The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Designer Man]

I think it's my time to recover.

Day 1

Relationship ended around summer 2025 however we still lived together and she agreed I could stay until my house move went through. I got the blame for a lot of things and I'm the reason it's over. I don't fully agree with that because there was a lot of emotional abuse in there and some physical which I couldn't handle anymore. It was miserable, soul destroying and toxic af.

We planned a wedding and were looking at buying a house together. One thing we couldn't agree on was where to go. She owned her house and I was going to go joint on the application, but I didn't feel part of it and I had reservations about committing to this. She could sense that and she opted to go solo which was a relief in a way as it can get messy if things aren't working out. We also hadn't made any wedding payments or plans and simply couldn't afford to go through with it. Plus, we seemed to have loads of other stuff going on and a wedding just didn't seem the priority. That got cancelled when we ended our relationship.

I moved out in December and wanted us to try again but separately for now, she wasn't too keen and had a lot of resentment towards me for ruining her dream of marriage and a happy ever after. She is spinning the story that I walked out and left when the reality was, I walked out because I was being threatened with homelessness every other week, but she denies that.

She hated me being there, she hated me WFH. She hated that I would cook at 9pm. She couldn't live with me and she made her feelings well known to her family. One day she'd had enough and threatened to remove me from her home. She called her Mum for backup and they were planning to come and remove me. At this time, I was weeks away from getting my house keys and all my money was in the new property, I had to beg her to reconsider until my completion date comes.

I should have cut ties in December but I felt awful and we tried dating. I would go to hers on weekends and it wasn't very nice. No welcome, no intimacy, wasn't even like she had missed me. Go back three years and her reaction would have been different. I knew she was done. When someone is done with me, I also pull away.

It was my 40th birthday last Saturday and she came with me for a meal with some of my family. We'd argued all morning and I was annoyed with her lack of effort. A generic birthday card and no gift. We got to the meal and within two hours she'd had a bottle of wine. We later left and she argued with me again and we decided to end it. Worst birthday ever. The funny thing is, she said she would have done something better for me but she had ample time to plan something. I literally planned the meal a week before because she hadn't done anything. She blasted the meal idea and said "it's not what I would have done" she gave me no alternative.

I'm now on day 1 of NC. Its hard and I'm struggling. Why am I sat here seeing the good side? Why is she saying I'm the reason we broke up? Why can't she take responsibility? And when I try to talk to her, why does she talk over me?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I think it's my time to recover.

Day 1

Relationship ended around summer 2025 however we still lived together and she agreed I could stay until my house move went through. I got the blame for a lot of things and I'm the reason it's over. I don't fully agree with that because there was a lot of emotional abuse in there and some physical which I couldn't handle anymore. It was miserable, soul destroying and toxic af.

We planned a wedding and were looking at buying a house together. One thing we couldn't agree on was where to go. She owned her house and I was going to go joint on the application, but I didn't feel part of it and I had reservations about committing to this. She could sense that and she opted to go solo which was a relief in a way as it can get messy if things aren't working out. We also hadn't made any wedding payments or plans and simply couldn't afford to go through with it. Plus, we seemed to have loads of other stuff going on and a wedding just didn't seem the priority. That got cancelled when we ended our relationship.

I moved out in December and wanted us to try again but separately for now, she wasn't too keen and had a lot of resentment towards me for ruining her dream of marriage and a happy ever after. She is spinning the story that I walked out and left when the reality was, I walked out because I was being threatened with homelessness every other week, but she denies that.

She hated me being there, she hated me WFH. She hated that I would cook at 9pm. She couldn't live with me and she made her feelings well known to her family. One day she'd had enough and threatened to remove me from her home. She called her Mum for backup and they were planning to come and remove me. At this time, I was weeks away from getting my house keys and all my money was in the new property, I had to beg her to reconsider until my completion date comes.

I should have cut ties in December but I felt awful and we tried dating. I would go to hers on weekends and it wasn't very nice. No welcome, no intimacy, wasn't even like she had missed me. Go back three years and her reaction would have been different. I knew she was done. When someone is done with me, I also pull away.

It was my 40th birthday last Saturday and she came with me for a meal with some of my family. We'd argued all morning and I was annoyed with her lack of effort. A generic birthday card and no gift. We got to the meal and within two hours she'd had a bottle of wine. We later left and she argued with me again and we decided to end it. Worst birthday ever. The funny thing is, she said she would have done something better for me but she had ample time to plan something. I literally planned the meal a week before because she hadn't done anything. She blasted the meal idea and said "it's not what I would have done" she gave me no alternative.

