The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Mr_Stinky]

It's been 8 days. I will win this battle

 

[_Dream_]

Day 9 (after the reset since i spied )
53 days from the break up
I messed up the dates in my last post, NC hasnt lasted for as long as i thought

Anyways im back in my hometown for Christmas holidays.
Going to spend 2 weeks here.
It much harder than i thought, everything in this town has a memory connected with my ex.
She spent last 6 winter breaks in my house. I miss that, i miss that feeling of being really close with someone and enjoying holidays with them. Ye sure going out with friends is fun, but cuddling up with her was the best part..
I can't even start to imagine how somebody that used to be married and had kids feels, alone at Christmas.
At every moment i am 10 minutes of car drive away from her. I don't feel a need to go and see her, but i wish she would come to see me, its messing with my head.
It was much easier when i was half way across europe away from here.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Keep this on Dream. You wanting her to go see you only has to be with your ego, and you now it. Its nice to feel that ego boost but it will be bad for you in the long term. So be happy if she does not go to see you.
I completly understand your feelings about Christmash, my x was an excellent cooker and I ****ing miss those cakes and other **** she used to make. Just keep this on mate, we're going to do this, for us.

 

[Lozboss]

For all you guys going through the healing at Christmas- keep fighting the good fight. Chins up!

Christmas is a coupley time and hard- stay NC and get through it!!

 

[CuddleJunkie]

For all you guys going through the healing at Christmas- keep fighting the good fight. Chins up!

Christmas is a coupley time and hard- stay NC and get through it!!

Thanks Lozboss, you are a really supportive guy, and it's to be aprecieted. The Christmas night kind of sucked at first because its been 4 years attending it with her, she was part of the family. It's really her loss, my family is awesome and they loved her. Luckily my grandpa's wine, and whisky made the night a really fun experience. By next year's holidays I won't even remember her.

 

[Lozboss]

Thanks Lozboss, you are a really supportive guy, and it's to be aprecieted. The Christmas night kind of sucked at first because its been 4 years attending it with her, she was part of the family. It's really her loss, my family is awesome and they loved her. Luckily my grandpa's wine, and whisky made the night a really fun experience. By next year's holidays I won't even remember her.

Good man.

My family is awesome and it's my Exs loss not to be part of it.

Keep on trucking dude- I know it's hard.

 

[Glumix]

So she gave me my DVD back... She had 21 days to choose from and she chose Christmas Day to recontact. Ahah !

She dumped me on my birthday btw.

And she is like: why don't you want us to be friends ?! I don't know, perhaps because you are a ***** ?




So cute...

 

[Armourhead]

So she gave me my DVD back... She had 21 days to choose from and she chose Christmas Day to recontact. Ahah !
She dumped me on my birthday btw.
And she is like: why don't you want us to be friends ?! I don't know, perhaps because you are a ***** ?
So cute...

Hang in there, they can be very methodical when it suits their needs. My ex keeps sending me probing questions and asking to hang out and how is my xmas going. But she only sends those messages when she is at her new house and is bored/has no friends. Basically just an attempt to get my attention because nobody else is available at the time.

As for her breaking up with you on your birthday, just think of it as the best birthday gift you could get. Rather than wasting any more of your time/affection she has given you your freedom to find a better girl or to pursue your own happiness. Hang in there, xmas sucks but try to spend as much of it with family/siblings/best friends.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

So she gave me my DVD back... She had 21 days to choose from and she chose Christmas Day to recontact. Ahah !

She dumped me on my birthday btw.

And she is like: why don't you want us to be friends ?! I don't know, perhaps because you are a ***** ?




So cute...

How the hell can they do this ****? I was reading in TRPsub about a lot of guys getting dumped around finals dates. Can they jusst wait for 2 weeks?

 

[Glumix]

How the hell can they do this ****? I was reading in TRPsub about a lot of guys getting dumped around finals dates. Can they jusst wait for 2 weeks?

Because they want you to talk about it for years.

As men, we want to forget them and move on as fast as we can but they don't want us to do that. They want to fvck us up one more time to be sure they stay in our memory some more and so they can keep up that illusion of control they have over us.

They just don't care they look like b!tches because they already have moved on, rebuilt their reputation within their own circle of friends and they have plenty of excuses for whatever they do. And if you appear to complain about the way you got dumped or anything, this will drain you some more manliness and will justify why they dumped you at first.

But doing that she just showed me once again who she really is. So I don't care. It's not about me.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Because they want you to talk about it for years.

As men, we want to forget them and move on as fast as we can but they don't want us to do that. They want to fvck us up one more time to be sure they stay in our memory some more and so they can keep up that illusion of control they have over us.

They just don't care they look like b!tches because they already have moved on, rebuilt their reputation within their own circle of friends and they have plenty of excuses for whatever they do. And if you appear to complain about the way you got dumped or anything, this will drain you some more manliness and will justify why they dumped you at first.

