The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MrAddiction]

Are health issues really preventing you from doing things? I am not trying to dig into your personal business. But, if you really think about it, is it stopping you from pursuing hobbies? Every hobby? Going to a coffee shop? Walking around the mall? walk in the park? everything?

Many people (and I mean most) use health conditions as a crutch to delay their progress. Put a bandaid on the biznitch and keep progressing!

I get your point. Believe me I have been through a lot and this time the meds nearly poisoned my whole body. Somedays it was getting up and feeling so drained afterwards that the only option was to get to the couch. If i write Health issues it is a little bit complex...but no need to bother anybody.
But it is getting better. Have been able to go to the City with a friend yesterday - First Time since 2 month and it was great.
The less the sideeffects are effecting me, the more joyfull I get again.

 

[resilient]

Hey MrAddiction, another thing that could help your health issues if you can't just leave the house or whatever is meditation. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last month when I was plate spinning, trying to keep on top of my game with school, work, etc. and I was beginning to get worn out.

I got oneitis for someone I was trying to make main plate that rejected me and stopped me in my tracks. I could have got fixated on the rejection, yet refused to let that get me down so I double downed on hobbies, having fun, and meeting and hanging with new people. The other secret to my success which I know you can do from home is meditation.

There are loads of guided meditation apps that can help distract your brain and help you rewire it so to speak to believe in positive intentions. I know it may sound woo woo, yet I feel so much more happier than I did a month ago and I hardly think about the oneitis anymore.

Benefits of meditation:

• Reduces Stress
• Increases self-awareness
• Increases self-acceptance
• Regulates Emotions
• Develops Contentment
• Improves Physical Health

Source: http://www.awaken.com/2017/01/benefits-of-meditation-2/

My top fav meditations apps:

1. Meditation Studio (free)
2. Headspace (requires subscription, yet first 10 are free)
3. Calm (again requires a subscription, arg...)
4. Breath2Relax (free)

 

[ku17]

I'm a recent convert to the red pill so I spent a lot of time as an orbiter for a lot of women. I've taken the three girls for whom I was an orbiter and put them all on NC.

Girl #1 was originally a plate of mine, before I even realized what a plate was. However, I would develop oneitis and eventually become her orbiter when I let her flip the script. Currently at 3 months NC.

Girl #2 was another plate for a long time but I let her flip the script got a huge case of oneitis and just as fast as that she did a branch swing and left me wondering what had just happened. Displayed a lot of AFC and beta behavior once I got oneitis. I'm sitting at 4 months NC with her.

Girl #3 is my greatest embarrassment. I was her orbiter for almost 10 years. I'm not proud of the long string of beta behavior and the disrespect that I allowed. She is the most dangerous and is very good at manipulating me. I've been NC for 2 months but she's already reached out twice. She got married recently but is power hungry and will continue to reach out until she can assert her power over me again or make me out as the villain in this situation. This girl will continually **** test me in the coming months.

I'm still learning from this site and it's helped me come a long way in improving my physical and mental health, as well as teaching me how to dissolve toxic relationships.

 

[Roober]

3 months...

Okay, I did something stupid today. Looked up exes FB, just curious since she never updates it. Saw that she updated her profile pic and is "in a relationship with..." I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't a branch-swinging *****... but I was wrong... ugly mofo with two kids...

"I want to be single" my azz... Gah, got me bothered a little bit, but also a bit relieved... Sadly, I was still holding onto hope that she would call or text, now I think I can get that thought out of my mind completely. Now I know what she was really up to those last couple months when things were heading downhill.. sigh...

 

[MrAddiction]

3 months...

Okay, I did something stupid today. Looked up exes FB, just curious since she never updates it. Saw that she updated her profile pic and is "in a relationship with..." I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't a branch-swinging *****... but I was wrong... ugly mofo with two kids...

