The Psychology of Ignoring Women

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Welp dude it is the internet. Lol try not to make it personal.
I dont think anyone expects you to not defend your takes but I think what happebed was your opener was abrasive. Thats it

Bro, the comment was based upon a prior thread that I created where it seemed as if some beta naysayers were attacking my proven theory.

So the comment was a preface to that recent experience.

I didn't just say it out the blue with no purpose lol.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Ahhh yes. The ignoring strategy is like biting the targets with "venom" (hint, hint), and slowly watching the venom take its effect.

Like death and taxes, sooner or later, it is gonna get to them.

An when it happens, you are in full control. You decide whether you want to make her suffer longer, or will you release the hold you have on her and go in for the kill.

Either way, you control this.

Good stuff.

she's definitely going to get asked out by me in some form at the holiday party, i'll just have to read the situation

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

why can't the position just stand up on its own merits to questioning and community, why do you feel like you need to be in here like johnny cochran defending it every time someone says something you don't like about it?

For a few reasons...

1. It ain't what you say, it is how you say it...and I didn't like the tone that some of these folks came at me with.

2. Telling me that something "doesn't work", when it has already been tested/proven that it works...and when it is coming from some people who admittedly never even tested it...to me, is ludacris. They are bringing opinions to a fact fight, and yeah, it is frustrating to have to deal with that.

3. It is like, lets say you are a mathematician, and you got some guy(s) telling you that 7x7=96...and you try to explain to them in MANY different ways how they are incorrect, and that 7x7=49...but they insist on 96. It will make you frustrated.

I said all of that to say; dont start no stuff, won't be no stuff.

 

[RangerMIke]

Ignoring women as a tactic doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. However, it does work if at some level a woman is interested in you.

Go for what you want, mirror the behavior of the woman. If she isn't giving you what you want, then ignore her because she is ignoring you.

At that point she has to figure out her own emotions... if she isn't interested, your ignoring her is giving her exactly what she wants... then you free your mind to pursue other women because you are not wasting time and emotional energy on something that is not likely to happen.

If she is interested and she is just playing games, and you ignore her because you are mirroring her behavior, and she is sane with a little confidence, she'll come around... when she does, you stop ignoring her. If she doesn't then she is not behaving like a normal woman that is interested in a man and you don't want that anyway.

Ignoring = freeing up your mind and time. Sometimes it works, usually it doesn't, but this is not something you control... it is all based on if the woman is interested in you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is also called No Contact or Silence and Distance and is discussed on here a LOT.

Let's not act like we just came up with some new method.

 

[derby1]

"I am the master and ruler of the world".

How is #4?

Any man who must say, "I am the King", is no true king

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

This is also called No Contact

First of all, the No Contact strategy is a method used to win your ex back who've DUMPED you...and obviously, that aint what we are talking about here.

If there is another No Contact strategy out there beyond that, then I am unaware of it.

or Silence and Distance and is discussed on here a LOT.

Well, we are discussing it again on my thread.

Let's not act like we just came up with some new method.

First of all, I never claimed that I came up with a new method and I can care less who created/founded the method.

All I know is, I discovered this method on my own without the advice or coaching from any other person...and I named it what I named it (ignoring method) because that is exactly what it is; an ignoring method.

And none of the dating coaches that I do follow has EVER mentioned this kind of a method...this is truly stuff that I noticed during my own walks of life....because when you are actually living the life and putting in the work, you begin to notice/discover sh!t organically...as opposed to biting off what the next man say/does.

 

[Mike32ct]

The OP isn’t proposing it as some kind of mitigation (ie damage control) measure to get over a chick, push back against Friendzone or punish a chick that disrespected you.

My reading of it was it’s a general method to handle attractive women in the social circle, even ones that have done nothing wrong.

 

[Pedrito0906]

So if I'm an extrovert guy, who likes to have fun, I see a cute women that I want to dance with, I shouldn't ask her to dance because I have to ignore her even though she's giving me IOIs to be perceived as higher value? I think the mere thinking of using a "strategy" to get her puts you in the afc category.

