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Think your woman is BPD? Unlikely...

BackInTheGame78

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Statistically 1.6% of the population has BPD. 3 times more women than men have it, although this is disputed now as they believe it just presents differently in men.

This would put BPD at around 5% of the female population.

Which means there is a 95% chance the woman you are referring to does not have it.

Just thought some perspective was needed as every other thread has talk of women with BPD in it when in fact it is pretty rare.
 

Robert28

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Most women have narcissistic traits, some have way more than others. All have manipulative ways about them like sociopaths tend to do, some just use it to their advantage more than others.
 

Robert28

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I agree with your stats and with you as well.

A lot of men are lazy and find it convenient to label any woman that isn't as malleable as they'd like as "BPD."
Well I mean most women label their exes as “abusive” and “narcissists” so we gotta have something to throw at them.lol
 

Baibars

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Well many are not diagnosed. The mum of my ex most probably had mental issues. 3 kids from 3 men, alcoholic, violent, mood swings.. the craziest woman i ever met. She wasnt diagnosed with anything.

My dad was violent, used my mum and his kids as a punchbag. He also wasnt diagnosed with anything even though he has daddy issues ( he acts tough but always cries when his father who left him when he was a kid doesn't respect him)
 

BackInTheGame78

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Statistic only covers clinically verified cases. There are millions of women who are bdp or display sings of other cluster B behavior but are never diagnosed.
Highly doubtful. Usually it's guys trying to blame the woman for the way they act instead of realizing their behaviors have enabled them to act in this way and thinking they act that way will all guys instead of just them.
 

Romanemp22

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Highly doubtful. Usually it's guys trying to blame the woman for the way they act instead of realizing their behaviors have enabled them to act in this way and thinking they act that way will all guys instead of just them.
A man who is aware of himself will never blame anyone if it's his fault. With women like that you don't made up her symptoms just to justify yourself or anything. I know, I was with a girl who was diagnosed so I know what I'm talking about.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Highly doubtful. Usually it's guys trying to blame the woman for the way they act instead of realizing their behaviors have enabled them to act in this way and thinking they act that way will all guys instead of just them.
I cannot speak for all guys but in my case, and that of a friend of mine who is going through a breakup, it’s more motivated by the guy searching to make sense of WTF just happened to him when she leaves him and he needs years of therapy for the craziness she put him though. So the guy searches to make sense of it and finds BPD or B-cluster definitions, and finds that his ex or current partner matches many of the characteristics. My friend is a multi-millionaire, good lucking, great personality, in top physical shape. His live-in GF of 6 years just left him and is now living in her own home with an overweight contractor living there with her. He found out she was living a double life for years that he didn't even know about and she took him for several hundred thousand dollars through manipulation and theft. Sure he was to blame for allowing some of it to happen but for the first 4-5 years he claims there were no warning signs. Now she is hoovering him (or trying). I could tell you stories of my ex who was diagnosed with BPD, but I've already told them some years ago here.

I agree with @Romanemp22 that there are likely FAR more undiagnosed cases than there are diagnosed cases, because one of the main characteristics of a BPD person is that they refuse to admit that they have it and usually if accused, they will turn it around and say it's YOU that has it. And because narcissism is a component of BPD, they are among the LEAST likely people to seek evaluation - why would a narcissistic person willingly seek out someone to tell them how fvcked up they are?

At the end of the day, BPD is just a label put on a grouping of characteristics that psychologist found patterns in. 30 years from now it will probably be further divided up into additional patterns and groupings. It isn't like there is any specific, physical thing inside the brain that they can point to and say, "Yeah, this is total proof." It's all just labels and groupings. But if you read about it, it is pretty vague and wishy-washy.... there are a handful of characteristics and a BDP person may possess a few, or all of them. From all I have read, it doesn't appear that there is any definitive test to positively confirm BPD - it's up to the evaluating psychologist to form their own opinion and different psychologists may have differing opinions. And as with most disorders, most psychologists I've talked to say that just like Autism, there are wide spectrums, and you can be on the low or the high end of the spectrum.

To your point about guys blaming women for things that the guy enabled them to do, I completely agree that the guy has responsibility for allowing himself to be mistreated, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a disorder. Because it sounds like you're saying if you let a B-cluster woman mistreat you, then it's your fault and she doesn't really have a disorder. If that same BPD woman mistreats another guy, and he sets a boundary with her, do you really think she's going to stop her behavior? She won't and the strong guy will kick her to the curb, and she will move on to the next and the next and the cycle will continue. But even having said that, I don't understand the argument that it's all the man's fault for allowing a woman to mistreat him. Yes, a man should set boundaries and it is his fault if he didn't, but even so, if a given woman's natural state is to mistreat a man horribly unless she is "corrected" repeatedly by the man, how does that mean she doesn't have psychological problems? Unless you think all women live in that state?
 

metalwater

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interesting topic, for sure not a new one.

It difficult for a man to properly diagnose a woman he is in a relationship with. All of the documented behaviors of a BPD or NPD, also fit almost exactly with the behaviors of low interest and having a hidden or not so hidden side bet. Until such time that mind reading is the fact instead of fiction, we will not ever be sure.

I'll be very interested to hear from any man about his BPD or NPD girl that is also treating him well according to his needs and standards.

