The official Borderline Personality Disorder thread [Merged]

[jophil28]

What is a NPD?

Perhaps your father.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Perhaps your father.

Maybe I am NPD. In that case, maybe the BPD and I are perfect for each other and we will be one of those couples who stay married for 50 years and stay loyal and true.

I can handle the BPD b!tch and her games because I can read her like a book now. She doesn't phase me anymore. I know how to keep her in line.

 

[jophil28]

Maybe I am NPD. In that case, maybe the BPD and I are perfect for each other and we will be one of those couples who stay married for 50 years and stay loyal and true.

I can handle the BPD b!tch and her games because I can read her like a book now. She doesn't phase me anymore. I know how to keep her in line.

NPDs and BPDs constantly fight to a draw with each one convinced that the next outbreak in hostilities will result in a personal victory.

Eventually they exhaust each other, and one moves on to recruit a new playmate and so their life movie is endlessly remade with a new cast of wackjobs, or unsuspecting normals.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

NPDs and BPDs constantly fight to a draw with each one convinced that the next outbreak in hostilities will result in a personal victory.

Eventually they exhaust each other, and one moves on to recruit a new playmate and so their life movie is endlessly remade with a new cast of wackjobs, or unsuspecting normals.

I told her I'm going to join the Taliban because they know how to keep their women in line.

Your post is interesting because we have already fought and we both found new playmates and we are back to square one again acting nice and sweet to each other because neither of us liked our new plates.

I'm not interested in fighting with her, I just got pissed when I found out she was trying to spin me and I went off.

 

[KontrollerX]

NPD is narcissistic personality disorder.

They have delusions of grandeur, lack empathy, care only about themselves, basically suck up to whoever is higher on the rung in hopes that they will one day be the master.

Lots of these scumbags along with the Psychopath Anti Social Personality Disordered were a part of Enron I'd be willing to guess.

From what I know of the Cluster B conditions it seems the best pairings are an ASPD with a BPD and an NPD with an HPD.

The disorders in my opinion are skilled at manipulation to this extent on my numbered list below beginning with #1 as greatest to #4 as least:

1. Sociopath ASPD- apex predator top of the food chain. Best manipulator of the group.

2. Borderline BPD- pathological liar, very unstable and angry, jekyll and hyde personality. Second best manipulator of the group.

3. Narcissist NPD- smooth talking snake lacking empathy. Best thrives in situations where they must come out on top in order to receive praise and accolades. Third best manipulator of the group though depending on how much praise they can acheive for succeeding at a particular manipulation they can in that instance rival the psychopath.

4. Histrionic HPD- extremely similar to the BPD but the anger is repressed, some professionals consider this and BPD to be the same disorder but this being the lower end of its extreme. Great manipulation skills when dealing with normal people, gets taken to the cleaners by other Cluster B's when it comes to manipulation mind games. Fourth and least effective manipulator of the group when dealing with other Cluster B's.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

NPD is narcissistic personality disorder.

They have delusions of grandeur, lack empathy, care only about themselves, basically suck up to whoever is higher on the rung in hopes that they will one day be the master.

Lots of these scumbags along with the Psychopath Anti Social Personality Disordered were a part of Enron I'd be willing to guess.

From what I know of the Cluster B conditions it seems the best pairings are an ASPD with a BPD and an NPD with an HPD.

The disorders in my opinion are skilled at manipulation to this extent on my numbered list below beginning with #1 as greatest to #4 as least:

1. Sociopath ASPD- apex predator top of the food chain. Best manipulator of the group.

2. Borderline BPD- pathological liar, very unstable and angry, jekyll and hyde personality. Second best manipulator of the group.

3. Narcissist NPD- smooth talking snake lacking empathy. Best thrives in situations where they must come out on top in order to receive praise and accolades. Third best manipulator of the group though depending on how much praise they can acheive for succeeding at a particular manipulation they can in that instance rival the psychopath.

4. Histrionic HPD- extremely similar to the BPD but the anger is repressed, some professionals consider this and BPD to be the same disorder but this being the lower end of its extreme. Great manipulation skills when dealing with normal people, gets taken to the cleaners by other Cluster B's when it comes to manipulation mind games. Fourth and least effective manipulator of the group when dealing with other Cluster B's.

