Soflobro#2
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
GabbsArchitect
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Not sure how active this thread is now but it's day 5 for me after a three week break up. The other days were a breeze, today has been horrendous.
Women eh?
Women eh?
Paradiddle
Don Juan
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All I can say is, NEVER EVER GIVE UP. Giving up is being submissive which, of course, is a feminine trait. Even I have felt like giving up. But that's the reason there are all these awesome people in sosuave to make you feel that you're not alone and there are hundreds, if not thousands, going through the same phase that you are going through. Persist, my brethren. Peace.
I got a text this morning from the one I was dating/fooling around with. I live in SoCal and she moved to NoCal for work. She said 'So I had some time off and I got into an uber and one thing led to another and here I am!'
No do you want to get together or let's get together. Just wanting more attention.
No do you want to get together or let's get together. Just wanting more attention.
I ran into her this morning at the gym we used to meet at to swim. She is close to my friend's GF and as soon as I saw my friend's motorcycle I knew she was going to be there. She was sitting next to my friend and said Hi. I said Hi back and then looked at my friend 90% of the time and ignored her.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Well I guess I will post. Got dumped yesterday after she flaked on a date we had. Said her niece invited herself over and pretty much wouldnt leave. I was at a neighborhood party and at first I said its fine just get back with me when you are free next. Well she started texting me later when I was pretty drunk and I was being ****ty and she ended up sending me a text saying she couldnt give me what I needed. I said if thats how she feels then fine but doing it over text message was a ****ty way to do it. She called me and we talked for a bit and she hung up. I tried calling her back and she didnt answer. Then sent me a text saying she had company but she could call me back later if I wanted. I said "thats up to you. you know where I stand" she replied with "I dont know what else to say." I didnt reply and about an hour later she text me with "are you awake" I said yes and she called. At first she acted like she was just calling me back but I called BS and she admitted that she wanted to call me and she was conflicted. I asked how she felt when she was around me and she said she loved being around me but that things are complicated. She is going through a divorce and I pushed things to fast. We had been hanging out for about a month and a half. I know thats a short period of time and I went AFC but I have to learn from my mistakes. At the end I said I am not gonna be her friend and I currently seeing another person too (She knew I might be seeing other people since she was going through a divorce). If she wants to see me then call me and if I am available then maybe we can get together but I will not being doing the contacting. On a side note we are both teachers. I am also a coach so I will see her at some point. We have a few days left in the year and I will probably have to email her but its usually just forwarding kids work. I am alittle beat up over it because I did like her quite a bit and I made some mistakes. I do have a date with another girl Thursday so that should help. Anyways thanks for this post. Reading it helped.
Hello guys,
Need your opinion here. So I have a good job, travel around and basically good life. Have girls in every country/continents I travel to, but I just sleep with them when am there. Basically young girls - who doesn't like 5 star hotel and nice bars and stuffs? I never buy gifts or anything , just good time. But over the time, you feel empty after ****ing so many girls and crave for that SOMEONE where you can be yourself and build something for life.
And then 3 months back I met this girl and went on a dinner date which went way nicer than I was expecting. We had sex right in the restaurant after they closed (Restaurant owner knows me)
Next day we were planning for 2nd date where I turned AFC, writing her and asking out mostly. We fixed a date after 2 days and I went on with a gift for her, waiting till I get the message she is on the way, and next thing I know she blocked me.
A little about this girl- she is only 23, a social butterfly, 10/10, having several guys lined up, buying her super expensive stuffs, had a pretty bad relationship and after that she turned bitter and had several hookups.
Now back to the story- So I totally NC her for a week and sent her a message from other chat app where she responded immediately As I was traveling we scheduled another date once I was back and he had sex again. Before leaving her place, I mentioned this is our last meeting because of her last time behavior where she cried and said she wants me and that was done by her colleagues because she was freaking out.
Same week, she invited me to go out with her and meet all her girl friends. That was a great night and we end up having sex on the same bed as her friend passed out after heavy drinking. Same night we also had a fight because I found in her phone she was sending the same reveling picture to other guys same time she was sending me whole week.
