"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

There's this girl...

lord_mike

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 16, 2004
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Age
55
So, I got a little problem here.... I met this girl (not a girl anymore, she's 28, I'm 33). Had a date with her, went very well. She's very pretty, the best looking chick I've dated since my divorce. She basically invited herself over my house to watch the Browns game on Sunday (woo hoo!!!)... So, what's the problem you say?

I did well on the first date, because my expectations were low (she's a hottie and hotties don't usually go for me), had memorized the DJ bible, and I had a headache which forced me to focus on what I was saying instead of all the other bull**** that "nice guys" focus on during a date (and subsequently blowing it).

Now that my headache is gone, and the prospect of success with this hottie is in reach, my inner nice guy is roaring back, trying to break through again. I'm in a constant 24-hour battle to keep him at bay. This isn't good. I already slipped up a bit on the phone with her last night, but recognized the problem and recovered quickly (fortunately) and repaired any damage. Of course, nice guy is replaying the phone mistake scenario over and over, making me anxious, insecure, and well, nice guy! I also and trying to fight any expectations on Sunday, but I know my inner nice guy is saying "I hope I score! I hope I score!!" (with apologies to Kent Dorfman from Animal House).

Thank God I'm a good actor and can hide it quite well, but the enemy is at the gates and is ready to break through. I know this is bad, but I can't seem to stop it. Please help before I blow a great opportunity (like I'd often do in the old days)!!!

Thanks,

Mike
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Aztec

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2001
Messages
1,383
Reaction score
1
Location
New Jersey
What's the problem?

I think recognizing your mistake and rectifying it is good.

It's probably hard to be accustomed again to dating since you were married but it will come to you.
 

Cleatus VanDamme

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 29, 2004
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Aztec
It's probably hard to be accustomed again to dating since you were married but it will come to you.
Word! I got married while in grad school - back in college it was too easy to meet people. Then, divorced at age 32....ulp!! It took a while to get back in the groove, to say the least.

At least you are forearmed with knowledge! Don't think about things too much, act on your DJ instincts, and don't let a chance to make a move pass you up.
 

sustainable007

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
197
Reaction score
1
SMACK!!!

That was a smack to help you snap out of it...You are making a cardinal sin by placing so much value in what she is going to do....Remember that a DJ is the catch and there is a plentiful supply of beautiful women so dont take yourself so f*U*c*k*i*n*g seriously.....Just relax and let the ride take it where you may...and remember to apply the genius paradox....
 

Slickster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2003
Messages
2,517
Reaction score
215
Location
Canada
Hey Man,

This chick already has high interest if she's inviting herself over to watch football. That is an attempt to impress you.

You are the man! Forget about how hot she is and maintain the attitude that she has to qualify herself to you before you become interested. She may be hot but you are hotter. She has to prove herself and that's going to take more than a couple dates.

So stop the worrying. In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson's character Jules from Pulp Fiction, "Chill the f*ck out!"
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top