"I want to be single" my azz... Gah, got me bothered a little bit, but also a bit relieved... Sadly, I was still holding onto hope that she would call or text, now I think I can get that thought out of my mind completely. Now I know what she was really up to those last couple months when things were heading downhill.. sigh...

Welcome to the club. I can feel you man. Keep staying no contact and strong. I know how hard that stuff is and how much ist suxs. Today I try to stand with you, tommorow I might suffer again. I hate this back and forth.
But keep in mind together wie stay strong. As the Marines say: no one is left behind - with their exes.

 

[Roober]

Welcome to the club. I can feel you man. Keep staying no contact and strong. I know how hard that stuff is and how much ist suxs. Today I try to stand with you, tommorow I might suffer again. I hate this back and forth.
But keep in mind together wie stay strong. As the Marines say: no one is left behind - with their exes.

Ya. I feel like I am at a much better place now, so I am more irked that everyone that said she was probably branch swinging was right as she got really distant the last couple weeks. Just got to stay strong man and keep yourself busy with things. Just remember that they are staying the same as we get better and improve ourselves

 

[MrAddiction]

Just remember that they are staying the same

Yes they stay the same. But to be true. That same is at least not that what we hang on to, what we hang on to is the good times that have been there a long Time ago and that mostly are in or only in our mind. Practically we are hanging on to an Illusion... that is why it is so hard to let go.
To be true the Last month with my ex have caused me so much Stress and were not worse anything. And After thinking about it long - before there were times that things did not work out. I just let it roll hoping for the good times to return. Sounds familliar to involvment with a ClusterB - ha, for some reason.
The Last weeks I had a hard Look to what I was missing, and to my surprise it were times long ago, that I did not miss before...and it were things that she actually never was able to give me tu the fullest an I would liked/needed. So I noticed my mind playing tricks again. I more and more consider us als heroin addicts, longing for the high even it never has been as good as we imaginge it to be.
If a girl ever will Tell me again: "I can not give you the Harmonic relationship you want!" - I will run like hell and not consider it as another ****test - as I did the other day.

 

[5chm1dd1]

3 months...

Okay, I did something stupid today. Looked up exes FB, just curious since she never updates it. Saw that she updated her profile pic and is "in a relationship with..." I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't a branch-swinging *****... but I was wrong... ugly mofo with two kids...

"I want to be single" my azz... Gah, got me bothered a little bit, but also a bit relieved... Sadly, I was still holding onto hope that she would call or text, now I think I can get that thought out of my mind completely. Now I know what she was really up to those last couple months when things were heading downhill.. sigh...

Dann it man, I feel you!

But look at the brightside: now you're completely freeing yourself from remaining and, mostly, restraining hope. Hurts like a b1tch, but only temporary.

For me I've got to say, 5months and a few days of NC, still sometimes struggling (banging other chicks doesn't help, had 2 since the Breakup, no change or whatsoever in my mind), but yeah, it'll be fine in the long run I guess.

 

[Roober]

Dann it man, I feel you!

But look at the brightside: now you're completely freeing yourself from remaining and, mostly, restraining hope. Hurts like a b1tch, but only temporary.

For me I've got to say, 5months and a few days of NC, still sometimes struggling (banging other chicks doesn't help, had 2 since the Breakup, no change or whatsoever in my mind), but yeah, it'll be fine in the long run I guess.

Ya, spinning plates is good distraction, but doesn't help deal with it. I certainly noticed that. Biggest thing for me is hitting the gym and reading. I think I read about 10 books in the last 3 months.

Going out with women helps with getting perspective. We put our exes on pedestals until we realize (from dating other women), that they are really nothing special at all. There are PLENTY of women that are interested in me. Once I get my mind right, I imagine I can pull almost all of them.

My plate right now would move mountain to spend time with me, the sex is outrageously good, and she brings me food and small gifts... that gives me perspective cause my ex did none of that...

