The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Reboot2017]

I broke up with my girl for good last night. I have nothing but love and kindness for her, but the relationship was going no where and she is too young. We just have different goals and want to lead different lifestyles. So, I finally pulled the trigger. I feel really good about my decision.

Excellent way to take control of the situation and strike out like a real alpha. She will remember that more than anything else I imagine. Hope things are good thus far and you are keeping the moral up.

I've already lost 8 pounds in 5 days since the breakup since I have no appetite. Need to preserve muscle mass.

Mass gain powder helps a lot if you are not motivated to chow down. I lost 10 pounds due to my break up and have not being eating well since. However, thanks to the powder, I have regain 5 pounds and am still sustaining my bulk.

Day 43 of NC. Day 60 is looming up. I am going to cross the finish line soon enough. The pain has numbed. I rarely feel it anymore. Occasionally, I have this curiosity about what she is doing and who she is out with but its more of a niggling thing at the back of my mind rather than something that occupies me 100%. Having said, I have had bad days where I spent hours on bed contemplating and running through nonsensical things in my head. What is interesting is even in those states, I can eventually rationalize it out and snap out of it. Big relief there.

On the self development front, I am attacking a quadrant of private goals which keep me happy and occupied. I have been socializing a lot more due to dance. Bagged a HB7 Russian mom yesterday. Thanks again Salsa. Did not really make me happy to be honest. She comes with her own set of issues and ex problems. I am going to keep this on the edges of my social periphery for the moment. Cannot let this thing disrupt my goals. The only thing it made me realize that I am really on the right path. As my SMV is raising albeit slowly, I already notice the results of it. On the gym side, I started the 5x5 stronglift program. Lifting light due to persistent injury but things will turn around soon I hope. Like I said the last time, I am far from getting my life together but for the first time in a year, I feel upbeat.

Stay strong brothers. Peace.

 

[finality]

I ended up breaking contact the last 2 days. The first day she sent me a couple texts that I felt needed responding too. I called her shortly after but she didn't pick up. Then I sent her a message last night but she appears to be ghosting me.

I honestly thought we would be silent for a couple days and then end up back together.

Perhaps the whole thing was a power struggle to regain control after getting back together.

What seems obvious now is that I overestimated her interest level in me. She said the classic things like saying her name has a good ring to my last name, tAlked about wanting kids with me one day, she was in the process of moving in with me.

This really makes you over confident as a guy and in self reflection I was not the same guy in the end as I was in the beginning of the relationship. I let myself slip.

I went through a similar breakup a year ago and it was hell. Typical advice of bang a bunch of women and you will forget about her did not work for me. Eventually I powered through it and found my new ex but I believe I have unresolved issued from previous breakups and that's what is impacting my depressive state right now. I've had to take a week offf work because I cannot think straight.

 

[attic]

I ended up breaking contact the last 2 days. The first day she sent me a couple texts that I felt needed responding too. I called her shortly after but she didn't pick up. Then I sent her a message last night but she appears to be ghosting me.

...

Same thing happened to me. Let myself slip in the relationship.

Happens.

Bad idea to contact her. Also, if in back of your mind you thought you guys would get back together, that's great, but don't ever devalue that part of yourself by putting up with anything less from her, or yourself.

If you want to get back together that's fine. Only contact should be regarding that, don't let any other BS deflect from that.

If you still want to get back with her after 60 days, or more, of NC, then go for it. What kind of man is she going to want to be with in a relationship?, someone going out and kicking ass?, or someone waiting on his heels for her to fall back on?

Cliffs: Stay positive and move on. She will reach out once you do.

 

[MrAddiction]

If you still want to get back with her after 60 days, or more, of NC, then go for it

I do not think that this is such good advice.
Never get back with an ex. It will only get worse and the next breakup which is gonna be inevitable will only cause more pain.

 

[soulforge]

Do you guys think dumping a bad quality chick is an Alpha thing to do?

Even tho you loved her...

I dumped mine 4 months ago.. and blocked her ass completely..

How does a woman take being dumped for chitty behaviour, then getting blocked on everything???

 

[MrAddiction]

Do you guys think dumping a bad quality chick is an Alpha thing to do?

Even tho you loved her...

I dumped mine 4 months ago.. and blocked her ass completely..

