slitherjef
Senior Don Juan
Yeah, its been a long time since I have been here. Perhaps its for the better. Things have come crashing down. The realization has hit. I am a freaking nice guy. Probably bordering on desperate.
I thought I was different then those other guys. I am not. I am a nice guy. And it took the loss of someone whom I did not want to lose to provide me with this realization. By not wanting to lose her, I lost her.
How bad was it? Well, really, you can't lose something you never had, right?
The major issues? Well, pretty much two biggies. The two biggest things whereas the implications are huge: Confidence, control and insecurity issues.
Wanna know what I did? Probably something so bad that I have very little, if any chance of, recovering from.
First: I friend zoned myself!
Second. I told her I liked her. I did this in fear that she was going to leave!
W.T.F :trouble:
There are other things I did too, but those where the major ones.
Well. She left anyway, later on, and all I got are the fantastic memories she provided me, at least at work.
Damn. I am a nice guy. I finally got to the point of where I could touch her arm, and lightly touch her cheek while I playfully put something in the tussle of hair she left sticking out. To the point I could make eye contact with her. And she is gone.
I guess all is not lost, yet, however. I learned something. That I am indeed a nice guy. I learned my thinking is all screwed up. I caught this while there may still be a slim glimmer of hope of actually getting some where with this girl. She is expecting me to contact her sometime this week for coffee this weekend. Perhaps I should just text her and say I can't make it and let her know I will reschedule. Then use this time to work on myself some more.
At this point the absolute best I can hope for is actually being friend zoned, at least I will have my foot in the door, kind of. By this, I mean we are on speaking terms. The small glimmer of hope. As long as she don't think I am a creep, I guess.
And yes. This is still nice guy stuff, still fawning over this girl, I get it. I should be out chasing other women. I get that now, too. I should have been doing that in the first place, but this shy introverted nice guy just don't have that kind of play in him. Its not my forte. But even so, I can make myself busy and try to talk to other women around the joint.
The bottom line is, the realization. I identified the fact I am a nice guy. Couple that with being a shy introvert, then, yeah, this happens. Now to do something about it. I can't change being an introvert. I can change being shy and I can change being some nice guy pushover who is looking for approval from girls, thinking that no one would want me. With an attitude like this, then who would?
I am thinking all wrong. Who would want me? No. Who do I want? ask not what I can do for her, but what she can do for me! And most importantly, I guess it really don't matter what you think, the outcome is not dependent on that. So, if that is the case, then I guess the proper attitude is, who gives a $#%% because no one else does.
Thats right. Who gives a rip. Screw the outcome because either way, it don't matter. If you are a nice guy, it don't matter if you are nice. I get it now.
I thought I was different then those other guys. I am not. I am a nice guy. And it took the loss of someone whom I did not want to lose to provide me with this realization. By not wanting to lose her, I lost her.
How bad was it? Well, really, you can't lose something you never had, right?
The major issues? Well, pretty much two biggies. The two biggest things whereas the implications are huge: Confidence, control and insecurity issues.
Wanna know what I did? Probably something so bad that I have very little, if any chance of, recovering from.
First: I friend zoned myself!
Second. I told her I liked her. I did this in fear that she was going to leave!
W.T.F :trouble:
There are other things I did too, but those where the major ones.
Well. She left anyway, later on, and all I got are the fantastic memories she provided me, at least at work.
Damn. I am a nice guy. I finally got to the point of where I could touch her arm, and lightly touch her cheek while I playfully put something in the tussle of hair she left sticking out. To the point I could make eye contact with her. And she is gone.
I guess all is not lost, yet, however. I learned something. That I am indeed a nice guy. I learned my thinking is all screwed up. I caught this while there may still be a slim glimmer of hope of actually getting some where with this girl. She is expecting me to contact her sometime this week for coffee this weekend. Perhaps I should just text her and say I can't make it and let her know I will reschedule. Then use this time to work on myself some more.
At this point the absolute best I can hope for is actually being friend zoned, at least I will have my foot in the door, kind of. By this, I mean we are on speaking terms. The small glimmer of hope. As long as she don't think I am a creep, I guess.
And yes. This is still nice guy stuff, still fawning over this girl, I get it. I should be out chasing other women. I get that now, too. I should have been doing that in the first place, but this shy introverted nice guy just don't have that kind of play in him. Its not my forte. But even so, I can make myself busy and try to talk to other women around the joint.
The bottom line is, the realization. I identified the fact I am a nice guy. Couple that with being a shy introvert, then, yeah, this happens. Now to do something about it. I can't change being an introvert. I can change being shy and I can change being some nice guy pushover who is looking for approval from girls, thinking that no one would want me. With an attitude like this, then who would?
I am thinking all wrong. Who would want me? No. Who do I want? ask not what I can do for her, but what she can do for me! And most importantly, I guess it really don't matter what you think, the outcome is not dependent on that. So, if that is the case, then I guess the proper attitude is, who gives a $#%% because no one else does.
Thats right. Who gives a rip. Screw the outcome because either way, it don't matter. If you are a nice guy, it don't matter if you are nice. I get it now.