The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[TBG]

Yeah I've got no intention going back there. Only reason I broke was because I was sick of her playing victim with the whole why you ignoring me guilt trip. Right or wrong I felt she needed put in her place.

 

[Spaz]

For most of you here going through breakups;

Know this, what u r going through is normal, it's part of growing up into a better and more productive man.

You can't escape it.

Thank the woman who has been in your life, there were moments when it was good, savor it as it brought joy into your life. Now you know what love is and what joy it can bring. You also learnt what is betrayal and all that it entails. You have learnt much. You have lost nothing but now gained insight. Remember that when you feel down.

Say goodbye to her now. She has done her job. It's over. They may be other women in the future that does the same again but it's okay. You will be stronger and wiser each and every time.

Do not fear rejection as it is your teacher.

Now plan on how to be a great man. A man that's greater then he was in the past. A man with a purpose and a plan.

Be that man.

 

[Paradiddle]

Hey Guys, one quick question, don't you think that even the girls go through same kind of sites such as so suave and apply the same rule just to get us back? What if they have been waiting for us to call back? I knew my ex went through this **** called Cosmopolitan and stuff which teaches women to pet their men.

 

[RedScorpion]

No contact is not to get her back. It's for you to be able to move on and heal, for a better woman in the future. It just so happens that same action of no contact also maximizes your chances of reconciliation - if you choose to.

There are many hundreds of stories on here. Many guys, including those who are great with women, have given in and contacted them. Some even after some 'hope' from the girl, her saying she misses him and all - then he says he misses her too, pushes for things to work. Then she never follows up.

It's a story on repeat, and one that's easy to fall into. You try to 'put yourself in their shoes'. Well, turns out you're more likely putting your feelings as if she's feeling the same.

Things fell apart for a reason, and it's not easy to undo that constant rationalization in trying to 'fix' things to the way when it was good. The only real chance in general is somehow causing her to miss you or the times you had - and that can only be done with time and space.

If you're ever in doubt, read this thread through on everyone's stories. Or if you need absolute proof - go ahead and contact her (would recommend reading much so first). Maybe you'll be that lucky shot. That way, you'll know for sure, and you'll know for the future.

 

[European-DJ]

You try to 'put yourself in their shoes'. Well, turns out you're more likely putting your feelings as if she's feeling the same.

This sentence is golden and summarises the problems of 2/3 guys in thread; most guys in here are having trouble moving on due to the irrational assumption of her experiencing the same feelings as you. She's not. That is why you guys are not together anymore and why she hasn't been chasing you. I am a victim of this sort of irrational thinking myself - and even though it sucks, we have to leave the woman who tore our heart apart behind, in order to make space for the next woman.

Trust me guys. Going back and being granted another chance with a girl does NOT equal happiness, quite the contrary. I have won back two of my three exes using no contact, and I am no longer with any of them - in fact, the second time we got together things ended even worse than the first time.

I know it is hard and that you probably wont take what I am reading to heart, but remember that you guys broke up for a reason - whatever the reason, I can guarantee you that at the time it was done, it was the absolutely right thing to do.

All the best,
European

 

[TBG]

Haha she actually had to tell you things were going great with the bf, yeah so great she’s seeking attention from a guy she used to bang. Women make me sick sometimes.

I would never message her again, it’s done.

She's back again.

Had been posting on Instagram stories my snow day. Basically joking about how much snow was in my beard and now my long(ish) hair. Guys, women love long hair it would appear.

Any ways I also posted a selfie, looking really good if I do say so myself titled "Finally defrosted". Immediately gets loads of 'likes' from girls and not long after she texts me saying "Not perished in the snow yet?".

Actually tempted to break contact with "Have you? I know how cold your flat gets. Want me to come keep you warm?"

 

[Murk]

Ooooo she bad

 

[TBG]

Yep.

Not gonna actually break contact though. I know it's just a case of her wanting attention.

 

[Murk]

Of course, she's seeing this other guy who is not totally fulfilling her, it's not your job to be the "top-up guy"

Well done on the NC - many would have crumbled

 

[dude99]

"Not perished in the snow yet?".
"

Ignore. Delete. Do nothing else.

 

[TBG]

She's messaged again asking if I want to do something this weekend.

Considering her boyfriend lives about three hours away, you'd think she would be spending the weekends with him. It's almost as If just picks and chooses when he wants to see her, almost as if he's after something......

 

[dude99]

She's messaged again asking if I want to do something this weekend.

Considering her boyfriend lives about three hours away, you'd think she would be spending the weekends with him. It's almost as If just picks and chooses when he wants to see her, almost as if he's after something......