I'm now on day 1 of NC. Its hard and I'm struggling. Why am I sat here seeing the good side? Why is she saying I'm the reason we broke up? Why can't she take responsibility? And when I try to talk to her, why does she talk over me?

Sounds like you Dodged a bullet. Thank your lucky stars and stay NC

 

[AndyVin]

I think it's my time to recover.

Day 1

Relationship ended around summer 2025 however we still lived together and she agreed I could stay until my house move went through. I got the blame for a lot of things and I'm the reason it's over. I don't fully agree with that because there was a lot of emotional abuse in there and some physical which I couldn't handle anymore. It was miserable, soul destroying and toxic af.

We planned a wedding and were looking at buying a house together. One thing we couldn't agree on was where to go. She owned her house and I was going to go joint on the application, but I didn't feel part of it and I had reservations about committing to this. She could sense that and she opted to go solo which was a relief in a way as it can get messy if things aren't working out. We also hadn't made any wedding payments or plans and simply couldn't afford to go through with it. Plus, we seemed to have loads of other stuff going on and a wedding just didn't seem the priority. That got cancelled when we ended our relationship.

I moved out in December and wanted us to try again but separately for now, she wasn't too keen and had a lot of resentment towards me for ruining her dream of marriage and a happy ever after. She is spinning the story that I walked out and left when the reality was, I walked out because I was being threatened with homelessness every other week, but she denies that.

She hated me being there, she hated me WFH. She hated that I would cook at 9pm. She couldn't live with me and she made her feelings well known to her family. One day she'd had enough and threatened to remove me from her home. She called her Mum for backup and they were planning to come and remove me. At this time, I was weeks away from getting my house keys and all my money was in the new property, I had to beg her to reconsider until my completion date comes.

I should have cut ties in December but I felt awful and we tried dating. I would go to hers on weekends and it wasn't very nice. No welcome, no intimacy, wasn't even like she had missed me. Go back three years and her reaction would have been different. I knew she was done. When someone is done with me, I also pull away.

It was my 40th birthday last Saturday and she came with me for a meal with some of my family. We'd argued all morning and I was annoyed with her lack of effort. A generic birthday card and no gift. We got to the meal and within two hours she'd had a bottle of wine. We later left and she argued with me again and we decided to end it. Worst birthday ever. The funny thing is, she said she would have done something better for me but she had ample time to plan something. I literally planned the meal a week before because she hadn't done anything. She blasted the meal idea and said "it's not what I would have done" she gave me no alternative.

I'm now on day 1 of NC. Its hard and I'm struggling. Why am I sat here seeing the good side? Why is she saying I'm the reason we broke up? Why can't she take responsibility? And when I try to talk to her, why does she talk over me?

Her taking responsibility is outside of your control my friend. Own your own, learn from what you can, but for now keep it up and just cut ties, no looking at her socials at all and keep building up that inner voice that shouts no when you have an urge. Just remember she won’t change but you can!

 

[Designer Man]

I do try and see it from her pov and can understand why she was hurting all those months ago. I did let her down and I should have been more committed. I lived selfishly and focused on myself when in reality I was in a partnership and my fiancee was struggling. She joined my gym to spend more time with me but we trained separately which is fine as we have our own training plans. I think she made more effort than I did. I hardly done anything she wanted to do.

I'm sat here now devastated. The hard thing is she has a close family around her and that keeps her busy. I'm alone and she was the closest person I had. It will probably be easier for her to get through this.

 

[Designer Man]

She's probably thinking I've forgot about her and getting on with my life. I want her to know I'm finding this difficult and didn't want it to be like this.

This is the hard part now, I want her to know I'm not coping very well.

 

[Barrister]

She's probably thinking I've forgot about her and getting on with my life. I want her to know I'm finding this difficult and didn't want it to be like this.

This is the hard part now, I want her to know I'm not coping very well.

When you're struggling, really remember why you broke up. Go over old text messages or even read the first post you made here in the NC thread. This woman sounds awful. No intimacy, no respect, just a lot of negative emotion coming your way. That is no way to live and you are better off without her.

The problem of course is our male brain immediately feels the "loss" when the breakup occurs. She already broke up with you months ago even if you didn't know it, because women always start the process while still in the relationship. We men don't experience it until it actually happens, hence why you are struggling right now and she comes off like she couldn't care less if you were alive or dead.

