common approach venues.

You are not approaching in bars on regular bar nights. That is by far the most common approach venue.

You are not doing traditional daygame in retail venues like malls, grocery stores, and bookstores.

 

[GoodMan32]

The most common scenario for you if you were to actually approach women in real life is common venues is a rejection. You shouldn't even be thinking about white knights or legal charges.

You have little experience approaching women in common approach venues.

You are not approaching in bars on regular bar nights. That is by far the most common approach venue.

You are not doing traditional daygame in retail venues like malls, grocery stores, and bookstores.

You're speaking to a man who approached a female classmate after class in college to request we become casual sex partners (and went through a stretch where I'd invite randos in public to come over my place)

There's also the woman I offered to buy cigarettes for at a mini mart when I was 23 (I guess you could call that a low class version of daygaming at a retail venue). She accepted my offer about the cigarettes, we exchanged numbers, and she then came over my place a few days later (with a male chaperone for the sake of her safety). While she was at my place, she compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer.

To this day, I have no idea what exactly I did to give off Jeffrey Dahmer vibes. The fact I gave off Jeffrey Dahmer vibes, however, would suggest you're underestimating just how likely I am to creep a woman out to the point of legal charges (or yelling loud enough to get the attention of every man in the vicinity)

 

[BaronOfHair]

...she then came over my place a few days later (with a male chaperone for the sake of her safety). While she was at my place, she compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer

Any gal who believed she required "protection" from a gay cannibal clearly wasn't the brightest bulb on The X-Mas Tree, hoss. Get grateful for having dodged a metaphorical bullet here


"With how much I have working against me..."

You've got precisely ONE thing working against you. Identifying said obstacle requires only a glance in the nearest mirror

 

[BaronOfHair]

If a mid-tier looks man tries to approach women in real life and generate interest through real life activities, he will not see much interest in him. Mid-tier men get few IOIs in general

When even fellas like Pete Davidson and Lip Gallagher from Shameless have been able to glow-up to panty dropper status, there's no excuse for ANY man who isn't covered head to toe in 3rd degree burns for not doing likewise


"It's not a good feeling to be ignored or rejected in real life"

When you're 13 or 14, maybe. When one is 30+ plus and still deeply wounded by such a thing, he's got serious internal work to do

 

[BadBoy89]

I have always given you credit on this forum for "height, hair, money" and will continue to do so. I agree with the importance of those factors + build/physique.

Money only matters if the women in older. Height and hair are the only things that matter.

A hot 22 year old isn’t going to care if the man is rich, she will about his height and hair.

A 42 year old won’t care too much about his height, as long as he is taller than her. She will care about his hair and money.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Even though I'm not afraid of the rejection itself from a stranger I'm unlikely to ever cross paths with again, the fact rejection will probably happen can kill the incentive

Here's inventive, GM https://ca.news.yahoo.com/lawyer-22-dies-suffering-severe-174122522.html


Note the age at which that girl croaked. Like yourself, she almost certainly dreamed of doing things, yet came up with excuses for NOT taking prompt action... She may have even thought to herself: "I've got decades ahead of me". If there's an afterlife other than reincarnation/rebirth of some sort, chances are high she's going to now spend eternity regretting the fact that she didn't load up the 22 years she was gifted with as much fulfillment as she could

Youth is much less of a safeguard than we generally realize, and at aged 34, you no longer qualify as exceptionally young. So, start pursuing your needs and desires NOW, at this very moment. Not later this evening and not tomorrow, but now, because-just like the rest of us-your number may be up much sooner than anticipated


If this dose of grim reality doesn't light a f-c-ing inferno under the ass of not just you, but every other dude in America who's elevated dithering to symphonic/operatic levels, and spur you all out of inertia, I'm at a loss as to what finally will

 

[BeExcellent]

Compared to the alternatives (getting legal charges or getting swarmed/brutalized by white knights), getting mocked on Facebook or the Tea app isn't really a big deal to me.

Ok. None of this is real. You are seriously reaching and being ridiculous here. You manage to work. So if you keep the same decorum with women.

 

[GoodMan32]

Ok. None of this is real. You are seriously reaching and being ridiculous here. You manage to work. So if you keep the same decorum with women.

Right, I work. But I don't pursue the opposite sex at work.

Being able to interact with the opposite sex in a work setting is totally different than interacting with the opposite sex in a pursual context.

By 23, I had a decent amount of work experience (and by extension, a decent amount of experience interacting with the opposite sex in a work setting). Yet that didn't stop me from the socially inept behavior of inviting randos in public over my place. Nor did it stop me from doing whatever I did that made a woman who came over my place (after a milder approach) compare me to Jeffrey Dahmer.

Even in a work setting, there are some female coworkers at my current job who are clearly terrified of and/or creeped out by me. A decent amount will pull their shirt down to hide their backside in my presence. Then one female coworker really picks up her pace any time we end up in the same stairwell.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But I don't pursue the opposite sex at work

Cheer up, GM!!! Now that V. Kilmer's left the planet, you can

-Switch careers

-Begin trafficking teenie boppers out of The US and into The Gulf States, while on The SerbIan Mob's pay roll

All WITHOUT fear of your limbs ending up less than intact

 

[Sega Genesis]

By 23, I had a decent amount of work experience (and by extension, a decent amount of experience interacting with the opposite sex in a work setting). Yet that didn't stop me from the socially inept behavior of inviting randos in public over my place. Nor did it stop me from doing whatever I did that made a woman who came over my place (after a milder approach) compare me to Jeffrey Dahmer.

