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Things got ugly... Really Ugly....

In2theGame

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Like the title says, it got very ugly on Friday night. So after I was done with work, I got a few things done and then headed to my girlfriends apartment. She had her friend over and when I walked in, they were both on the bed and of course I made a sexual joke about it and they laughed. Things were normal as can be for a while, we all had some food and chilled. Then I did my usual of lighting up a cigar and drink some whiskey and they started drinking their wine.

We all sat on the sofa, talking and watching some TV and they are drinking a good amount of Wine and I've already had a couple of glasses of Whiskey.... so you see where this is headed. Fast forward to some time later. I have my arm around my chick on my right side and her friend is sitting on my left side with her feet under my legs... I start getting flirty (I do this a lot when I drink) but my girlfriend starts falling asleep and me and her friend are talking. I start talking about things my girlfriend and I have already talked about in regards to sexual activities that include her friend. I wasn't saying anything that my girlfriend doesn't already know. Anyway... Her friend admits that she's starting to get turned on by what I'm saying.... and this is when the chaos was about to erupt.

My girlfriend suddenly wakes up and gets up and I can tell she's upset. Her friend see's this as well and feels like she should leave, which she does. Once her friend left... my girlfriend starts assuming that I was trying to hook up with her friend behind her back which I wasn't. I was talking about the three of us and again, I didnt say anything that my GF didnt know. I don't know if it's because of all of the alcohol she drank that night but she wasn't trying to listen or hear any of it.... She literally starts yelling and screaming at me non stop. I obviously start yelling at her to calm the fvck down and listen but she kept saying I was a "piece of sh!t" for trying to go behind her back. The yelling and screaming got louder and this is where she crossed the line.. she hit me in my face.

Right after that I started packing all my sh!t up to leave so I don't let my anger retaliate. I know people could hear her yelling and screaming and I started thinking about someone calling the Police to come check out what is going on. The potential for me getting in trouble with the cops was there so I wanted to leave but she wouldn't let me. Getting in my way and yelling, she hit me again by my face and I grabbed her by her wrists and restrained her. I threw her on the bed to get out of my way. Her screaming and yelling at me with insults kept on for a while and next she tried to hit me on the head and violently grabs my d!ck... I lost it and grabbed her by her face and had her up against the wall. I told her to never put her fvcking hands on me like that ever again. I started to see red and was ready to explode but I took a deep breath and let her go. I grabbed my things and headed out of the apartment waiting for the elevator. She came out to the hallway and not letting me go begging me not to leave.

She pleaded for me to come back in the apartment... I shouldn't have but i did. there was no telling what she'd do if i did leave.... hurt herself? call the cops and falsely accuse me of punching her or hitting her? I don't know.

After a while she just starts crying non stop and telling she's sorry and she kept blaming her friend but i kept trying to explain to her that it wasnt her friend that started anything, it was me who initiated the conversation and all the things I was saying was previously discussed with her first. By the time all this settled down a bit, it was 5am. At this point she was exhausted and we started falling asleep. My eyes stood open for a bit because I'm thinking this relationship is over. In bed she starts wanting to get close to me because I was on the far end of the bed. I was still heated that she hit me in the face.

The next day she starts apologizing non stop about everything once she finally heard what I had to say and what actually happened. She apologizes to her friend via. text. The whole day she kept on and off crying saying how sorry she was for getting violent and hitting me. I had a scratch on my neck and my hand from her. Once she saw that, she started crying and saying sorry. The whole day she wanted to hug on me and asked me if there is literally anything she can do for me. I just kept telling her no but she made me food, wanted to massage my back and wanted me to fvck her (which I did in every hole).

By Sunday... I still couldn't shake that anger inside of me that i let someone get away with hitting me in my face and now questioning how crazy this Woman can get. What if I ever get the cops called on me? or what is she capable of if she ever got upset at me like she was. How would she react if we ended up in a divorce?