Understand this is temporary. Date some other women if you feel ready just to remind your brain that they DO exist outside of this toxic ex. If you don't feel ready that is fine too. The primary thing is to stay no contact, and let time take care of the rest. Good luck, brother.

 

[Designer Man]

When you're struggling, really remember why you broke up. Go over old text messages or even read the first post you made here in the NC thread. This woman sounds awful. No intimacy, no respect, just a lot of negative emotion coming your way. That is no way to live and you are better off without her.

The problem of course is our male brain immediately feels the "loss" when the breakup occurs. She already broke up with you months ago even if you didn't know it, because women always start the process while still in the relationship. We men don't experience it until it actually happens, hence why you are struggling right now and she comes off like she couldn't care less if you were alive or dead.

Understand this is temporary. Date some other women if you feel ready just to remind your brain that they DO exist outside of this toxic ex. If you don't feel ready that is fine too. The primary thing is to stay no contact, and let time take care of the rest. Good luck, brother.

Thank you. It's best I stay away from other women, not fair on them and won't make me feel any better, more chance of feeling worse.

You are right and that she's used the last few months to really prepare herself for this. She has a lot of anger and resentment towards me and that showed in the last few months.

What I thought was a rebuilding phase was really an adjustment phase. The first few weeks she told me how much she missed me and it was difficult being without me, but she adapted and she's in a much better space than I am.

Step by step and day by day. I've been here before. It doesn't matter what you try to tell yourself, it still hurts.

 

[Designer Man]

Day 2

I got through. It was tough and feel like it's only going to get harder. The fear of never seeing her again and realising she probably isn't going to reach out. Something tells me this is final and it really is time for me to move on.

Throughout all of this my training has still been perfect. Not one set or rep performed badly and nutrition is completely on point with no meals missed. Supplementation is exactly how it should be and everything is dialled in. In my favour, I've never missed a scheduled training day and discipline has always been there to keep myself accountable. Not once during this have I been tempted to buy chocolate and I won't be. One thing I have is discipline but I can't say the same when it comes to my love life.

Day 3 will probably be harder and the realisation is beginning to set in.

 

[Designer Man]

Today I feel like I'm carrying a heaviness in my stomach. She's heavily on my mind still and I'm thinking about what I have done. My mind is directing me to her behaviour that was not good and I'm thinking of how that could have been avoided. We had some nasty arguments that most people probably wouldn't even come back from. What hurts me is that she's give up. I can't blame her. We are not bad people, we just seemed like we were bad for each other and that could have been avoided or made better.

I was so childish at times and said some truly awful things. I just want to reach out and apologise.

I have no idea what she's feeling, what's she's thinking or what she's doing. She could be on cloud 9 for all I know.

I am struggling. It doesn't get any easier. I'm 40 years old and I'm in this position again. I'm at the point where I don't want to meet anyone again. I have no interest in anyone else and really see it as too much effort to do all this again with someone else. Really what is the point?

I just feel like too much has happened and I have no interest in even trying again.

 

[Lotus Effect]

My friend

she doesn’t care about you
She is not thinking about you
She couldn’t care less about you apologizing

it is over

If you want to have a chance with her you have to endure this by yourself. You have to pick your pieces and put them back together

man up
Do your stuff
Recollect yourself

She probably dumped you because of this needy behavior. She don’t want a son, she want a father.

respect is gone out the window
And there is nothing more repellent and repulsive to women than a whiny needy man

if you call crying and begging you will put the last nail on the coffin

she has to come to you, not the other way around. She is the dumper, you have no call on this matter.

From this moment on she is dead to you
You can’t reach the dead

it is going to be very hard. Yes.
it never gets easier.

I’m also NCing my ex.
It’s been a month now.
I understand you

But you should focus on getting your life back together

And in my personal opinion
You past the point of she coming back considering your backstory

so don’t get your hopes up

take the first 2 or 3 days to sulk
It’s fine. It’s a mourning period.

then
Delete her contacts. Send them to someone like your mom or siblings and delete it so you can’t cave in.

Read. Start with no more Mr nice guy and the book of pook. Listen to the audiobooks
Eat well. Train every day to exhaustion
Get swamped in work. Stay busy.


Good luck

 

[Designer Man]

My friend

she doesn’t care about you
She is not thinking about you
She couldn’t care less about you apologizing

it is over

If you want to have a chance with her you have to endure this by yourself. You have to pick your pieces and put them back together

man up
Do your stuff
Recollect yourself

She probably dumped you because of this needy behavior. She don’t want a son, she want a father.

respect is gone out the window
And there is nothing more repellent and repulsive to women than a whiny needy man

if you call crying and begging you will put the last nail on the coffin

she has to come to you, not the other way around. She is the dumper, you have no call on this matter.