My advice?
1. Read good male-centered books (rollo, anything by David Deida, etc.)
2. keep dating and/or talking with women for perspective
3. and hit the gym HARD! no more-willy nilly workouts! Try do negative sets for 5-seconds each rep, you wont be able to focus on anything else!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Day 1. Valentines day of all days lol.
Relationship was already over in january but we were still fvcking, but excellent sex.
Yesterday the millionth war over text, narcissistic rage, projection and she was out to try to destroy me.
I sent her this text after an hour of manipulations:
"I'm gonna grab your hair and stick my dyck dry and deep in your ass next time I see you, I'm sick of your drama bs."
Well it backfired majorly.
Got 20 inflamed messages of narcissistic rage how I was the cause of all the drama and how dare I speak to her like that and then she went on about how I was on tinder meeting all these girls and she caught me texting another girl sending photos and found my Tinder profile, and saw me online all the time, so I told her well if I'm dating all these girls on Tinder why don't you go on another XTC bender at parties and have another sleepover with your "platonic" male friends. Well it ended with her blocking me from whatsapp. What a relief.
Was thinking about sending her a text over regular text service to put it in her face more that she has been replaced ever since we broke up in January but decided to nevermind.
I've already fvcked a few other girls though since right after we broke up, but now only 1 has remainded she is considered a 5/10 and not very intelligent and my ex an 8/10 and pretty intelligent.
Blocked her facebook, exported whatsapp text history and photos and burried them somewhere on my external hard drive, far away from my phone photos.

Talk about toxic relationship people.

 

[ThisNThat]

My g/f just dumped me, although it was just a month of dating, we clicked pretty well on the first date as most of my first dates don't click with me nor any chemistry is felt and we go diff. directions.

It started off with her wanting "a break" and said she'd be in touch with me when she's ready. About 3 to 4 weeks later, she called me to tell me she's just not "feeling it" anymore and was hoping if it'd be okay to be just friends....she kind of went on to say most guys tend to have a problem with friendships with women and she hoped I'd be different in this case.

I agreed to it, but...after I hung up...I decided to still leave the ball in her court...to be the one to reach out me again...as I am thinking she did the "LJBF" line to free herself from the guilt AND tie up a loose end not keep me hanging during "the break."

 

[Roober]

My g/f just dumped me, although it was just a month of dating, we clicked pretty well on the first date as most of my first dates don't click with me nor any chemistry is felt and we go diff. directions.

It started off with her wanting "a break" and said she'd be in touch with me when she's ready. About 3 to 4 weeks later, she called me to tell me she's just not "feeling it" anymore and was hoping if it'd be okay to be just friends....she kind of went on to say most guys tend to have a problem with friendships with women and she hoped I'd be different in this case.

I agreed to it, but...after I hung up...I decided to still leave the ball in her court...to be the one to reach out me again...as I am thinking she did the "LJBF" line to free herself from the guilt AND tie up a loose end not keep me hanging during "the break."

Don't give her the LJBF! All women want more orbiters... If she reaches out again, just tell her "I don't want to just be friends. If you change your mind, you have my number. Good luck to you!" or something along those lines.

I repeat, DO NOT GIVE HER THE LJBF! She cut you off, it is her loss!

Wanting a "break" usually means some new guy has rolled around... just saying...

time to start read, read, read... and hit the gym!

 

[dude99]

My g/f just dumped me, although it was just a month of dating, we clicked pretty well on the first date as most of my first dates don't click with me nor any chemistry is felt and we go diff. directions.

It started off with her wanting "a break" and said she'd be in touch with me when she's ready. About 3 to 4 weeks later, she called me to tell me she's just not "feeling it" anymore and was hoping if it'd be okay to be just friends....she kind of went on to say most guys tend to have a problem with friendships with women and she hoped I'd be different in this case.

I agreed to it, but...after I hung up...I decided to still leave the ball in her court...to be the one to reach out me again...as I am thinking she did the "LJBF" line to free herself from the guilt AND tie up a loose end not keep me hanging during "the break."