How does a woman take being dumped for chitty behaviour, then getting blocked on everything???

This are all the wrong questions.
The right question: was it the right thing to do?
Answer: Yes ist was. And in your case - same as in mine - it was the only thing to do.
And if that beta/alpha thing is important to you: which beta would have the balls and willpower to Walk always from an unpleasing situation when he is in Love with a woman? None would.

 

[attic]

I do not think that this is such good advice.
Never get back with an ex. It will only get worse and the next breakup which is gonna be inevitable will only cause more pain.

Yes, you are correct.

 

[finality]

I reached out to her one more time. I know its a bad idea but it happened. She replied back from my text yesterday and then I basically told her today that I hope she makes her way back to me after she responded saying she felt lost. That was it. Just a simple 1 liner.

In hindsight I should just stay NC but she kind of manipulated me saying she wishes I was there to support her. I don't even know what the hell this means since I already told her that I wanted to work things out.

Anyways, she has ghosted me since the last text.

But the positive about this is I feel like its out of my hands now. I've started my position and I don't have to wonder or second guess myself.

I've already decided that I'm going to take a break of women if things don't work out with me ex.

My last breakup I ended up sleeping with 5-6 women in a couple months and it didn't really do anything for me. I had a hard time staying hard because I didn't have any connection at all and was just using them for sex.

I'm also finally beat my porn addiction that I feel is responsible for ruining my last 2 relationships. Its pretty messed up but if I don't watch porn I have no labido and I need to think of my fav sex scenes to stay hard with women a lot of the time. On day 5 of NoFap.

 

[finality]

I have to admit this is the first time I've ever experienced a girl ghosting me like this.

It's one thing if we had a major fight we it was kind of mutual and she texted me a few times and asked to see me once. Granted I might've got a little AFC but I wasn't begging or anything just said I missed her and didn't want to lose her.

Obviously by saying that I gave her the upper hand but I don't get why she wouldn't just say hey.. it's not going to work out best of luck ect.

I did tell her to take her time and think about things and we can talk in the
Future if you want but still I don't get the radio silence.


Do I tack her lack of communication as an indicator that she had no interest in me. Is she shagging up with another guy and just wants to avoid me?

Obviously I can't reach out but don't get why she would ask to meet up and then text a couple times and the ghost without telling m it's over

So I tell her it's done so at least I have peace of mind or just stay no contact. Obviously she is practising no contact

Need some help form the gurus here

 

[attic]

I have to admit this is the first time I've ever experienced a girl ghosting me like this.

It's one thing if we had a major fight we it was kind of mutual and she texted me a few times and asked to see me once. Granted I might've got a little AFC but I wasn't begging or anything just said I missed her and didn't want to lose her.

Obviously by saying that I gave her the upper hand but I don't get why she wouldn't just say hey.. it's not going to work out best of luck ect.

I did tell her to take her time and think about things and we can talk in the
Future if you want but still I don't get the radio silence.


Do I tack her lack of communication as an indicator that she had no interest in me. Is she shagging up with another guy and just wants to avoid me?

Obviously I can't reach out but don't get why she would ask to meet up and then text a couple times and the ghost without telling m it's over

So I tell her it's done so at least I have peace of mind or just stay no contact. Obviously she is practising no contact

Need some help form the gurus here

If you want to talk to her, call her and tell her that and have a time and location in mind. No more texts.

If you are overly anxious thinking about this, then you are not in a position to dominate her in the face to face.

Were I you, I would give it 60 days of NC, and I would block her during this time. What will happen when you block her is you will allow yourself to focus on you and improve yourself.


She said she feels lost. Only you can decide if she's worth suffering for, but it will cause you real pain if you hang on with this girl.

 

[Rxnxg]

08.06.2017 - I'm gonna do the challenge, since I still love my ex and I want to move on, I've tried to get her back and was futile.
She messages me everyday, so I'm just gonna reply if it's necessary or reply shortly to cut the conversation, I know it's gonna hurt A LOT, but I have to.

I feel like if I block her when I come back she will not be there anymore, since she has enough attention to "replace" my presence.

 

[Rxnxg]

I reached out to her one more time. I know its a bad idea but it happened. She replied back from my text yesterday and then I basically told her today that I hope she makes her way back to me after she responded saying she felt lost. That was it. Just a simple 1 liner.

