Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
We are all human with a heart and failings. We are not machines. We f*** up sometimes as @BeTheChange did here. Just got to try and learn from it. I just had a weekend of wild sex with my new woman, it was great. But I still think of the ex, especially since she offered me FWB status with her. I am so tempted but I do not think it is a good idea for my emotional well-being. Maybe I always will want her, she meant a lot to me despite the sh1t she gave me. I'm a very bright, professional and switched-on man. I should know better. But logic and education plays no part in human desires and sometimes we fail and we give in to our temptations. It is so hard sometimes. I feel and have sympathy for @BeTheChange even though he undoubtedly fooked up.
Oh no doubt,I'm not hating on him,it's just that it comes down to how bad it got really,with a full blown bpd ex like mine I've come out of the fog enough to know without a doubt If I continue with her in any way I will end up dead or in jail. I've been where he is and even though he ****ed her while she was talking to the other dude he lost,and she won it feeds into her power trip,these people will literally Destroy you and continue on there merry way like it was all you. They literally destroy your self esteem and you feel like you've got the upper hand when you've gone through hell and high water to bang them or get them to commit time with you but as they say,"when the devil wants to dance you better say never because the dance with the devil will last you forever."
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Agree. 100%. If she wanted to fix the problems she would still be with you still, working at them. She is not, she's gone. Conclusion? She is not interested in you and nothing you say with change this; you could offer her the world and it would still not be enough. So let her go and forget her and let her live with her choice. She will often realize in her own time how wrong she was about you, by which time you will be happy and in love with someone else.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Be careful you don't want too meet back uo with her because you want to "win" the break up. No contact is for you too heal and to move on starting life in a brand new direction. Meeting for coffee and talking although brief is just keeping you on her string.
Very good point. Starting to feel like breaking n/c was a mistake.
Sounds to me like she broke up with you in the first place for the RIGHT reasons - you getting fat and video playing games all day. I don't blame her - what decent girl wants a fat, lazy man? In light of that and the fact you got back in shape and upped your stock maybe she wants another chance now you have sorted yourself out. Only you can weigh this up. Personally and with my own hindsight I believe that if the relationship has ended once it can do so very easily and for very spurious reasons in the future. That's not to say it will for certainty but it is highly probable. You should understand - and others on here will tell you the same - that subsequent make-up/break-up cycles become increasingly painful and take longer to recover from. Knowing what I now know about my own on-again/off-again ex I would ignore and move on.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
^^^^ Very true
Thanks. That's the truth. She was a good girl and I ****ed it up. But there are a millions of them and now I know what to work on (avoid video games like the plague, keep in shape, and focus on my business), so when I meet an even better girl, I wont make the same mistakes. That hard learned lesson is what makes the breakup a good thing. Plus, as my guy friend reminded me, she was also a "bossy, controlling, feminist." Good riddance!
I believe the advice you gave to me in my thread after I had replied amicably ONCE to my (bpd) ex after she contacted me after 7 months of NC - and only to help give myself closure - included:
Different strokes brother. If an objective person looking at your situation would conclude you were the wronged party then my advice would still stand. For my situation that is not the case and I deliberately chose not to divulge too many details about my behaviour because I wanted the sympathy and feel good factor.