The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cerwin Vega]

774 days NC

Haha seriously, I bet no-one from 2 years ago is still here (page 300~ of this thread).

To all the newcomers, hang in there. It's totally worth it!

My crazy ex has been trying to track me and my girfriend, she ****ed up big time by accidentally following her on instagram, poor sap
She also been through at least 3 relationships so far, cheated on at least 2 of them, got engaged, broke it off because "the guy was too needy"...oh girl I hope you'll find your peace.

Currently a 2nd year med student, visiting here for the sake of the old days. I'm about 97% cured, it's been a long road and one hell of a breakup. I'll never fall for a BPD again. Looking back, I can't find anything remotely attractive about her, what a foolish teen I was...

 

[Firestar786]

It been around the 90 day mark

Ex has added me back to whatsapp

Any ideas why ?

 

[Juanto]

It been around the 90 day mark

Ex has added me back to whatsapp

Any ideas why ?

How do you "add" someone on whatsapp?

 

[alex_in24]

Agreed. Never be the guy wanting the relationship. Ever. That is the woman's territory. I agree with Corey Wayne on on that totally. As soon as the guy moves away from being a fun guy who has great sex with his woman and starts pursuing it all goes wrong. Let the woman be the one to bring the subject of relationships up.

I tell you. My ex, I have discussed on this thread. The one who dumped me three times? She is blowing up my phone texting me, she loves me, misses me and what i did to her in bed, I was the man of her dreams the one and only. I have not seen her in six months and have been ignoring her. What does it prove? It makes them miss you and wonder about you and fantasize about you. She's texting me pictures of her and her vibrator saying this could be me and she misses it with me. How things turn around. @alex_in24 said it perfectly in June when he replied to me that I will be the one who is missed and she will be the one heartache. Thankyou brother for your wisdom. I continue to ignore her and I am three months in with another woman who we have wild sex with and great times. Ex still casts a long shadow though - I will admit to that.

I am always willing to help here brother, and I am glad that u found a woman who appreciates u and respects u utterly. As I said in June, what goes around comes around. And it came around brother,as for u, and as for me also.

Exactly 6 months since my break up, and 5 months of NC, yesterday my ex liked a photo on FB which i was tagged in with 2 beautiful woman, and I sleep with 1 of them. Since I have blocked her and I couldn't have seen the like, my friend who is also tagged in the picture called me at 10 am. She called me to say that my ex liked that photo and immediately called her on the phone (she was our mutual friend, still rarely sees my ex). My ex was asking my friend questions like : Who was Alex with on that party ? Is that his girlfriend next to him ? Did they kiss eachother in front of u ? How is he doing? He seems happy etc etc.

I wasn't shocked, wasn't happy, wasn't sad. I just knew that would happen, eventually. So I was not surprised. How did I know that ? I got my fvcking life in order my brothers. My studies are going super great. I got a raise. My looks are great and my social circle and respect that I get from people are enormous.

Its not going to be a surprise if she tries to directly contact me in near future, since she is walking around my building every other day and looks up to my window if she can see me...

So yeah, what goes around comes around.

 

[Fireballs]

~170 days NC

My top/favourite plate broke this week and have found myself thinking about my ex again .. It almost felt like day 1 all over again the other day.

Working really hard on finding my centre again and staying there.

Stay strong bro's

 

[Firestar786]

How can u think of your ex after 6 months lol

 

[BeTheChange]

How can u think of your ex after 6 months lol

Strange isn't it. 2 months free and I couldn't care less.

Still have the odd moment of anger over how I got played towards the end...but then objectively I played her just as hard if not worse throughout most of the relationship so I shrug my shoulders and get on with my day. Time heals and it has taught me that in the grander scheme of things all of this utterly insignificant. It's all about perspective. Be zen.

Wish her the best.

Would still bang though.

 

[Firestar786]

Lol

Your ex sounded f0vked up
Mine was also f0cked up

Better to replace

 

[BeTheChange]

God damn I love bishes
Especially when they only such d1ck and
wash dishes
Cook and clean and grant my wishes

 

[Grozer Compozer]

Final Update : Success

About 2.5 months since breakup. Mostly NC with minimal texting.

I have reached No Contact Nirvana. This is defined as the state at which you realize under no circumstances would you trade your current situation to return to the ex that dumped you.

How did I get here?

Right after the breakup, take NC serious. Just block her out completely. Know that there will be pain, jealousy, etc. If not, you are not a human. Embrace the pain but let it flow through you.
The pain makes you who you are. Work out like a madman. Chase your dreams. Stay positive. Spin plates... hard. I jumped into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Lost a ton of weight and its hard to obsess about your ex when someone is trying to strangle you.