She is wanting to see if she still has you on a string. She is looking for validation while her BF is 3 hours away.

Ignore delete.

 

[MrWood]

Hey SoSuave dudes... MrWood is back.
Some of you may have read my postings here, given advice and support. (thank you bro's)
I am 100% certain I would be much worse off had I never found this place!

This an update and opinion post, so take it for what its worth.

1st.
NC works for all that you want. first to yourself always.
NC saves souls, not relationships.
IF SHE contacts you, it is YOUR choice to do, or not do ANYTHING
In my case 9mo passed, I accepted her reach out contact and we got back together
Things we mostly good... but her interest was never as it had been, infrequent calls and messages...
After 1.5 yr she has simply "poof", gone again... no warning, no nothing. Just after a fabulous 10days in Italy
She was my "ghost", she haunted me with what if... her smile, her t1ts, her pvssy

GHOSTS are DEAD. GHOSTS are what you think an ALIVE person has become... GHOSTS do not exist


2nd.
Use SoSuave to LEARN about basic female behavior, no need for full red pill, but grow your balls!
Use the tactics from the gurus and alphas... give/take,push/pull, scarcity.
Use NC type tactics in your text game, you are a busy man... doing what? Who cares as long as they are wondering.

3rd.
BE THE MAN
Lead and she will follow. I literally tell girls that "I am the man, take my arm and follow my lead".
*girls eat this up, but you MUST follow this up solidly.
WOMEN want to be girls, treat them and tell them this is what they are.
YOU are a MOUNTAIN, they are butterflies... nothing they can do can MOVE YOUR MOUNTAIN (sh1t tests)
WOMEN love confidence, they NEED you to be confident in yourself... this hurts them when they dump you
(too bad they realize this only after jumping on the flashy and shining carousel of c0cks)

4th.
She WILL stuff her cun7 with c0cks and not tell you... take her back and she has 0 respect in you...
She will leave you again. but... Still love her???
Enjoy used pvssy? Are you a cuck?
She SPREAD HER LEGS to some dude without a simple CARE to YOU.
She is not your friend, friends do not treat you with selfish disregard

5th.
YOUR pain is real. YES it is fvcked...
You will transcend... become STRONGER not bitter

Thank her for showing you... your balls. (that red pill helps the swelling go down)

 

[Murk]

Banging other girls is definitely the way forward. I haven't seen my ex since Jan 14th, we broke NC 2.5 weeks ago to basically argue over text (well, more her telling me what a selfish low value human being I am) to which I told her I'm seeing someone new and never truly loved her (felt good doing that).

I still find myself thinking about her, missing the good times, even though I've found a hotter, better girl and banged several others in the last 6/7 weeks. Something keeps making me think about this ex.

 

[Spaz]

Banging other girls is definitely the way forward. I haven't seen my ex since Jan 14th, we broke NC 2.5 weeks ago to basically argue over text (well, more her telling me what a selfish low value human being I am) to which I told her I'm seeing someone new and never truly loved her (felt good doing that).

I still find myself thinking about her, missing the good times, even though I've found a hotter, better girl and banged several others in the last 6/7 weeks. Something keeps making me think about this ex.

You don't love her anymore and I'm guessing u don't find her quite as attractive as before.

What's now left is the bond you both shared.

The bond is always the last to go. Do not mistake your bond with her equals love. It is not.

I can guarantee that any couple who has been together for 1 year or more will hv deep rooted bond between them.

Even when ur ex made the decision to leave you she will likely take about a year to remove most but not all the bonds that used to bind u 2 together.

 

[Spaz]

Hey SoSuave dudes... MrWood is back.
Some of you may have read my postings here, given advice and support. (thank you bro's)
I am 100% certain I would be much worse off had I never found this place!

This an update and opinion post, so take it for what its worth.

1st.
NC works for all that you want. first to yourself always.
NC saves souls, not relationships.
IF SHE contacts you, it is YOUR choice to do, or not do ANYTHING
In my case 9mo passed, I accepted her reach out contact and we got back together
Things we mostly good... but her interest was never as it had been, infrequent calls and messages...
After 1.5 yr she has simply "poof", gone again... no warning, no nothing. Just after a fabulous 10days in Italy
She was my "ghost", she haunted me with what if... her smile, her t1ts, her pvssy

GHOSTS are DEAD. GHOSTS are what you think an ALIVE person has become... GHOSTS do not exist


2nd.
Use SoSuave to LEARN about basic female behavior, no need for full red pill, but grow your balls!
Use the tactics from the gurus and alphas... give/take,push/pull, scarcity.
Use NC type tactics in your text game, you are a busy man... doing what? Who cares as long as they are wondering.