But doing that she just showed me once again who she really is. So I don't care. It's not about me.

That makes sense. Damn, this is the thing about being male, that you can't even imagine these games being true. Keep this one Glumix.

 

[Lozboss]

These people only have power over you if YOU let them.

Its tough, you can't just switch it off. But you can make a conscious decision to not let that b*tch ruin anymore of your life

 

[_Dream_]

Day 15
59 days after break up

I have to tell you all im feeling like im on the top of the world..
In one week i went out to party 3 times, and every time i ended up with a new girl. My ex was holding me back for so long. She hated drinking, partying, socializing, all the I am a genius at.
Big money i earned while working abroad enables me to do magical things like go out every day.
At a huge party i made the following happened ( 30 people came ):

• Girl that has a boyfriend was showing me high level of interest. When the moment was right i jokingly grabbed her boobs. She dragged me into my bathroom, took of her shirt off and we started to make out. Things were hot for few minutes, but before things could escalate she decided she doesn't want to cheat on him all the way, but told me "if things don't work out between me and him, im coming for you"... i laughed at that
• One hour after girl that was pure 9/10 dragged me into my bathroom and madly asked me why aren't i hitting on her (i barely know her, invited her friend over and she came along). She started explaining to me what a perfect body she has (lol). I told her there are many pretty girls in the world but it would be nice if someone is actually interesting. Thaaaaaaat started an avalanche of her explaining her hobbies, her college degree, her language skill... justifying to me like im some judge. Thing is... my friend, who basically saved my life by introducing me to the red pill ( and gave me 15+ books on that subject), was working his game on her since the start of the night. So we just made out a bit and i took her back to him. He took her home and fvck-ed her properly. I dont regret it, he means much more to me than her.

Two days after:

• Went to a pub in middle of a day with a buddy of mine. As time went by i used facebook to invite people over. Soon there was 8 of us, among who few girls i just met 2 days ago. A girl sitting next to me was 5 years younger, half a head taller than me and was a definition of a pretty girl. I went by the books and i was having time of my life just experimenting with psychology, messing with her head, using compliance tests to see where im at. My goal wasnt even to get with her, the game is fun enough for me. Anyways, at 01:00 in the night i called a big van-taxi, took us all to my place, where we continued the party. She spent last 2 hours cuddling up with me under the blanket while people drank around us. At 06:00 people ordered a cab and she reluctantly went home home. In middle of the night i got a message from her saying "how sorry she feels for leaving, she just met me and sleeping over was a bit weird and how cold and lonely her bed feels"

I still suck at escalating things to sex, but i have to say my confidence is incredibly high at this point in time. Sorry for the long post, thank you all for your support. Every kind word meant so much at the hardest moments.

 

[dustmuffin]

What books have you read?

 

[KittyHon]

Here is my story and I am not english native so, if there is mistakes or rude words plz forgive me

My ex-boyfriend(ex-bf) (He was my first bf and one year elder than me(27)) broke up with me in Beginning of November because he said no feeling on me.

And I sad for 2weeks but tried to meet new friends and had new live, also
I worte letter or record voice recorder that never send to him when I felt bad. It worked and i though I am ok from the break up.

But few days ago,i suddenly miss him again and want to meet him and hear his voice and cannot concentrate on everything.And i dream about him last night and he told to me softly and tender in my dream. I really missing him and want to repair the relationship. And the writing and recording no more work. And all the new fds I met not close to talk private things and felt more sad after i back from meeting with them.
How I can do? Will I meet another one better than him? Can I fall in love with someone in future again?Anyone can please any suggeston or talk with me?

If you don't mind, you can read this long and complicated story of him and me. Here is the background.

My ex-bf and I met and began as couple when we studied at Japanese school at japan and he is Egyptian and Muslim.

We met almost everyday in first 3months until I moved to another place for job which is far away to each other. Mostly I back to the place he had living and we met once per month (I think It's ok)until September.

And he moved near to me again cause he found job nearby too.But after one month,He moved to another place again also cause of his job

He changed me a lot. I afraid to fall in love and cannot have sex before marriage but what he did made me believe and worth to rely on him.
Also, I gave up easily and always listen to my parents and have no own idea. But he gave me brave to make decision and let me learn to be responsible on my decisions.
He introduced his american fds to me and It's first time to know the real american culture and style and it's really interesting.
Before that i didn't care these and only focus the things i like.
He has the same dream as me-go travelling around Japan, and he has various knowledge, especially the science and myth that I liked even I am not good at or remember the knowledge.We discuss the science topics after watched movies. It's the first person I met can to do so.
He also knew me well even sometimes i said nothing.

Even the last dating or the evening we broke up, he took care me very well. He mentioned everythings,e.g., the places of hospital, or i should drink sugar water when i feel dizzy, to lock the door and windows and so on and on.He's still kind and tinder to me.He said he will not dissappear in the first week so that whatever I want to tell him I could to do so and he introduced some groups to me so that I could find new friends.

