The smoothest thing you ever said to a woman!

[MushroomGod]

"I rubbed one out thinking about you today."

 

[QuadraQuint]

The smoothest thing I've said was ironically one of the lamest lines I've used, jokingly of course.

"Is your dad a baker? 'cause you're a cutie pie"

Turns out, her dad really IS a baker! She took it as a great compliment and we laughed.

 

[TheCraziestJ]

Hello, Forums!

Greetings, forums!

This post marks my debut to these forums, though I’ve been a reader now for several years.

I’ll preface this by mentioning I am a 23 year old recent college graduate who has been a professional guitar player and singer for the last five years. Between that and being a prominent member of the greek community at my school, I’ve got more than my fair share of stories to tell, but there are a few gems I’d like to bestow upon these forums:


After a lengthy comversation:
Girl: So do you think you’re going to sleep with me?
TheCraziestJ: Well, I don’t think we’ll be sleeping…

Following a show at a private house party:
Girl: I bet you hook up with lots of girls after concerts, don’t you?
TheCraziestJ: You’ll be the first…
Girl: Really?
TheCraziestJ: …Tonight.
(that one got me a slap)

At a grocery store yesterday afternoon, I was buying, among other things, a good bottle of wine:
TheCraziestJ: (to cute girl working cash register) So how old do you need to be to sell alcohol?
RegisterGirl: 18 to scan, 19 to carry, 21 to pour
TheCraziestJ: …and any old age to enjoy *wink*
RegisterGirl: So what’s the wine for?
TheCraziestJ: That depends, what time do you get off of work?
Etc etc etc

To a girl with blue and pink streaks in her hair at a frat party:
TheCraziestJ: Hey, Calico, toss me a beer!

To the cute girl who works at Arby’s:
TheCraziestJ: I knew there was a reason I was thinking Arbys…

While at the bowling alley last Thursday:
HB7: (to some guy she’s bowling with in the lane next to mine) Hey! Let go of my ball!
TheCraziestJ: Amazing! I Think it, you say it!
(she doesn’t seem to get the humor)
TheCraziestJ: Don’t worry, you’ll understand it a little later.

My frat brother had this gem:
At a Hawaiian themed party to a girl with a flower in her hair:
StLouisBlues: Nice flower, wanna loose it?

Some time at the frat hosue, I don’t remember exactly when:
Girl: You’re just like James Bond!
TheCraziestJ: (with a pinch of a Sean Connery accent) I’m afraid, Miss Monneypenny, that I’m way better than him.

At a bar in a nearby town a few weeks ago:
TheCraziestJ: (taps girl on shoulder) My friend thinks you’re a lesbian, I think we should prove him wrong.

While at a frat party:
GirlIKnow: Will you play guitar for me and my friends?
TheCraziestJ: Maybe. Will you swoon for me?

Quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said that ended in a hook-up:
TheCraziestJ: (out of the blue) So I realize we’re not gunna hook up tonight, so could you just slap me now to save me the time…

I may have some more goodies for you all in the near future, we’ll how this week pans out.

-J.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Girl: You always seem so happy when I see you!
Me: Maybe it's because whenever you are around I can't help but be happy.
Girl: Wow, that was smooth...
Me:

 

[Moly]

I had just met this one girl in the hall who was friend of another chick I knew, and after a few minutes of conversation, she said:

"You're such a cutie."

I took it almost as an insult and said with a sexy grin on my face...

"Hey, I'm more than that, trust me." *wink*

She just kind of melted all over me after that.

Damn, there is this girl that always calls me cute, I'm so going to use this on her the next time she says it

 

[dfb808]

Approached a chick on the bus.
Me: Wow thats a huge ring, it's not an engagement ring is it?
Her: No
Me: I'll keep that in mind =)

 

[2.0]

While at the bowling alley last Thursday:
HB7: (to some guy she’s bowling with in the lane next to mine) Hey! Let go of my ball!
TheCraziestJ: Amazing! I Think it, you say it!
(she doesn’t seem to get the humor)
TheCraziestJ: Don’t worry, you’ll understand it a little later.

I don't get it either... were you calling her a shemale?

 

[Ken785]

Girl: You always seem so happy when I see you!
Me: Maybe it's because whenever you are around I can't help but be happy.
Girl: Wow, that was smooth...
Me:

that was classic AFC, not smooth newbie...