I worked on my social circle. Within a few weeks I met a new girl and we started dating. I was dating tons of other people concurrently. As time passed, I realized the new girl was a total catch. If my ex called me up begging for another chance and offering unlimited sex, I'd say no (maybe... pump n dump), because I know the baggage that goes with fixing an old relationship. This new one is fresh. I won't eat rotten fruit with worms in it, why would I feel differently about relationship that has expired? The new girl makes me very happy. She is like a delicious apple with no worms.

Conclusion: NC works. Spinning plates works. This forum works. Game works. You must be fluid, present, yet detached. Good luck!

Edit: I just went through the exes FB feed for the first time in 3 months. Why? Ask J.W. Goethe. Experience the pain. Get through it. I'm happier now. The greatest danger of NC is running away and burying your problems deeper instead of facing the fear and moving on.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Final Update : Success

About 2.5 months since breakup. Mostly NC with minimal texting.

I have reached No Contact Nirvana. This is defined as the state at which you realize under no circumstances would you trade your current situation to return to the ex that dumped you.

How did I get here?

Right after the breakup, take NC serious. Just block her out completely. Know that there will be pain, jealousy, etc. If not, you are not a human. Embrace the pain but let it flow through you.
The pain makes you who you are. Work out like a madman. Chase your dreams. Stay positive. Spin plates... hard. I jumped into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Lost a ton of weight and its hard to obsess about your ex when someone is trying to strangle you.

I worked on my social circle. Within a few weeks I met a new girl and we started dating. I was dating tons of other people concurrently. As time passed, I realized the new girl was a total catch. If my ex called me up begging for another chance and offering unlimited sex, I'd say no (maybe... pump n dump), because I know the baggage that goes with fixing an old relationship. This new one is fresh. I won't eat rotten fruit with worms in it, why would I feel differently about relationship that has expired? The new girl makes me very happy. She is like a delicious apple with no worms.

Conclusion: NC works. Spinning plates works. This forum works. Game works. You must be fluid, present, yet detached. Good luck!

Edit: I just went through the exes FB feed for the first time in 3 months. Why? Ask J.W. Goethe. Experience the pain. Get through it. I'm happier now. The greatest danger of NC is running away and burying your problems deeper instead of facing the fear and moving on.

All of this is great advice. Keep your mind occupied. I find that when I have something that holds my interest, the interval of time where I don't think of her goes up. You will find that you will think of her less and less. Train your mind to change the subject whenever you think of her - immediately switch to something else, even if it's not positive. If you allow her to continue to float in your mind it will prolong the agony.
And never, ever think of her having sex with her new man. That will set you way back on your road to recovery. She's not that special and one day he will be so bored with her - guaranteed, so focus on that.

 

[finality]

Day 1.

 

[resilient]

Day 12
Found out last night that the ex RSVP to an event I'm going to for Halloween celebration at the end of next month on our mutual social website that I paid $15.00 up front to join. It won't quite be sixty days by then like the thread recommends for NC. The cool thing? 50 or more persons going and wearing costumes at this social gathering at a bar/restaurant. I'm going to be wearing a mask that covers my face completely. I'm thinking of either going as Alien or Predator. It'll be interesting to see if she approaches me or tries to contact me or text before then. I've caught my mind wondering if she's on the hunt for more orbiters to hook up with, but when I'm thoughts go there, I remind myself that I'm the one that walked away. Since then I've kept myself distracted as much as possible. Just finished Rational Male V.2, now reading Rational Male V.1 on my Kindle.

Meanwhile...
- I'm upping the intensity in my workouts daily.
- Going for my scuba open-water certification classes early next month.
- Continuing to research grad schools and requirements.
- Fixing inner game/frame issues of abandonment, scarcity, conditioning, white knight etc.
- Socializing 1-2/x a week while in mini-monk mode.

 

[Reykhel]

How can u think of your ex after 6 months lol

You'll never completely erase them from your memory, unless you go through a process as in that movie
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind....

From time to time, an ex may pop into my thoughts randomly, just like other memories may pop into my head from
time to time. They have no real importance and soon fly away again, like a butterfly being carried away by the breeze....

......and life goes on.

Consider your thoughts like the drops of water that make up a stream that's gently flowing by you as you sit on the edge, meditating
on the present, with a knowing smile, unattached unaffected, yet intrinsically connected to the space between the thoughts.

 

[Firestar786]

You'll never completely erase them from your memory, unless you go through a process as in that movie
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind....

