There's this girl...

lord_mike

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So, I got a little problem here.... I met this girl (not a girl anymore, she's 28, I'm 33). Had a date with her, went very well. She's very pretty, the best looking chick I've dated since my divorce. She basically invited herself over my house to watch the Browns game on Sunday (woo hoo!!!)... So, what's the problem you say?

I did well on the first date, because my expectations were low (she's a hottie and hotties don't usually go for me), had memorized the DJ bible, and I had a headache which forced me to focus on what I was saying instead of all the other bull**** that "nice guys" focus on during a date (and subsequently blowing it).

Now that my headache is gone, and the prospect of success with this hottie is in reach, my inner nice guy is roaring back, trying to break through again. I'm in a constant 24-hour battle to keep him at bay. This isn't good. I already slipped up a bit on the phone with her last night, but recognized the problem and recovered quickly (fortunately) and repaired any damage. Of course, nice guy is replaying the phone mistake scenario over and over, making me anxious, insecure, and well, nice guy! I also and trying to fight any expectations on Sunday, but I know my inner nice guy is saying "I hope I score! I hope I score!!" (with apologies to Kent Dorfman from Animal House).

Thank God I'm a good actor and can hide it quite well, but the enemy is at the gates and is ready to break through. I know this is bad, but I can't seem to stop it. Please help before I blow a great opportunity (like I'd often do in the old days)!!!

Thanks,

Mike
 

Aztec

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What's the problem?

I think recognizing your mistake and rectifying it is good.

It's probably hard to be accustomed again to dating since you were married but it will come to you.
 

Cleatus VanDamme

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Originally posted by Aztec
It's probably hard to be accustomed again to dating since you were married but it will come to you.
Word! I got married while in grad school - back in college it was too easy to meet people. Then, divorced at age 32....ulp!! It took a while to get back in the groove, to say the least.

At least you are forearmed with knowledge! Don't think about things too much, act on your DJ instincts, and don't let a chance to make a move pass you up.
 

sustainable007

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SMACK!!!

That was a smack to help you snap out of it...You are making a cardinal sin by placing so much value in what she is going to do....Remember that a DJ is the catch and there is a plentiful supply of beautiful women so dont take yourself so f*U*c*k*i*n*g seriously.....Just relax and let the ride take it where you may...and remember to apply the genius paradox....
 

Slickster

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Hey Man,

This chick already has high interest if she's inviting herself over to watch football. That is an attempt to impress you.

You are the man! Forget about how hot she is and maintain the attitude that she has to qualify herself to you before you become interested. She may be hot but you are hotter. She has to prove herself and that's going to take more than a couple dates.

So stop the worrying. In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson's character Jules from Pulp Fiction, "Chill the f*ck out!"
 
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