In hindsight I should just stay NC but she kind of manipulated me saying she wishes I was there to support her. I don't even know what the hell this means since I already told her that I wanted to work things out.

Anyways, she has ghosted me since the last text.

But the positive about this is I feel like its out of my hands now. I've started my position and I don't have to wonder or second guess myself.

I've already decided that I'm going to take a break of women if things don't work out with me ex.

My last breakup I ended up sleeping with 5-6 women in a couple months and it didn't really do anything for me. I had a hard time staying hard because I didn't have any connection at all and was just using them for sex.

I'm also finally beat my porn addiction that I feel is responsible for ruining my last 2 relationships. Its pretty messed up but if I don't watch porn I have no labido and I need to think of my fav sex scenes to stay hard with women a lot of the time. On day 5 of NoFap.

I think you tried everything that was in your hands to get her back, but the NC rule is not about getting her back or not, it's about you being fine. I'm not in position to tell you that since probably i'm ****ing up more than you, but you have to think about yourself and let her go.

If she really loves you she will come back to you after you're done with the no contact, and i'm sure that without the pain you're feeling now you will be able to talk with her better, and decide if you really want to try or not to be with her if there is any possibility.

Best regards,

 

[finality]

Day 2. Still don't understand the radio silence on her part.

Looking at it objectively it has to mean she doesn't care thought right?

She either already has another guy she is shacking up with... this would explain the distance and fighting the week before we broke up or she just doesn't care about me.

Perhaps her ghosting me is her way of not dealing with the guilt of monkey branching?

Either way, her silience does not indicate anything positive as far as getting back together.

Part of me is tempted is to say something of the effect that I'm moving on.. more for my own peace of mind.. but at the same time every message I send just gives her a bit of power.

I guess I'm a little jaded because my last ex could not go more than a few days of no contact. I've legit never had a girl go radio silent on me.

 

[finality]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

 

[Reboot2017]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

Do not really think it is over but girls work on attention. And the more attention you pour on her, the more validated she feels and the easier it is to ignore you and branch swing. Withdraw your attention, live your life for real and get yourself a mission in life and she might come back. Key word there is might because nothing is certain in life. However, this is your best option at the moment in my humble opinion. Also, try rereading the post below. Applicable for both you and Rxnxg I think. I wouldn't recommend doing NC to manipulate her back but it could be used for the dark arts like many guys can attest to...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/

 

[soulforge]

Do not really think it is over but girls work on attention. And the more attention you pour on her, the more validated she feels and the easier it is to ignore you and branch swing. Withdraw your attention, live your life for real and get yourself a mission in life and she might come back. Key word there is might because nothing is certain in life. However, this is your best option at the moment in my humble opinion. Also, try rereading the post below. Applicable for both you and Rxnxg I think. I wouldn't recommend doing NC to manipulate her back but it could be used for the dark arts like many guys can attest to...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-just-got-dumped-guide.155594/

Hi Reebot just wanted your opinion.. I completely blocked my ex, and even changed my mobile number..

She cannot text, or ring at all... extreme no contact...

This has been a mixed bag of emotions for me..

In one hand, i know on occasions my ex treated me poorly, she disrespected me, and showed no accountability or remorse for it..

So she deserves to be blocked and gotten rid of...

Then there are days where I feel like... what if she realises her mistake.. what if she wants to reach out, and try to rebuild a better relationship...

By going extreme NC on her.. I will never know???


But.. i am pretty much going with my gut instinct right now, on the basis, that this woman is NOT good for me..

She cannot, and will not change... and removing this cancer forever is my ONLY option...

 

[Reboot2017]

Hi Reebot just wanted your opinion.. I completely blocked my ex, and even changed my mobile number..

She cannot text, or ring at all... extreme no contact...

This has been a mixed bag of emotions for me..

In one hand, i know on occasions my ex treated me poorly, she disrespected me, and showed no accountability or remorse for it..

So she deserves to be blocked and gotten rid of...

Then there are days where I feel like... what if she realises her mistake.. what if she wants to reach out, and try to rebuild a better relationship...

By going extreme NC on her.. I will never know???


But.. i am pretty much going with my gut instinct right now, on the basis, that this woman is NOT good for me..

