count lustig
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2013
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 0
count lustig said:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
mustangguy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2013
- Messages
- 11
- Reaction score
- 0
I haven't talked to her since Monday. Everyday since then she has sent me 1 or 2 harmless text messages that i haven't responded to. Any idea what she's doing?
Justin Time
Don Juan
As long as she knows what you truly want, continue to ignore the texts...She's using you as a crutch.
God it's ****ing annoying how well things are going for her at the moment. Speaking to some girl on pof the last couple of days and that'll probably lead somewhere so that's been good to take my mind off things. I would love her to come crawling back but it seems she's just as stubborn as I would be in the reverse situation
count lustig
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2013
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 0
ok boys,
i f****d up lol,
she keep messaging me through out the day litterally 8 missed calls and i think something around 10 texts
i was at work so i said "im at work ill tttyl"
and so i got home and texted her say "you can call me now"
and she hasnt
welllp
I FVCKKKKKED UPPPP LOL, no contact day 1 again
i let you guys down :-(
i f****d up lol,
she keep messaging me through out the day litterally 8 missed calls and i think something around 10 texts
i was at work so i said "im at work ill tttyl"
and so i got home and texted her say "you can call me now"
and she hasnt
welllp
I FVCKKKKKED UPPPP LOL, no contact day 1 again
i let you guys down :-(
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
RedScorpion
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2012
- Messages
- 410
- Reaction score
- 216
- Age
- 38
That's not that bad. She knows she called you 8 times, obviously desperately. Even though you did break nc, you acted pretty normal. Which is great.count lustig said:
Bad thing to do is be needy in any fashion. Keep nc up, since she hasn't sorted out what she wants, at all.
Justin Time
Don Juan
Then don't think about it....mike465 said:
I can't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt if my ex did that, so I avoid thinking about that happening. Now I can't vouch for any woman, because I had a gf sleep with a dude within two weeks of knowing him...well, we has just broken up and she was already out. I couldn't handle it.
My last ex I don't think she'll sleep with someone else, but if she does, it's her loss of a good guy and I know she'll regret it.
Justin Time
Don Juan
20 days, went out last night for the first time in a long time...didn't go the way I planned. Ended up having to meet my kids' mom. Some **** went down with a tenant at an apt. that she owned.
It felt good to be out though. I had a lot of confidence. Definitely was getting a lot of looks. I made it a point to update my FB account with going out. My ex had deleted me from FB after recently accepting a friendship request. She deleted it the day after NC started. Ms Stubborn just wont give in...but I'm sure she's surprised I haven't messaged her. I KNOW she's missing me as well, but again, Ms Stubborn. We'll see how long she can keep this up.
It felt good to be out though. I had a lot of confidence. Definitely was getting a lot of looks. I made it a point to update my FB account with going out. My ex had deleted me from FB after recently accepting a friendship request. She deleted it the day after NC started. Ms Stubborn just wont give in...but I'm sure she's surprised I haven't messaged her. I KNOW she's missing me as well, but again, Ms Stubborn. We'll see how long she can keep this up.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Mike you cant think like that man. I was guilty of that for a while but it only makes things worse. Its all in your head and you let it happen wich means you can make it stop. Finially what i did was say hey if she is out doing that ...i cant stop it and were broken up. So go get laid and you wont feel bad. Thats what i did and did it alot for about 2 weeks or so. And remember we dont get the term HO if we bang alot of chicks haha. But day 29 here..thinkin abt hittin the lake up!mike465 said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Day 1 starting tomorrow. She is on her way over tonight for our last night together as we're breaking up. I've already tried to convince her it's a mistake to break up, so already fvcked things a little.
She'll be leaving mine in the morning for the last time and I know I will be able to not text, just hard.
Any tips for our last conversation? Tell her not to call etc.?
She'll be leaving mine in the morning for the last time and I know I will be able to not text, just hard.
Any tips for our last conversation? Tell her not to call etc.?
Justin Time
Don Juan
Try maintaining control of the situation. Without knowing more about you two, I'm not sure what else to tell you.
I'm very tempted to text her at the moment. I just saw a few old messages in my phone of our last conversation prior to the big showdown on the phone....so tempted. But I'll try my best not to say/do anything. This sh!t is hard!
We didn't really leave on a good note. It was more of an argument where she wanted to be friends and I wanted a relationship and she decided it was gonna be friends...so I told her that we can't be friends and I didn't want us to talk and she got upset, we yelled and screamed at each other over the phone, then she hung up on me, and never answered any of my 20 something calls that followed the conversation.
I left it at that and haven't called or texted her since...and she hasn't called or texted either.
I'm very tempted to text her at the moment. I just saw a few old messages in my phone of our last conversation prior to the big showdown on the phone....so tempted. But I'll try my best not to say/do anything. This sh!t is hard!
We didn't really leave on a good note. It was more of an argument where she wanted to be friends and I wanted a relationship and she decided it was gonna be friends...so I told her that we can't be friends and I didn't want us to talk and she got upset, we yelled and screamed at each other over the phone, then she hung up on me, and never answered any of my 20 something calls that followed the conversation.
I left it at that and haven't called or texted her since...and she hasn't called or texted either.
****ing hell I texted her this morning (this **** is hard)
Seemed happy to hear from me but obviously there was no lovey stuff and her replies got shorter and shorter until I said 'haha it's okay if you don't want to talk' and she said 'ok speak to you later'.
What's wrong with just a normal conversation without her acting like a moody *****? What's she even trying to achieve with this?
Seemed happy to hear from me but obviously there was no lovey stuff and her replies got shorter and shorter until I said 'haha it's okay if you don't want to talk' and she said 'ok speak to you later'.
