"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Things to say when she said "Oh, somethings came up, I can't make it tonight."
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LeviathanIYG
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Need i say...... ****iness
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Social Engineering
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Criminal Mind
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... ok maybe not.
I've had a girl do that to me before. I just ignored her SMS... the next day she replied saying she was "bursting to go out with me"... so maybe there is something there.
Best thing to do is tell her it's no problem, but how about next Wednesday (or any specific day).
I thought I was getting the brush off not so long ago when a girl told me she needed to revise for an exam and couldn't see me. However, I suggested the following week and she took me up on it.
KansasKid
New Member
If a girl really wants to hang out with you, she will make time. So if something really comes up, you dont have to say anything special. Tell her you understand and to give you a call sometime.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
Legitimate reasons are acceptable. i.e. death in the family, family member in the hospital, car broke down, etc. Sometimes sh!t happens and it derails the date. Enough said about that.
Now, here`s what you do when setting up the date. After the date, time and venue have been set, do what David D advises:
HB: "Ok, see you then".
You: "Now, you`re not going to flake on me are you?"
Most if not all girls would say: "Of course not".
Here`s the clincher:
You: "Good because that would be disrespectful. I haven`t been disrespectful to you and I won`t tolerate you being disrespectful to me. If you flake then that will put our friendship into serious jeopardy".
Then say bye and hangup or walk away, whatever you need to in order to end the conversation.
I have personally used this technique with great success. It tells the girl that you won`t tolerate any flakiness because it`s disrespectful to you as a man and she will respect you as a man.
Secondly, adding in the bit about friendship throws her off and gets her guessing, "What did he mean by friendship? Am I not girlfriend material? I`m going to talk to my girlfriends about this. Blah, blah, blah".
During the date of course, you roll with your own DJ style and run with it.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
If I'm bored, and I've got nothing to lose, I'll go with TylerDurden's advice, which is pretty much what I've always done. I've hooked up with girls on a few occasions who initially tried to flake but I talked them into a date. More often than not, though, she's low interest and will LJBF you even if you do talk her out to the date, so don't even think about paying for her.
On the rare occasion, flaky behavior actually signals high interest - i.e. she agreed to a date she shouldn't have because she really wanted to go out with you, but after thinking about it more she realized that she really needed to take care of her responsibilities. If she has high interest, though, chances are she'll counter-offer or give you days that she's available.
If you're busy, or not in the mood to deal with the prospect of spending an evening with a girl who doesn't want to hook up, go with JC's advice. If you're bored, or willing to experiment, or she's really that great that you just have to give it a shot, give TD's advice a shot.
Derek Flint
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DJHoolahoop
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yeah i was going to say this one right here. This way if they REALLY DO feel bad about it, they will say how they'll make it up to you. Or you can tell them how they can make it up to you and let them know NOT to disappoint again, or you'll just "remember that you can't make it out any night with her."
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Alphathree
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The problem isn't WHAT TO SAY in response to "Oh something's come up", it is WHY that got said in the first place.
It doesn't matter if you quote shakespeare or write a poem or give a one-word grunt, she's already decided to flake out on you. THAT is the problem.
Next thing we know, AFCs are going to be asking, "I keep cutting myself with this knife... what kind of bandage is best for which parts of the body?"
Stop cutting yourself with the damned knife!
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
It`s not about being "dramatic".
By the time you`ve set up a date with a prospect that you`re qualifying, she`s had a glimpse that you`re a fun guy, with his life together, going places, doing things and achieving your goals in life.
Now give her a little glimpse that you`re not to be trifled with and that you do have an edge, in case there`s any doubt in the chica`s mind that you`re for real or not. No woman should ever think that she can pull sh!t on a man and get away with it. If any of the prospects that are being qualified want to test if you`re the real deal or not, let them. You`re up for it.
Again, this has worked for me and may not work for others. Try it for yourself and see.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
I can agree with this method.
This one chic tried to flake on me at the last possible minute, and I explained to her in a calm yet stern manner that I would have a problem arranging any date with her in the future if she continues to illustrate how unreliable she can be. The girl apologized, agreed to go, was pretty timid at the date (kept asking me if it was all right if she went to the bathroom), etc. I, then, realized that I had to lighten up even more than usual to dispel any possible misconceptions on her part that I was some "control freak;" therefore, I turned my C+F routine up a notch and she seemed to relax more and more. We had fun.
The downside to all of that is that we don't see each other as much any more, due to the fact that she believes that I'm not "flexible" enough when we arrange dates (******** for: "He's not some back-up date or chump in waiting"). That's fine, though, because all of my dates or buddies understand that if you make plans with me, you're practically making a binding deal with the devil: if you flake, I'm more than likely done with your @$$.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.