These disorders look exactly like (LID) low-interest disease. No treatment for BPD and NPD really... There is a treatment for LID.

It is much MUCH easier to believe that she has BPD or NPD instead of LID. This is because the cause of BPD and NPD are NOT our fault in any way. LID is our fault. hmmm but is it really.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Statistically 1.6% of the population has BPD. 3 times more women than men have it, although this is disputed now as they believe it just presents differently in men.

This would put BPD at around 5% of the female population.

Which means there is a 95% chance the woman you are referring to does not have it.

Just thought some perspective was needed as every other thread has talk of women with BPD in it when in fact it is pretty rare.
Agreed. Its basically some guy hell bent after married life to a hoe or her monkey branching to a fella who has a slightly bigger horn.
 

Medina

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Mental health is more like a "spectrum" and not set in stone

But women do lean more towards BPD. While men lean more towards Narcissism

It makes sense when you think of gender roles.

Men are ego driven and crave success & dominance. Women are dependent and crave emotion & the thrill of falling love all over again

Each sides of the extremes on the spectrum should be avoided. But most will have leanings
 

oldmanofthesea

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All women have BPD and NPD. It's otherwise known as Briffault's Law/ the lightswitch effect. You're just not allowed to say it because it's misogynistic.
I had to look that up... had not heard of it before. It is an interesting theory. Now that I have read about it, it seems that a very high level explanation of it is that once a man serves no more value, the woman moves on. I could see this as true, but I do wonder at the most basic level, don’t all humans operate in this way? Value comes in many forms.... even if it’s just the value of platonic companionship. For example, I generally don’t keep friends around if there is no mutual value exchange (I provide value to them and they to me).
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Thing is that 5% (or more) are driving men here a lot of the time so there will be a higher likelihood that men here have dealt with a BPD. Guys that are lucky enough to never come across a BPD would have no idea a forum like this exists.
True but far too often, bpd is a good excuse for whack game and simping. Ie married a prostitute. Insert bpd rant. This is classic of women to lack ownership and a sense of responsibility for poor decision making.
Mental health is more like a "spectrum" and not set in stone

But women do lean more towards BPD. While men lean more towards Narcissism

It makes sense when you think of gender roles.

Men are ego driven and crave success & dominance. Women are dependent and crave emotion & the thrill of falling love all over again

Each sides of the extremes on the spectrum should be avoided. But most will have leanings
Nicely put.

The data I saw waa 2:1 women to men. Women have a proclivity and a obnoxious amount of mental if abortions. Stats are as bad as 1/3 and growing. Coupled with operation evil, false accusations, metoo and a number of other things, its not getting better. I used to joke about men should check her medicine cabinet for anti psychotic medication before inserting penor. The proclivity for men chasing success is in direct proportion to past evolutionary outcomes with the women. If accumulation 9f resources, food, tech, weapons or other didn't get any better *****, man wouldn't leave the house but rather crush x box. Sadly, it's becoming a better ROI than waman and marriage or anything else a court case could deem as such.
 

darksprezzatura

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It does not matter what her "disorder" is.

Stop analysing women, but sure be wary of some red flags from a distance.

Reward good behaviour, Create appropriate distance for bad behaviour.

This will ensure the right kind of remain in your life.

The rest will get vetted out.

Keep spinning playahs.
 

Serenity

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Unless accounted for the 5% is likely higher, these people aren't the type that usually want to get themselves diagnosed.

I agree with your point though, it's probably overused for women who are just plain sh!tty, but not next level insane. My mother has BPD, I heard she said she had the diagnosis a couple times, but I haven't verified it. Still I don't doubt it, she is batsh!t crazy. She will go all out with the nastiest verbal abuse, threatening violence, sitting there with a knife literally to her throat and threaten suicide to manipulate people. It's extreme. It's constant lies, gaslighting and absolute refusal to admit any wrongdoing ever, even if her guilt is plain obvious to everyone. She leaves a trail of destruction wherever she goes.

I've met other sh!tty women, but they don't come close to a true BPD. So yeah, they're rare, but again they usually resist getting themselves diagnosed so statistics about it aren't particularly reliable.

What makes these women dangerous is that they'll start off super nice and affectionate, too nice and affectionate in fact. It's like boiling a frog by slowly raising the temperature, it doesn't realize it's about to die until it's too late. These women slowly sink their claws in before ripping your head off. Being too nice too fast is a huge red flag.
 

Baibars

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Guys don't usually do that.
I take full responsibility when a woman acts out and i continuously let her but the level of disrespect a woman is capable of is different from girl to girl. I don't believe that all women will act the same way if a guy allows disrespect. Some will leave, others will punish and then there are the girls who totally destroy the guys by using them for attention, do push pull etc.
So it's not ONLY my fault even though that doesn't really matter for my self development. That's what i think.
 

The Duke

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I've dated several "crazy" girls. And the crazy's were crazy before me. Most all had been in and out of some form of counseling throughout their entire life. Not a single one of them was ever officially diagnosed.

The statistic the OP presented may be true, however what about the ones who never got diagnosed. Mental health professionals often don't like to put labels on individuals as they don't see it as helping the situation. Some never get counseling.
 
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