"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Thinking about getting my EX Deported!!!

Immaculate

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Ok here's the deal.. I broke up w/ my GF. First, she comes over to my house to get all her stuff. When I was in the bathroom, she deleted
all the girls #'s out of my cell phone. On my way to work I almost died in a car wreck because I was looking for a phone # in my cell.
Next, the ***** is stalking me begging me to let her stay the night.
Then yesterday, she called my dad and told him I do all these drugs and I'm an alcoholic. He has heart problems and he said he almost had a heart attack. Then the psycho ***** starts calling my sister!

This girl is from South America and during our relationship she admitted to me she is using a fake SS# and is here illegally. I am no snitch, but she is messing w/ my family. I'm thinking about reporting her to INS. What will happen to her if I do this? Do they deport her right away, taker her to court, jail, anybody know?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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defiancy

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if shes not worthy to live here go deport her :p
 

Centaurion

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if she had done all those things to me, i'd deport her in a heart blink.
 

Immaculate

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What does INS do if I call the hotline? I can tell them her name and where she works. Will they send agents there right away or and then what do they do? Court? Jail? Or instant deportation?
 

Plain & Simple

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Lol perefect huh.

Me personally i would do deport her ass, after doing all that **** to me, they deport her back right away, and if they cant for whatever reason, they place her in jail until they deport her
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Plain & Simple

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let us now how it went
 

Joe The Homophobe

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all the girls #'s out of my cell phone. On my way to work I almost died in a car wreck because I was looking for a phone # in my cell.
I have no symphaty for people that are occupied with things other than driving when on the drivers seat. You are no better than all the women that do their makeup or eat while driving and get so many people killed in car accidents!
 

Immaculate

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OK I did it. I called and even told them she has been badmouthing our president/country.

I used my cell, I wonder if they traced the call and am listening to all my calls now.
Guess I wait and see.. oh great now one of her relatives will shoot my ass.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jake-inator

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I can just see an INS add:


Are you tired of you illegal alien girl friend? Call INS.
No more messy break ups!


You report 'em, we deport 'em!
 

Plain & Simple

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Originally posted by Immaculate
OK I did it. I called and even told them she has been badmouthing our president/country.

I used my cell, I wonder if they traced the call and am listening to all my calls now.
Guess I wait and see.. oh great now one of her relatives will shoot my ass.
what did they say?
 

Immaculate

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Originally posted by Plain & Simple
what did they say?

they said the call was recorded and they will send it to the appropriate office.
Man I feel bad about this.
 

Jake-inator

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Basically:

We don't really care. We'll get to it in a month or two.
In the meantime the recording gets taped over, by a lame MC hammer song. :D
 

lebRambo

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who cares? if she gets deported, you just laugh your a$$ off. if she doesn't, you just have to deal with her. Either way, not much will happen to you. If, however, she DOES get deported, that will be some funny sh*t! :crackup:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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PRMoon

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This is the funniest post i've read in days:crackup:
 

ghostin

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Careful man. Her uncle is prolly a drug kingpin. He's gunna have ur nuts in a vice by the end of the month hehe
 

TACH

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Best thread here in a while. You should have your friends and or family call and report her too. You should have said that she was somehow connected to some drug smuggling, even better..
 

GrimPhallic

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LOL I cant believe you did it... You must have some big fvckin testicles... Wow okay well I know they cant tell her who did it so really she wont know how they found out... And the government finds illegal aliens all the time on their own, so it will seem like pure coincidence... Dont worry dood.
 

Immaculate

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I regret doing it now. I don't want to ruin her life but it's done I was in a drunken rage. I can't change it. But you know? My poor dad stormed into my house after the call and demanded I put all my drugs in front of him (I didn't have any at the time, honestly). I told him I'll go take a friggin piss test. We run a business together and he fired me because of this phone call. Well, we talked and he hired me back at least.

Now as for this chic, last time she came over and refused to leave I told her if you don't leave I'm going to call Immigration on your ass! She finally left but said "
yeah right i'm getting a green card". How the hell is that possible?

So, I ALREADY threatened to report her BEFORE she goes and calls my folks and almost costs me my job and my dad his life. What's she going to do next?

The reason we broke up is she's a psycho! She never would leave my house when I asked her too. She tried to move herself in and I stopped it. Then she starts showing up at my house unexpectedly, stalking and waiting for me after work. Calls my cll phone 100 times. One day she came over and I didn't want her to come in. She just sat outside and rang the doorbell for a ****ing hour! And then she started sleeping on my steps! Finally I had to let her in... shall I go on????

Oh yeah, not only did dhe DELETE all my #'s in my cell, but she WROTE DOWN the girls #'s in my cell and called them saying she's still my girlfriend after I broke up with her!! So she is seriuosly effing up my life right now!

Do you think they'll go get her? Keep in mind I live close to Washington DC!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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