What happened to the old masculine approach to talk to her and if she's not interested then you move on? Just thinking out loud

Also, in any of those cases you mentioned gotten laid, so what was the point of ingoring them?

 

[DonJuanjr]

We could have done without the part calling forum community members beta in a blanket statement.

But then guys couldn't live their delusions of superiority...

 

[jimwho]

This is also called No Contact or Silence and Distance and is discussed on here a LOT.

Let's not act like we just came up with some new method.

I think I'm the old man here. 50-years ago we called it "playing hard to get" but it's not full blown ignoring.
Ignoring can peak interest in the beginning, like if a girl is being typically Flocked by the thirsty. She may notice
You are not invested and wonder why.

Op is inventing the wheel with attitude. Some women like that.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So if I'm an extrovert guy, who likes to have fun, I see a cute women that I want to dance with, I shouldn't ask her to dance because I have to ignore her even though she's giving me IOIs to be perceived as higher value?

As I stated, the strategy is meant to draw certain women towards you.

If she has already given you chosen signals, then obviously you don't need to draw her towards you, do you?

No, you don't. Therefore, the strategy would not be needed.

Common sense, fellas.

I think the mere thinking of using a "strategy" to get her puts you in the afc category.

A strategy is nothing but a plan that you put into play in order to get what you want.

Nothing more, nothing less.

What happened to the old masculine approach to talk to her and if she's not interested then you move on? Just thinking out loud

Sounds like cold approaching to me.

Been there, done that.

Also, in any of those cases you mentioned gotten laid, so what was the point of ingoring them?

I didn't get laid because for one reason or another, it was not in my best interest to go that route.

When you are a man of options and you have an abundance mindset, you can choose to turn down puzzy if you feel it is necessary to do so.

The point is; it was there if i wanted it, and the strategy that I used to get to where I got, worked.

That is the only thing you need to concern your with.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The OP isn’t proposing it as some kind of mitigation (ie damage control) measure to get over a chick, push back against Friendzone or punish a chick that disrespected you.

My reading of it was it’s a general method to handle attractive women in the social circle, even ones that have done nothing wrong.

This guy^.

He gets it.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I think I'm the old man here. 50-years ago we called it "playing hard to get" but it's not full blown ignoring.
Ignoring can peak interest in the beginning, like if a girl is being typically Flocked by the thirsty. She may notice
You are not invested and wonder why.

Op is inventing the wheel with attitude. Some women like that.

This guy^.

He also gets it.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I learned this in 7th grade. My older brother (senior) knew that I liked one girl. That one girl we all had in middle school - the one that matured and grew curvy and busty like overnight leaving all the other girls in the dust. She was also quite pretty.

My brother noticed how all the other boys orbited her, he told me to ignore her, not to orbit. Not to try to be part of her cliqué but be courteous and acknowledge her if/when she engaged.

Took a few months. In 8th grade I got to feel her up and play with her bountiful boobies at the time. We were 14-ish.

It does work. But you need to have your fundamentals right as a man to begin with.

Its like when you ask women what their top 3 traits are when choosing men. They say personality, confidence, and success most of the time, when further questioned it becomes clear that to even get to the point where you’re being considered for those top 3 you must pass the attractiveness test. It’s like so obvious to women they don’t even mention it - it’s like “duh” or “obvi”, as they say.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[Mike32ct]

My favorite "ignore-max" story.

Circa Y_2k.

I was a 30 yo 5'10" introvert guy with Chadlite hair and face*. I was with two normie-looking hardcore-extrovert tall 6'2" to 6'5" buddies. We are all at a bar. They were both gaming this blonde bartender chick HARD. She was laughing and engaged in the conversation. I just sat there in silence and never said a word to her. They had me "drowned out" in the conversation, and they mogged me to oblivion on height and personality/game. I had zero chance of competing in this conversation.

Finally, one of the buddies says to the bartender girl, "Hypothetically, if you were to hook up with one of the three of us, who would it be?" She points to me and says, "That guy."