From this moment on she is dead to you
You can’t reach the dead

it is going to be very hard. Yes.
it never gets easier.

I’m also NCing my ex.
It’s been a month now.
I understand you

But you should focus on getting your life back together

And in my personal opinion
You past the point of she coming back considering your backstory

so don’t get your hopes up

take the first 2 or 3 days to sulk
It’s fine. It’s a mourning period.

then
Delete her contacts. Send them to someone like your mom or siblings and delete it so you can’t cave in.

Read. Start with no more Mr nice guy and the book of pook. Listen to the audiobooks
Eat well. Train every day to exhaustion
Get swamped in work. Stay busy.


Good luck

How are you finding it now? What was your first month like? Did you experience a lot of emotion and curiosity? Did you feel any guilt?

 

[Lotus Effect]

How are you finding it now? What was your first month like? Did you experience a lot of emotion and curiosity? Did you feel any guilt?

Im more fit
I’m eating healthier
I’m training 4x a week
I’m swimming 1,5km 2x a week
I’m more focused at my job
I’m back on my daily routine
I’m taking better care of my body
I’m focusing on hitting my daily macros
I’m overall more focused on myself and my physical health
I schedule the doctors appointment I was postponing for such a long time
I’m more controlled on my finances
I’m less prone to bulsh!t
Im saying ‘no’ when I don’t want to do something in professional and personal life
I’m getting better at defining my boundaries
I’m avoiding being dishonest on my day to day routine
And I’m slowly but gradually being reconnected to my spirituality, which was completely gone

I’m less ragefull about everything

but also
I’m frustrated that I wimped out during my relationship
I’m angry that I knew I could be the above guy during the relationship but I relaxed
I’m pissed that my vaporous ways made she lose respect for me
I replay she saying to me ‘where is my Lotus, what have you done to him’

Also
I know that unfortunately she is just another one
She could’ve stayed by my side while I was getting back up but she didn’t
She was just another slvt
I created the illusion

Everything I told you in my previous answer
I say to myself as well. That’s the best answer I can give you my friend.

In particular to whichever you asked
My first month has been a roller coaster
Long days, longer nights, nightmares. The usual
But I’m focusing 100% on me
That’s the only way

use this energy to fix everything wrong in you
You know what those are. The lies you tell yourself. The destructive habits

Emotional wise is been terrible of course
I think about her, us, the relationship or any of these a lot. Work and working out keep my mind a bit busy

but I think anyway
It hurts. It saddens. It burns from anxiety
It rages. Everything

but I’m facing it as a man

it’s my feelings
My responsibility. No one else’s

About curiosity, Fvck that brother.
You are a grown azz man. You should know better.

when it’s over it’s over
I don’t have instagram. I don’t have Snapchat. I don’t have any of that sh!t, as a grown man should. So I also don’t have hers.

my only mean of contact with her was her phone, and I deleted it. So gone amigo. Ciao!

it surprises me you’re a 40 year old man, going through it so roughly.

it’s hard, it is still hard, but you have to manage it.

no guilty on my end.

when it came to a definite end, I said love you, thank you for everything, and goodbye.

never to be seen again.

The only guilty I feel is not breaking up when I saw the first signs
Or eve more, let her walk over me during the relationship and making her loose respect because I didn’t stabilsh my boundaries and because I have up on my life and routine for the relationship

the only bite I carry is for letting her say during the breakup that everything was my fault while knowing everything that she did wrong and not confront her in order to have a more chivalrous breakup

but I know this is just my bruised ego and walking away with a smile was the best decision

I know I will still suffer for a while, it is who I am.

but it’s fine.
At least I’m putting my life back together

day 30 by the way

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day whatever

I really miss her

and I’m really sad that I couldn’t make it work

 

[Lotus Effect]

I'll start this by saying I have absolutely no intention on breaking no contact.

Not now, not ever.

I'm well aware of how that is detrimental to my own mental health, and overall self worth, and doing that will always set me back to day 0, and stopping me from ever moving on.

And I know that because unfortunately I learned this the hard way. Not with this breakup, but from previous ones.

So with that established, and making it very clear that I have been absolutely NC from the day of the breakup I want to say.

It is being so fvcking hard, it's crazy. God damn it.
You would imagine that by 37 you will know how to handle yourself better, but god fvking damn it. It is crazy hard.