Next morning , I got up wth several texts from her saying we can not hangout anymore if I don't want something serious as she wants a relationship with me , and guess what- I said yes , only if she get her life clean and get rid of previous guys from her phone/life.
We had several dates where she started introducing to me too her friends and colleagues etc and many times we had fight over her texting,sending pics to her previous guys/hookups.
After dating almost 1.5 months, we went on a weekend holiday, and that night again I saw her phone and learned the following
1. She ****ed a guy hour before coming to my place and having sex with me
2. She write to a guy that she is seeing me in front of me after our one fight, later texting him it was someone else who wrote this message from her phone.
I woke her up to confront and she started panicking and packed her bag in the morning and went away. Ofcourse I tried to stop her and asked for explanation for which she just tried to run away saying she needs time to be alone.
I didn't contact her for a week and she makes Instagram stories of being on a date with the 2nd guy and next day blocking me on the IG but not on other apps which she did earlier.
It's been now 3 weeks, and I have maintained the NC. Now my questions is if anyone can 'Decode" this behavior. Ofcourse I do not want her as relationship anymore, but definitely she is fun and wild to be with, making me feel much more younger and alive. Is there way to get her back just for that part ? Any suggestions or feedback from anyone will mean a lot !!
Need your opinion here. So I have a good job, travel around and basically good life. Have girls in every country/continents I travel to, but I just sleep with them when am there. Basically young girls - who doesn't like 5 star hotel and nice bars and stuffs? I never buy gifts or anything , just good time. But over the time, you feel empty after ****ing so many girls and crave for that SOMEONE where you can be yourself and build something for life.
And then 3 months back I met this girl and went on a dinner date which went way nicer than I was expecting. We had sex right in the restaurant after they closed (Restaurant owner knows me)
Next day we were planning for 2nd date where I turned AFC, writing her and asking out mostly. We fixed a date after 2 days and I went on with a gift for her, waiting till I get the message she is on the way, and next thing I know she blocked me.
A little about this girl- she is only 23, a social butterfly, 10/10, having several guys lined up, buying her super expensive stuffs, had a pretty bad relationship and after that she turned bitter and had several hookups.
Now back to the story- So I totally NC her for a week and sent her a message from other chat app where she responded immediately As I was traveling we scheduled another date once I was back and he had sex again. Before leaving her place, I mentioned this is our last meeting because of her last time behavior where she cried and said she wants me and that was done by her colleagues because she was freaking out.
Same week, she invited me to go out with her and meet all her girl friends. That was a great night and we end up having sex on the same bed as her friend passed out after heavy drinking. Same night we also had a fight because I found in her phone she was sending the same reveling picture to other guys same time she was sending me whole week.
Next morning , I got up wth several texts from her saying we can not hangout anymore if I don't want something serious as she wants a relationship with me , and guess what- I said yes , only if she get her life clean and get rid of previous guys from her phone/life.
We had several dates where she started introducing to me too her friends and colleagues etc and many times we had fight over her texting,sending pics to her previous guys/hookups.
After dating almost 1.5 months, we went on a weekend holiday, and that night again I saw her phone and learned the following
1. She ****ed a guy hour before coming to my place and having sex with me
2. She write to a guy that she is seeing me in front of me after our one fight, later texting him it was someone else who wrote this message from her phone.
I woke her up to confront and she started panicking and packed her bag in the morning and went away. Ofcourse I tried to stop her and asked for explanation for which she just tried to run away saying she needs time to be alone.
I didn't contact her for a week and she makes Instagram stories of being on a date with the 2nd guy and next day blocking me on the IG but not on other apps which she did earlier.
It's been now 3 weeks, and I have maintained the NC. Now my questions is if anyone can 'Decode" this behavior. Ofcourse I do not want her as relationship anymore, but definitely she is fun and wild to be with, making me feel much more younger and alive. Is there way to get her back just for that part ? Any suggestions or feedback from anyone will mean a lot !!
Bro you scared her off being a possessive needy psycho.
You have no right to go down her phone after a few dates, if she's a 10/10 with guys buying her expensive gifts then of course she will be seeing other people. Did you have an exclusivity chat? Why can't she be seeing other people?