From time to time, an ex may pop into my thoughts randomly, just like other memories may pop into my head from
time to time. They have no real importance and soon fly away again, like a butterfly being carried away by the breeze....

......and life goes on.

Consider your thoughts like the drops of water that make up a stream that's gently flowing by you as you sit on the edge, meditating
on the present, with a knowing smile, unattached unaffected, yet intrinsically connected to the space between the thoughts.

I dont know about you but after 6 months of being NC from my ex; if I thought about her after that long i would check myself into a mental institution. th

any ex ive ever had i have FORGOT ABOUT by the 6 month mark.

i remember a simple die hard rule i follow - F0CK 5 OTHER WOMEN AND SEE IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR EX.

^ simple as that bro.

 

[Firestar786]

It'll be interesting to see if she approaches me or tries to contact me or text before then


^ dude f0ck her. find other women to f0ck. she isnt the other woman to worry about on the planet.

 

[Reykhel]

I dont know about you but after 6 months of being NC from my ex; if I thought about her after that long i would check myself into a mental institution. th

any ex ive ever had i have FORGOT ABOUT by the 6 month mark.

i remember a simple die hard rule i follow - F0CK 5 OTHER WOMEN AND SEE IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR EX.

^ simple as that bro.

You seem to have misinterpreted what I wrote, my dear child.

I wasn't talking about getting over your ex. I don't really see how that would take you six months.
You said "to forget about your ex". Maybe "forget" and "get over" are synonyms for you? (in other words, they mean the same thing)

For me they are not synonyms. I could "get over" anyone pretty quickly and move on. But to forget? forget for me, means to have no
recollection.............I still remember my first LTR which started when I was 17 years of age. I am long since over her.....but how could I
"forget". That would be to remove a number of years of my life from my memory. Again, hence my reference to The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.....

If you had forgotten about your ex, you wouldn't have the ability to recognize in this thread that you've forgotten about her. Because you would have forgotten. But you remember that you've forgotten, so you haven't forgotten at all. Sure you've got over her, but you haven't forgotten.

You're from the Uk, why am I having to explain the Queen's English to you. I thought you people invented the language.

If you need to fvck five women to prove you don't care about your ex, you're still being controlled by her. That's reactionary.

Gentlemen. spin plates and you'll never have to "get over" an ex again. Mould one of them long and hard into your frame if you wish to eventually LTR the best candidate, but stay detached and know this will end one day......

When it does, you'll be "over her" by the time you're eating your corn flakes the next morning.

 

[Firestar786]

'Dear child' lol

There was a way of explaining in queens English as to not belittle me.

But still, your the 38 yo on an Internet forum writing about sluts as opposed to f0cking them

Word of advice- turn your computer off and see the world for what it is.
Also I'm not here to engage in some online debate with you, I have better things to do. Clearly you don't.

 

[Adz--]

Day 28

Things have started to get easier and better the last few days, i still think of her but when i do i try and think of the present moment to try and forget about her.
Been focusing more on gym, hobbies and education things now.
I went out this Saturday that just went by, i danced with two girls and kissed one, i didnt really want to take it any further with them tbh.
Things are starting to settle down now, it still feels a bit weird not msg'ing her or seeing her things..
Kinda weird that she's a total stranger now too..

Ive decided not to go back into a LTR anytime soon again, i need to fix myself first before i think anything like that again.

adz--

 

[resilient]

Day 17
Doing better. I haven't been thinking about the ex-fwb much lately. Some thoughts creep in now and then. I did have something really weird happen last weekend. I had my phone on Do Not Disturb when I went to bed as usual, yet when I checked it in the morning I got an anonymous text message from "bit.ly" at 12:52 AM. It might have been just spam, because I googled and some Yahoo answers thread said some people have gotten text from bit.ly before and urged not to respond for identity theft reasons.

In any case, here's what the cryptic text message said:

"If you lost interest in sex, one day you may find yourself alone and unhappy"​

It was about the two week mark that she said that "her" or "I" would re-initiate contact with a "hey" or "hi" to be "platonic friends". Lol.. I obviously didn't so maybe that was her text or just simply spam. Idk.

I'll be honest though, DJs.... my goals have been slipping a little lately. I'm trying to accomplish what I set out to do from my last post, just have been lacking in motivation. It may have to do with the online class I'm taking right now is freaking boring as f, but necessary for my degree reqs. I'm also letting my body recover after hiking a mountain that was nearly 12,000 ft high with a 4,000 ft elevation gain over nearly 18 miles out and back.