It was only a month so you can chalk it up as a learning experience. Next and move on

 

[dude99]

Don't give her the LJBF! All women want more orbiters... If she reaches out again, just tell her "I don't want to just be friends. If you change your mind, you have my number. Good luck to you!" or something along those lines.

I repeat, DO NOT GIVE HER THE LJBF! She cut you off, it is her loss!

Wanting a "break" usually means some new guy has rolled around... just saying...

time to start read, read, read... and hit the gym!

Wanting a break is guarantee some new guy came along. Chicks do not end a relationship until they have already started a new one. She

 

[MrAddiction]

Wanting a break

If any Girl ever again will Tell you that line. Directly tell her, you not do breaks and that you end it Right here and now! Then to ghost.
Not LJBF.
No breaks
No Bull****.
Never.
Ever.
No matter how cute or whatsoever a Girl is.
A girl cheats on you - the relationship is over at that point. You must be have these and or other rules before getting involved with any chick. This will help you stick to these rules if you happen to find yourself in a fcuked up situation and your feelings will cloud your mind. You then can make your desicion without overthinking it way top long- just like a soldier known what to do because he was drilled to before.
You Must have rules and you must stick to them - sometimes this will save your sanity or even your life.

Do not get down this road ever again.

 

[dude99]

If any Girl ever again will Tell you that line. Directly tell her, you not do breaks and that you end it Right here and now! Then to ghost.
Not LJBF.
No breaks
No Bull****.
Never.
Ever.
No matter how cute or whatsoever a Girl is.
A girl cheats on you - the relationship is over at that point. You must be have these and or other rules before getting involved with any chick. This will help you stick to these rules if you happen to find yourself in a fcuked up situation and your feelings will cloud your mind. You then can make your desicion without overthinking it way top long- just like a soldier known what to do because he was drilled to before.
You Must have rules and you must stick to them - sometimes this will save your sanity or even your life.

Do not get down this road ever again.

Agreed. What guys need to realize is "a break" is nothing more than the girl justifying cheating. She is making excuses so she can not have any guilt for her bad behaviour

They can pour a ton of sugar on it but a Sh!t sandwich is still a sh!t sandwich.

Women never want to have to take responsibility in a relationship they all want to be teflon sally and all blame slide right off of them. They feel if they justify cheating with "we are just friends now, or we were on a break," and they can get away with it.

Next. Delete and block all contact. Never have anything to do with them ever again

 

[MrAddiction]

Agreed. What guys need to realize is "a break" is nothing more than the girl justifying cheating. She is making excuses so she can not have any guilt for her bad behaviour

What new guys coming here is to understand and learn to have selfrespect. You must have that before interacting with girls. Otherwise Girls will run you over. You can nor expect any sincerity or loyalty from them like we man have it. They just Do not have it. It is one of the biggest mistakes you can make to expact such a thing from them. While you might think a Break means she is sorting out her feelings and thoughts, she already is riding the cokcaroussel, and looking for someone better, while she has you in line, waiting for her. Even if she decides to come back to you after that break, it means she did not find any better than you.
Back to selfrespect: who are you to wait around for her to decide if there is something better or if she will want to be with you. Who are you to wait around and let her be the decision maker? You are a man and nor some rat in a cage waiting for someone to decide whether you get something to eat or an electro shock.
Women These days think because they have all the options they would be entitled to make all the decisions. Sure, you can mit decide, if she wants to sleep or be with you - but you can decide with what and how many **** you will put up. Selfrespect! selfrespect! Selfrespect!
You are a man. You are not running after any Women, nor strollong along like a dog, nor waiting for her to make her decission. There is a yes or a no. With woman there is no maybe. Always take a maybe or something in between yes and no as a no. Makes life easier.
You want to he with me? Yes? No? Oh, you don't know? Ok. Cool. Goodbye. Have a nice life.
Sure in realitiy in a LTR you will nor always be able to Stick to this at any minor Problem. But if you do bot know the above before entering the game with girls you will get strolled along, run over and your Heart will be ripped of. See it as a weapon to your arsenal for Interaktion with women. You Do not have to use it. But its good to know in is there. It gives you safety and therefore good to know you can use or whenever necessary.
Btw. This is field approved.