She may have been telling the truth wanting a relationship with you, but you've blown it. She's blocked you on social media so just leave her alone, anything else is just creepy.
How old are you?
You have no right to go down her phone after a few dates, if she's a 10/10 with guys buying her expensive gifts then of course she will be seeing other people. Did you have an exclusivity chat? Why can't she be seeing other people?
She may have been telling the truth wanting a relationship with you, but you've blown it. She's blocked you on social media so just leave her alone, anything else is just creepy.
How old are you?
hey bro, am in mid 30s.
The day she asked for a relationship, I asked clearly what does it means where she said she wanted a committed relations and we both agreed on getting rid of other ex/hookup from our phone/life.
So it was clear from myside and I maintained the same, while for her it didn't.
Many times she asked me when I was out if I am with another girl or when am on phone she will ask if am still talking to other girls. So for me it was same to ask her.
Why look at her phone? well , I think am glad I did before I spent more effort and emotions later to be found I have been cheated and dumped.
The day she asked for a relationship, I asked clearly what does it means where she said she wanted a committed relations and we both agreed on getting rid of other ex/hookup from our phone/life.
So it was clear from myside and I maintained the same, while for her it didn't.
Many times she asked me when I was out if I am with another girl or when am on phone she will ask if am still talking to other girls. So for me it was same to ask her.
Why look at her phone? well , I think am glad I did before I spent more effort and emotions later to be found I have been cheated and dumped.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
RedScorpion
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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I’d say the biggest red flag for me (out of the many) is the fact that she had sex with a guy one hour before she had sex with you. One hour! That’s pretty ****ing ridiculous.
I fully accept girls will sleep around, sure - but for her to be jumping around that soon after. That is really rapid. It shows she has no attachment to one particular guy, not bonding through sex. Rather, she’s chasing that feel-good pleasure, from either getting ****ed or having multiple men desire her sexually and passionately. I suspect the second due to her sending out the same revealing photo to multiple men.
There’s no way you could have had a dream of her cutting her previous men out of her life. That’s her M.O. - her way of life (unfortunately). Even if she fully wanted to change, people cannot change that rapidly. She will keep her style until she is forced out of it. Probably due to age or losing her looks (men no longer enticed by her). Even then...
Make no mistake, she was the one who blocked you initially, not her colleagues. She wants and craves that attention and drama - and control. Her messaging those men is feeling control over them, knowing that they are under her spell per say. Or infatuated with her. She plays those games right in front of you as well (texting another guy right there - massive disrespect).
She feels wild because she is wild. She’s an out of control bull that will chase any sudden movement in front of it - and trying to bulltame it is just as impossible and deadly as it might seem. She’s only playing the relationship angle because that’s what society deems acceptable and proper for people - but there’s no way she’ll hold to that.
I completely understand the desire to find a decent girl, who is also a fun and interesting girl. And the unfortunate allure of the wild and fun chick. But I don’t think it’s in any way possible with her (any sort of stability), and you’re more than likely just to get trampled under her charge.
I fully accept girls will sleep around, sure - but for her to be jumping around that soon after. That is really rapid. It shows she has no attachment to one particular guy, not bonding through sex. Rather, she’s chasing that feel-good pleasure, from either getting ****ed or having multiple men desire her sexually and passionately. I suspect the second due to her sending out the same revealing photo to multiple men.
There’s no way you could have had a dream of her cutting her previous men out of her life. That’s her M.O. - her way of life (unfortunately). Even if she fully wanted to change, people cannot change that rapidly. She will keep her style until she is forced out of it. Probably due to age or losing her looks (men no longer enticed by her). Even then...
Make no mistake, she was the one who blocked you initially, not her colleagues. She wants and craves that attention and drama - and control. Her messaging those men is feeling control over them, knowing that they are under her spell per say. Or infatuated with her. She plays those games right in front of you as well (texting another guy right there - massive disrespect).
She feels wild because she is wild. She’s an out of control bull that will chase any sudden movement in front of it - and trying to bulltame it is just as impossible and deadly as it might seem. She’s only playing the relationship angle because that’s what society deems acceptable and proper for people - but there’s no way she’ll hold to that.
