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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Jmurphy55- It's crap mate- but you need to finally move on, you clearly haven't. You also need to let these experiences educate you (notice I didn't say 'change'). Trust yourself that sooner or later you will find the right person that gives as much back as you give them (in all ways). Your Ex girlfriends aren't clearly like that.
Try dating people who are completely different from your normal type- it's refreshing and gives your perspective.
rsox - Yes buddy- but that tells you she's seeking your affection because she hasn't moved on or has tried to and failed. Leave her and find somebody worth your time. This was a tough mistake but a good mistake to learn from.
Zoom5 -Just go cold turkey a few days. You need to get power back. You like her so you chase her (this is fair enough) - but WRONG. Just cool your jets and let her come back to you. If she knows you're chasing her it will push her away. Give her some space and if she likes you then she will come to you.
Dating women is like getting back with an Ex - you just need to show interest but only the slightest bit, then let them come to you. It's like being a hunter and setting the trap- if you try and force them into it- they will just run.
Try dating people who are completely different from your normal type- it's refreshing and gives your perspective.
rsox - Yes buddy- but that tells you she's seeking your affection because she hasn't moved on or has tried to and failed. Leave her and find somebody worth your time. This was a tough mistake but a good mistake to learn from.
Zoom5 -Just go cold turkey a few days. You need to get power back. You like her so you chase her (this is fair enough) - but WRONG. Just cool your jets and let her come back to you. If she knows you're chasing her it will push her away. Give her some space and if she likes you then she will come to you.
Dating women is like getting back with an Ex - you just need to show interest but only the slightest bit, then let them come to you. It's like being a hunter and setting the trap- if you try and force them into it- they will just run.
@lozboss
That is my intention, how long should I wait? Maybe I scared her off and she might not call this time...
But if I look it at a different perspective, I know her for 5year and she still hasn't ****ed me off even when I did all sorty of things needy guys do back then, this means
she likes me or something right?
That is my intention, how long should I wait? Maybe I scared her off and she might not call this time...
But if I look it at a different perspective, I know her for 5year and she still hasn't ****ed me off even when I did all sorty of things needy guys do back then, this means
she likes me or something right?
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
She does but don't let that lull you into a false sense of security.zoom5 said:
Golden rule is that you treat everyone, even girls you like, like you can take it or leave it. You treat them special or put them on a pedestal they will resent you for it and pull away.
I'd give it a few days and let her contact you. The next step has to be hers (that way you can truly tell if she is still interested).
If she doesn't get in touch then I'm sorry she's not interested in being more than friends.
Day 5 NC for me
Haven't heard back from Ex since the whatsapp yesterday. Holding strong. If she's interested she'll chase me. I'm giving her nothing.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
You are right mate- but that mindset comes with time.Mauser96 said:
I'm doing it to get over her, I'm determined of that. I'm doing it for me, nobody else.
For my own health of mind and getting back to being alpha me.
@lozboss
I'll give it my best...I kind of fell into this "not giving a **** zone" so it's cool now..feel awesome now... currently. I hope it keeps up!
Corey Wayne is awesome omg, such a mood boost and confidence!
@Mauser96
I did that... doing better now. I must not see her or hear from her..that kills me the most.... But like I said up there...It's better because I have someone else to keep my mind on.
day.5 by the way.
I saw my ex today crossing the street in front of a mall. She didn't see me or didn't want to see me... She was with her parents, the didn't look in that direction... AWKWARD. I got so lost in my head I parked the car on the farthest parking space away from the mall. **** that was intense.
I'll give it my best...I kind of fell into this "not giving a **** zone" so it's cool now..feel awesome now... currently. I hope it keeps up!
Corey Wayne is awesome omg, such a mood boost and confidence!
@Mauser96
I did that... doing better now. I must not see her or hear from her..that kills me the most.... But like I said up there...It's better because I have someone else to keep my mind on.
day.5 by the way.
I saw my ex today crossing the street in front of a mall. She didn't see me or didn't want to see me... She was with her parents, the didn't look in that direction... AWKWARD. I got so lost in my head I parked the car on the farthest parking space away from the mall. **** that was intense.