I don't think I am NPD. Maybe I am a combination of them all. But this girl.... she is DEFINITALY BPD.. And I am not throwing the BPD term around loosely. I think this girl is FULL FLEDGED BPD. She needs help, I am going to try and get her to see a shrink.

This post from you describes her perfectly...

2. Borderline BPD- pathological liar, very unstable and angry, jekyll and hyde personality. Second best manipulator of the group.

 

[Bible_Belt]

NPD is narcissistic personality disorder.

They have delusions of grandeur, lack empathy, care only about themselves, basically suck up to whoever is higher on the rung in hopes that they will one day be the master.

Lots of these scumbags along with the Psychopath Anti Social Personality Disordered were a part of Enron I'd be willing to guess.

From what I know of the Cluster B conditions it seems the best pairings are an ASPD with a BPD and an NPD with an HPD.

The disorders in my opinion are skilled at manipulation to this extent on my numbered list below beginning with #1 as greatest to #4 as least:

1. Sociopath ASPD- apex predator top of the food chain. Best manipulator of the group.

2. Borderline BPD- pathological liar, very unstable and angry, jekyll and hyde personality. Second best manipulator of the group.

3. Narcissist NPD- smooth talking snake lacking empathy. Best thrives in situations where they must come out on top in order to receive praise and accolades. Third best manipulator of the group though depending on how much praise they can acheive for succeeding at a particular manipulation they can in that instance rival the psychopath.

4. Histrionic HPD- extremely similar to the BPD but the anger is repressed, some professionals consider this and BPD to be the same disorder but this being the lower end of its extreme. Great manipulation skills when dealing with normal people, gets taken to the cleaners by other Cluster B's when it comes to manipulation mind games. Fourth and least effective manipulator of the group when dealing with other Cluster B's.

My dad's dad has NPD. I guess he is technically my grandfather, but he does not seem worthy of the title, given that I have seen him twice I think. He ran off when my dad was 12, and that was back before child support so he never paid anything. He finished his doctorate right about the time his son dropped out of 9th grade, got promoted to full Colonel in the Army, and then taught upper level finance classes at the local state university. I remember that my dad had to study for months to try to understand fractions so he could pass the GED and go to truck driving school. That was the point of his NPD dad leaving - the family that life gave him was just not good enough for him; he deserved only the best. His own son, my dad's other sibling, died at 24 from a heart defect, and he never even went to the funeral, nor to the hospital to visit him before his long and slow death. NPD's deserve better than one son who dies at 24 and another who does not even do well at school.

He never wanted anything to do with me until my first set of grades came in at the state university where he taught, and was able to look up my grades on the school's computer system to see that I had a 4.0 for the first semester. Then he send me a card congratulating me on my gpa, a picture of himself (of course, and creepy because it looks just like me as an old man), and his business card so that I could call him. The 4.0 gpa demonstrated that I was worthy of knowing him. I'm sure he cannot understand why I never called, given that he is such a great guy.

 

[the-nighthawk]

@ KontrollerX: Thanks for your perfect explanations about NPD! Why do you believe that the best pairing for a BPD is a ASPD and not a NPD?

@ ALL: KonrollerX has pointed it out! BPDs are MORE manipulative than NPDs..and even some therapists refuse to work with BPDs because they are frustrated by them So whoever here is thinking that he can fix his "Bordy" by love or by playing her games will fail at the end.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Why do you believe that the best pairing for a BPD is a ASPD and not a NPD?"

Several different ASPD's have told me they most enjoy being in a relationship with BPD's as the games are very entertaining for them and keep them on their toes, plus to them BPD's aren't as dangerous as dating other ASPD's since BPD's still have some emotion the ASPD can hurt them with or manipulate them with and generally get enjoyment out of by manipulating certain different emotional reactions out of their BPD prey.

A bunch of Borderlines have also told me they tend to end up with ASPD men also.

Of course they can't figure out why that is lol.

So my opinion is based on that.