I completely understand the desire to find a decent girl, who is also a fun and interesting girl. And the unfortunate allure of the wild and fun chick. But I don’t think it’s in any way possible with her (any sort of stability), and you’re more than likely just to get trampled under her charge.
Yes definitely, this is a wild hot temptress, we've all known them, eventually some beta cuck (and I don't use that term loosely) will wife her up and be sucked into a life of hell (if they have kids).
These women need to be either steered clear of or pump and dumped.
These women need to be either steered clear of or pump and dumped.
You hit the nail. She likes being desired by older richer man- dumping their wives/girlfriends and throwing money at her. Her favorite stories to tell how men chasing her.
Every time I saw her texting other guys, I punished her by walking out and she came running crying and begging that she will change but just need some more time.
To be honest, being in this game we man start liking the challenge and she just gave me that enough challenge to chase her which made me agree on the relationship part because it was fun and challenging unlike other girls I was/am dating which is easy and boring.
My question on this forum would be what next move should I make. As I am blocked in her IG , but I know she started dating some other man.
I am in NC for last 3 weeks now and she has not blocked me in other chat apps.
Well, do I want a relationship with her ? NO WAY ... but hangout and keep her in rotation? YES ... Plus just dating her make me learn so many things as these girls are natural player and so much things to be learned from them.
Every time I saw her texting other guys, I punished her by walking out and she came running crying and begging that she will change but just need some more time.
To be honest, being in this game we man start liking the challenge and she just gave me that enough challenge to chase her which made me agree on the relationship part because it was fun and challenging unlike other girls I was/am dating which is easy and boring.
My question on this forum would be what next move should I make. As I am blocked in her IG , but I know she started dating some other man.
I am in NC for last 3 weeks now and she has not blocked me in other chat apps.
Well, do I want a relationship with her ? NO WAY ... but hangout and keep her in rotation? YES ... Plus just dating her make me learn so many things as these girls are natural player and so much things to be learned from them.
I done goofed guys, but I feel somewhat better for it.
So I broke contact and met with the girl I mentioned in here. The one that chose someone else and let them move in after less than a month, but hoped we could still hang out and still talk etc etc as "friends" i.e fill in for him when he's away for work.
She saw on social media I was needed a temporary sofa whilst I fully furnish my flat. She sent some inside joke about hers and asked if I wanted it as she was getting rid to make room for a new one. It would save me money so I was blunt and told her sure if she arranged delivery I'd PayPal her the money. So she did, and even paid half of it. Next day she messaged asking if it had arrived alright and asking if I wanted to grab food one night after work.
Sooo we met up.
I still have some animosity towards her but I don't hate her. We got on like nothing had happened. No awkwardness. No awkward silences. Just caught up with some food and drinks and got on like old times. I didn't ask about her new relationship, but she did let slip about feeling lonely cause he's constantly working away and she feels like she's stuck in the same old routine. I wasn't going to be her emotional crutch so ignored and changed the subject. She did ask about my dating life and I was honest about it, telling her about some of the more recent funnier experiences with photos and message's to back them up. We also got on about my a flat and I jokingly said I need a women's eye when it comes to decorating the place, to which she replied she'll come shopping with me this weekend If I want, even suggesting which day and a time.
Through out the night she was touching me, maintaining eye contact and playing with her hair so there's still some attraction there I feel. Even when it came time to say good-bye she wouldn't let go when hugging me. She initiated talking the next day, with her double texting when I didn't reply. I went out that night so stopped talking to her completely. Woke up to a message about me being in a bar where goths go to and her jokingly asking is that my game plan now because I asked her to put in a word with someone she knows that goes there.
I dunno what changed that day but something flipped and all urge to talk and see her vanished. I didn't respond to her early message so she sent another one asking if we could change the time to go shopping even though it's not until this weekend. Basically told her I wasn't sure if I'd be definitely going but I'd let her know. She insisted she still wanted to go and the earlier time is still okay with her. I just left it there, she later sent a meme to which I never replied to.
I just have no urge to speak or see her whereas in the past I'd (stupidly) drop everything to spend time with her.
I guess that chapter is now finally closed.
