The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Tony197]

DAY 60!

I'll just leave that sh!t at that.

 

[Carpathian]

I found another woman and we like each other very much, great connection, great times and great sex. She's a 9/10 and ideal for me. I have been doing great! I put the ex behind me and forging ahead into my life. However, as soon as this started with my new woman, almost by instinct, my ex reached out - my ex from my dysfunctional relationship of 18 months, who dumped me for three times for no fukking reason at all is texting me wanting me to go round and bang her. I would not want to risk my new relationship with my new woman. However, I know I will get flamed for this, but part of me - a monkey on my shoulder if you like - tells me to go round and bang the ex. I know I should not be thinking like this, it would risk everything with my new woman if she found out, and I would never get back with the ex permanently, but forbidden fruit is very tempting.....

I think I should block her to remove future temptation. What do you guys say? Please, talk some sense into me brothers. Others must have felt like this too?

 

[Adz--]

Day 17
Doing better. I haven't been thinking about the ex-fwb much lately. Some thoughts creep in now and then. I did have something really weird happen last weekend. I had my phone on Do Not Disturb when I went to bed as usual, yet when I checked it in the morning I got an anonymous text message from "bit.ly" at 12:52 AM. It might have been just spam, because I googled and some Yahoo answers thread said some people have gotten text from bit.ly before and urged not to respond for identity theft reasons.

In any case, here's what the cryptic text message said:

"If you lost interest in sex, one day you may find yourself alone and unhappy"​

It was about the two week mark that she said that "her" or "I" would re-initiate contact with a "hey" or "hi" to be "platonic friends". Lol.. I obviously didn't so maybe that was her text or just simply spam. Idk.

I'll be honest though, DJs.... my goals have been slipping a little lately. I'm trying to accomplish what I set out to do from my last post, just have been lacking in motivation. It may have to do with the online class I'm taking right now is freaking boring as f, but necessary for my degree reqs. I'm also letting my body recover after hiking a mountain that was nearly 12,000 ft high with a 4,000 ft elevation gain over nearly 18 miles out and back.

Good to hear that you're doing okay man, keep on going with it man you can do this.
Also ignore that bit.ly thing, it's nothing. If she really wanted to get in contact with you she would have done so.

My goals are slipping too, but immerse your self in things that you like doing so that you can take your mind off her and find your self again.

I found another woman and we like each other very much, great connection, great times and great sex. She's a 9/10 and ideal for me. I have been doing great! I put the ex behind me and forging ahead into my life. However, as soon as this started with my new woman, almost by instinct, my ex reached out - my ex from my dysfunctional relationship of 18 months, who dumped me for three times for no fukking reason at all is texting me wanting me to go round and bang her. I would not want to risk my new relationship with my new woman. However, I know I will get flamed for this, but part of me - a monkey on my shoulder if you like - tells me to go round and bang the ex. I know I should not be thinking like this, it would risk everything with my new woman if she found out, and I would never get back with the ex permanently, but forbidden fruit is very tempting.....

I think I should block her to remove future temptation. What do you guys say? Please, talk some sense into me brothers. Others must have felt like this too?

It's funny how things like that happen isn't it?
You have two options now.
A) Carry on with the new woman who you say is a 9/10 and bang her and see where it goes.

B) Go back to your dysfunctional ex who broke up with you three times and gave you a lot of heart ache, made you feel like crap, worthless etc to bang her. Yes im not going to lie it might feel good for a while to talk and bang her, but how long before you slip back into her hands again and then youre back in the same cycle?

Choice is yours my friend. It's never an easy choice at times when your mind isn't there.

P. S. I'm a hypocrite when it comes to advice, I don't follow my own somtimes.


Adz--

Lord\universe\whatever The f*ck out there, give me strength to get through my own sh*t

 

[Carpathian]

Good to hear that you're doing okay man, keep on going with it man you can do this.
Also ignore that bit.ly thing, it's nothing. If she really wanted to get in contact with you she would have done so.

My goals are slipping too, but immerse your self in things that you like doing so that you can take your mind off her and find your self again.




It's funny how things like that happen isn't it?
You have two options now.
A) Carry on with the new woman who you say is a 9/10 and bang her and see where it goes.

B) Go back to your dysfunctional ex who broke up with you three times and gave you a lot of heart ache, made you feel like crap, worthless etc to bang her. Yes im not going to lie it might feel good for a while to talk and bang her, but how long before you slip back into her hands again and then youre back in the same cycle?

Choice is yours my friend. It's never an easy choice at times when your mind isn't there.

P. S. I'm a hypocrite when it comes to advice, I don't follow my own somtimes.


Adz--

Lord\universe\whatever The f*ck out there, give me strength to get through my own sh*t

Hey man, Thanks for your thoughts. I am leaving off her (the ex) and not getting involved with her again. She is poison and will drag me down again as you say. How they weave their spells.....