The HPD NPD opinion is based on one HPD who helped me a lot named Rebecca who told me she was absolutely obsessed by her new NPD love interest. The guy had cut her off and would ignore her in public when they were in front of eachother which she had engineered in order to try to get him to pay attention to her. Also when they were together and she was in the middle of giving him head she'd stop and suggest that they shouldn't be doing this and maybe they should slow down and just watch a movie together and get to know eachother better, she let me know this was a game of her's that always worked on regular guys but what the NPD did was he told her coldly to get the fvck out of his house and that he was done with her lol.

She'd been trying to get his attention ever since that moment.

Also an NPD I talked to seemed to agree with me both because he was trying to suck up to me but also because Histrionics are usually extremely beautiful they'd make a good trophy for the NPD to parade around showing society and the world that he had only the best for himself as a god should since NPD's view themselves as gods.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I talked to my bpd girl today. She was trying to get me to ditch my girlfriend and take her to a concert tomorrow night. When I told her 'no,' she texted back, cmon! i give great road head LMAO.

She got wasted drunk last weekend and ended up going home with a lesbian chick that she fools around with. The next day, she said that two of her ex boyfriends showed up at her door and wanted to have a threesome. She told them that she didn't do threesomes on Sundays, plus they didn't even bring her vodka to get her drunk first.

 

[jophil28]

I think it has finally sunk in that I am done with her. She guilted, shamed, etc,... She tried to pull me back in the FOG but I wouldn't back down, I am walking away, using her own words and methods against her.

Thank you everyone for supporting me and slapping me when I needed a slap. While I know they try to hoover you back in and that she has done so repeatedly to me in the past, I have a feeling this truly may have been the finish and she'll move on to some other poor victim.

The best part? I left with my dignity, thank you indifference.

That hoover tactic is SOP for BPD chicas.

To the uninitiated , it is easily confused with the ditzy 'push/pull' that some 'normal' woman do.
However,the BPD version is a vicious manipulative power game. Its purpose is to impale you on an emotional torture stake of her creation. She wants to see you squirm in pain and absolute confusion while she smirkes in her perceived victory.
That is their trip toward the end of your relationship with her. She MUST wound you and then discard the carcass. BPDs do not just leave relationships, they attempt to annihilate their hostage.
She needs to assert absolute control and then discard you in pain, and some do it several times over.

I think that is their way of removing any feeling that they were abandoned by you. Abandonment IS their most feared dragon. By crushing you emotionally, they kill the dragon.

 

[The Asian Lover]

Interesting thread! I wonder if sociopaths have a hard time with borderlines.

The borderline I had dated manipulated an ex boyfriend into choking her in public, and her ex husband into hitting her. They both suffered bad ends.

I only have aggression with other aggressive males, with women I just walk away. Perhaps that's why I avoided prison time while I was with her...

 

[SHECHAFESMYFIGS]

Jophil's observation about the BPD's way of ending relationships is a great insight, and it is one that you will not find surfing the clinical-type psychology Internet sites, which we all do during recovery from these virus-like c*nts.

All of my NPDex's exs were broken men if they had been with her long (and that was just the ones that I knew about). I was broken for a long time also. It is the way it all goes down; the way they stage it. After you have healed (as much as one can from this type of life-altering event) it is somewhat fascinating to read how similar the behaviors of cluster b women are.

Post #92 is one that stuck a cord with me. Having been with one of these, I can honestly say that it is the one time that lapsing into AFC is beneficial. The result of AFC in a relationship with a cluster b (and I use the word "relationship" in a purely unilateral sense) is that it has the best chance of running one of these emotional leeches off permanantly. It may not keep your dignity, but it may save your life. Just a thought.

 

[jophil28]

Jophil's observation about the BPD's way of ending relationships is a great insight, and it is one that you will not find surfing the clinical-type psychology Internet sites, which we all do during recovery from these virus-like c*nts.

All of my NPDex's exs were broken men if they had been with her long (and that was just the ones that I knew about). I was broken for a long time also. It is the way it all goes down; the way they stage it. After you have healed (as much as one can from this type of life-altering event) it is somewhat fascinating to read how similar the behaviors of cluster b women are.

