The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[TBG]

I'm still hearing from the girl I mentioned in here, it's a lot more spaced out but it still appears she thinks she can have the best of both worlds.

She text me at the start of the months asking to hang out. Turns out her boyfriend has a new job that involves working away regularly, so yeah she wanted to hang out because he wasn't around. She text me today with this inside joke, no doubt looking for attentione bbecause her boyfriend is away.

On the brighter side I've got a date tonight. Close to buying my first house. Things are on the up.

 

[Soflobro#2]

I'm still hearing from the girl I mentioned in here, it's a lot more spaced out but it still appears she thinks she can have the best of both worlds.

She text me at the start of the months asking to hang out. Turns out her boyfriend has a new job that involves working away regularly, so yeah she wanted to hang out because he wasn't around. She text me today with this inside joke, no doubt looking for attentione bbecause her boyfriend is away.

On the brighter side I've got a date tonight. Close to buying my first house. Things are on the up.

Holy sh1t she has a new boyfriend and she's still trying to string you along ? What a cvnt. My exes never tried that sh1t with me They usually want nothing to do with me and honestly I don't blame them.

Friend fvck her. Ignore her. You're a man, you're durable. You have more value than her. You're better than her.

For me I just have a very demanding job and I just make it my passion. You should do something similar. But also see other women if you'd like.

However your feel now will change. For better or for worse and in time you won't even care about her. Just stay focused. You will succeed

 

[TBG]

Yeah it's clear she's still trying to have the best of both worlds. Again she's asked to hang out this weekend. Again her boyfriend is away.

She claims her boyfriend has no problem with it. I doubt he's actually been told or knows our full story.

 

[SteveSDCA]

I'm trying this for the hell of it. We only saw each other for 4 weeks. She was only in town for that long. If it had gone well we could have seen each other some times still. It started out as dating and turned into just FB's. But yes, I texted her a couple of days after she left. I gave her the very thing she wanted-attention. In the end she had the power because I put up with her playing more and more hard to get as time went by. This will be interesting.

 

[Soflobro#2]

I'm trying this for the hell of it. We only saw each other for 4 weeks. She was only in town for that long. If it had gone well we could have seen each other some times still. It started out as dating and turned into just FB's. But yes, I texted her a couple of days after she left. I gave her the very thing she wanted-attention. In the end she had the power because I put up with her playing more and more hard to get as time went by. This will be interesting.

This sounds just like my ex. What the fvck. And it drove me nuts. Why would someone do that to another person?

 

[cedricz]

I don't really get the point of the non contact challenge if your goal is only moving on
If it is 100% toast and that there is no way back, i'd rather have a huge fight with her and bring up the worst of herself; Say hurtful things and blow it up for good. In an outburst of rage she may tell some truths like she cheated on you etc..
This is usually pretty easy to initiate given that 9 times out of 10 dumpers tend to behave with cruelty and disrespect
At least you both hate your guts after that and can move on without regrets
If i'm not going to see that person ever again i don't give a rat a** about blowing up everything and burning bridges
You may think this is weak, maybe, whatever dude, at the end of the day you would probably move on much faster this way rather than pining forever for a chick who probably doesn't deserve it anyway.
after that, there is no more temptations to reach her out except maybe to call each other names

If your plan is to get her back, well, yeah sure, you can set your timer on 3 or 4 months from now and hit her up to see if she's still with another guy or down to talk
But going 100% non contact if she dumped your a** and lost attraction for you probably isn't going to bring her back; maybe she will call you if she get dumped or depressed for some reason but it won't create enough incentive for her to want you back
.
I'd think the only way is to let her cool down for a while maybe a month or two or more depending on how much she hates you, let some time erase the bad memories and how you acted beta during the breakup... and then initiate contact to reseduce her like you would do with a new chick, with a non needy outcome independent mindset; that would only happen if she is willing to communicate of course
If she has a new boyfriend there is no point contacting her during the honeymoon period or you will get blown away big time; you must either wait for the relationship to fail; and it will; or wait for new boyfriend to become old boyfriend and then initate contact; Since most women line up backups or cheat on their old bf, it shouldn't be a problem

 

[Murk]

That's quite a refreshing post - I do believe though that once a relationship has broken down it's best to just improve yourself and get a better girl. Find a woman better than the last one by improving yourself.

How many people find happiness with a relationship that fell apart and months or a year later got back together?

Stop idolising the relationship, it was never that good, there's much better out there.

 

[SteveSDCA]

I'm not trying to get her back. Like Murkserious said, there's a better one out there. I am already going on dates to find a LTR and am meeting a possible FB tonight.

 

[Reykhel]

I am already going on dates to find a LTR

What's missing in you that makes you feel like you need one?

 

[SteveSDCA]

What's missing in you that makes you feel like you need one?

I don't need one.

 

[cedricz]

That's quite a refreshing post - I do believe though that once a relationship has broken down it's best to just improve yourself and get a better girl. Find a woman better than the last one by improving yourself.

How many people find happiness with a relationship that fell apart and months or a year later got back together?

Stop idolising the relationship, it was never that good, there's much better out there.

Well the general belief is that you should never get back to an ex
Maybe this is true in many cases
But there are special circumstances eg. long distance or business / financial problems which can really weight on the relationship and mood
My ex and i essentially broke up for the 2 reasons above
Both problems have recently been solved few months after the breakup ; does it mean we should never be together again?

Also, sometime guys need to be kicked out of the relationship to realize what they want. Example: guy takes his woman for granted and/or does not really know what he wants, isn't sure he wants to fully commit with marriage or moving together
The sudden loss makes him realize how miserable he is without his woman and eventually fights to get her back and settle down

Yes some people are just incompatible and hate their guts or attraction is lost but that's not the case for 100% of breakups
Hence this general idea that trying to get an ex back is wrong doesn't make any sense
Every relationship is different

 

[Murk]

But if you broke up due to long distance, that problem is still going to be there no? The financial problems? Isn't it easier to start from scratch with girl where neither of these things will be an issue?

 

[Soflobro#2]

Yeah it's clear she's still trying to have the best of both worlds. Again she's asked to hang out this weekend. Again her boyfriend is away.

She claims her boyfriend has no problem with it. I doubt he's actually been told or knows our full story.

Of course not. Either she is hiding this, or bullshviting him and saying it's purely platonic.

A woman who values you wouldn't even want to hang out with another man alone because she would do everything she can to avoid jeopardizing the relationship with you.

 

[cedricz]

But if you broke up due to long distance, that problem is still going to be there no? The financial problems? Isn't it easier to start from scratch with girl where neither of these things will be an issue?

i'm in the same city now and business is good

finding a pretty woman is relatively easy; finding a pretty woman with a great personality that knocks your socks off is much harder; there are many women out there but the older you get the more pecular, elitist and inflexible you become.
That makes you look back and pine about your ex much harder than what you do in your 20s

 

[Murk]

I hear that.

Ok so what's your plan, next steps.

 

[cedricz]

I hear that.

Ok so what's your plan, next steps.

Next step is to find a better girl; it's going to take some time but it is what it is
The ex won't come back, unless she gets her a** dumped by the new guy.
The new guy my ex is dating is her ultimate fantasy; a model she has been stalking for years; she apparently had him lined up and waited for him to breakup with his girlfriend which happened more or less synchronously with us

 

[TBG]

Of course not. Either she is hiding this, or bullshviting him and saying it's purely platonic.

A woman who values you wouldn't even want to hang out with another man alone because she would do everything she can to avoid jeopardizing the relationship with you.

I'm going with hiding.

It turns out her boyfriend works off shore, two weeks on, two weeks off. It's funny how she only gets in contact and wants to hang during the two weeks he's away isn't it......

 

[Soflobro#2]

I'm going with hiding.

It turns out her boyfriend works off shore, two weeks on, two weeks off. It's funny how she only gets in contact and wants to hang during the two weeks he's away isn't it......

Why would she do that when he's not even going to be available?

 

[Soflobro#2]

That's quite a refreshing post - I do believe though that once a relationship has broken down it's best to just improve yourself and get a better girl. Find a woman better than the last one by improving yourself.

How many people find happiness with a relationship that fell apart and months or a year later got back together?

Stop idolising the relationship, it was never that good, there's much better out there.

For me it was usually because they made my life much more convenient. But it's not good for me because they just enable me to be lazy and a low key addict.

 

[TBG]

Why would she do that when he's not even going to be available?

Dude the whole situation is crazy.

They went on two dates, he left to go traveling for three months, we get together during that time. He comes back. She decides to pursue things with him. He moves in after officially dating for only a month. Fair enough he was obviously still there in the background when he was away, but to move in after a month, come on now.

Fair play to him though. He's probably not paying rent. He has sex on tap when he comes back. He doesn't have to put up with her constant depression whillst he's away working.