I keep thinking about all the million things I could have done, or better yet, I could have avoided having done, that slowly but surely cracked the relationship.

People keep telling me that they are glad that we broken up, because she was crazy and impossible to deal with, especially with her mood swings, which I can tell you, they were very hard to deal with. It was like that movie '50 first dates' with Adam Sandler.
She would literally wake up a completely different person the next day, and everything good was gone, and I had to start over again.

People also said that I became someone else when I was with her, like I was always trying to prove myself, or showing that I was cool enough. They are right. I did that. I wanted her to see the cool me, the cool side of me that I had back in Brazil, and that I was still rebuilding when I got here in Europe.

And finally, when I finally set foot on the ground, after all the investment on making things happen, it was over.

I feel so lost right now.
It was so hard to get everything in place.
It was so hard to rebuild my life from scratch.
And now I'm exactly in the same place.

I haven't changed. I haven't evolved. I haven't got better. I just fooled myself.

I feel like I am a fake and my life is falling appart.

Actually, I am a fake.
And as long as I don't fix myself my life will be this never ending loop of crashing and burning.

Also I'm very worried about keeping my sanity during work hours.
That's the only thing I can't afford to lose right now.

I really don't know where to start on how to fix myself.
I understand now that my problem is way deeper than any trick, magic bullet, or fake it till you make routine.

I am a liar.
I lie to myself every single fvcking day.

 

[Barrister]

I'll start this by saying I have absolutely no intention on breaking no contact.

Not now, not ever.

I'm well aware of how that is detrimental to my own mental health, and overall self worth, and doing that will always set me back to day 0, and stopping me from ever moving on.

And I know that because unfortunately I learned this the hard way. Not with this breakup, but from previous ones.

So with that established, and making it very clear that I have been absolutely NC from the day of the breakup I want to say.

It is being so fvcking hard, it's crazy. God damn it.
You would imagine that by 37 you will know how to handle yourself better, but god fvking damn it. It is crazy hard.

I keep thinking about all the million things I could have done, or better yet, I could have avoided having done, that slowly but surely cracked the relationship.

People keep telling me that they are glad that we broken up, because she was crazy and impossible to deal with, especially with her mood swings, which I can tell you, they were very hard to deal with. It was like that movie '50 first dates' with Adam Sandler.
She would literally wake up a completely different person the next day, and everything good was gone, and I had to start over again.

People also said that I became someone else when I was with her, like I was always trying to prove myself, or showing that I was cool enough. They are right. I did that. I wanted her to see the cool me, the cool side of me that I had back in Brazil, and that I was still rebuilding when I got here in Europe.

And finally, when I finally set foot on the ground, after all the investment on making things happen, it was over.

I feel so lost right now.
It was so hard to get everything in place.
It was so hard to rebuild my life from scratch.
And now I'm exactly in the same place.

I haven't changed. I haven't evolved. I haven't got better. I just fooled myself.

I feel like I am a fake and my life is falling appart.

Actually, I am a fake.
And as long as I don't fix myself my life will be this never ending loop of crashing and burning.

Also I'm very worried about keeping my sanity during work hours.
That's the only thing I can't afford to lose right now.

I really don't know where to start on how to fix myself.
I understand now that my problem is way deeper than any trick, magic bullet, or fake it till you make routine.

I am a liar.
I lie to myself every single fvcking day.

Those people who told you that you weren't being yourself when you were with her and that she was difficult to deal with because she was crazy and had violent mood swings? Listen to them. Their brains aren't on chemical overload right now like yours is making this woman look like she is the only woman in the world who will ever be worth your time.

In 6 months you will look back at this and wonder what in the hell you were thinking making yourself so miserable over someone as messed up as she is. Stay strong.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Those people who told you that you weren't being yourself when you were with her and that she was difficult to deal with because she was crazy and had violent mood swings? Listen to them. Their brains aren't on chemical overload right now like yours is making this woman look like she is the only woman in the world who will ever be worth your time.

In 6 months you will look back at this and wonder what in the hell you were thinking making yourself so miserable over someone as messed up as she is. Stay strong.

Thank you my man.

It is incredible how at this moment I only have eyes for her.
Even tho she made my life quite miserable during the relationship over and over again.

I consciously know that
Still it is amazing how I can only see and remember the good things in her, and the only bad things in me.

Again, thank you brother.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 60.

Right after we broke up, I left her place, crashed my bike, got a broken collar bone.
She called me the next day I picked, we chat, I said everything she wanted to hear, and puff, gone. This was friday.