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Changing13
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2012
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
- 1
Day 3:
We broke up on 3/9/15 because she says I was getting too close and It "freaked her out." I don't know what to do. This situation is sticky. I knew from the outset that this was a bad idea, but, I decided to give it try. We dated for 10 months and everything was good. She pushed me to believe certain things I thought to be true, but, apparently they weren't. I stupidly tried to rationalize the situation with her, but, of course to no avail. When I stated to her that I was done and letting her go, she blew me up. I don't understand. She says she loves me, but, has trouble trusting me at this point because of her past hurt with someone else. It is like she cannot let the past go and understand that not every person is the person that hurt you before. It really hurts because I feel like we had a great thing. It was fun, and light and not rushed at all. She made me believe that she wanted more, and when I was ready she pulled it all away. Its hard to wrap my head around it, but, Ive just let go. Once its done, its done. I work with her and I knew at some point the trap Id be in. She last contacted me, so she has initiated all the contact from the breakup. I gave in three days ago and just decided to go ghost and start the healing process. It just helps me to type it out and put my thoughts down. I know where I screwed up and maintained contact that someone that doubts me as a person, etc. I know I deserve more than that and Ill find someone that is able to trust. That is all I am looking for. She keeps telling me she wants to get together etc. I just leave it be. I will not grovel or beg or anything like that. She knew what she had and I feel like I called her bluff and she dipped. Thats cool, everyone is allowed to do or whatever they feel. I wont and will not be an emotional doormat. Time to dust off, re group, re focus and re conquer again. Thanks for the outlet.
We broke up on 3/9/15 because she says I was getting too close and It "freaked her out." I don't know what to do. This situation is sticky. I knew from the outset that this was a bad idea, but, I decided to give it try. We dated for 10 months and everything was good. She pushed me to believe certain things I thought to be true, but, apparently they weren't. I stupidly tried to rationalize the situation with her, but, of course to no avail. When I stated to her that I was done and letting her go, she blew me up. I don't understand. She says she loves me, but, has trouble trusting me at this point because of her past hurt with someone else. It is like she cannot let the past go and understand that not every person is the person that hurt you before. It really hurts because I feel like we had a great thing. It was fun, and light and not rushed at all. She made me believe that she wanted more, and when I was ready she pulled it all away. Its hard to wrap my head around it, but, Ive just let go. Once its done, its done. I work with her and I knew at some point the trap Id be in. She last contacted me, so she has initiated all the contact from the breakup. I gave in three days ago and just decided to go ghost and start the healing process. It just helps me to type it out and put my thoughts down. I know where I screwed up and maintained contact that someone that doubts me as a person, etc. I know I deserve more than that and Ill find someone that is able to trust. That is all I am looking for. She keeps telling me she wants to get together etc. I just leave it be. I will not grovel or beg or anything like that. She knew what she had and I feel like I called her bluff and she dipped. Thats cool, everyone is allowed to do or whatever they feel. I wont and will not be an emotional doormat. Time to dust off, re group, re focus and re conquer again. Thanks for the outlet.
StuffofLegends
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2014
- Messages
- 82
- Reaction score
- 1
So my ex came into where I work today (coffee shop) with another guy. We have been broken up for 10 months on the dot exactly today. Anybody have any ideas as to why she would do this? I didn't even notice she came in at all, my co-workers asked me if I saw her after she left which I didn't even notice lol. We haven't had any contact since January and that was a brief text message. Do you guys think it was a good thing I didn't even notice here presence and gave her no attention? I think that's all she really wanted. What do u guys think?
Twist of Cain
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2012
- Messages
- 50
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 37
after roughly 10 days of our last texts..
she just texted me:
"Hey _____"
she just texted me:
"Hey _____"
Hi. Im a stupid spineless AFC and I need to write this **** down somewhere as my personal penance.
Last year I met a girl (23) and we hit it off great. She was funny, intelligent and pretty and seemed like everything I could ever wish for in a girl. There was a minor problem however. She was in an LTR. She would only see her bf in the weekends though, because they live quite some distance apart. He also had some serious personal issues and it seemed like their relationship was cooling down. The old me would have probably waited for their break-up before making my move, but I've been burned doing that previously: waiting for a relationship to end only to see another guy moving in, her only then ending her previous relationship and seeing myself left standing on the sidelines. Figuring that this was the modus operandi of most women and deciding not to be a dupe again I decided to make my move.