So I broke contact and met with the girl I mentioned in here. The one that chose someone else and let them move in after less than a month, but hoped we could still hang out and still talk etc etc as "friends" i.e fill in for him when he's away for work.
She saw on social media I was needed a temporary sofa whilst I fully furnish my flat. She sent some inside joke about hers and asked if I wanted it as she was getting rid to make room for a new one. It would save me money so I was blunt and told her sure if she arranged delivery I'd PayPal her the money. So she did, and even paid half of it. Next day she messaged asking if it had arrived alright and asking if I wanted to grab food one night after work.
Sooo we met up.
I still have some animosity towards her but I don't hate her. We got on like nothing had happened. No awkwardness. No awkward silences. Just caught up with some food and drinks and got on like old times. I didn't ask about her new relationship, but she did let slip about feeling lonely cause he's constantly working away and she feels like she's stuck in the same old routine. I wasn't going to be her emotional crutch so ignored and changed the subject. She did ask about my dating life and I was honest about it, telling her about some of the more recent funnier experiences with photos and message's to back them up. We also got on about my a flat and I jokingly said I need a women's eye when it comes to decorating the place, to which she replied she'll come shopping with me this weekend If I want, even suggesting which day and a time.
Through out the night she was touching me, maintaining eye contact and playing with her hair so there's still some attraction there I feel. Even when it came time to say good-bye she wouldn't let go when hugging me. She initiated talking the next day, with her double texting when I didn't reply. I went out that night so stopped talking to her completely. Woke up to a message about me being in a bar where goths go to and her jokingly asking is that my game plan now because I asked her to put in a word with someone she knows that goes there.
I dunno what changed that day but something flipped and all urge to talk and see her vanished. I didn't respond to her early message so she sent another one asking if we could change the time to go shopping even though it's not until this weekend. Basically told her I wasn't sure if I'd be definitely going but I'd let her know. She insisted she still wanted to go and the earlier time is still okay with her. I just left it there, she later sent a meme to which I never replied to.
I just have no urge to speak or see her whereas in the past I'd (stupidly) drop everything to spend time with her.
I guess that chapter is now finally closed.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
@Buddha - far too much drama there dude. Block her and move on. Seriously, do you really want more of this BS in your life? All this "decoding" is BS dude, she is either into you and you can have good times or she isn't in which case block her. It doesn't matter why she isn't into you, she could be a nutcase and is not into anyone, or maybe she doesn't see you as a LTR option. People over complicate and over analyze something which is in actual fact very simple. We just don't want it to be simple and try and rationalize and look for "signs" and "signals"....
She text me asking if we're still going shopping this weekend. Didn't reply.
Text me again telling me she'll come over tonight and help me with anything in the flat if I want.
I actually feel bad for her boyfriend. I bet he has no idea about this situation.
Text me again telling me she'll come over tonight and help me with anything in the flat if I want.
I actually feel bad for her boyfriend. I bet he has no idea about this situation.
BondJamesBond424
Don Juan
Here's my story,
I basically missed her clues that she wanted to have sex on our 4th date and was too nice guy /respectful and was too wussy to make the move to flirt/escalate towards sex with her. Acting desperate and AFC. Now she friend zoned me, or, soft rejected me. Her last text to me was "I'll text you another day". (Soft rejection).
That was April 10, 2018. Today is day 62 of NC.
Meanwhile I've been out dating 3 other chicks. I'd really like to get with this one I'm NC. But if she doesn't contact me I'm still practicing my dating and PU skills.
I basically missed her clues that she wanted to have sex on our 4th date and was too nice guy /respectful and was too wussy to make the move to flirt/escalate towards sex with her. Acting desperate and AFC. Now she friend zoned me, or, soft rejected me. Her last text to me was "I'll text you another day". (Soft rejection).
That was April 10, 2018. Today is day 62 of NC.
Meanwhile I've been out dating 3 other chicks. I'd really like to get with this one I'm NC. But if she doesn't contact me I'm still practicing my dating and PU skills.
She won’t contact you unless maybe for some validation from an orbiter. You weren’t in a relationship, there’s no investment from her. Keep doing your thing but mentally you need to let her go.