She cannot, and will not change... and removing this cancer forever is my ONLY option...

I guess the point is to revisit your original reason for NC. It is not to get her back (I hope) but rather to move on and become a better person who can attract quality people (not just women). I have been following your posts soulforge for a while now and I think you are inflicted with an overdose of oneitis. I feel for you and I guess she must have been a hell of a broad despite all the shortcomings. However, I think your instinct is dead on about her and you do deserve better and not some post wall chick's beta provider. Listen to all the other posters on this and do not doubt yourself regardless of how you feel at times.

Realize the problem is not her and getting her to change so that you guys can have a Disney ending. The problem is what is up with your life and why do you need a woman to fill the hole that you have in it. If I am not mistaken, something to do with finance. I imagine you get that sorted out, continue lifting and keep on strict NC, you will wake one day with 3 super hot models half your age in your bed. The best part about it is, you will be annoyed that they are taking up so much space and all you want to do is get some sleep... I imagine at that point you will think of your ex and say a silent thank you to her for putting you on the right path... Stay strong brother.

 

[Rxnxg]

Called her and she didn't pick up. Just wanted at least some kind of closure. Guess it really is over.

Don't do it again, stay strong and you'll be fine soon enough!

 

[soulforge]

I guess the point is to revisit your original reason for NC. It is not to get her back (I hope) but rather to move on and become a better person who can attract quality people (not just women). I have been following your posts soulforge for a while now and I think you are inflicted with an overdose of oneitis. I feel for you and I guess she must have been a hell of a broad despite all the shortcomings. However, I think your instinct is dead on about her and you do deserve better and not some post wall chick's beta provider. Listen to all the other posters on this and do not doubt yourself regardless of how you feel at times.

Realize the problem is not her and getting her to change so that you guys can have a Disney ending. The problem is what is up with your life and why do you need a woman to fill the hole that you have in it. If I am not mistaken, something to do with finance. I imagine you get that sorted out, continue lifting and keep on strict NC, you will wake one day with 3 super hot models half your age in your bed. The best part about it is, you will be annoyed that they are taking up so much space and all you want to do is get some sleep... I imagine at that point you will think of your ex and say a silent thank you to her for putting you on the right path... Stay strong brother.

Thank you bro... I am somewhat proud of myself, as i have managed 4 months NC and have not even once caved in..

I had the urges to contact her yes.. but I battled through those feelings..

Sometimes we get days of weakness, but thanks to guys like you, and your encouragement, we pull through another day.. another week.. another month..

I guess i am feeling a little down at the moment because.. lifting and training was something that was SERIOUSLY getting me through this break up..

I was feeling strong, looking bigger, and feeling better.. but last week I managed to get a shoulder injury.. rotator cuff..

And i have to lay off the training for a while.. really gutted about this, but I have no choice but to rest, recover..

But i'm not going to let this injury defeat me.. once my shoulder is feeling better, i will get straight back on it...

Hitting the gym again, improving my finances.. become a much better version of me..

Thank you for the encouragement man.. it's appreciated

 

[Reboot2017]

Thank you bro... I am somewhat proud of myself, as i have managed 4 months NC and have not even once caved in..

I had the urges to contact her yes.. but I battled through those feelings..

Sometimes we get days of weakness, but thanks to guys like you, and your encouragement, we pull through another day.. another week.. another month..

I guess i am feeling a little down at the moment because.. lifting and training was something that was SERIOUSLY getting me through this break up..

I was feeling strong, looking bigger, and feeling better.. but last week I managed to get a shoulder injury.. rotator cuff..

And i have to lay off the training for a while.. really gutted about this, but I have no choice but to rest, recover..

But i'm not going to let this injury defeat me.. once my shoulder is feeling better, i will get straight back on it...

Hitting the gym again, improving my finances.. become a much better version of me..

Thank you for the encouragement man.. it's appreciated

You should be proud man. 4 months NC given your situation is quite a feat. It is quite motivating for me as well to read the struggles from guys like you on the board... It keeps on the straight and the narrow.

Ah damn man.. Sorry about the injury. Happened to me about 6 weeks ago. Just got back but am taking it slow too on the weights. Phew, tough when you lose the pain and resulting liberation only iron can bring. What helped me get through it is dancing. I continued doing that and now I get the same level of passion from it as working out.