She went on to tell me that she feels Karma is going to try to get her because she was willingly hooking up with someone that was engaged and she clearly knew about it. I don't know about all that but I really wasn't trying to be sneaky about it or hide anything. Anyway... I know this is a long read but trying to get your thoughts on the guys who have dealt with violent Women in their lives? Is this a hidden characteristic my GF has that i need to take heed?


It's been 9 years since I have been in a relationship and this is what i'm dealing with now.
 

Billtx49

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Put her in your rearview mirror immediately. Women punching men at Any time is unacceptable. She obviously has deeper psychological issues than you currently know, and they should not be yours to deal with in the future…
 

Lookatu

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Both of you were drinking and I'm not defending her in any way.

How long has she been your GF and have you ever been in any other argument with her and has she ever hit you before?

If it was just this one moment and no other history and you two get along otherwise, I would tell her that you are willing to give her one more chance but that's it. And you should tell her never to assume and accuse you of things like that in the future.

I would hope if you messed up somewhere along the way, she'd give you another chance too but either way, it might be good to be the better man in this regard(but not foolish).

Too bad you weren't in Russia or you could've smacked her back with little to no recourse. I don't advocate hitting girls but I like Russian law in that regard because it keeps females in check.
 

bat soup

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[She literally starts yelling and screaming at me non stop. I obviously start yelling at her to calm the fvck down and listen but she kept saying I was a "piece of sh!t" for trying to go behind her back. The yelling and screaming got louder and this is where she crossed the line.. she hit me in my face. ]

Here's where you get off the bus. You should have walked out as soon as she started screaming. Now that she's crossed the line and become violent, my advice would be never to see her again.
 

Black Widow Void

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Hate to say this, but anything other than "goodbye" will be a green light to her to do this again.
If this is your first relationship in a while, you may try to make excuses for her behavior. I can guarantee that if you do, it'll come back to haunt you.

Even if you end this, I doubt that she'll quietly disappear. Considering what she's done, you'd be wise to issue her a restraining order. This will help in your defense - should things not smoothly end (and I doubt that this will).
 

In2theGame

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Both of you were drinking and I'm not defending her in any way.

How long has she been your GF and have you ever been in any other argument with her and has she ever hit you before?

If it was just this one moment and no other history and you two get along otherwise, I would tell her that you are willing to give her one more chance but that's it. And you should tell her never to assume and accuse you of things like that in the future.

I would hope if you messed up somewhere along the way, she'd give you another chance too but either way, it might be good to be the better man in this regard(but not foolish).

Too bad you weren't in Russia or you could've smacked her back with little to no recourse. I don't advocate hitting girls but I like Russian law in that regard because it keeps females in check.
Yes, I told her to never touch me like that again. I had to really restrain myself from physically hurting her. Definitely do not want anyone hitting me like that. We had some small arguments in the past and she has gotten a bit loud but nothing too crazy like it was above. That was on a whole different level. We've been together now a year and a half.
 

bat soup

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Yes, I told her to never touch me like that again. I had to really restrain myself from physically hurting her. Definitely do not want anyone hitting me like that. We had some small arguments in the past and she has gotten a bit loud but nothing too crazy like it was above. That was on a whole different level. We've been together now a year and a half.
I´d get out of there. Next time it could be worse - she could hit you and provoke you and you could end up getting into some real trouble. Remember that according to feminists, equality means that it´s always the man's fault.
 

Lookatu

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Yes, I told her to never touch me like that again. I had to really restrain myself from physically hurting her. Definitely do not want anyone hitting me like that. We had some small arguments in the past and she has gotten a bit loud but nothing too crazy like it was above. That was on a whole different level. We've been together now a year and a half.
Personally if she has been good to you for 1.5 years and never had any incident like that before, also considering there was alcohol involved, I'd weigh that into whatever choice you make. It will not make you look any weaker or foolish if you decide to give it another chance as we are all third party looking in. We don't know what your relationship is like with her otherwise.