These days, where ever I went, it mentioned me about him and I really missing him and want to talk to him and repair the relationship!(I even though that I don't mind to get marry with him before we broke up)
How I can do? Will I meet another one better than him? Can I fall in love with someone in future again?

 

[Armourhead]

Here is my story and I am not english native so, if there is mistakes or rude words plz forgive me

My ex-boyfriend(ex-bf) (He was my first bf and one year elder than me(27)) broke up with me in Beginning of November because he said no feeling on me.

And I sad for 2weeks but tried to meet new friends and had new live, also
I worte letter or record voice recorder that never send to him when I felt bad. It worked and i though I am ok from the break up.

But few days ago,i suddenly miss him again and want to meet him and hear his voice and cannot concentrate on everything.And i dream about him last night and he told to me softly and tender in my dream. I really missing him and want to repair the relationship. And the writing and recording no more work. And all the new fds I met not close to talk private things and felt more sad after i back from meeting with them.
How I can do? Will I meet another one better than him? Can I fall in love with someone in future again?Anyone can please any suggeston or talk with me?

Hey KittyHon, welcome to SoSuave

The short version is this:
Go to the gym, men are visual creatures and you will meet a lot more and better men if you are in shape.
Work your smile, grow your hair out.
Never become entitled, act pleasant and don't expect men to bow down to you because you are a girl.
Ignore your ex, delete his fb, delete his number etc. Tell him you need to do it if you must but don't feel that you have to tell him.

Try to avoid social media, don't use tinder/online dating/facebook if you can avoid it. That road will only take you to a point where no man can possibly measure up to your expectations and you'll never feel in love again.
Hold onto your virginity as long as you can realistically. I'm not saying to hold onto it until you're 30 or married, but you need to learn to vet men as fast as possible. The good men these days know that sex is cheap and plentiful and won't wait forever, so you need to make sure he's good enough for you as soon as possible, yet at the same time he won't leave you the next day.

 

[KittyHon]

Hey KittyHon, welcome to SoSuave

The short version is this:
Go to the gym, men are visual creatures and you will meet a lot more and better men if you are in shape.
Work your smile, grow your hair out.
Never become entitled, act pleasant and don't expect men to bow down to you because you are a girl.
Ignore your ex, delete his fb, delete his number etc. Tell him you need to do it if you must but don't feel that you have to tell him.

Try to avoid social media, don't use tinder/online dating/facebook if you can avoid it. That road will only take you to a point where no man can possibly measure up to your expectations and you'll never feel in love again.
Hold onto your virginity as long as you can realistically. I'm not saying to hold onto it until you're 30 or married, but you need to learn to vet men as fast as possible. The good men these days know that sex is cheap and plentiful and won't wait forever, so you need to make sure he's good enough for you as soon as possible, yet at the same time he won't leave you the next day.

Thank you for your advise.Even myself, I think I am not mature enough.I have a long hair and my body shape is not bad, but I will do what you advised, I mean the gym.

In fact, I am doing NC for almost 2months.(This website is he gave me and suggest me to do, so he knows the rule and we never contact each other since the day after 1 week we broke up)

He helped me to delete all the photos and bring the things ,that relative to him, to his place(He said he will keep them and send them back to me if I want after really can forget him)

I am living the world without him already, But suddenly these days cannot stop thinking about him.And image the situation if he still besides me. Even I am really busy for my work and housework and daily live.
That make me feel painful and stressed. I like eating and sporting but I couldn't eat and feel tired to do sports.
I tried several things that suggested through the net but seems not work.
Sorry for the capricious reply.

 

[Glumix]

Second night of insomnia.
Can't stop thinking. My mind is on fire.

Wondering if my ex will change. Wondering if my relationship would have been different if I had no fear.

Can't get rid of those thoughts.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Second night of insomnia.
Can't stop thinking. My mind is on fire.

Wondering if my ex will change. Wondering if my relationship would have been different if I had no fear.

Can't get rid of those thoughts.

I don't know if you go to the gym, but if you don't, go, it will help you sleep better and to get more control of your thoughts. I wonder too sometimes if thing could have been different, but the reality is that it does not matter anymore. Once you break a relationship it will remain broken, so do your best and stay busy.
You can do this mate.

 

[KittyHon]

Until just now,I felt I'm good cause I think about my dream and the things I want and need to do. But suddenly, I am feeling bad without alarms and just want to meet him, remember the situations one year ago just in relationship and cannot stop imaging if he is beside me right now. And I have a feeling that I can meet him this weekend. (We met once or twice per month at weekends)

But I not see his fb(his fb is open so even I deleted him I still can know if I want) and anythings about him
But he can't go away from my thinking and I am really busy to do houseworks but...
I don't even know and understand why ppl can give up so easily or have other lovers.