"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Preflake

bigneil

bigneil

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Flaking is bad enough, but did you ever get the Preflake move? That's when you get a text like this:

"I'll let you know the morning of our date whether I can still go on our date. I need to see if (XYZ) happens or not."

When this happens, IMO you must immediately, formally cancel the event. This is the "Dump Her Before She Dumps You" philosophy applied to a date versus a relationship. Also known as "Calling Her On Her Bad Behavior". Hopefully she'll still have enough feelings for you to care but there is a good chance she was hoping you would do just that (The Preflake Motive).

I wonder: has anyone ever survived a Preflake? That is, you didn't cancel yourself had her actually go through with the date.

I also wonder whether at this point the entire relationship itself is lost, simply by her attempting a preflake.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Who Dares Win

Who Dares Win

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Learned this lesson the hard way, through mistakes but I can tell at gut level everybody realizes that there is something wrong.

Anyway I agree with your main message, sh1tty behaviour should automatically trigger the self-eject button.

Regarding your question, in this moment I believe any behaviour like this from her is a high red flag, working relationships dont show such signs nor interested undamaged girls behave that way.

Does a group of barbarians crossing the line means that the empire is felt? no but it means that the empire no longer can assure his borders and its just a matter of time till mre serious sh1t will come.
 
U

Uncharted

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I've had that happen before. Most recently, I texted a chick to go out (yes I know you're supposed to call) and she took 3 days to text back. We had been out for drinks once and knew each other through mutual friends.

I had already deleted her number by then. Who the F takes three days to get back to someone to go out? A woman I will never ask out again, that's who.
 
C

casaanova

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bigneil said:
That's when you get a text like this:

"I'll let you know the morning of our date whether I can still go on our date. I need to see if (XYZ) happens or not."
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If she tells you that straight up, that means you're her back-up dude. You made a misstep somewhere in the game and she put you on her B-list of guys (and trust me, you are not the only guy on her waitlist). She calls you when the guy she likes flakes on her. If she tells you this just delete the number and spin other plates, because back-up dudes don't get any pvssy - the 'date' will be purely platonic on her end.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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bigneil

bigneil

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In this case it's a girl I just had sex with Saturday night (and many other times prior). When she was leaving Sunday morning she made me promise to take her to a certain event this week, and she insisted I confirm a date (because to be honest, I flaked on her several times in a row). Then when I asked for Thursday I got the preflake message. Could this be a rare Revenge Pre Flake?
 
J

JohnChops

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No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
bigneil said:
In this case it's a girl I just had sex with Saturday night (and many other times prior). When she was leaving Sunday morning she made me promise to take her to a certain event this week, and she insisted I confirm a date (because to be honest, I flaked on her several times in a row). Then when I asked for Thursday I got the preflake message. Could this be a rare Revenge Pre Flake?
Click to expand...
that depends neil.... is it that same stripper from months ago?
 
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Mr. Bond

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I can see myself not responding. I have too many options to care if one flakes. It's gonna happen. No big deal.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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