If you still have any marks or texts from her admitting wrong doing on her part, I'd file that away as a backup just in case for the future.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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from my experience a woman that puts her hands on you usually will do it again,one day she could assault you pretty bad and you could end up winding back and slapping the taste out of her mouth before you even realize what happened so it’s not worth the risk
I would leave her alone , or At the very least pullback for a few months and wouldn’t even drink around her .
It also seems likely that she wasn’t even sleep and listened to the whole conversation ,which is very sneaky and you don’t need to tolerate that either.
 

Billtx49

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I had to really restrain myself from physically hurting her. Definitely do not want anyone hitting me like that.

We've been together now a year and a half.
If any woman takes you to your personal violence retaliation limit, she doesn’t respect you or she’s got mental issues.

If she has serious mental issues, they surface after enough time in that she starts feeling comfortable…
 

christie

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Worried about you.

This wasn't your fault.

Her violent actions were illegal and against your human rights.

Please do not accept being abused by any person on earth.

This is not love.

Protect your body and person. This is survival.

Please start spinning new plates completely outside this social circle.
 

metalwater

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hitting the face is reaction... grabbing and trying to damage the d!ck is different. notice she calmed down after finding out you are about to take drastic action with her. you can never do that, but in that moment she thought you might.

if the situation was reversed and it was her and one of your buddy and just the same situation otherwise would you be ok with it.

if you don't next her, take a second look for other red flags.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Something tells me deep down she likes this kind of drama or is otherwise drawn to it.

She cried and blamed her friend, showing that she was shifting blame. You took the bait and blamed yourself, when instead you should have held her accountable.

When you have feelings for a woman it's incredibly hard to hold her accountable when she plays the victim and cries. Your natural instinct is to protect her so you fall on the sword, even when it's really her fault. But by falling on the sword you're reinforcing her emotional irresponsibility.

You have to remain iced out to the point that her crying doesn't make you compromise your point of view, not even out of pity. Crying is not a valid argument, and shouldn't be respected as one.

Are you prepared to take another slap? Or maybe a kick to the balls? Or her grabbing a knife? You're playing with fire when there are better options, you should ask yourself why you're tolerating this. She may not directly kill you, she may try to drive you to kill yourself by exploiting the things you let slide, so be extremely careful.

She won't have the goal of you killing yourself, she'll just want to cause pain. But over time that pain will take a toll, especially if you're trying to hold things together.

Call your price and when that price is met you MUST commit to getting out. Look at the flags, don't ignore them, your life and time are precious. Treat them as such.

Many women would never dare hit you, never dare yell at you, never dare play the victim when they're at fault.

If you sense it hard to uphold your principles then disengage until you're iced out. Never fear missing the boat, there are literally billions of them.
 

In2theGame

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Personally if she has been good to you for 1.5 years and never had any incident like that before, also considering there was alcohol involved, I'd weigh that into whatever choice you make. It will not make you look any weaker or foolish if you decide to give it another chance as we are all third party looking in. We don't know what your relationship is like with her otherwise.

If you still have any marks or texts from her admitting wrong doing on her part, I'd file that away as a backup just in case for the future.
Yes, she's been good and submissive for most of this relationship but this was over the top.

And yes, I have all texts saved just in case.
 

In2theGame

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I appreciate all the answers here on SS. I'm at my own place now and she's just been texting me all day wondering how I am. Apologizing and such. I just don't take being hit lightly at all and I don't let that slide easily. Especially if you're going to violently grab my d!ck.

There's just things on my mind that have me wondering if all this is worth it and if this Woman is just crazy deep down inside. I've known her for a while (few years) before getting involved in an LTR but I've never seen her like this. I don't want this to ever happen again, not because i'm afraid of her getting violent with me again but that I will retaliate with full force and hurt her. I end up arrested and my legal reputation down the drain.
 

r4zorsharp

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Holy ****, I would be thinking "wtf did they both plan this ****?" lol id be upset my girl didn't trust me. but yo, that went overboard quickly..

sounds very cookoo. i'd next her real quick
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Put her in your rearview mirror immediately. Women punching men at Any time is unacceptable. She obviously has deeper psychological issues than you currently know, and they should not be yours to deal with in the future…
+1

The best of us men could snap out and literally Bobby Brown her. Op, bish dead to you.
 
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