As I said we hit it off great. We shared interests and did everything couples normally do: cooking, shopping, cuddling, joking, laughing and for the first time in quite some time I felt happy. The sex was phenomenal too. There wasn't a thing she wouldn't do if I asked her to and in the rare instances where she seemed a bit reluctant she would do it to "make me happy". Of course this was only on weekdays. In the weekends the bf would visit her or he would visit him and I had to be out of the picture. I told myself this would just be temporary and hearing her complain about him it seemed like they were growing further apart. I of course pressured her a bit to put an end to her relationship, but she was still reluctant. She said she was afraid to hurt him and to add to his issues. She acted pretty torn-up about it, so I decided it was best to be patient.
He wasn't the only one with issues though. She used to be a cutter and had the scars (though not very many) on her legs to prove it. This happened when she was 16-18 in her emo/goth-phase and seeing as how that was some time ago I decided to ignore it. She had also had an eating disorder at that time, but assured me she had grown out of that. She still had a rather obsessive relationship with food and with her weight: calorie-counting, weighing herself several times a week, cardio 3 to 4 times a week and getting really beat-up when she for some reason hadn't gone to the gym or when she had gained weight. I figured that this wasn't too out of the ordinary for most women nowadays. She also admitted to having ****ed 12+ guys (she couldn't exactly be sure and wondered if *******s counted) and 2 girls before she turned 21 and got into her LTR. And although she still checked their facbook-pages sometimes I was told not to worry, because the guys were all *******s and it had meant little. Well I chose to ignore this too and even saw a silver lining in it: her being bi meant I finally had a shot at a MFF-threesome.
These of course are huge huge huge red flags, but she still made me grin like a stupid idiot every time I saw her so I decided to ignore it all. However I slowly grew frustrated with her not ending her LTR and during christmas we had out big first fight. I was to go visit my family alone, while she toured hers and her bf's families like nothing was out of the ordinary. It didn't seem right for her to tell me she loves me and then do that to me. I tried to change her mind and she told me she loved us both and that she wasn't willing to end her LTR. After that she tried to friendzone me. Being crushed by her confession of what I alread suspected and her admission of her actual priorities I told her to **** off and walked out, with her crying and sobbing, telling me I never actually loved her that noone loved her and saying she would be better of dead because "she only caused hurt".
She contacted me a few days later, told me she was depressed and lonely, that she loved me, missed me and really really needed to be ****ed (seems to work on dumb old me) and being spineless and feeling sorry for her and for myself we then got together again. Deliberately ignoring her LTR things were great for a while again until she and the bf were expected to on a week-long vaction with her parents. We ignored this as long as we could but tensions grew and exploded the day before she left. Things got emotional, I got angry, she cried a lot and it ended up with her locking herself in the bathroom cutting herself (although superficially) again. I made sure she was ok, and my emotions being all over the place didn't know what to do and just left.
That should have been it, but stupidly we got together again after her vacation. She mostly seemed to grow more and more depressed however. She started cutting and throwing up her food again. I ignored it for some time (best as i could) hoping it would get better and some days actually were, but she basically told me that she couldn't bear the guilt anymore; both towards her bf for cheating on him and towards me because she thought I deserved better than her. So after seeing little improvement I offered her to end things. I should have, but she actually wasn't willing to and then blamed me for giving up on us and for walking out those times. Again lots of emotions and crying and me walking out.
That again should have been it. But again she told me she was depressed, needed me and didn't want to be alone and spinelessly I went over again. When I got there late in the evening she was just lieing on the bed being depressed, started crying and then asked me to leave because it was "all too painful". When I refused (just having arrived after she asked me come over at a time where I normally already would have been asleep, having been blamed for not loving her for walking out before and seeing that she cut herself again) she became malicious: a barrage of nasty remarks like how I only was with her because I could get noone better than her etcetera. Then threatening to kill herself if I didn't leave. When that didn't work she actually started punching and kicking me and I had to restrain her. This lasted on and off till 3AM. Finally things settled down and I decided to sleep in the other room. I'm actualy a pretty laid back guy and I was kind of shocked by my own thoughts, but that evening was the first time I sort of got an insight into the circumstances under which men resort to domestic violence.
I went to work the next day, still kinda shocked and worried how she was doing. She apologized, told me she was ok and that it was ok for me to come over. She was still depressed though. I cooked and tried to cheer her up, but she didn't eat and later in the evening she broke down again. Again telling me to leave. Again being obnoxious. Again the punching. Again the threatening suicide. At one point she actually grabbed a butcher's knife and came at me threateningly. I'm still bigger and stronger so I took the knife away and pushed her on the bed. She tried to fight me again and then I kinda lost it. Basically (while still trying not to yell) called her a stupid borderline *****, blamed her for everything, emptied a nearby mug of water on her, threw a plant against a wall, took some time to calm down, got my stuff and left. The thing that I can't get out of my head is that she looked pretty terrified when I threw the ****ing plant. Like I was actually going to hurt her. It made me think she maybe was before.
