"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The ultimate red flag comes out.

MillionBillionaire

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So here is an update.

I've had enough good and bad relationships to know where this one stands, and the problems I could have in the future.

I have been distancing myself from her gradually as to not raise suspicion.

Meanwhile I have been thinking of thinner, younger, blonder girls that don't have kids, but pretty much treats me as good.

It is hard to go from everything all gravy to breakup mode for something she didn't do.

I'm not a ice cold pimp but I"m not a dumbass.

I'm not going to wife her up, or give her a kid (another red flag).

Just going to pump a few more times (she too good) then do what I have always done.

I appreciate all the hate, flames and genuine advice.

she just going to be plate #2

She not gf status never will be.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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flowtheory

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Not the lady, but your reactions to the community when we're trying to tell you what's the deal. I'm no Casanova, but I even saw it as clear as day.
Gotcha.
Haven’t read through this thread
 

ariesc

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Personally, I believe the reason she got attached so fast is because the lack of stability in her personal life. She lost both her parents and has a child which is a huge responsibility. A responsibility that you will most definetly inherit along with all the expenses that comes along with having a child. She is looking to you as a provider both emotionally and financially. You need to stop and think for a second why she's treating you so well. For every action there is intent. What is her intent? I would guess it's to lock you down so she can not only have an emotional rock in her life but also have some form of stability when it comes to resources because being a single female parent is probably one of the most terrifying positions for a middle aged woman. If she's pretty, she knows that's a depreciating asset. Meaning the longer it takes for her to find a suitor the less options she will have and she'll either have to settle with someone she's not particularly crazy about but needs support or she'd just take on the burden of raising and support her child by her lonesome. I don't care what anyone says, being a single parent is difficult... Hell, having a kid, while being in a marriage is difficult... I would ask myself why you like this woman so much. What kind of qualities does she have that makes you jump to the conclusion that she is wifey material? You've been with her since Feb? It usually takes 2 years to really get to know the person before making that assumption. Is she is hot, has good values, has her own assets (financially), and isn't mentally unstable, then MAYBE you can consider an LTR but any woman who already has a kid from a previous relationship are extremely tough to trust because no matter what she tells you, her kid will always come first. That being said, you should probably take a step back and try to not be blinding by this honeymoon phase of the relationship.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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RickTheToad

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Dude, I went through this a few months ago, but walked away when she started playing games. She'll be all nice and charming until she thinks she's hooked you and then turn the tables. You are dead last in her life. It's her kids, her, her job, her dog fido, bills, food, travel, cars, taking a dump, menstrual period, then you.

Hard pass.
 
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