"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Roober

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I just found this forum and reading your posts makes me feel better and less alone, knowing that others are in the same situation. Thank you all!

So......
DAY 15 of NC
DAY 20 since breakup


Longest NC during the relationship was 10 days 2 months ago, until she contacted me.

If you want the back story, I wrote it on another forum when she just left me..when I was freshly heart-broken :)

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=203613&view=unread#unread


First week was horrible! Don't want my worst enemy to feel that way!
But then after the forum thing, I slapped myself and said to myself what the fukc am I doing?!

Since then I've tried to stay busy, friends and gym and family. When I'm alone, I still think about her all the time, but less when I'm with other people.


Since the slap, I've been finding myself again and realizing what kind of AFC I became... I kind of needed this breakup to wake up.

But I'm not gonna lie, I still miss her like hell!
I still have a hard time accepting this...
I still want her back.

Next week is my birthday. I don't know if she will send me that "happy birthday" text, what do you think?
If she doesn't, I might think about accepting life as it comes.....

Some might say I use NC for the wrong purpose and it will hurt me more... But I don't know, guess I have to find that out the hard way.... Still love her..
Your life is just beginning. First gf and sex, so it is natural to feel immensely attached. She sounds like a mess. Keep up no contact and it will only get better.

The key to the first few weeks is distractions..
-weights - don't pvssy around. hit the weights like you mean it
-cardio - HIIT and do cardio, both weights and cardio have physical and emotional benefits to your life, google it
-start approaching women
-If you have a bad "feels" day, allow yourself to go through it... just let it rain
-read, read, read - I think many guys don't do enough of this... some starters... book of pook, the rational male, the 3% man, way of the superior man, so many others to list.... self-improvement books
-focus on your job!

Complete NC is the only way to get over it.... block her phone, and all social media! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT EVEN TEMPT YOURSELF!!!!! I am sure many others, including myself, can vouch for htis
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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hesh

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Your life is just beginning. First gf and sex, so it is natural to feel immensely attached. She sounds like a mess. Keep up no contact and it will only get better.

The key to the first few weeks is distractions..
-weights - don't pvssy around. hit the weights like you mean it
-cardio - HIIT and do cardio, both weights and cardio have physical and emotional benefits to your life, google it
-start approaching women
-If you have a bad "feels" day, allow yourself to go through it... just let it rain
-read, read, read - I think many guys don't do enough of this... some starters... book of pook, the rational male, the 3% man, way of the superior man, so many others to list.... self-improvement books
-focus on your job!

Complete NC is the only way to get over it.... block her phone, and all social media! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT EVEN TEMPT YOURSELF!!!!! I am sure many others, including myself, can vouch for htis
Thanks for your advice mate
 

soulforge

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Currently banging two HB6's.. Everytime I am with these chicks, it makes me feel like my ex was much more valuable.. to me my ex was more like a HB8

Not sure if I should continue banging these chicks.. as i end up feeling chitty afterwards.

Might be best to drop all woman right now, up untill I meet one that I feel is worthy of banging??

Is it better to sometimes go without sex, and take a break!
 

Firestar786

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Its been 3.5 months since I dropped my ex.
I don't think.about her but come to the conclusion she's a crazy psycho biatch.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and she has been replaced by a better one.
I made one last phone call to her, telling her to leave me alone and after that there has been no contact.

She has presumable tried to contact me but who gives a fvck. You should only give someone one chance and avoid those who fvxk about

Head up guys, cos there is always a better one out there.
 

soulforge

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Its been 3.5 months since I dropped my ex.
I don't think.about her but come to the conclusion she's a crazy psycho biatch.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and she has been replaced by a better one.
I made one last phone call to her, telling her to leave me alone and after that there has been no contact.

She has presumable tried to contact me but who gives a fvck. You should only give someone one chance and avoid those who fvxk about

Head up guys, cos there is always a better one out there.
I like this man... i gave my ex at least two maybe three chances..

The key is to get rid of her sooner than later, if she is displaying bad behaviour or red flags..


I still I have not found a better one yet, so probably why still thinking about her...

But when I do find a better quality woman.. I will probably not give a rats ass about mt ex
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Reboot2017

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Day 20 of NC. Things have been looking up. Been travelling for work and being in a new environment helps with the perspective. She came to my town day before yesterday to party it up with some friends that we know. Normally, I would be worried about the turn of events but this time around, it was a massive relief not having care about what she was doing. None of my business anyway. It felt quite peaceful.

Cannot say I am completely over her. Not by a long shot but I feel the recovery process going on quite well. I do not think about her so often and it helps a lot. I have started concentrating on figuring out things with my life and how to improve. I know I have a long way to go and there is still a lot of work to do on myself but at least for the first time in weeks, I feel I am in control of my emotions.
 

soulforge

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18 month relationship..

Just over 3 months since I walked away.. still thinking about her pretty much every day, but doesn't hurt as much as before..

Even had thoughts about being back with her.. which is fuking STUPID as this woman have proven to be a worthless partner for me...

Need to keep NC continue blocking her, till i am free from her..