So yeah this was all a ****ed up rollercoaster and in the end I can't really blame anyone but myself. I feel drained but I guess I learned a lesson. I've been NC for four days. Deleted her on skype, whatsapp. No spine though, so wish me luck.
Last year I met a girl (23) and we hit it off great. She was funny, intelligent and pretty and seemed like everything I could ever wish for in a girl. There was a minor problem however. She was in an LTR. She would only see her bf in the weekends though, because they live quite some distance apart. He also had some serious personal issues and it seemed like their relationship was cooling down. The old me would have probably waited for their break-up before making my move, but I've been burned doing that previously: waiting for a relationship to end only to see another guy moving in, her only then ending her previous relationship and seeing myself left standing on the sidelines. Figuring that this was the modus operandi of most women and deciding not to be a dupe again I decided to make my move.
As I said we hit it off great. We shared interests and did everything couples normally do: cooking, shopping, cuddling, joking, laughing and for the first time in quite some time I felt happy. The sex was phenomenal too. There wasn't a thing she wouldn't do if I asked her to and in the rare instances where she seemed a bit reluctant she would do it to "make me happy". Of course this was only on weekdays. In the weekends the bf would visit her or he would visit him and I had to be out of the picture. I told myself this would just be temporary and hearing her complain about him it seemed like they were growing further apart. I of course pressured her a bit to put an end to her relationship, but she was still reluctant. She said she was afraid to hurt him and to add to his issues. She acted pretty torn-up about it, so I decided it was best to be patient.
He wasn't the only one with issues though. She used to be a cutter and had the scars (though not very many) on her legs to prove it. This happened when she was 16-18 in her emo/goth-phase and seeing as how that was some time ago I decided to ignore it. She had also had an eating disorder at that time, but assured me she had grown out of that. She still had a rather obsessive relationship with food and with her weight: calorie-counting, weighing herself several times a week, cardio 3 to 4 times a week and getting really beat-up when she for some reason hadn't gone to the gym or when she had gained weight. I figured that this wasn't too out of the ordinary for most women nowadays. She also admitted to having ****ed 12+ guys (she couldn't exactly be sure and wondered if *******s counted) and 2 girls before she turned 21 and got into her LTR. And although she still checked their facbook-pages sometimes I was told not to worry, because the guys were all *******s and it had meant little. Well I chose to ignore this too and even saw a silver lining in it: her being bi meant I finally had a shot at a MFF-threesome.
These of course are huge huge huge red flags, but she still made me grin like a stupid idiot every time I saw her so I decided to ignore it all. However I slowly grew frustrated with her not ending her LTR and during christmas we had out big first fight. I was to go visit my family alone, while she toured hers and her bf's families like nothing was out of the ordinary. It didn't seem right for her to tell me she loves me and then do that to me. I tried to change her mind and she told me she loved us both and that she wasn't willing to end her LTR. After that she tried to friendzone me. Being crushed by her confession of what I alread suspected and her admission of her actual priorities I told her to **** off and walked out, with her crying and sobbing, telling me I never actually loved her that noone loved her and saying she would be better of dead because "she only caused hurt".
She contacted me a few days later, told me she was depressed and lonely, that she loved me, missed me and really really needed to be ****ed (seems to work on dumb old me) and being spineless and feeling sorry for her and for myself we then got together again. Deliberately ignoring her LTR things were great for a while again until she and the bf were expected to on a week-long vaction with her parents. We ignored this as long as we could but tensions grew and exploded the day before she left. Things got emotional, I got angry, she cried a lot and it ended up with her locking herself in the bathroom cutting herself (although superficially) again. I made sure she was ok, and my emotions being all over the place didn't know what to do and just left.
That should have been it, but stupidly we got together again after her vacation. She mostly seemed to grow more and more depressed however. She started cutting and throwing up her food again. I ignored it for some time (best as i could) hoping it would get better and some days actually were, but she basically told me that she couldn't bear the guilt anymore; both towards her bf for cheating on him and towards me because she thought I deserved better than her. So after seeing little improvement I offered her to end things. I should have, but she actually wasn't willing to and then blamed me for giving up on us and for walking out those times. Again lots of emotions and crying and me walking out.