 

[resilient]

Hey man, Thanks for your thoughts. I am leaving off her (the ex) and not getting involved with her again. She is poison and will drag me down again as you say. How they weave their spells.....

Excellent. It sounded like she just wanted to lure you in just to pump and dump you again to boost her ego. You're doing the right thing by staying away. Good luck with the 9/10.

 

[Adz--]

Day 30

NC still going strong, I've still got thoughts off her coming into my head.
Today wasn't a good morning at all, it felt like all the thoughts came at once like a run away train.
Part of me wants this dumb b1tch back for some reason, I have no idea why though. I've been over this before in my head and have come to the conclusion that she isn't worth it all.
I keep my self busy as much as I can all the time, play music on the way to places to take my mind of things etc etc. Jumped into my hobbies, gym, study, go out with friends. I don't understand it why is she still in my head!?

Adz--

 

[Carpathian]

Day 30

NC still going strong, I've still got thoughts off her coming into my head.
Today wasn't a good morning at all, it felt like all the thoughts came at once like a run away train.
Part of me wants this dumb b1tch back for some reason, I have no idea why though. I've been over this before in my head and have come to the conclusion that she isn't worth it all.
I keep my self busy as much as I can all the time, play music on the way to places to take my mind of things etc etc. Jumped into my hobbies, gym, study, go out with friends. I don't understand it why is she still in my head!?

Adz--

It passes in time man. Like my post yesterday, the test comes when she starts reaching out again.... You just know you'd be into another round of sh!t from her but it can be difficult to move past her.

 

[Tony197]

Day 30

NC still going strong, I've still got thoughts off her coming into my head.
Today wasn't a good morning at all, it felt like all the thoughts came at once like a run away train.
Part of me wants this dumb b1tch back for some reason, I have no idea why though. I've been over this before in my head and have come to the conclusion that she isn't worth it all.
I keep my self busy as much as I can all the time, play music on the way to places to take my mind of things etc etc. Jumped into my hobbies, gym, study, go out with friends. I don't understand it why is she still in my head!?

Adz--

You can't intellectualize an addiction, you can only struggle through it. She's like drugs, alcohol or cigarettes - you know she's bad for you, but you still want that dopamine kick you get from her.

Can you listen to music at work? Find a new song every day that you find validating and listen to it on repeat. For me, some days it was "Now We Are Free (Gladiator)", others "Dirt Off Your Shoulder."

 

[Adz--]

It passes in time man. Like my post yesterday, the test comes when she starts reaching out again.... You just know you'd be into another round of sh!t from her but it can be difficult to move past her.

I understand completely where you're coming from and agree with it. It's the fact I know she isn't going reach out again cos shes completly messed in the head.
I know I should leave her to it with whoever she is with now etc.
It's the fact that I know she's going for a major operation in the next few months where I was meant to be there for her, but she couldn't be there for me when I had my operation, this is my downfall it's the fact that I'm "too nice or care too much" for her well being more then she does for her own self.
It's something that in finding difficult of letting go of that.

You can't intellectualize an addiction, you can only struggle through it. She's like drugs, alcohol or cigarettes - you know she's bad for you, but you still want that dopamine kick you get from her.

Can you listen to music at work? Find a new song every day that you find validating and listen to it on repeat. For me, some days it was "Now We Are Free (Gladiator)", others "Dirt Off Your Shoulder."

Exactly that, Im addicted to f*cked up stuck up trouble woman.
Yeah I can, even at University, I'm listening to all sorts and have gotten sick of my new playlist after a week lol, have you got any more reccomendations song wise?

Adz--

 

[SuccessIsDestiny]

DAY 60

Thoughts still come in but it's as if something happend overnight. She's disappeared and this is about me. I've compared this journey to going to the gym after a long hiatus. You're not going to go in and start banging heavy weights it has to be a gradual progression. Put in the work and DJ you'll start seeing results.

I've got a few plates on deck and I'm leaving for a trip to Asia for three weeks looking forward to it.

Day 1

Serious oneitis. I've got an uphill climb.

Day 30

Gym and work Gym and work. DJ and plates.

@Adz-- Keep up the work the next 30 is tough but all the more worth it. Day 60 will come around and you'll never look back Stay Strong!

@Carpathian Steer clear of this one. My ex before this did the same thing I banged her out and it just prolonged and kept me away from other females.

 

[Carpathian]

@SuccessIsDestiny Thanks for your advice man. Ex continues to text, missing me. want's me to go round and bang her etc. Six months passed and she misses me clearly and what we had. Crazy woman. I'm enjoying life with my 9/10 woman.

 

[tenocv]

Hi posting here because it's been a month since being dumped and I have done a piss poor job of not being in contact. It is so easy to send texts and so here I am dedicated to this to start day 1 yet all over again. Ex is already aware that there is a NC rule in place. Something came up about a mutual friend of ours and essentially required breaking NC but still it's not an excuse to go on and on... like things are back to normal. So I am dedicated to this from here on.