My jaw dropped.

*Like Pierce said, there is still an attractiveness test to pass. There will ALWAYS be an important looks component. Ignoring alone is not sufficient.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

I think ignoring is only a useful method when someone says no to you or rejects you. Otherwise, as a man I believe you need to make your presence and needs known. I like to take a proactive approach and make an effort, but if she blows me off then I will ignore her and move on to the next girl. Then me ignoring is a byproduct of her actions, and she has to try to win me back. Otherwise, you are ignoring someone when they haven't even had the chance to gain any interest in you.

I think unless you are a celebrity or well known, and others give you social proof, women do not necessarily try to get your attention. It's a misbelief that by ignoring a chick you will get her. I know you shared real examples, but isn't it much easier to just make an effort, see the result and move on?

If you have a strong presence in the room, and the girl looks up to you there is no reason to ignore her. I feel like anything that is done consciously with women does not necessarily convert into the desired result. If you are intentionally ignoring someone, from your energy they can tell you are ignoring them. If you are unconsciously ignoring them because you are too focused on other things, they will pick up on that you do not even notice them, then they would want to get your attention. It's counter-intuitive and weird, but it is often the case.

I have ignored women like OP, however, I haven't done it intentionally but because I was busy or distracted by something else, and because that particular woman was not on my priority.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I have 34 years experience ignoring women. I should be dating supermodels

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Oh boy this topic. Look. Because beautiful women get hit on, whether in a direct or overt way or whether in an indirect or subtle way, day in and day out constantly guess what happens as a result of this day in day out conditioning?

Beautiful women develop impeccable radar and can sense interest energy coming from a man. It is innate. Or it becomes innate. This is a biological survival mechanism in the hind brain. Historically women had to often rely on this skill for safety & survival. It’s quite powerful. She will thin slice you without you realizing it, especially if you have interest (in her) energy. She will know where you fall in relationship to your interest level (high interest, opportunistic interest, or no interest) by your vibe & your body language without you doing anything consciously.

If you have high interest or opportunistic interest and you ignore her? You come off creepy, weird, awkward or just plain rude. If she had any interest or curiosity about you? Well congratulations. You just greatly reduced your chances. You are broadcasting the wrong message without even realizing it. She reads the dissonance in the ignoring versus the interest level and it’s a bad reflection on you.

The whole premise of this theory reeks, I am sorry to say, and this is poor advice.

The ONLY exception is for those men (some contributing gallantly to this thread in fact) who are already normalized and acclimated to beautiful women who can ignore them because beautiful women then become another human being with proximity, not an (OMG she’s so HOT I want to fvck her SO bad) vibe but rather a (hey cool what’s up vibe)….Enormous difference. If I sense that a man is not trying to hump my leg mentally and he is normal energy & relaxed/easygoing? Then I can be cool too and be open toward him.

If I sense he is gamey or there is a (weirdly and poorly) hidden agenda? Oh FFS and facepalm. It broadcasts to the chick you like because you ARE being gamey and weird.

You don’t want a tactic or strategy gentlemen. You need to exude the relaxed energy.

Trust me. James Bond’s character is not EVER consciously going around purposefully ignoring beautiful women. He’s just there, cool, existing irrespective of them.

That’s the difference. It is a subtle but MONUMENTAL difference.

OP came off weird. When he gave the lady a thoughtful gift for Secret Santa? The weirdness finally went away because the dissonance between his interest intent and his weird behavior was finally resolved.

Women read this a mile away guys. Quit fooling yourselves and work on BEING the cool guy. That is why the bartender picked @Mike32ct over his try hard buddies. He’s just there being chill. He’s not ACTIVELY ignoring the chick.

And yea. At some point you gotta make some sort of move. Or your value starts to decline.

OP needs to practice socializing more in my view. With anyone & everyone. That will in time give the best results.

And yes, there is always an attractiveness threshold to pass as well. But weird behavior, try hard behavior, or dissonance can crash you even if you pass or exceed the attraction threshold.

Cheers.