That again should have been it. But again she told me she was depressed, needed me and didn't want to be alone and spinelessly I went over again. When I got there late in the evening she was just lieing on the bed being depressed, started crying and then asked me to leave because it was "all too painful". When I refused (just having arrived after she asked me come over at a time where I normally already would have been asleep, having been blamed for not loving her for walking out before and seeing that she cut herself again) she became malicious: a barrage of nasty remarks like how I only was with her because I could get noone better than her etcetera. Then threatening to kill herself if I didn't leave. When that didn't work she actually started punching and kicking me and I had to restrain her. This lasted on and off till 3AM. Finally things settled down and I decided to sleep in the other room. I'm actualy a pretty laid back guy and I was kind of shocked by my own thoughts, but that evening was the first time I sort of got an insight into the circumstances under which men resort to domestic violence.
I went to work the next day, still kinda shocked and worried how she was doing. She apologized, told me she was ok and that it was ok for me to come over. She was still depressed though. I cooked and tried to cheer her up, but she didn't eat and later in the evening she broke down again. Again telling me to leave. Again being obnoxious. Again the punching. Again the threatening suicide. At one point she actually grabbed a butcher's knife and came at me threateningly. I'm still bigger and stronger so I took the knife away and pushed her on the bed. She tried to fight me again and then I kinda lost it. Basically (while still trying not to yell) called her a stupid borderline *****, blamed her for everything, emptied a nearby mug of water on her, threw a plant against a wall, took some time to calm down, got my stuff and left. The thing that I can't get out of my head is that she looked pretty terrified when I threw the ****ing plant. Like I was actually going to hurt her. It made me think she maybe was before.
So yeah this was all a ****ed up rollercoaster and in the end I can't really blame anyone but myself. I feel drained but I guess I learned a lesson. I've been NC for four days. Deleted her on skype, whatsapp. No spine though, so wish me luck.
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Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Changing - Mate you need to just step back here. She is emotionally unstable. Don't get dragged into a relationship with someone like that (ex or not and whatever you feel for her). Take it from me as someone who has done it in his 27 years- you only end up getting hurt.
stuffoflegends -She was trying to make you Jealous. She wanted attention and to rub your face in it. Even if it bothers you act like you couldn't care less. Indifference, in dating and in ex situations means you hold the power and you take theirs. If you aren't indifferent and it affects you- still act like it.
I'd say you need to steer clear- doing what she did means shes inherently malicious and bad news. You don't need that one back, even if she wants you back at some point.
TwistofCain -Stay strong brother. This is a fishing expedition by here- DO NOT BITE.
koon - Chin up Fella. Change your mindset. If you tell yourself you have no spine then you won't have one.
Change your attitude koon. Start acting like a boss and you'll be one. Start believing you are strong and can stand up to this and you will stand. If you waiver post here or PM your whatsapp and I'll give you mine.
We stand together and if one of us falters we catch them before they fall and if they fall we pick them up and stake them with us.
stuffoflegends -She was trying to make you Jealous. She wanted attention and to rub your face in it. Even if it bothers you act like you couldn't care less. Indifference, in dating and in ex situations means you hold the power and you take theirs. If you aren't indifferent and it affects you- still act like it.
I'd say you need to steer clear- doing what she did means shes inherently malicious and bad news. You don't need that one back, even if she wants you back at some point.
TwistofCain -Stay strong brother. This is a fishing expedition by here- DO NOT BITE.
koon - Chin up Fella. Change your mindset. If you tell yourself you have no spine then you won't have one.
Change your attitude koon. Start acting like a boss and you'll be one. Start believing you are strong and can stand up to this and you will stand. If you waiver post here or PM your whatsapp and I'll give you mine.
We stand together and if one of us falters we catch them before they fall and if they fall we pick them up and stake them with us.
StuffofLegends
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2014
- Messages
- 82
- Reaction score
- 1
Thanks, Lozzboss. I love this group!
I think the hardest thing for me is to gradually come to the realisation that it's over.
When you go through a breakup, or at least when I've been through a breakup, there's a pretty large part of you that thinks it's just the girl acting on impulse and if you disappear for a bit then she'll come to realise she made a mistake and reach out to you.
8 days since we broke up and the only contact we've had has been when she came to collect her things on Tuesday, and to be fair when she did she was on the brink of tears, I don't think she was acting either as she was wearing sunglasses to cover them up and you quite quite clearly see she was struggling to hold back the tears.