Post #92 is one that stuck a cord with me. Having been with one of these, I can honestly say that it is the one time that lapsing into AFC is beneficial. The result of AFC in a relationship with a cluster b (and I use the word "relationship" in a purely unilateral sense) is that it has the best chance of running one of these emotional leeches off permanantly. It may not keep your dignity, but it may save your life. Just a thought.

I have long suspected that so called female "high functioning BPDs" behave almost identically to female NPDs. They are both ruthless, cunning and unscrupulous .Their self absorption is breathtaking. And both enjoy emotional inflicting pain through a variety of tactics. IT is indeed a good day to them when they cause intense hurt.

I agree somewhat with your AFC comments. However these woman LOVE the emotional payoffs that they get along the way from fawning beta male behavior - trouble starts when the AFC wants something from her in return for his worship. She is in a relationship for power and control, not to reciprocate his devotion.

As far as she is concerned this is HER game, so when he starts talking committment, exclusivity, or marriage she is likely to start amping up the drama until the relationship slowly deteriorates into a mish mash of antagonisic mindfvcking.

CLuster B women cannot end a relationship decently. They need to strip the relationship of goodwill entirely, inflict as many wounds as possible, and then dump your body without another blink..

 

[jophil28]

So yeah, they really can't go away until they've somehow broken you. I remember how once she had told me one guy cried after she broke up with him.

I think that you were a little naive in believing that she would just go away .
Her comment about an Ex who cried is instructive. BPD woman often covertly boast about how they crushed a man's heart. BPD's have a compulsive need to hurt their men, especially at the end of the relationship . I am talking about real crushing hurt. Inflicting pain on you feeds their vampire-like thinking...it is like some kind of emotional bloodlust.
You are not showing enough hurt yet, so do not expect her to go away. She will seek further opportunities to drain your carcass.

 

[jophil28]

Another odd thing I noticed, was that they really are wonderful girls to you, treat you very well, right up until something triggers the abandonment fear. For us, it was when I stopped replying to her texts one night around 2am. After that, the claws came out.

Yes, your relationship with a BPD woman will feel great UNTIL one event triggers 'the change' in her. It is usually some action by you in which she feels abandoned or rejected or discarded.
That moment is the start of the downward spiral into their hateful craziness and unless you know what you are dealing with, and can eject, you will spiral down with her.

I note that unlike in a 'normal' relationship, a difficult moment with a BPD woman can never be successfully resolved. When the relationship is triggered into 'hostile' mode by some real or imagined slight by you, the relationship starts to swing between short periods of peace and short periods of hostility.
It can easily escalate to many "breakup/makeup" repetitions, in which you attempt to stabilize the relationship into some kind of equilibrium, but then she repeatedly destabilizes it again when the ceasefire seems to be holding.
Her need to feel abandoned is now being fed by the breakups, soon to be followed by her need to control you again. This shows in her attempts to re-contact you after a breakup. This moment is when the "poor me" statements gush out of her and she may wistfully recount some of the early exciting moments to hoover you back into her web.
IF she is successful, and you re-establish your connection with her, it is only a short honeymoon until she she endlessly mindfvcks you in a pathetic attempt to assert control and begin inflicting pain again.The tension builds. To her having sex, or withholding sex becomes an opportunity to control you and remind you that she is in charge, so sex become less frequent and less spontaneus and sex problems become frequent ocurrences.

Unless you have your wits about you, and understand who and what you are dealing with, her games will mostly win.
She has played this game many times before.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Guys I was impressed how right on Doc love was!
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_500/516_doc-love-uncomfortable-with-the-way-she-dresses.html

This is a typical case of HPD. It´s funny how most people, "ignorants" who never came across them, misunderstand how is it like to deal with such people!

http://www.nvo.com/psych_help/histrionicpersonalitydisorder/

 

[Blue Phoenix]

If you dont get it, you dont get. The only way to really know, is to have experienced it. Its far more than them just being 'hot.' They are naturally masters of seduction. Most here believe that since they have no real personalities of their own, they mimic, and mirror your own personality, which of course you cannot resist. We love ourselves the most, after all.