I got the surgery on monday, and only tuesday she texted me saying 'if I wanted, she could try to visit me' ........ f off
I said I was leaving the hospital thatday so it wasnt needed.

Called me 2 days later asking how I was. This time I was brief, and asked if she wanted anything, she said no, just want to know if you are allright. I said I was, than said I had to work, and hung up.

A few hours later, she texted me saying that she wished that I recovered soon enough, and that I forgot my glasses at her place, for me to tell her when I wanted to visit her to get them. I replied, o k .

That was the last time I spoke to her. That's 60 days ago.

Fkd 2 chicks along the way. Hooked up with 5.

I did some low frame sh!t reposting some stories from chicks that posted me, in order to get to her nerves.
She saw them all, to no effect.

But aside from that, absolutely no contact. I've also now decided to completely vanish from social networks.
Looking back, I regret reposting the stories, because even if it was other chicks posting, which show some value, it gave light to her of where I was, and what I was doing, where the best course of action is actually vanish.

Anyway, I am now a seasoned expert of handling NC (and crying alone in the WC hahaha), so not calling, texting and cheking her medias is easy peasy.

Now, here I am again at the hospital, writing in bed, after the second surgery I just had 2 days ago, because the damage from the bike acident affected the leg as well.

But, despite being hospitalized again, going NC, I actually feel good about my self.

Still miss the b(tch evey now and them. But got my sh(t back together, and the pain is not as excruciating pain as before

Good to read some past sh’t

from past exes

and a very worst situation I was wrapped around

and I did great after that

that was 2 and a half years ago, 8 different lays, a broken colar bone, a new prosthetic femur, 3 surgeries, from poverty and starvation to COO of a multinational company and a whole new relationship that lasted 1,8 months

still, here we are!
Day 30 something
(For the last chick obviously)

for the above
Never heard of her again.

I should expect the same from the current
moving on

 

[Buster2026]

I’m new here. Not new to Pook and the rational male stuff. Started reading those back after my wife cheated and yes…..it was literally like taking a red pill. I nearly watched my marriage fall apart piece by piece after Each chapter I read in the rational male and such books alike. It took me years to get over it and nearly 3 to start dating again. I was dumped last month as the new girl felt i coulnt give her the time or amount of dates she wanted, which was fair given it was 4 dates in a year due to work, kids and sorting my life out. Litterally the week I had it sorted and was feeling upbeat she ended it. I actually fell in love again. Now I’m in a world of hurt yet again thinking all those things she said to me like, ‘I’m so attracted to you, you are so perfect, I care about you so much’ side note-I didn’t manage to let my guard down til we broke up then told her I loved her. I fought for it explaining if that was the reason we broke up it’s sorted and if you genuinely feel like that come back! I did the whole texting too much, wrote a letter, she even heard me cry. I feel Iv lost the best girl Iv ever had. She told me she misses me and loves me too, she’s not dating etc….. most women I’d 100% believe that but she was definatly different than anyone Iv been with. That said Im not naive enough to think she’s probably slept with someone by now. It’s been a month. I know Iv played this all wrong. I do blame myself for not stepping up and would literally do anything to get her back. I guess the last hurrah is no contact. Though it’s hard as we work the same job but me days her nights. I know she will see me an me her. I’m getting real bad intrusive thoughts an images of men in work with her, she’s very pretty and well men will be men so I’d say I’m lying to myself to think she wouldn’t do that. Iv been more depressed over this than my marriage and it’s really bothering me what to do. It’s probably obvious though. Iv a date lined up for Saturday but my hearts just to broken right now to be that excited about it. I can’t eat,sleep or think. It’s consuming me. Any and all advice is welcome

 

[Lotus Effect]

List of advices:

You did once
you can do it again

life will keep kicking you in the nuts

you should’ve been in more than four dates in the course of the year

you should’ve had to have more intimacy to be feeling like this

you need to read the books again

welcome back to NC

dont relapse

use enter and paragraphs

 

[Buster2026]

Roger all that.

to be fair I am working hard on my life, good (manly) job

47 and competing again in 8 weeks in physique bodybuilding

sorting out my finances, have my spare time and dates good to go.

il be lying if I said I hope she sees this…….not through me explaining or purposly showing that im doing good.

i know il see her today, I know I’m attractive…..though my actions weren’t lately.

Not saying I’m hung up on, ‘the one’ it’s just out of all those Iv ever met this one I’m crazy about, I wasn’t even close to feeling like this with my ex wife.

But il take the advice on this forum because it’s not the last option, it’s the only option.

Back to being a man again.