 

[ARrocket]

not the smoothest, but this is something pretty smooth I said a few weeks ago

(we were at work, and she was trying to get me to take a shift for her)
Her: want to take a shift for me?
Me: nah, cant.
Her: c'mon, you know you love me
Me: ... *looked up her body slowly, then right in her eyes* parts of you.
Her: :O! *slaps me on the chest playfully*
Me: *smirk*

I have GOT to try this. Great stuff.

 

[moosebutter]

She forgot my name, after just meeting

I've got a few, but this one has got to be my favorite. This is just after we both moved into the same apartment complex.
Me: Hi Jenny
Her: I've forgotten your name
Me: Oh, that's ok. It's Mike. I have a hard time remembering girls' names after I've met them, especially if they're attractive. I was lucky with your name.
Her: (Looks embarrassed) (She makes an attempt to say my name, but forgets again)
Me: Oh, I must be attractive. It's Mike.

Her friend is sitting next to her and purposefully calls me by the wrong name just before we part ways. She forgot my name again. It was classic.

 

[moosebutter]

BTW, we went on a date. It went pretty well. Regrettably, I didn't pursue. FYI

 

[ARrocket]

I've got a few, but this one has got to be my favorite. This is just after we both moved into the same apartment complex.
Me: Hi Jenny
Her: I've forgotten your name
Me: Oh, that's ok. It's Mike. I have a hard time remembering girls' names after I've met them, especially if they're attractive. I was lucky with your name.
Her: (Looks embarrassed) (She makes an attempt to say my name, but forgets again)
Me: Oh, I must be attractive. It's Mike.

Her friend is sitting next to her and purposefully calls me by the wrong name just before we part ways. She forgot my name again. It was classic.

I think that one all depends on your delivery....it's easy to make that one sound bad lol.

 

[Purple-Haze]

This may be cliche...but it definitely caught my attention.

He and I were joking and I was engaging in a little bit of flirty verbal sparring. I said something (alluding to his inability to woo me...anyway this wasn't explicit but was the gist of the jokey "tehe" flirting).

Anyway, he responded with, "baby, I ain't no one-trick pony." It was the way he said it, the pause before he said it, and that sexy laugh after he said it.

*SWOOOOON*

 

[ARrocket]

This may be cliche...but it definitely caught my attention.

He and I were joking and I was engaging in a little bit of flirty verbal sparring. I said something (alluding to his inability to woo me...anyway this wasn't explicit but was the gist of the jokey "tehe" flirting).

Anyway, he responded with, "baby, I ain't no one-trick pony." It was the way he said it, the pause before he said it, and that sexy laugh after he said it.

*SWOOOOON*

Umm....how exactly is that cliche?

I think this reiterates how important it is that no matter what you say, you have to say it with confidence and with power.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Umm....how exactly is that cliche?

I think this reiterates how important it is that no matter what you say, you have to say it with confidence and with power.

Well the phrase "one trick pony" is cliche b/c I've heard that line before (in various contexts).

 

[Dias]

I was talking with a girl I had met a week before, telling her we could have a date listening to great music one night.
HB8 : "And what makes you think I'll go with you ?"
Me : "Humm, this is true. I'll go with worthier chicks than you then *smile*"
HB8 : *smiling and acting as she was offended* "Ohhhh !"

Fvcked her three days later

 

[Supremo]

This isn't the SMOOTHEST but its pretty funny-
Happened today and I immediately thought of this forum as we laughed over it.

My girlfriend was texting me, and she said "blah blah... my moms in such a bad mood... everyone loves just taking it out on me"

To which I said, "you should come over to my place and let me take IT out on you."

To which she replied, "hahaha ok! hopefully you will take IT out on me a little nicer? "

 

[vicious_fishes]

after a small party/gathering i got left outside with this one girl as all the others (there were like 3 guys and 15 girls) went to pass out/sleep/etc.

i had already spent the entire night showing no heightened interest in them at all, teasing, etc.

so we're outside and i go

"so do you wanna hook up & tell them we didn't or not hook up & tell them we did ?"

however she answered, either way it was her saying she wanted me (and i subtly said it to her, but implied i was happy to have a little fun with her if not)

she ate it up, if she says she wants to hook up then you're on a winner. take control, drag her inside. if she says she wants to tell them we did even though we didn't, you say "ok come with me then" and drag her inside

 

[vicious_fishes]

oh and another...

"do you think you're going to (whatever, date, ****, etc) me ?"

"it's more fun to make you wonder "

she just sits there, looks kinda flabbergasted & then gets the bambi-eyes.

 

[jesliejamu]

smoothest thing

Well the smoothest thing i ever said to a woman was I love you but then i got slap from her rough hand.