32 days NC
Hey guys, bit of backstory we broke up 6 months ago but was a bit on and of and we had sex last time 4 months ago. But I was acting weaker and she lost attraction more and more.
She met someone new 3 months ago and contacted me and asked me out for a dinner to tell me this and said she respects me and cares "so much" about me and asked if im seeing someone else etc. After this I went very low contact.
We kept running into eachother and she saw me with another girl and started texting me and I was drunk that evening and I stupidly enough responded directly, ditched the girl and started making out with my ex touching her etc like good old days and she said she really cares about me and looked at me with loving eyes. A week after this I saw her and asked if she wanted to grab drinks and she blew me off completely and I started NC since then.
At day 32 now, I went out on friday and saw her at the club. She ignored me and walked past with her friends pretending she didnt see me and I didnt try to make contact. Was enjoying my evening and I saw her speaking with some of our mutual friends and on her way out she didnt even look at me and walked past. I tried make eye contact and smile but nothing.
Im not intending on doing any contact at all at this point, ive been a doormat/safetynet for her and shes disrespected me more than enough. I know she is still seeing the same guy, think they have been dating for 3 months now and she seems to like him although she was extremely jealous when she saw me with another girl and she was ok with me kissing her.
Best part of NC is though that it truly helps, even if I wont get her back the oneitis I had is starting to fade away slowly, im dating a new girl now and even though I know I wont fall in love with her the same way as it was with my ex, the sex is good and the amount of respect/appreciation im recieving is exactly the way my ex USED to treat me before I became weak and emotional. Its really an EGOboost knowing that there is alot of girls out there ready to treat you like a MAN and not giving you all the bs and treat u like dirt.
I can understand my past actions been needy and ive allowed my ex to treat me like dirt by being too caring, and after she dumped me I should have moved on INSTANTLY and making it hard for her to get me back but what is done is done. My main problem with my ex is that she knew she could always have me...
With the girl I am seeing now im COMPLETELY indiffrent since im still thinking about my ex and I think this is something important. INDIFFRENCE, I need to reach the point with my ex where im COMPLETELY indiffrent and im not there yet but im slowly getting there.
28 days more to go, I have one question though.
If I would run into my ex at the gym, or on the street how do you guys suggest I should act at this point? Just ignore her and walk by not even saying hi, wave and say hi and move on or smile and say hi? Remember I "chased" her on our last contact and she blew me off completely. So im not interested in putting a conversation, she doesnt deserve it anymore and she made it clear shes moving on although I would love to have her back I want to do whats best for my healing but ALSO whats best to get her back.
I realised now that its all just a game, there is no such thing as loyalty and honor when it comes to women, its all about their emotions and feelings and they dont give a **** about our feelings unless its for their own winning unfortunately. I cant blaim women purely though since its human behaviour, we always put ourselves first but men are atleast somewhat logical.
Anyway, hanging in there, nice to reflect a bit and will be back after another month of NC and hopefully my oneitis is completely gone by then