"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Things to say when she said "Oh, somethings came up, I can't make it tonight."
- Thread starter modolo
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LeviathanIYG
Banned
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2005
- Messages
- 304
- Reaction score
- 5
Need i say...... ****iness
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Social Engineering
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2005
- Messages
- 55
- Reaction score
- 0
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Criminal Mind
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2005
- Messages
- 81
- Reaction score
- 0
... ok maybe not.
I've had a girl do that to me before. I just ignored her SMS... the next day she replied saying she was "bursting to go out with me"... so maybe there is something there.
Best thing to do is tell her it's no problem, but how about next Wednesday (or any specific day).
I thought I was getting the brush off not so long ago when a girl told me she needed to revise for an exam and couldn't see me. However, I suggested the following week and she took me up on it.
KansasKid
New Member
If a girl really wants to hang out with you, she will make time. So if something really comes up, you dont have to say anything special. Tell her you understand and to give you a call sometime.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
Legitimate reasons are acceptable. i.e. death in the family, family member in the hospital, car broke down, etc. Sometimes sh!t happens and it derails the date. Enough said about that.
Now, here`s what you do when setting up the date. After the date, time and venue have been set, do what David D advises:
HB: "Ok, see you then".
You: "Now, you`re not going to flake on me are you?"
Most if not all girls would say: "Of course not".
Here`s the clincher:
You: "Good because that would be disrespectful. I haven`t been disrespectful to you and I won`t tolerate you being disrespectful to me. If you flake then that will put our friendship into serious jeopardy".
Then say bye and hangup or walk away, whatever you need to in order to end the conversation.
I have personally used this technique with great success. It tells the girl that you won`t tolerate any flakiness because it`s disrespectful to you as a man and she will respect you as a man.
Secondly, adding in the bit about friendship throws her off and gets her guessing, "What did he mean by friendship? Am I not girlfriend material? I`m going to talk to my girlfriends about this. Blah, blah, blah".
During the date of course, you roll with your own DJ style and run with it.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
If I'm bored, and I've got nothing to lose, I'll go with TylerDurden's advice, which is pretty much what I've always done. I've hooked up with girls on a few occasions who initially tried to flake but I talked them into a date. More often than not, though, she's low interest and will LJBF you even if you do talk her out to the date, so don't even think about paying for her.
On the rare occasion, flaky behavior actually signals high interest - i.e. she agreed to a date she shouldn't have because she really wanted to go out with you, but after thinking about it more she realized that she really needed to take care of her responsibilities. If she has high interest, though, chances are she'll counter-offer or give you days that she's available.
If you're busy, or not in the mood to deal with the prospect of spending an evening with a girl who doesn't want to hook up, go with JC's advice. If you're bored, or willing to experiment, or she's really that great that you just have to give it a shot, give TD's advice a shot.
Derek Flint
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2002
- Messages
- 1,731
- Reaction score
- 40
DJHoolahoop
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2005
- Messages
- 384
- Reaction score
- 2
yeah i was going to say this one right here. This way if they REALLY DO feel bad about it, they will say how they'll make it up to you. Or you can tell them how they can make it up to you and let them know NOT to disappoint again, or you'll just "remember that you can't make it out any night with her."
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Alphathree
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2005
- Messages
- 404
- Reaction score
- 1
The problem isn't WHAT TO SAY in response to "Oh something's come up", it is WHY that got said in the first place.
It doesn't matter if you quote shakespeare or write a poem or give a one-word grunt, she's already decided to flake out on you. THAT is the problem.
Next thing we know, AFCs are going to be asking, "I keep cutting myself with this knife... what kind of bandage is best for which parts of the body?"
Stop cutting yourself with the damned knife!
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
It`s not about being "dramatic".
By the time you`ve set up a date with a prospect that you`re qualifying, she`s had a glimpse that you`re a fun guy, with his life together, going places, doing things and achieving your goals in life.
Now give her a little glimpse that you`re not to be trifled with and that you do have an edge, in case there`s any doubt in the chica`s mind that you`re for real or not. No woman should ever think that she can pull sh!t on a man and get away with it. If any of the prospects that are being qualified want to test if you`re the real deal or not, let them. You`re up for it.
Again, this has worked for me and may not work for others. Try it for yourself and see.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
I can agree with this method.
This one chic tried to flake on me at the last possible minute, and I explained to her in a calm yet stern manner that I would have a problem arranging any date with her in the future if she continues to illustrate how unreliable she can be. The girl apologized, agreed to go, was pretty timid at the date (kept asking me if it was all right if she went to the bathroom), etc. I, then, realized that I had to lighten up even more than usual to dispel any possible misconceptions on her part that I was some "control freak;" therefore, I turned my C+F routine up a notch and she seemed to relax more and more. We had fun.
The downside to all of that is that we don't see each other as much any more, due to the fact that she believes that I'm not "flexible" enough when we arrange dates (******** for: "He's not some back-up date or chump in waiting"). That's fine, though, because all of my dates or buddies understand that if you make plans with me, you're practically making a binding deal with the devil: if you flake, I'm more than likely done with your @$$.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.