Going back to her is not an option.. there is nothing left!
 

soulforge

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Just had a date with the hottest chick ever.. i mean my 3x does not even compare!

Not sure if there will be a second date.. we kissed etc.. this girl was seriously hot..

Made me realise there are better chicks than my ex outhere.
 

Roober

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Just had a date with the hottest chick ever.. i mean my 3x does not even compare!

Not sure if there will be a second date.. we kissed etc.. this girl was seriously hot..

Made me realise there are better chicks than my ex outhere.

And to think... it's only been 3 months... good job!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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5chm1dd1

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Well, my HB7-8 Chinese chick ghosted me.

Whatever, had some nice s3x and a good time, off to the next b1tch (which is a 20 yo HB7)

Life's good, the weather is finally improving and I haven't wasted any serious thought on my ex in weeks.
 

soulforge

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Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??
 

5chm1dd1

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Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??
Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.
 

soulforge

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Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.
Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.

I hear you man, other than her looks and maybe her being quite successful.. she wasn't a great character man..

She did not act or behave like a good girlfriend.. many red flags, and drama.. disrespect..

In between all that chit off course there was some very good fun times too.. and I suppose its the good times that I miss..

But overall dumping her was the only option and the right option.. there was no safe future with this chick
 

Roober

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Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??
Work on yourself! Do you see the problem with the above statement? You are depending on your happiness from other people. Happiness HAS TO come from YOU! It's your job to find it.

I hear you man, other than her looks and maybe her being quite successful.. she wasn't a great character man..

She did not act or behave like a good girlfriend.. many red flags, and drama.. disrespect..

In between all that chit off course there was some very good fun times too.. and I suppose its the good times that I miss..

But overall dumping her was the only option and the right option.. there was no safe future with this chick
Still working on your inner game? What have you done since May 8th when I suggested this last time, 11 days ago? I believe you are coming up on the 4 month post-breakup mark now...?

Get out there, enjoy life, have a good time... There are 3 billion women waiting for you!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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soulforge

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Work on yourself! Do you see the problem with the above statement? You are depending on your happiness from other people. Happiness HAS TO come from YOU! It's your job to find it.



Still working on your inner game? What have you done since May 8th when I suggested this last time, 11 days ago? I believe you are coming up on the 4 month post-breakup mark now...?

Get out there, enjoy life, have a good time... There are 3 billion women waiting for you!

Hey man since we last spoke.. i have been working 5 days a week... but have been hitting the gym seriously hard.

Made some gains, looking bigger and stronger.. getting alot of respect from people.

The only major problem in my life i have is debt and financial problems.. if and when i can improve these, then I feel I will be in a better place..

I have had a couple of dates.. one that I really fancied, but it fizzled out...

Just need to keep hitting the gym, looking and feeling better.. and keep dating woman, till a good one comes along.
 

Carpathian

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But when I do find a better quality woman.. I will probably not give a rats ass about mt ex
Respectfully, I think you are wrong there brother.....
True, you will find love, happiness and tenderness again with a woman you love. But we do not just "forget' in the way you imply. The ex casts a very long shadow, indeed an infinitely long one. We come to terms with it and live with it and we live and love again. But we do not forget and if you loved that ex we DO care about them. To care is to be human.
 

Reboot2017

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The only major problem in my life i have is debt and financial problems.. if and when i can improve these, then I feel I will be in a better place..
I echo your sentiment. Perhaps you are using women to escape from this man. I believe you get this sorted out, you will automatically get over your ex. I share you sentiment, for me, I feel isolated in my adopted country as I am unable to speak the local language. Therefore, I obsess about my ex who "choose" me despite this flaw. Having recognize that, I have been working on it and for the first time in a long time, I feel in control of things and have been thinking less and less about her.
 

Reboot2017

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Day 27 of NC. Time flies... I feel I am close to half way there just like the number of days. There are times when I feel bad about things in general and I really feel the need to reach out to her. She has been sending me emails lately. The more recent one was on my birthday and yesterday. Same nonsense as before ie I miss you and want you to be my beta orbiter... I am glad to say, I ignored all of it and deleted them. The point about fixing my life sticks with me. Its lonely and its painful especially when I see the guys around me at a level where I want to be. I spent the loneliest birthday ever which really rammed home this point... However, I remind myself that this is temporary. Might take years but at least the pursuit of it is worthwhile.

Hang in there brothers... Trust in the system.

Side note, I number closed a really cute HB7. No big deal in the whole scheme of things I know but given my limited grasp of the language, I am patting myself on the back nevertheless. :) The path might be long but plenty of signs showing me I am on the right road.
 

soulforge

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I think what bothers me the most is that, I stayed with this woman for 18 months, even tho she was clearly showing red flags from pretty much day one..

I even let her move in with me, which was a ridicules move.

I should only be giving my time and my attention and commitment to, women who are PROVING themselves to me..

I really should have checked out of this relationship so much sooner...

I initially dumped this woman 3 months into the relationship, for disrespect.. If I had stuck to my decision. I would not even be thinking about her right now!

I guess this was a very important lesson I needed to learn

in the future I know never to tolerate bad behaviour and only commit to woman who are PROVING themselves
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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