 

[dude99]

What new guys coming here is to understand and learn to have selfrespect. You must have that before interacting with girls. Otherwise Girls will run you over. You can nor expect any sincerity or loyalty from them like we man have it. They just Do not have it. It is one of the biggest mistakes you can make to expact such a thing from them. While you might think a Break means she is sorting out her feelings and thoughts, she already is riding the cokcaroussel, and looking for someone better, while she has you in line, waiting for her. Even if she decides to come back to you after that break, it means she did not find any better than you.
Back to selfrespect: who are you to wait around for her to decide if there is something better or if she will want to be with you. Who are you to wait around and let her be the decision maker? You are a man and nor some rat in a cage waiting for someone to decide whether you get something to eat or an electro shock.
Women These days think because they have all the options they would be entitled to make all the decisions. Sure, you can mit decide, if she wants to sleep or be with you - but you can decide with what and how many **** you will put up. Selfrespect! selfrespect! Selfrespect!
You are a man. You are not running after any Women, nor strollong along like a dog, nor waiting for her to make her decission. There is a yes or a no. With woman there is no maybe. Always take a maybe or something in between yes and no as a no. Makes life easier.
You want to he with me? Yes? No? Oh, you don't know? Ok. Cool. Goodbye. Have a nice life.
Sure in realitiy in a LTR you will nor always be able to Stick to this at any minor Problem. But if you do bot know the above before entering the game with girls you will get strolled along, run over and your Heart will be ripped of. See it as a weapon to your arsenal for Interaktion with women. You Do not have to use it. But its good to know in is there. It gives you safety and therefore good to know you can use or whenever necessary.
Btw. This is field approved.

Agreed.

When guys realize they are the prize, women will naturally submit to them. If the women doesn't then next.

Treat all women the same. You are the prize. If they aren't honoured/happy to be with you and don't follow your lead, NEXT.

 

[BadBoy17]

Hello guys, I'm posting because today 02/17/2017 I finally decided to accept the challenge. This is my story http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/your-thoughts-on-my-lying-long-term-girlfriend.238784/ if you have time please check it out.

I haven't contacted her since february 5 the day I received her last sms, today I decided to delete her from facebook and instagram, also deleted her number and her relatives from my phone. I wrote her number down and put it away inside a box with the few gifts I received from her (most were cheap ****).

I'm thinking about some stuff that I need to give back to her, also I need to pick up some **** of my own she left at her mom's, I don't want to see her mom because she probably thinks I'm the bad guy (see my story for details) but I want to do this as fast as possible and move on. Any ideas, I could ask a friend to go instead but it will look weak from my perspective.

 

[xstang77]

Hello guys, I'm posting because today 02/17/2017 I finally decided to accept the challenge. This is my story http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/your-thoughts-on-my-lying-long-term-girlfriend.238784/ if you have time please check it out.

I haven't contacted her since february 5 the day I received her last sms, today I decided to delete her from facebook and instagram, also deleted her number and her relatives from my phone. I wrote her number down and put it away inside a box with the few gifts I received from her (most were cheap ****).

I'm thinking about some stuff that I need to give back to her, also I need to pick up some **** of my own she left at her mom's, I don't want to see her mom because she probably thinks I'm the bad guy (see my story for details) but I want to do this as fast as possible and move on. Any ideas, I could ask a friend to go instead but it will look weak from my perspective.

Is your stuff valuable? You could bring a friend would help to make it less akward and help refrain her folks from talking ****.