"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Things to say when she said "Oh, somethings came up, I can't make it tonight."
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LeviathanIYG
Banned
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Need i say...... ****iness
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Social Engineering
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Criminal Mind
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... ok maybe not.
I've had a girl do that to me before. I just ignored her SMS... the next day she replied saying she was "bursting to go out with me"... so maybe there is something there.
Best thing to do is tell her it's no problem, but how about next Wednesday (or any specific day).
I thought I was getting the brush off not so long ago when a girl told me she needed to revise for an exam and couldn't see me. However, I suggested the following week and she took me up on it.
KansasKid
New Member
If a girl really wants to hang out with you, she will make time. So if something really comes up, you dont have to say anything special. Tell her you understand and to give you a call sometime.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
Legitimate reasons are acceptable. i.e. death in the family, family member in the hospital, car broke down, etc. Sometimes sh!t happens and it derails the date. Enough said about that.
Now, here`s what you do when setting up the date. After the date, time and venue have been set, do what David D advises:
HB: "Ok, see you then".
You: "Now, you`re not going to flake on me are you?"
Most if not all girls would say: "Of course not".
Here`s the clincher:
You: "Good because that would be disrespectful. I haven`t been disrespectful to you and I won`t tolerate you being disrespectful to me. If you flake then that will put our friendship into serious jeopardy".
Then say bye and hangup or walk away, whatever you need to in order to end the conversation.
I have personally used this technique with great success. It tells the girl that you won`t tolerate any flakiness because it`s disrespectful to you as a man and she will respect you as a man.
Secondly, adding in the bit about friendship throws her off and gets her guessing, "What did he mean by friendship? Am I not girlfriend material? I`m going to talk to my girlfriends about this. Blah, blah, blah".
During the date of course, you roll with your own DJ style and run with it.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
If I'm bored, and I've got nothing to lose, I'll go with TylerDurden's advice, which is pretty much what I've always done. I've hooked up with girls on a few occasions who initially tried to flake but I talked them into a date. More often than not, though, she's low interest and will LJBF you even if you do talk her out to the date, so don't even think about paying for her.
On the rare occasion, flaky behavior actually signals high interest - i.e. she agreed to a date she shouldn't have because she really wanted to go out with you, but after thinking about it more she realized that she really needed to take care of her responsibilities. If she has high interest, though, chances are she'll counter-offer or give you days that she's available.
If you're busy, or not in the mood to deal with the prospect of spending an evening with a girl who doesn't want to hook up, go with JC's advice. If you're bored, or willing to experiment, or she's really that great that you just have to give it a shot, give TD's advice a shot.
Derek Flint
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DJHoolahoop
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yeah i was going to say this one right here. This way if they REALLY DO feel bad about it, they will say how they'll make it up to you. Or you can tell them how they can make it up to you and let them know NOT to disappoint again, or you'll just "remember that you can't make it out any night with her."
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Alphathree
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The problem isn't WHAT TO SAY in response to "Oh something's come up", it is WHY that got said in the first place.
It doesn't matter if you quote shakespeare or write a poem or give a one-word grunt, she's already decided to flake out on you. THAT is the problem.
Next thing we know, AFCs are going to be asking, "I keep cutting myself with this knife... what kind of bandage is best for which parts of the body?"
Stop cutting yourself with the damned knife!
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
It`s not about being "dramatic".
By the time you`ve set up a date with a prospect that you`re qualifying, she`s had a glimpse that you`re a fun guy, with his life together, going places, doing things and achieving your goals in life.
Now give her a little glimpse that you`re not to be trifled with and that you do have an edge, in case there`s any doubt in the chica`s mind that you`re for real or not. No woman should ever think that she can pull sh!t on a man and get away with it. If any of the prospects that are being qualified want to test if you`re the real deal or not, let them. You`re up for it.
Again, this has worked for me and may not work for others. Try it for yourself and see.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
I can agree with this method.
This one chic tried to flake on me at the last possible minute, and I explained to her in a calm yet stern manner that I would have a problem arranging any date with her in the future if she continues to illustrate how unreliable she can be. The girl apologized, agreed to go, was pretty timid at the date (kept asking me if it was all right if she went to the bathroom), etc. I, then, realized that I had to lighten up even more than usual to dispel any possible misconceptions on her part that I was some "control freak;" therefore, I turned my C+F routine up a notch and she seemed to relax more and more. We had fun.
The downside to all of that is that we don't see each other as much any more, due to the fact that she believes that I'm not "flexible" enough when we arrange dates (******** for: "He's not some back-up date or chump in waiting"). That's fine, though, because all of my dates or buddies understand that if you make plans with me, you're practically making a binding deal with the devil: if you flake, I'm more than likely done with your @$$.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.