And so here it begins... and still this feeling of one-itis but gotta keep busy. It's so easy to text her and there's stuff coming through every now and then.
And I will post when I get the urge to text.

 

[Carpathian]

Hi posting here because it's been a month since being dumped and I have done a piss poor job of not being in contact. It is so easy to send texts and so here I am dedicated to this to start day 1 yet all over again. Ex is already aware that there is a NC rule in place. Something came up about a mutual friend of ours and essentially required breaking NC but still it's not an excuse to go on and on... like things are back to normal. So I am dedicated to this from here on.

And so here it begins... and still this feeling of one-itis but gotta keep busy. It's so easy to text her and there's stuff coming through every now and then.
And I will post when I get the urge to text.

Good luck.
In short, you need to man up, grow a pair and ignore her. Is it hard? You bet. Is there an alternative? No. You either do this to get over it or you torture yourself with death-by-a-thousand-cuts and prolong the agony - for months and years in some guys' cases - by maintaining contact. There is no other way, that's why the net is full of no contact threads. Read them and watch Corey Wayne stuff to strengthen yourself.

In my case it is the one year anniversary - today - of a particularly wonderful day I shared with my ex, a wonderful romantic weekend away. NO WAY would I text her to remind her of that, the b1atch. SHE is the one who dumped ME!

 

[finality]

Day1

 

[Firestar786]

I'm in 3 months now and I have received around 20 calls from her today

No f0cks given.

 

[Carpathian]

I'm in 3 months now and I have received around 20 calls from her today

No f0cks given.

Three or four months of complete No Contact has a certain effect on people dude..... well done for sticking it out. My EX has been all over me as well, texting me, writing letters, etc. Ignored them all, despite her saying she won't bother me anymore and she doesn't want to annoy me. They still keep coming. They start to realize what a good thing they threw away after NC after a few months.

I'm keeping my 9/10 woman

 

[finality]

Day 1

10-15 recycles with a borderline in the past 2 years

 

[Adz--]

Day 37

Thoughts of her are still coming and going, sometimes i hate her and don't think of her and get on with my things for almost a week then something triggers her to be in my mind again.
Lately I've been getting an urge to unblock her off my Fb and whatsapp but I've been distracting myself with other things so that i don't think of it.

adz--

 

[Juan Manuel]

About 10 months ago I started talking online with the sister of my best friend girl (I am studying abroad) and we got along very well. For the first months, things were going great and eventually she told me that she loved me. But around May I start failing academically and that brought me into a depression. As a result, we drifted apart and she started to lose interest. On August, she told me she didn't feel the same way as before and that she wanted us to just be friends. I begged her to change her mind but she told me that her dream was for us to meet physically back in our home country and date, so I agreed. As we were on this friend phase, I brought up my insecurities about the friendship situation but she reassured me that I was winning her heart back. During this period, I started going to the gym and to a psychologist for therapy. I told her I was doing these to get better. However, last week, I told her I wanted to talk to her about the friendship situation and that it troubled my mind. Things backfire because as soon as I mentioned this, she told me she want us now to remain friends (without any romance this time) and to give me a chance to date her if maybe, maybe we meet back in our home country (in 3 months). She told me that she was feeling confused, that distance was a barrier, that she acknowledge that she was giving me mixed signs, that her feelings for me came and went, and that though she like me really much, she wanted us to be friends otherwise say goodbye.

So after this last conversation, I stop texting/talking to her after I stupidly told her I was fine with being friends and I needed time (that was 5 days ago). I haven't delete (not even restrict) her contact from Facebook or Whatsapp because I think that would give her the upper hand. In my mind, I am thinking that by doing that it will show her that I don't care at all if she talks to me or not. She haven't attempt any contact with me and frankly, I don't think she will. Its hard for me to do anything but check her online status on both Facebook and Whatsapp. With regret and sadness, I notice she is online even at late hours and even though she told me she wasn't dating any man, the fact that she might is driving me mad.

DAY 5
Its been very tough. I have not been able to do anything but think of her. My day is a roller coaster, sometimes I am thinking f***k you b****, sometimes I think it was my fault because I got depressed, sometimes I think she has faith in us, sometimes I think I will cry at the thought that I am just another guy on her list. I don't know what to do. I need to focus on my studies, but I cannot literally do anything. I think I don't want to permanently burn all the bridges but I think she already is burning them.

Any word of advice? Something that I should be doing? I am going to the gym (3 week streak now), to a psychologist and to a nutritionist in the hopes of working on myself. I will put a big effort in stop stalking her on social networks and do this no contact challenge. I want to man up, but sometimes I think I wont. Some part of me says, "don't give up, she is worth it, don't forget her", but later on I feel waves of humiliation and sadness.

 

[tenocv]

And there we go back two steps to day 2...when it's supposed to be day 5 or something.

Really gotta grow a pair...

And to Juan Manuel,

Yeah - man it's natural to think about her but do other things! Get off the computer and get off the phone and stop looking at her at these social networks.