Even in a work setting, there are some female coworkers at my current job who are clearly terrified of and/or creeped out by me. A decent amount will pull their shirt down to hide their backside in my presence. Then one female coworker really picks up her pace any time we end up in the same stairwell.

Jeffrey Dahmer? Terrified of you? Covering their backsides while in your presence? Creeping them out? Essentially not wanting to be around you?

What the hell @GoodMan32 really?

JMO but such unsettling behavior that's causing these extreme reactions goes beyond Autism (and I've been learning more about it the last couple of days).

Have you ever been assessed for this? Serious question.

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a personality disorder defined by a chronic pattern of behavior that disregards the rights and well-being of others. People with ASPD often exhibit behavior that conflicts with social norms, leading to issues with interpersonal relationships, employment, and legal matters. The condition generally manifests in childhood or early adolescence, with a high rate of associated conduct problems and a tendency for symptoms to peak in late adolescence and early adulthood.

 

[SW15]

but such unsetting behavior that's causing these extreme reactions goes beyond Autism (and I've been learning more about it the last couple of days).

Have you ever been assessed for this?

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a personality disorder defined by a chronic pattern of behavior that disregards the rights and well-being of others. People with ASPD often exhibit behavior that conflicts with social norms, leading to issues with interpersonal relationships, employment, and legal matters. The condition generally manifests in childhood or early adolescence, with a high rate of associated conduct problems and a tendency for symptoms to peak in late adolescence and early adulthood.

An extreme reaction like that would be unsettling. If a man receives a reaction like that, I think it would warrant an immediate assessment.

That incident occurred 11 years ago at this point, so I'm not sure how relevant it is for him in 2025.

None of my rejections or reactions to openers have gotten anywhere near this level.

Rejections that I would consider harsh didn't create such a reaction. Most of my rejections over the years have been mild and somewhat polite. I have been in the mating environment for 25+ years now, although parts of that time have been in relationships and not actively doing new approaches.

 

[BaronOfHair]

What the hell @GoodMan32 really?

If he behaves as bizarrely out in reality as he does online, GM eliciting such reactions is less surprising than Hollywood going down the crapper over the past decade, when they started prioritizing "appealing to a more diverse audience" over churning out compelling films. Which, oddly enough, would've almost certainly attracted larger, more diverse audiences

None of my rejections or reactions to openers have gotten anywhere near this level

Lulling half a million chicks into a coma while you speak is also abominable, just in a different sense

 

[Sega Genesis]

That incident occurred 11 years ago at this point, so I'm not sure how relevant it is for him in 2025

Why wouldn't it be?

ASPD "peaks" in late adolescence and early adulthood; time doesn't halt the disorder and behavior.

 

[SW15]

Why wouldn't it be?

ASPD "peaks" in late adolescence and early adulthood, it doesn't halt it.

It becomes relevant to consider if this convenience store approach incident that led to a home visit has ever been mentioned to a mental health professional. He does have a current counselor.

Very few male approachers have incidents that are this bizarre.

 

[Sega Genesis]

He does have a current counselor.

If his current therapist has never thought to assess him for ASPD, he needs a new one!

Something sounds terribly terribly off here that goes beyond Autism.

I also think it's quite possible he was misdiagnosed initially as I mentioned earlier.

P.S. I'm actually starting to consider what some other members have stated - that he's a troll.

I'm out.

 

[GoodMan32]

Jeffrey Dahmer? Terrified of you? Covering their backsides while in your presence? Creeping them out? Essentially not wanting to be around you?

What the hell @GoodMan32 really?

JMO but such unsettling behavior that's causing these extreme reactions goes beyond Autism (and I've been learning more about it the last couple of days).

Have you ever been assessed for this? Serious question.

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a personality disorder defined by a chronic pattern of behavior that disregards the rights and well-being of others. People with ASPD often exhibit behavior that conflicts with social norms, leading to issues with interpersonal relationships, employment, and legal matters. The condition generally manifests in childhood or early adolescence, with a high rate of associated conduct problems and a tendency for symptoms to peak in late adolescence and early adulthood.

Ok, you make a good point.

My issues appear to go beyond mere autism.

I've never been assessed for anti-social personality disorder. Perhaps I should.

The brief description of the condition (where they mention conflicts with social norms) sounds a lot like me. I've said on posts before that I'm unfamiliar with all sorts of social norms.

The fact the condition tends to manifest itself in childhood/early adolescence reminds me of a comment I made to a cousin when I was 14 (he was 15 at the time). The cousin was really taken back by the comment. I won't repeat the comment on here. But my point is: The fact even this cousin (who I suspect is also an autist) was disturbed by the comment would suggest you're right about the idea that whatever's wrong with me goes beyond autism.