"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The online dating profile contest

Jitterbug

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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Wilko

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I didn't have to read very far before something became apparent. Namely, the winning profiles are a boring, uncreative persons idea of what a good profile ought to look like (gee, who could I be talking about?!). It's the same reason why shows like American Idol manage to pull such huge ratings - they have broad, mainstream appeal, but just because something is popular, it doesn't necessarily follow that it's any good.

I've met some pretty discerning women online and I can promise you they'd find the three winning examples pretty gag-worthy. But, nauseating pap like that might work just fine on less discriminating women. Additionally, I don't doubt that even in a competition like this there would be a huge disconnect between what women say they like, and what they actually act on.
 

Wilko

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Just to expand on that, you can be fairly sure that the winners won because they had mild appeal to a large number of women. Mild appeal might get you new contacts, or help you win a "best profile" competition, but it's not going to get you laid.

A shorter, more polarising profile is going to screen for intense like/dislike. Intense appeal to a smaller group of women is going to result in more lays than lukewarm appeal to a larger group of women. If you're not alienating anybody with your profile, the "flavour" isn't strong enough yet. Strong flavours, intense like/dislike. Get it?
 

SamTheHobit

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Like online dating has any significance.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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A blank profile with a picture of a handsome man with abs trumps any of those lame profiles any day.

And what's funny is that it would get "bad reviews" because the guy would be seen as "arrogant" for showing off his body and all. Yet the first women to message him would be these "judges". Guaranteed. :crackup:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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