Also, they are masters of deception, and manipulation. Like an invisible boa constrictor, you dont have any idea what they are doing to you, and who they really are, until you have totally fallen for them. They seriously BLIND you to reality. Even when you finally figure them out, they change their behaviour and suck you into believing that they will change. I believe the mythical 'siren,' or 'succubus,' was inspired by a BPD woman.

Liek I said, if you havent been there, you wont understand the kind of hold they can get you with. Its really easy to SAY you would dump them at the first sign of disrespect, but its quite a bit harder than you think. Im not denying my AFCness in the whole thing by any means, but not girls has had any where NEAR the emotional effect on me, in ANY way as my BPD ex. The highs you get from them, mask the truth about them, and you jones for them like heroin, or something.

You´re right on. Casanova is the most famous seducer ever. HOWEVER did you know that CASANOVA is a BPD????? :nervous:

"Casanova. Seducing women feeds his narcissism, and fills his core emptiness--it's his addiction. Since he can't form solid/healthy attachments, he takes hostages. He's extremely attentive at first, and wants to be with you constantly--which is like music to your soul. As this courtship picks up speed, you feel fortunate to have found such a considerate, loving, thoughtful man--but things change. As soon as a Borderline senses you're really His, he distances himself, shuts down and/or finds fault with you. Borderlines pull you in closer, then push you away; you'll either feel adored and admired or devalued and dejected. This Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde split in behavior and demeanor is a dead giveaway."

*http://www.gettinbetter.com/casanova.html

I´ve met one of these snakes and I made her fall for me!! :crackup: HOW? Well, I read the Art of Seduction as well as the 48 Laws of Power. I used: "the mirror effect", "use of absence to increase desire", "push-pull", "coquette", "play a sucker to catch a sucker". I short-circuited her head. She almost had a nervous breakdown and started crying, shaking!!! The problem is that eventually I kind of fell for her too. They´re too slippery. I could foresee all her tactics. She would say "You´re so wild, so strong", "Would look at me with intensely gazing eyes (this is scary)", "Would touch my arm", "Play hot cold", "Tease a lot", "Play the chlid who needs to be saved", "Use a childish voice", "Act out". What she didn´t know is that I knew what she was up to, and I sensed a bait in her compliments since the very beginning. I always told her she was an actress, she was a child, she was crazy, she was too good to be true. lol

What is scary is "Do they do that unaware or is it conscious?" Probably it´s unaware.

It´s scary how they lie to you. They play many people at the same time. Now I feel like NEO who can see the matrix.

Why you fell for them:
http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/02/17/why-men-are-attracted-to-crazy-emotionally-abusive-women/

 

[Blue Phoenix]

HOW TO OUTPLAY BPDs/HPDs

I did some searching and what I found about Casanova:

"Abandoned
Being abandoned by his mother left him with emotional scars that would never heal. Hidden beneath his veneer of proud self-confidence was always a vulnerable child eager for approval and love. Women were quick to take advantage of this. Desperate for love, yet unable to accept it when it was presented to him on a plate, he proved a soft touch to manipulative women. "

That´s exactly what happens to BPD people, Abandonment!! To make them fall for you, you´ve gotta be the ultimate challenge. You will have to make them prove themselves constantly, that´s how you tame the beast.

"She teased, tormented and exploited Casanova for all he was worth. His obsession with seducing H Charpillon almost cost Casanova his sanity. Although he was a sophisticated man in his 30s, well-versed in the game of love, he found himself strangely powerless in the face of this young courtesan's wiles. In the end, Charpillon's persistent rejection of him ruined Casanova's confidence with women. Try as he might, he would never fully recover."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-404782/Casanova-The-victim-women.html

*http://www.sexualfables.com/the_wh0res_revenge.php

"BPD's are very challenging people, but they can teach you alot about yourself and can be "rewarding" or very toxic relationships." If you survive one of them you will improve your game 1000000x more."

Change 0 for o.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sinistar,
I like your posts and yeah,the point you make is a good one for you and also for me,I just want to remember enough of that experience to recognise the problem if it rears its ugly head again...But there is also a sense in which I see Controllers points,we must never forget that some one else is starting out along the Road we left behind.