But I guess that as each day passes, the chane of reconciliation becomes less and less likely, the chance of another guy entering her life increases (if it hasn't already happened or indeed if that isn't the very reason for the breakup) and the reality of a 2 and a half year relationship ending becomes a reality.
It's just sadness I guess, I'm quite a nostalgic guy at times which I'm aware isn't really a good thing and I do sometimes struggle to deal with letting go, and letting go of this is ****ing hard.
Incidentally I drove past her a few hours ago, by total chance, I have a friend who lives near where she works and I often visit him on Saturday nights. Just brought it all back, and I know this is totally nonsensical but I clouldnt help but stress over the fact that she was driving to work from the wrong direction (her house is the other side of the place she was driving to and it was 10am here in the uk) and I know there is likely a decent explanation and I know I have no right to know anyway because I should be moving on, but the thought of her with someone else is not a comfortable one.
Sorry to verbally vomit on this thread but this far I've refrained from giving her a ****ing inch of encouragement to suggest that I'm still into her and I'd rather keep it that way so I'm using this thread as a means to vent.
I will be ok and I know that but it's just hard, I definately think I have issues with letting go and saying goodbye, even though in this instance I know it is likely for the best as if this hadnt happened now the likely outcome is it would have ended anyway when I went to uni
When you go through a breakup, or at least when I've been through a breakup, there's a pretty large part of you that thinks it's just the girl acting on impulse and if you disappear for a bit then she'll come to realise she made a mistake and reach out to you.
8 days since we broke up and the only contact we've had has been when she came to collect her things on Tuesday, and to be fair when she did she was on the brink of tears, I don't think she was acting either as she was wearing sunglasses to cover them up and you quite quite clearly see she was struggling to hold back the tears.
But I guess that as each day passes, the chane of reconciliation becomes less and less likely, the chance of another guy entering her life increases (if it hasn't already happened or indeed if that isn't the very reason for the breakup) and the reality of a 2 and a half year relationship ending becomes a reality.
It's just sadness I guess, I'm quite a nostalgic guy at times which I'm aware isn't really a good thing and I do sometimes struggle to deal with letting go, and letting go of this is ****ing hard.
Incidentally I drove past her a few hours ago, by total chance, I have a friend who lives near where she works and I often visit him on Saturday nights. Just brought it all back, and I know this is totally nonsensical but I clouldnt help but stress over the fact that she was driving to work from the wrong direction (her house is the other side of the place she was driving to and it was 10am here in the uk) and I know there is likely a decent explanation and I know I have no right to know anyway because I should be moving on, but the thought of her with someone else is not a comfortable one.
Sorry to verbally vomit on this thread but this far I've refrained from giving her a ****ing inch of encouragement to suggest that I'm still into her and I'd rather keep it that way so I'm using this thread as a means to vent.
I will be ok and I know that but it's just hard, I definately think I have issues with letting go and saying goodbye, even though in this instance I know it is likely for the best as if this hadnt happened now the likely outcome is it would have ended anyway when I went to uni
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Don't be afraid to share- we are here for each other- that's the purpose of this thread. You've done the right thing- NC is best, don;t change that.Jmurphy55 said:
As I said before, as we falter others lift us back onto our feet and we march on. Cheerfulness in the face of adversity.
It's hard to say goodbye, but think of it like this: if you can't move on then there is no chance you will ever get back together. You must let that longing and hope go if there's ever to be a chance of Round 2.
I have a friend whose started dating his ex from 2 years ago ago- time heals. The important bit is that you move on so that if the time comes and you WANT to get back together- you are in a new place and can start a NEW relationship.
PM me bro with your whatsapp if you wanna chat.
Hey there folks,
thank you all for your posts, very helpful and informative, dunno what'd i do without reading them
hope there is somebody with similiar situation (actually the whole forum, i know)
long story short
Dated for almost 2 years (love lives for tow years, heh), were to celebrate the date 10 apr, blah-blah. like 10 days ago i started to feel something's going wrong, but gave no attention. Poor me. Week ago (in exact that moment) we had a conversation, she said it's not easy for her to be in relationships. I was cold and said 'okay, think a little', got my garbage and left. Next day i asked what's wrong, she said there is no chance for us to be together anymore (and said this not once after). I **** my pants of course and tried to beg her to give me just one chance, you know, all what we say when dumped. No results. She said I'm immature and she want another type of the man to be with. There are few other things may cause this situation: she's going to study in other country this Sep, or she found somebody better than me (really?).