3rd.
BE THE MAN
Lead and she will follow. I literally tell girls that "I am the man, take my arm and follow my lead".
*girls eat this up, but you MUST follow this up solidly.
WOMEN want to be girls, treat them and tell them this is what they are.
YOU are a MOUNTAIN, they are butterflies... nothing they can do can MOVE YOUR MOUNTAIN (sh1t tests)
WOMEN love confidence, they NEED you to be confident in yourself... this hurts them when they dump you
(too bad they realize this only after jumping on the flashy and shining carousel of c0cks)

4th.
She WILL stuff her cun7 with c0cks and not tell you... take her back and she has 0 respect in you...
She will leave you again. but... Still love her???
Enjoy used pvssy? Are you a cuck?
She SPREAD HER LEGS to some dude without a simple CARE to YOU.
She is not your friend, friends do not treat you with selfish disregard

5th.
YOUR pain is real. YES it is fvcked...
You will transcend... become STRONGER not bitter

Thank her for showing you... your balls. (that red pill helps the swelling go down)

Hahaha

Good post !

 

[Murk]

You don't love her anymore and I'm guessing u don't find her quite as attractive as before.

What's now left is the bond you both shared.

The bond is always the last to go. Do not mistake your bond with her equals love. It is not.

I can guarantee that any couple who has been together for 1 year or more will hv deep rooted bond between them.

Even when ur ex made the decision to leave you she will likely take about a year to remove most but not all the bonds that used to bind u 2 together.

SO true. It's the bond, the feeling of closeness, the shared happiness and sadness. The way she cared for me, took days off work and booked an art gallery for us to go to on my mums bday (my mum was an artist). The many little things she did that I took for granted.

Anyway, just kicked a girl out of my house 11:23am Sunday, she didn't want to leave, hb8 that turns to a hb 6 in the morning, yuk, I'm back to not wanting her now. Shame as I introduced her to everyone one Friday and they loved her. Just not hot enough for me and too clingy (I literally had to lie and say I had family coming over to get rid of her today).

 

[Spaz]

SO true. It's the bond, the feeling of closeness, the shared happiness and sadness. The way she cared for me, took days off work and booked an art gallery for us to go to on my mums bday (my mum was an artist). The many little things she did that I took for granted.

Anyway, just kicked a girl out of my house 11:23am Sunday, she didn't want to leave, hb8 that turns to a hb 6 in the morning, yuk, I'm back to not wanting her now. Shame as I introduced her to everyone one Friday and they loved her. Just not hot enough for me and too clingy (I literally had to lie and say I had family coming over to get rid of her today).

Don't rush into another relationship. S€x with women is fine and normal but NO relationships until your bond with your ex has diminished to almost nothing.

Anyone coming out from a LTR needs time to be alone, adjust and reaffirm his frame.

That's my experience.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Had months of no contact with my ex now, but I thought this'd be the place to bring up something amusing and sad at the same time.

When I broke up with her over the phone she was in tears and she ended by literally saying:

"Thank you. Thank you so much, you've been so good to me and so understanding. We would have done really well, it just didn't work out. Thanks again."

In my books that translates to an amiable split, right?

Well, she texted me around my birthday 6 months after we split saying she was drunk and she wanted to "settle a few things", ended up telling me I didn't support her enough and I was "very unfair" sometimes. Which, given what I remember her saying when we split, I thought was a bit vindictive.

Unfortunately I was drunk too and ended up getting a bit emo and emotional, chatting s*** about how I miss her a bit, how life's dull atm for me too (cringe why did I say that?) and trying to be nice. But after 10 mins I had the presence of mind to end the conversation politely and forget all of it.

Bear in mind it was a 3-4 month relationship and she's still thinking of me 6 months later, that's got to be a win for me really? I think she hasn't even had another BF since.

Just shows you that even decent girls will try to blame you for their problems after you split if they can.

 

[Die Hard]

Broke up February 12th, been No Contact since February 15th..

It's just like rehab from drugs, will make you feel like sh!t and craving for your fix, but you gotta stay disciplined. Easier said than done, though.. Overall, I'm okay but there are these occasional moments when I'm alone at home and just feel fvcking empty inside.. That's when you start to think things over and reminisce, and those are the dangerous moments when you almost impulsively grab your phone and text her... Just had such a moment, that's why I came here to write in this thread, to prevent myself from stupid actions. Everytime you contact her, the counter starts at zero again!!

The longest breakup we had was 6 weeks and I went back to her after that, so I know I'm still in the danger zone right now (only 3 weeks since the breakup). Gotta stay strong and keep it up..