"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Still Unanswered question: C+F vs Charm

onthepath

Don Juan
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hi guys
i wanted to hear your experiences in adopting these two different schools of thought
i've been having some great success with C+F and a don't give a **** attitude - but i'm attracting the wrong girls for me
i attract the more confident (nice quality) but more arrogant and b!tchy girls

so i wanted to try going the other way. i've heard, but never witnessed of charming men, who although use flattery, dont wind up being a kiss ass, and still end up with the cool chicks, and especilly the more LTR chicks

i got this ebook How to Win Friends and Influence People and i've listened to the first chapter or so, and it's talking about prtty much being pleasant, and less critical of others - it's some pretty inspiring stuff i might add

anyway, can you guys shed some light on the subject
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
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C&F is part of charm, thats like saying what is better a car or a set of car wheels.
 

Qmanchoo

Don Juan
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Here is way I look at it.

Wit is very charming to women.

C&F, _in part_, is a concept that helps you project a witty side to your personality. However, all the C&F things you say are somehow related to busting chops.

Is it healthy to always want to be subtley insulted by someone? Depends. Some women have a different emotional responses to it than others, however I've noticed that C&F attractes more of the "bad girls" thand "Good girls".

You can be witty, and as a result very charming, without busting balls.

Problem is that a lot of people aren't exactly witty. Or if they are it's not on call...only when they "are on a roll" so to speak.

That's where the concept of C&F helps you out.

As an extremely smart...off-the-wall-witty...and successful friend pointed out to me a long time ago "Busting balls got some women attracted to me, but wit worked on everyone and then I had my pick"
 

McKindley

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I'm never ****y with girls. I just can't pull it off (and trust me, I've tried). But I'm always funny. So I'll be charming and funny, but not ****y. You can project plenty of confidence without being ****y. ****y always seemed like fake confidence to me (but hey, it might not be with you. That's just the way it feels to me when I'm doing it).

As long as you're funny and charming and not self depricating you're doing fine.

Part of the reason I don't like the ****y thing is, I hate it when I just met a girl and she starts trying to bust my balls. I'm just thinking, "hey, I don't know you. quit trying to bust on me."

But hey, if it works for you, use it. It just doesn't work for me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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