What's wrong with just a normal conversation without her acting like a moody *****? What's she even trying to achieve with this?
She said about how we haven't been in contact much recently. Not talking at all just seems to make her more annoyed with me. I told her when it ended that it was fine to be friends and now it's as if she's annoyed at me for (seemingly) completely accepting that.Mauser96 said:
What the **** does she even want? If she doesn't want me then why doesn't she just stop talking to me? Trust me she isn't the kind to be bothered with playing games...maybe subconsciously she doesn't like the thought of me moving on without a fight, I dunno
Probably a bit older than the rest of you guys here (34) and I'm the recipient of an unwanted divorce. It was final on April 15 and I had just found out that she was unhappy a month prior. We were married for 8 years and together for 9. All the time we've been apart I've begged and pleaded with her, text terrorized, Facebook stalked....everything you could possibly do wrong in this situation. Almost 4 months of this, despite being warned that it was only pushing her further away and more importantly, was impeding my healing. I've done brief NC stints before....at her request. She would ask me for "space to think" and it never lasted longer than 3 weeks with her at the end of it still telling me that "she can't" get back together with me.
It's time to end this. I'm tired of feeling this way. 4 months and I have made little to no progress. I'm sure she's not suffering anywhere close to the way I am. I want my life back. I last talked to my ex through e-mail on Tuesday...over the phone almost two weeks ago. I guess we'll say I'm on day 5 right now and it's hell. I feel so rejected. I never thought she would leave me. I used to be the most important person in her life, the one she told everything to first. Now she recently got a new car and didn't tell me until 3 weeks later.
But yeah....nice to meet you guys. Day 5.
It's time to end this. I'm tired of feeling this way. 4 months and I have made little to no progress. I'm sure she's not suffering anywhere close to the way I am. I want my life back. I last talked to my ex through e-mail on Tuesday...over the phone almost two weeks ago. I guess we'll say I'm on day 5 right now and it's hell. I feel so rejected. I never thought she would leave me. I used to be the most important person in her life, the one she told everything to first. Now she recently got a new car and didn't tell me until 3 weeks later.
But yeah....nice to meet you guys. Day 5.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You're a genius I'll give you that.Mauser96 said:
Knowing that she gets more frustrated with each day that I ignore her is really going to help.
I've had a few false dawns but that's opened my eyes a bit there.
Thank you my friend!
Justin Time
Don Juan
Our conversation wasn't finished. She got upset and hung up the phone before I got my point across.Mauser96 said:
either way, I messaged her after day 20:
Me: Thinking you were right about us not working. Thanks so much! We will never stop growing as individuals and once we get over the past we will be much happier with ourselves and maybe we can be friends again one day. I guess I never really got a chance to say goodbye and doing it now. Whatever you do, make sure you are happy. Ill be doing the same. I'm going to make myself happy as I can't depend on anyone else to do that for me. It's time to move on I guess. Take care.
her: Take care.
I decided to just move along. I don't care if she wants to come back or not. I'm well occupied at the moment.
It looks like you don't understand what no contact means and that you are back down to day zero.
You also told her exactly what you were doing and exactly how you feel so now her little hamster can stop spinning and she can stop wondering or even thinking about you....because with your little text you validated her decision that you were not man enough for her and that she was right to break up with you.
Chicks care about having the last word and vomiting up their feelings...you need to be indifferent and not share your feelings especially with women that dumped you...a real man wouldn't care enough to send that text that you sent.
You also told her exactly what you were doing and exactly how you feel so now her little hamster can stop spinning and she can stop wondering or even thinking about you....because with your little text you validated her decision that you were not man enough for her and that she was right to break up with you.
Chicks care about having the last word and vomiting up their feelings...you need to be indifferent and not share your feelings especially with women that dumped you...a real man wouldn't care enough to send that text that you sent.
fuko2007
Senior Don Juan
Day 31.
I have to say i didnt not break NC. Me and the semi former one-itis have a friend that is pretty sick. I passed her yesterday and she made it a point to look "really hard" almost broke her neck and wave. Well a second later i get a text saying Hi......i figuerd she was going to let me know abt them. So i reply back hey....she never said anything back. I know she did it for her own self-validation and it really pi**es me off. But im not sad i would rather slap her in the face. But i figuerd it was for news on our friend..but i was wrong. I hate the *****. Any way this weekend was good, gamed some girls up and had plans the next day with one but seeing as i didnt go to bed until 8a.m. they didnt happen ahaha..its funny to see my natural game coming back tho. Well SS time do some work. And just in time......quit trying to find a reason to talk to her. Your text that you sent her was just you hoping to get a reaction out of her but all you really did was make yourself look desperate . STOP talking to her unless you have to i.e. you dying and cant get anyone else on the phone.
'' "stay classy guys"
I have to say i didnt not break NC. Me and the semi former one-itis have a friend that is pretty sick. I passed her yesterday and she made it a point to look "really hard" almost broke her neck and wave. Well a second later i get a text saying Hi......i figuerd she was going to let me know abt them. So i reply back hey....she never said anything back. I know she did it for her own self-validation and it really pi**es me off. But im not sad i would rather slap her in the face. But i figuerd it was for news on our friend..but i was wrong. I hate the *****. Any way this weekend was good, gamed some girls up and had plans the next day with one but seeing as i didnt go to bed until 8a.m. they didnt happen ahaha..its funny to see my natural game coming back tho. Well SS time do some work. And just in time......quit trying to find a reason to talk to her. Your text that you sent her was just you hoping to get a reaction out of her but all you really did was make yourself look desperate . STOP talking to her unless you have to i.e. you dying and cant get anyone else on the phone.
'' "stay classy guys"
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.