We'd been through many happy (lived together, travellings, go outs, etc) and unhappy (death of one of her closest siblings) moments, so I thought I found what I need in this life.
I did a lot of crap, she cried a lot (it was usually me who started quarrels), etc, so it may be my fault, but we loved (may be still love) each other.
She tried "let's be just friends" thing, I preferred no contact, she said "okay, like you want". This is the 3rd day.
Don't even exactly know what I want and wait for form you, bros, but may be you have something to say. Know nobody understands me better than you are.
thank you all for your posts, very helpful and informative, dunno what'd i do without reading them
hope there is somebody with similiar situation (actually the whole forum, i know)
long story short
Dated for almost 2 years (love lives for tow years, heh), were to celebrate the date 10 apr, blah-blah. like 10 days ago i started to feel something's going wrong, but gave no attention. Poor me. Week ago (in exact that moment) we had a conversation, she said it's not easy for her to be in relationships. I was cold and said 'okay, think a little', got my garbage and left. Next day i asked what's wrong, she said there is no chance for us to be together anymore (and said this not once after). I **** my pants of course and tried to beg her to give me just one chance, you know, all what we say when dumped. No results. She said I'm immature and she want another type of the man to be with. There are few other things may cause this situation: she's going to study in other country this Sep, or she found somebody better than me (really?).
We'd been through many happy (lived together, travellings, go outs, etc) and unhappy (death of one of her closest siblings) moments, so I thought I found what I need in this life.
I did a lot of crap, she cried a lot (it was usually me who started quarrels), etc, so it may be my fault, but we loved (may be still love) each other.
She tried "let's be just friends" thing, I preferred no contact, she said "okay, like you want". This is the 3rd day.
Don't even exactly know what I want and wait for form you, bros, but may be you have something to say. Know nobody understands me better than you are.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Classy-
She's the Naive one. Relationships are about ups and down- negatives and positives. Lots of women say that it has to be good all the time etc- they are deluded and need to grow up.
I've just finished my first week. It's tough buddy- but stick to the NC and I PROMISE you it gets easier.
Most importantly while you are NC you focus on yourself- getting fitter, looking better, realizing that you don't need her in your life - period.
In time you'll forget her, you shared a bond and it will always be there but stick to NC.
That means Delete her number so you can't contact her (it's only she who can contact you-where you have the power).
Chin up brother- you'll get through it, if you need help just post here or PM me.
She's the Naive one. Relationships are about ups and down- negatives and positives. Lots of women say that it has to be good all the time etc- they are deluded and need to grow up.
I've just finished my first week. It's tough buddy- but stick to the NC and I PROMISE you it gets easier.
Most importantly while you are NC you focus on yourself- getting fitter, looking better, realizing that you don't need her in your life - period.
In time you'll forget her, you shared a bond and it will always be there but stick to NC.
That means Delete her number so you can't contact her (it's only she who can contact you-where you have the power).
Chin up brother- you'll get through it, if you need help just post here or PM me.
This thread is an extremely good place to vent for sure.
Cheered myself up hugely by going through some old clothes that didn't fit me (I put on some weight over the last 2 years) and noticing that my gym work and dieting is clearly paying off as they almost all fit now, some not quite but very nearly as apposed to 2 months ago when there was no point even trying.
One thing I will say is that a breakup certainly gives you a boost if you use the energy correctly. Going to begin a 12 week weight loss challenge ahead of a summer partying holiday with friends which is in July. It isn't going to magically make the breakup go away but it is at least an opportunity to channel a new zest of energy into a positive direction rather than the self destructive path which is so common during times like this.
Cheered myself up hugely by going through some old clothes that didn't fit me (I put on some weight over the last 2 years) and noticing that my gym work and dieting is clearly paying off as they almost all fit now, some not quite but very nearly as apposed to 2 months ago when there was no point even trying.
One thing I will say is that a breakup certainly gives you a boost if you use the energy correctly. Going to begin a 12 week weight loss challenge ahead of a summer partying holiday with friends which is in July. It isn't going to magically make the breakup go away but it is at least an opportunity to channel a new zest of energy into a positive direction rather than the self destructive path which is so common during times like this.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Good man- positive mental attitude and positive change. When you regain your confidence you won't worry about the past- you'll be an architect of a better future.Jmurphy55 said: